Socially Awkward Socialization

Sira annoys Azira by being social all day.

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The westernmost tip of Kalea, Wind Reach is home to an amazing group of people and their giant eagle mounts. [Lore]

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Socially Awkward Socialization

Postby Sira on January 27th, 2015, 10:58 am

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The warm water always felt amazing, and Sira could feel the tension in her body fade away as she sunk down into the pool. She watched with some interest as Azira began to pull her own clothes off, but remembered what she had said about gawking, and quickly averted her gaze, closing her eyes and sinking further to dunk her head beneath the water to wet her hair. When she came back up Azira was undressed and sinking into the pool. She smiled at the comment about wanting a tub in her room, and had to stifle a laugh about being lucky.

"Heh, maybe. It doesn't feel that way most of the time."

Sira leaned back, staring up at the dancing lights on the ceiling, always amazed at the way a few glass mirrors could produce such a beautiful effect. Hers wasn't the only room in Wind Reach that had such tricks, in a city of glass blowers there were all sorts of beautiful things to be seen, but she didn't think any of the other endal had a bathing chamber quite like hers. If she downsized aeries like she was considering she would have to make sure it was in a place that they could recreate this effect again, or something else like it.

"I wasn't always an endal, you know. Maybe I was lucky that I was born a Wind Eagle kelvic, I'll admit that, but for years I was an avora like you. I had to prove myself to the real eagles, get them to accept me as one of their own, before they gave me all this."

Sira wasn't sure why she was telling Azira all that. The Avora would likely still see it as luck, and perhaps it was, but Sira didn't like it when people told her she was lucky. Yes, she'd been born a wind eagle kelvic. Yes, that was awesome. But beyond that, her life had been one tragedy after another. It was a constant struggle to survive. Sometimes she wondered if some god was angry with her for some unknown slight and had cursed her.

"Even after, I still wasn't treated like an equal. The other endal didn't like me because I was different, so I had to win them over to. Even now some still don't like me, especially now that Aidara is gone."

Sira shrugged. She wasn't looking for pity, and certainly wouldn't expect an Avora to give it to her. Even if she told Azira her entire life story, the huntress probably still had worse stories of her own. It was the unfortunate reality of Wind Reach. Sira knew it was the best way, the only way, but often it was unfair to those who were not at the top.

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Socially Awkward Socialization

Postby Azira on February 1st, 2015, 10:43 pm

Her head was ducked quickly beneath the waters, wet hair plastered over her face when she emerged that was quickly swept back again. An incredulous look was shot in Sira's direction. It didn't feel like she was lucky? Was she being serious? Could she not compare her lot to that of the Dek and see how much better off she was than the common drudge? No, she probably never thought like that. Azira doubted that it ever occurred to many Avora and Endal, how good their situations were. They thought themselves invincible, unable to be reduced to the plights of the Chiet and the Dek. The huntress had considered it but then she was the exception rather than the rule. She didn't lack the arrogance but that didn't mean that she'd never considered how easily she could fall from her position.

"Maybe you should try to remember how lucky you are," the teen commented boldly. It probably wasn't wise to be telling an Endal how they should and shouldn't feel but that had never stopped the huntress in the past although she had respect for Sira. She had hoped that the Kelvic was a bit more grounded than her compatriots.

She regretted her quick words as the Endal explained that she had had to work to gain her rank. It wasn't as if she was unaware of how you could rise through the ranks but presumably her Yasihood hadn't been the same. The Avora had heard that Kelvics aged more quickly than ordinary humans so if that was the case her youth had probably been very different from Azira's. Things wouldn't have been the same for her and no doubt she hadn't had the stress of having to work on skills in order to stand a chance of becoming an Avora. It had probably been an automatic thing rather than having to wait on an apprenticeship. Maybe it had been difficult to impress the eagles but it still didn't seem quite as stressful.

As Sira continued, Azira's guilt over her hasty words grew. She hadn't had it easy because she was different and the huntress could empathise entirely. Fitting in had never been her forte and she'd always suffered for it. The struggle that the other woman must face was one that she was all too familiar with. From that perspective, it didn't seem quite as lucky as she had previously thought.

"Yes, I can... I can see where you're coming from," she responded awkwardly, swishing a hand through the water that sent ripples across its surface. "People can be very... nasty sometimes. Sorry," she murmured, heat rising in her cheeks in her embarrassment. She decided to steer the conversation to a topic that she was curious about but hadn't been informed about yet. Sira kept bringing up the name Aidara but Azira hadn't been sure before who she might be. She was starting to get something of an idea of who she might be though.

"Aidara... you keep bringing that name up. Is she... Was she your... rider?" Her golden gaze was turned on the Kelvic, projecting innocent curiosity. She wasn't trying to dig anything unpleasant up. If Aidara had been her rider and she wasn't now then it seemed likely that something had happened to her. The only explanation that presented itself to Azira was that the woman might have died and if that was the case then perhaps it was a sore subject with the raptor. If she upset her though, it wouldn't exactly be her fault but she could only hope that Sira wouldn't think that she'd meant any harm.
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Socially Awkward Socialization

Postby Sira on February 12th, 2015, 6:47 pm

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Aidara's face filled Sira's mind, bringing a sad smile to her lips. She still had no idea where Addy was, if she was alive or dead. The bond between them was broken, but their relationship had been more than eagle and rider, more than bondmates. Part of Sira's heart still ached for her lost love, but it was buried deep inside, and she had moved on. She would never stop loving the healer, but she could move on.

"Yes.. She was. That and a lot more."

Sira let out a sigh, shifting in the water and pulling her knees up to her chest. Though she had moved on, or so she told herself, she had not really spoken to anyone about the healer at any length. It seemed as good a time as any to start. Might as well let it all out. That was supposed to be good for you, right?

"She's probably dead, but I don't know. She went missing. No trace of her anywhere. I don't know if she left willingly, died, was kidnapped by some god, it's happened before. I loved her, and she was my endal, and my bondmate, but she has been gone for a long time now."

Sira paused, staring at the light dancing across the surface of the water, memories filling her mind. She continued after a few ticks, speaking quietly.

"Natalie, that's my daughter, thinks I drove Addy away. Maybe I did. She wasn't a normal choice for an endal. Not like you.. She was a healer. One of the real ones, with magic. She couldn't hurt things.. And that's what endal do. We hunt, kill, fight. We hurt things. Addy wasn't meant for the world I drug her into, but she made me who I am today, and I hope that if she is alive she is happy and saving lives somewhere, doing what she does best."

Sira relaxed again, turning her eyes from the water to meet the Avora's. This woman was different from Aidara. She was what Endal were meant to be. Sira wasn't even certain why she was hesitating anymore. Choosing a rider didn't have to make sense, but this choice did. It wasn't something that most eagles spent a lot of time thinking about. When they found the person they wanted they knew it, and that was that, but Sira had always been cautious about who she let into her life. She couldn't just pick someone without thinking about it first. Too many people had hurt her for that. She had to be sure.

"Well," she said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. "That's my sap story. Now it's your turn. Tell me something about you."

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Socially Awkward Socialization

Postby Azira on May 8th, 2015, 11:48 pm

The sadness that came to the Endal's features assured her that the topic was indeed an upsetting one. For a moment, she wondered if she was going to receive an answer or whether the other would clam up on her and refuse. Her curiosity was quenched although Sira left her with more questions. So Aidara had been her rider but what else had she been? She hadn't simply said that she had been more to her but rather a lot more. That ruled out the possibility that had merely been bondmates and friends. Could they have been lovers?

Her eyes moved over her surroundings once again, the beautiful light that was dispersed to dance around them in glittering rainbow patterns. Romantic. They'd lived here together, bathed here together, what other explanation was there for Sira's emphasis of just how much her rider had meant to her. Azira wanted to apologise, realising that she'd probably chosen the most sensitive topic imaginable if her hunch was correct. The girl said nothing though but remained mute, believing that her words would serve no purpose. A useless convention that did nothing to undo the damage that had already been done. Her expression no doubt projected her horror and guilt for saying such a thing but she stayed silent, even as Sira hugged her knees in a self-comforting gesture. She'd driven her to such a place of pain that she had to comfort herself. Just great. The one member of the upper caste that she respected and she'd probably driven a wedge between them, fractured the fragile beginnings of their relationship.

The only positive thing to come out of her question was that she was learning more about the Kelvic. The huntress hadn't known that she had a daughter, hadn't known who her rider had been or what she'd done. Azira hadn't ever considered herself as what an Endal was supposed to be as Sira apparently had done. She'd wanted to be one of course, had believed for a while that she ought to be one but she had never necessarily been entirely deserving of the position. The girl had simply aspired to be one despite lacking the qualifications. Was she truly Endal material then despite her own doubts? She really did wonder. She had told her outright that she was considering her as her rider so she must believe that she was right for the job.

Their eyes met over the water, Azira looking away first as she found herself being scrutinised. The silence between them stretched onwards, the huntress uncertain how it could be broken until Sira spoke.

"Something about me?" she blurted. "What could you possibly want to know about me?" The huntress lapsed into silence once more, mind racing to find some tidbit of information to satisfy the other's curiosity. Nothing too private but then what did that leave her with? Most of her life that might be of any interest to her was something that Azira wanted to keep to herself. Then again the Kelvic had shared some very personal things with her and while she didn't have to share something as personal, she would have to sacrifice a bit of her privacy.

"Well you know what I do for work obviously. I shoot. I read. I don't really do much outside of that. I've always been very focused on hunting, I guess. I was apprenticed when I was eleven so I must have been doing something, right?" she joked. The smile quickly faded from her face and she looked seriously at the other woman. "Really, what am I supposed to tell you, Sira? What do you want to know? I doubt you'd actually be interested in anything about me so what am I supposed to tell you?"
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Postby Sira on June 3rd, 2015, 11:49 pm

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"I am interested in everything about you," Sira responded, rather straightforwardly. "But.. you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

Sira shouldn't have been surprised. Azira was not Aidara. Aidara was the one who taught Sira to open up, to tell personal things about herself. Other Inarta did not do that. Sira had not done that, until Aidara. She stifled a chuckle to herself, shaking her head. Why was she even comparing these two? She was interested in Azira for entirely different reasons than she had been Aidara. Sira firmly believed that she had chosen Aidara because she needed to be healed, and Aidara had done that. It wasn't a realization Sira had come to immediately. Many times Addy had asked her why she had chosen her, and Sira had always avoided the answer with things like, "Wind eagles just know." It wasn't until recently that Sira had realized the actual answer, and now that she was healed, she didn't need a healer anymore. She needed a hunter, a kindred spirit. Was Azira that person? Perhaps. She was certainly a hunter, if nothing else. And she seemed to have a past she did not want to speak of, much as Sira had once been. And there was.. something else. That unexplainable something that she'd only ever before sensed with Aidara. Perhaps Wind Eagles did just know. But Sira wasn't ready to choose. No matter what instinct she might have, she needed to learn more of Azira before she could offer her something so intimate as becoming her rider. And there were other candidates.

Khara, the timid game scout. She had promise, and there was something in her that Sira could not describe. But was she Sira's rider to be? Sira wasn't sure.. and it didn't really matter at the moment. Sira was thinking far too serious thoughts for the situation she was in. There was a beautiful, naked woman in her bath that she should be devoting her attention to, even if nothing more than conversation happened between them.

"Well, how about something easy then. What do you read? I admit, I don't read much. I can, but.. well, I guess it comes with being a bird. Books just don't make sense to me."

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Socially Awkward Socialization

Postby Azira on June 23rd, 2015, 10:39 pm

The teen's eyes widened, finding herself unable to say anything after Sira's admission. Everything? Why did she want to know everything? The huntress shifted uncomfortably, sending ripples fluttering away from her on the water. The huntress couldn't understand where this interest had come from so suddenly. They hardly knew each other. They were from different castes, they'd originally been brought together purely by chance and they'd had a very professional relationship thus far. This sudden desire to make their relationship a more personal one was highly perplexing. The teen didn't know what to say. She hadn't thought that the woman really wanted to know anything and certainly not everything there was to know about Azira. She'd thought Sira was simply attempting to make idle conversation. This was more like probing though and the Avora found herself on edge and insecure now in the other's presence.

Azira said nothing at first, trying to determine whether she could remain mute without angering the other woman. Sira had said that no information need pass from her lips if she didn't want it to but it didn't mean that silence wouldn't cause offence. There was very little information that she was willing to part with and so if she had to say something she didn't know what it would be. It left her in something of a dilemma.

As she considered a course of action, she avoided eye contact with the Kelvic. Instead she gazed pensively at the water, careful not to look at the place where the other's nubile form would be visible beneath the surface. The reminder of their nakedness and proximity to one another made her self-conscious, a slow spread of heat across her cheeks informing her that her face had flushed. She was tempted to duck her head beneath the bath's surface and let the waters cover her and warm her further but it seemed it would be too obvious a move.

Think about something else! Think about what you're going to say to her! she reminded herself, forcing herself out of her current line of thought. Sira's suggestion helped as well. Breathing a sigh of relief, she launched into a monologue, glad that the woman had given her a subject she could talk about freely.

"I read all sorts of things! I don't think some people appreciate books enough. Some of them only have stories in them that someone has made up but they're still interesting. They teach you something, a lesson so they're for Yasi and... maybe for people a bit older as well. Not everyone can grasp certain ideas." She smiled slyly to herself before raising her gaze to meet Sira's. "I like to read old journals and accounts from people who travelled outside the city or who came in contact with unusual visitors. Those ones are my favourites but they can be tricky to find in the Enclave sometimes and some of them can sound pretty fanciful. I think they're worth the read though. There are things I've read that have turned out to be true, like stuff about the Symenestra."

The teen shrugged. Her gaze returned to the water again, fingers tracing patterns in its wobbling surface.

"I've read more books about hunting though. Sometimes I'll find a book with animals in it. Drawings and notes, where to hunt them, good ways to find them, that sort of thing. I've read ones about hunting techniques. Different traps, ways to better your chances of getting a kill. I found one a few seasons ago about making net traps out of ropes. They can be pretty useful although sometimes they're difficult to read or they're damaged. Librarians can copy them but they can't copy something that isn't there any more. Can you see why they might be worthwhile though?" she asked pointedly, her eyes raised again to seek eye contact.
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Postby Sira on June 24th, 2015, 3:04 am

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Azira did not seem to notice Azira's reaction to her words. She was Inarta.. well, not really, but she was, and Inarta could be blunt and to the point more often than not. Sira was no different, and she had told Azira the truth. She was interested in everything about her, though the huntress did not have to tell her anything she didn't want to. If she was going to consider Azira as a rider, she needed to know her, however. The endal was very glad when she finally found a subject Azira seemed happy to talk about, even if it was a subject she had little interest in herself.

Sira couldn't help but smile as Azira went into her monologue. This was what she wanted. True, it didn't really give her any useful insight into whether or not Azira would be a good rider, but who the petch even knew what made someone a good rider? She wanted to talk with Azira, get to know her better and maybe.. well, best not to let her mind stray in that direction just yet. Azira seemed nervous enough about the situation she was in. Or was she irritated? Ah, but the books. Pay attention, Sira! She's talking about books. Silly papers with drawings on them that made words, but still, they were important to Azira.

"I can see how they would be useful.. and even entertaining. I did read a book just for the fun of it once.. It was, um.." Sira paused, her own face turning a little red at the recollection. It had been a few years since she'd first found the book, but she'd read it twice. "Um.. it's call Passions of a Confused Drykas."

Sira's eyes suddenly lit up and a mischievous grin spread across her face. "I should leave that book on Khara's bed!" Sira laughed and fell back, dunking herself playfully under the water for a moment before popping back up, her eyes focusing on Azira once more.

"I've read some books on hunting and trapping too. Nothing on traveling though, although I've probably traveled further than anyone in Wind Reach. Maybe further than anyone in Mizahar. I've been above Mizahar. Maybe I should write a story about that.. well, maybe not. I'm worse at writing than I am at reading. Would you actually want to travel somewhere? I've thought about going on one of the trade flights."

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Postby Azira on July 2nd, 2015, 11:17 pm

Sira's gaze hadn't been entirely focused while she'd been listening and Azira had seen the point where she had given herself a mental shake. She hadn't been that boring, had she? The Kelvic had asked after all so she'd obviously had an interest but maybe the huntress had just talked a little bit too much for the other's liking. Or maybe she really is just trying to make idle conversation and she isn't interested at all, her brain chimed in cruelly. The smugness that had appeared after making her arguments about books shrank away, leaving her feeling stupid. Had she really expected an Endal to be interested in what she had to say? Just because she was an Avora didn't mean that she would be worthy of one's attention. Such chattering she'd indulged in! What foolish sentiments had come with the feeling that she had proved a point to an Endal!

All feelings of triumph faded and she was on the verge of lowering her gaze when the woman chose to respond. Azira listened, some of the light returning to her gaze that had previously become dimmed. The blush interested her immensely and she was instantly interested in what sort of book the other could have read to elicit such a response. Her head tilted to one side, eyes narrowed slightly as she scrutinised the other. Passions? With that in the title it suggested a certain sort of book and one that she had come across a few times during her perusal of shelves. She had no particular interest in them and had been shocked by the first one she'd opened in curiosity but she had still managed to read one or two. The Endal's reaction was a fascinating one. She hadn't imagined that Sira was the shy sort. She was a highly attractive woman and she would have imagined that she was far from prudish but perhaps that was the case. The possibility was filed away until a later time when she might find out something more concrete.

The idea of giving the game scout the book made the huntress snort loudly, the sound echoing and bringing a blush to her face once more. It was a response that Sira wasn't likely to miss but she couldn't help finding it amusing. Khara was a shy one for certain and she seemed like the sort of girl to get flustered by reading a romance, especially during an intimate scene. However, remembering what the game scout had admitted to her the season before, the teen's mirth died. Sexual scenes were likely to make her far more than flustered considering the abuse the girl had suffered at the hands of that Avora. Azira's hands clenched beneath the water as she recalled it and how Khara had seemed to think that she'd deserved it. It reminded her that something had to be done about that man.

She'd been listening inattentively, only snatching words of what her bathing companion had said but she managed to fix on one word in particular.

"Travel? I... I might like to travel, I don't know. I'm not likely to ever get the chance and it would take so long to get anywhere. Too far from home as well but..." She thought of some of the accounts she'd read, the passages about fanciful creatures that couldn't be real, the descriptions of cities, the strange customs of other races that had been outlined and she found herself nodding.

"I think I would like to go somewhere. I don't know where though. There are some places close by like Lhavit or Alvadas or Kalinor but maybe somewhere further afield would be more exciting. Somewhere strange and wild. I'd like to see proper Myrians, not half-breeds, and see if they're as savage as they say. I'd like to see those places covered in sand like an endless beach but without the water. I'd like to see Morwen's home, the place of endless winter and see if it really is real, if anyone could really survive there. There are more places out there than I could possibly imagine but... I'll never get to see them. I'm just left with old words and the images my mind can create."

The huntress sighed, suddenly melancholy as the realisation that she would never have more than that took hold of her, as it had often done before. She was silent for a few moments before trying to make this more of a conversation rather than a monologue.

"Are you interested in it? Travelling? I know we're all home birds..." she paused, smiling at the unintentional pun before continuing, "... but would you like a change?"
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Postby Sira on September 12th, 2016, 11:41 pm

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Sira could not help but smile at the sound of the snort, but she didn't comment on it. Azira had actually begun talking, and that was exactly what she had hoped for. Her eyes wandered over Azira's face, studying her features as she spoke. Her pale skin, each and every freckle, the way her pale pink lips moved with each word, and of course the fiery red hair, wet and dripping from the water and steam.

..travel. Sira! Stop distracting yourself! She'd been listening, she really had. Travel? Azira had asked about travel.

"I've thought about it. Before I found a rider I almost left several times, but I'm a Wind Eagle, and that was before Ivak. I couldn't leave. Now, though, I wouldn't mind seeing more of the world. I don't think I could ever stay away forever, but travel sounds nice. I would like a change."

Sira thought about it for a moment. Leaving Wind Reach for a while would be nice, but she didn't think she would want to do it alone. As much as she talked a big game, the idea of going to some other city, losing her endal status, and probably only barely understanding the language, it was a little frightening. Not that she would ever admit that.

"I'm sure if you wanted to go you could find someone willing to take you. Maybe I'll take you, if you want."

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Postby Azira on September 16th, 2016, 8:41 pm

Azira wasn't entirely sure that Sira was listening to her. As she talked, she became aware of just how greatly the Endal was scrutinising her and it was distracting and rather uncomfortable as well. It didn't seem possible that someone could look at another person that way and be doing something as mundane as listening to chatter at the same time. She tended to talk more when she was nervous and being unaccustomed to such an intense look directed her way, the teen found it easy to talk almost endlessly about travel. The question had been thrown out to divert Sira's attention as well as turning this back into a conversation. The fact that the Kelvic was able to respond to such a thing when her mind seemed elsewhere surprised the huntress. Her offer to bring her away from Wind Reach compounded it, leaving her with her lips parted as if ready to speak but with words failing her. Working desperately to regain the power of speech, she thought quickly about what she might say in response, a minute croak leaving her throat as she remained dumbstruck.

"I know you aren't a true Wind Eagle but I'm surprised that you would be so interested in venturing out into the world and leaving home. I know you say that you wouldn't go forever but you do sound like you mean to go for awhile," the huntress managed at last. "Do you think that the Valintar would let you leave to just explore other lands? If you volunteered for a trade route, I imagine you would have no problem finding permission but would you be able to do such a thing without a rider? Would Kaden allow you to do that?" Azira questioned tentatively, not sure how the shapeshifter would react. It wasn't her place to say how the Valintar might react to something and if the woman chose to leave the city then she would have to pursue a path of her own choice.

The girl continued to consider the casual near offer that Sira had made. She ran a hand through her hair, twisting and tangling it as she pondered her decision. If she truly could just up and leave Wind Reach, if someone said to her tomorrow that they would bring her away then would she do it? Would she abandon her entire way of life in order to experience the things she'd read about? Such a choice could have long-term repercussions and if she got an Endal to bring her to another city then she would be left there, effectively stranded, until she could get a ride home again. How strange would it be to move to a place where no one understood her native tongue, where no one looked like her and where she knew no one? The notion was both exciting and terrifying. When her dreams of travel had existed in the realm of fantasy, they hadn't been frightening but now that the Kelvic had said something that could shift them into the realm of possibility, she was no longer sure of what she wanted. She chewed vigorously on her lip, wondering what she would do if she really had the option to do what she talked about. Sira made it sound easy so perhaps it was as simple as asking an Endal to make everything happen.

"If I actually could leave Wind Reach, I mean, if someone was truly willing to bring me, I don't know how I would feel. I do not know if I would go or stay," she admitted, making ripples in the water as she dragged a finger through its surface. "I'm important to the city, I provide food for people so if I left, I would feel irresponsible. I don't know though. There are times I would happily leave the city and never come back. I would go out hunting and be glad to see the back of Wind Reach."

It was odd to admit such a thing and it left her feeling like she'd committed some sort of treachery to her people for saying it but it was indeed how she was somehow made to feel. She frowned down at the water, strongly contemplating leaving the warm waters, dressing and returning to her room where this woman couldn't extract any other opinions and experiences from her that made her feel guilty.
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Azira
Prodigal Daughter
 
Posts: 923
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Joined roleplay: August 31st, 2013, 3:43 pm
Location: Wind Reach
Race: Human, Inarta
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