Clay and Words

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The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.

Clay and Words

Postby Languish on November 5th, 2016, 8:34 pm

Very cute, Jake! The little "ta da" hand gesture when you were twirling for us made me laugh, too.

But I can't unsee gnome Link now. :confused: Thanks a lot.
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Languish
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Clay and Words

Postby Ball on November 12th, 2016, 4:38 pm

Welcome and thanks! heh.
Avatar CreditsMy lovely Avatar was drawn and created by the most awesome Nivel

Graders Please Note :
As Ball is getting closer and closer to maxing out Pyken as a skill, I would like to request that in places where Ball is not doing enough to constitute Pyken XP if Pyken technique lores could be issued instead.

Examples of proper XP level for Pyken would be: Ball developing or refining his technique by adding new thing against an actual moving target, not a dummy.

The use of basic skills alone are not enough to accomplish XP at Ball's current level of Pyken.

Thank you.

I will be handling all Ball related posts on Mondays @ 1800 my time *
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Ball
Ser Ball -- Pycon Knight of Syliras
 
Posts: 1328
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Joined roleplay: January 31st, 2012, 4:52 pm
Location: Syliras
Race: Pycon
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Medals: 6
Featured Contributor (1) Overlored (1)
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Clay and Words

Postby Ball on November 16th, 2016, 3:45 am

Image
Stress, Anger, Motivation, Health... And whatever else if on my mind...

Normally I am not one to go on and on about this kind of stuff, as it isn't important to the lot of people here and it doesn't truly impact how I thread or anything... But it does impact how I treat people in chat, as a CSL, and as a ST, as a player... Etc. And for that I need to let this stuff out.

I am going to start with one thing at a time and go on about for a bit, sorry ahead of time if I ramble too much and you guys get hit by a wall of stuff.

Stress :
As everyone knows, Stress is a part of life. It comes in a variety of forms-- good and bad -- and people react to it differently. I am not like most people I know that get crabby and annoyed when they get stressed. Or bottled up... No I get frustrated, annoyed, angry... Angry to the point that I am yelling and nearing violence when I shouldn't. I have never been good at dealing with stressors as a whole. Might be because I do not fully recognize the stressors and I need to improve that.

As a results I have been snarky at new players, chatters, my family, I think even at my work. If I am not snarky I am overly emotional and just want to cry and mope all the time. It isn't fun at all.
Anger :
I am prone to anger fairly easy. I am not sure if it is related entirely to my stress levels or if I am just always angry... But it gets elevated. No idea. But I have issues releasing it in healthy ways. I am not abusing my family or anything, but there are times where it feels like I might, I know I have an issue here and it isn't fair to anyone to deal with that from me. I know I have gotten angry with stupid things well in chat and things that have happened around Mizahar over the past year or so... And I shouldn't have.
Motivation :
This is one of those things that people think of when it comes to wanting to do something, anything. This is a big one for me. There have been a period of at least once a year for the past four years that I have played Ball where my muse/motivation has just... Died. Took a vacation. Pulled stakes... Etc. And it hasn't been easy to get it back. But it isn't just on Mizahar that this is occurring. I lack the /want/ to do what I use to do -- or dream to do -- lately. My life has been amazing lately. I am nearly thirty years old,I have a wonderful daughter and wife... Yet I can't keep motivation levels high to want to complete things I know I need to/want to complete.
Health :
I have a number of health issues. Not to bore everyone with the details but there is one major issue that I want to bring to light and I do this because it is a major organ and could be life threatening. My aorta is pretty craptastical. I was born three months early, at three weeks old I had a PDA (open heart surgery to fix something) and during the process they have hit my aorta and left me with a lovely bit of scar tissue and over the years my left subclavian has expanded and causing some issues. This expansion is called an anerysum. Luckily for me it is not a major concern yet it seems, but it is still a concern.

The idea of having a potential bursting artery (let alone the MAJOR artery of one's body) scares me to no end. I don't fear death, I just don't want to have to worry about that yet. I am in a good chapter in my life. Things are looking UP for me, something I rarely get to say... But that alone scares me and my wife.


I have been trying to combat some of these issues but things... They are slow to improve. Stress is still high, health still sucks, motivation is fleeting -- some days it is good, others it isn't, anger is always at boiling point.

My calendar has been insanely scattered, I have not even been able to keep up with my "pre-determined" Mizahar schedule... Which is not cool, I need the structure that I am so desperately trying to create. I use Google Calendar to track my wife's schedule, my daughter's schedule, My work and daily schedules. All our appointments, Bills, Pay Days, when our roommate is out of town. I have added task reminders to my calendar to try and get things done on time...

Hell I have even went to the extreme and added Bedtimes to my calendar. Commutes to and from work/daycare. Yeah... I do that. Looking at my weekday is a mess, I feel overwhelmed that I have no time to do me things, even my time I book for Mizahar is either not used to it's fullest potential, or I am not even doing it.

I think I am trying to do a ton of things and not getting anything done because I lack focus and again motivation... Any suggestions on how to regain that focus I crave and desire?

I use to do To-Do Lists, and the Calendar booking that I do now. The to-do list is kind of still there but they stopped working for me. I know I need to get XYZ done, but XYZ don't seem to ever get finished... I have been all over the Interwebs looking at things, Youtube, Books, I even tried to do my own things here and there... So far -nothing- is working anymore. >.< Maybe most of my issues (minus the health) is related to the desire to be structured and yet loose enough to do what I desire.


CreditGoes to Lisana for this beautiful post template
Avatar CreditsMy lovely Avatar was drawn and created by the most awesome Nivel

Graders Please Note :
As Ball is getting closer and closer to maxing out Pyken as a skill, I would like to request that in places where Ball is not doing enough to constitute Pyken XP if Pyken technique lores could be issued instead.

Examples of proper XP level for Pyken would be: Ball developing or refining his technique by adding new thing against an actual moving target, not a dummy.

The use of basic skills alone are not enough to accomplish XP at Ball's current level of Pyken.

Thank you.

I will be handling all Ball related posts on Mondays @ 1800 my time *
User avatar
Ball
Ser Ball -- Pycon Knight of Syliras
 
Posts: 1328
Words: 460648
Joined roleplay: January 31st, 2012, 4:52 pm
Location: Syliras
Race: Pycon
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 6
Featured Contributor (1) Overlored (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) NaNo Excuses Medal (1)
Mizahar Grader (1) Chat Mod (1)

Clay and Words

Postby Ball on May 2nd, 2017, 12:02 am

Avatar CreditsMy lovely Avatar was drawn and created by the most awesome Nivel

Graders Please Note :
As Ball is getting closer and closer to maxing out Pyken as a skill, I would like to request that in places where Ball is not doing enough to constitute Pyken XP if Pyken technique lores could be issued instead.

Examples of proper XP level for Pyken would be: Ball developing or refining his technique by adding new thing against an actual moving target, not a dummy.

The use of basic skills alone are not enough to accomplish XP at Ball's current level of Pyken.

Thank you.

I will be handling all Ball related posts on Mondays @ 1800 my time *
User avatar
Ball
Ser Ball -- Pycon Knight of Syliras
 
Posts: 1328
Words: 460648
Joined roleplay: January 31st, 2012, 4:52 pm
Location: Syliras
Race: Pycon
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 6
Featured Contributor (1) Overlored (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) NaNo Excuses Medal (1)
Mizahar Grader (1) Chat Mod (1)

Clay and Words

Postby Ball on May 8th, 2017, 4:30 am

The test failed, but that's okay. I will post something here tomorrw methinks.
Avatar CreditsMy lovely Avatar was drawn and created by the most awesome Nivel

Graders Please Note :
As Ball is getting closer and closer to maxing out Pyken as a skill, I would like to request that in places where Ball is not doing enough to constitute Pyken XP if Pyken technique lores could be issued instead.

Examples of proper XP level for Pyken would be: Ball developing or refining his technique by adding new thing against an actual moving target, not a dummy.

The use of basic skills alone are not enough to accomplish XP at Ball's current level of Pyken.

Thank you.

I will be handling all Ball related posts on Mondays @ 1800 my time *
User avatar
Ball
Ser Ball -- Pycon Knight of Syliras
 
Posts: 1328
Words: 460648
Joined roleplay: January 31st, 2012, 4:52 pm
Location: Syliras
Race: Pycon
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 6
Featured Contributor (1) Overlored (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) NaNo Excuses Medal (1)
Mizahar Grader (1) Chat Mod (1)

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