Closed [Travelers Row] Crying Love (Noah)

[Elann]

.

Elann watched out of the corner of her eye as Noah approached her and the babies. Each of them squirmed about, half hinting at the ability to crawl, yet failing to do so. She watched how he sat. The studious, almost cautious nature of him was taking over. That glaze into the animal was upon him. They however were not his prey. As much as he studied them he could never fully understand them.

"I don't want to talk about it--" she commented as he asked about the mother. Elann looked highly aggravated, if not mad. He had seen her pissy, frustrated, and even frazzled, but not mad. Really it wasn't true that she didn't want to speak about it, because not a moment later she opened up to him. "Garland has never asked anything from me. He's been a distant acquaintance who has always been very nice since I have arrived." She paused and then gestured around her apartment. "He helped me move in here you know? A very nice man...and this woman. I don't know her, but if I ever meet her, keep me from shooting a stone at her face."

Elann was a little spitfire when she was mad. The reason soon presented itself as she said, "...Abandoning her babies like this. Selfish woman," she said silently with venom. "I pray Yahal curses her for this unfaithfulness to her family...all to go drink and end up sleeping with whoever she wants. Poor Garland. Poor babies."

She scooped up Phobos from the blanket and supported his head as she held him in her arms. He was quite heavy for her, but she was determined to hold him at the moment. "I would never abandon my babies like that...Would I" she said in a cute voice to Phobos. "You are so cute we can't do that hmm?" she said in Shiber to the baby in her arms, which for some reason or another made him giggle a little. She then brought him up and pressed him to her shoulder and slung his legs around her so she was holding him on her side. Looking to Noah and his animalistic stare, she reached out with her free hand and grabbed his, rubbing it caringly. She let it linger a moment, as if reconnecting where they had left off the previous night.

In her heart, she longed to speak to him, to just be in his presence, but she had a baby in her arms. Looking briefly to Phobos in her arms, she asked him curiously, "Have you ever held a baby?" Had he even seen a baby? He stared at them like he never had been this close to them before, even in the orphanage when they went, which was possible considering how hectic that time was.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

[Noah Amuel]

Elann’s lips parted to shoot forth an answer straining with restrained contempt. It was surprising given that she was skipping mere moments ago. She stated that she didn’t want to talk about the mother, and Noah was very ready to drop the subject, as to not anger her more. Yet, Elann persisted with no egging of Noah’s own. She began opening up about Garland, how he didn’t ask anything of her, how he was a distant acquaintance. It was revealed to him that she knew the man for as long as she had known Noah now, but their relationship had not grown to the heights her and Noah’s had. It was also revealed that Garland was the one whom help Elann move into her apartment. She stated that he was a nice man and, based off what he was hearing, Noah agreed. However, the woman, the mother, wasn’t nice. Elann even went as far as to ask Noah to restrain her from harming the woman should they ever cross paths.

In wonder, Noah looked at her, discreet amusement playing in the back of his mind. It was a humorous thought, Elann harming someone. He knew that she was capable of doing such, but having the motivation to do as much didn’t appear to be in her little being. She was an adorable bundle of Benshiran nonsense there, to him. Still he listened, as he did when she spoke. In her anger Elann spat another insult to the unknown woman, calling her selfish, even wishing Yahal’s torment upon her. It was there that Noah wanted to reach out to her, to shush her, calm her. It wasn’t a good sight for him to see, for him to see her angry.

He withheld himself from doing so, instead focusing on Elann’s movements as she reached for the boy, Phobos. She confessed she would never abandon her children, asking the baby a question Noah hoped was rhetorical. Then Elann’s tone changed from contemptuous to playful. The inflection was even noticeable as she slipped from Common to Shiber seamlessly.

In his silent admiration of her handle with Phobos, she reached out to him, grasping ahold on his hand with her free one. It was a pleasant, yet small notion. The touch wasn’t quick, like their touches before, but it lingered long enough to be worthy of note. Noah returned the gesture, gently stroking Elann’s hand with his thumb. There was a silence too brief to savour, as the babbling of Aneeka on the rug continued, her doll being thrown about by her vainly waving arms. What exactly what she trying to do with that motion? he wondered. Elann’s voice came again from his side, asking a question Noah wasn’t guarded for.

He shook his head, humming in disagreement. He had not held a baby, not that he could remember in his few years of life. “I don’t think so,” he voiced in a mumble between his legs as he watched Aneeka curiously. He shifted his attention from the baby girl to Elann, turning his head to set his chin near their touching hands on his knee. “Why?” It was a genuine question asked in his calm voice.

[Elann]

.

"I was just wondering," She said softly. Watching his interaction with Aneeka, she wondered just what he was thinking and feeling. He held her hand, tingles running up her arm as he brushed over her skin. Phobos' doll seemed to drop down to her waist and roll down off her knees and she moved to let go of his hand.

As she felt it within her grasp, she discovered the reason why it had dropped so readily. The baby at her side had discovered her shiny new golden earring. With the strength of what she guessed was Garland himself, Phobos tugged at the object of his deepest desire. At first it didn't register, just a slight tickle of pain, and then an exploding volcano. A little squeal came from her like a siren as the earring was being pulled further and further away toward the open mouth of Phobos. She winced with a clenched jaw, closed her eyes, and rapidly forsook the doll in her hand. She reached up with motherly force and ripped the earring from his grabby hands.

"Oww! Noo..." she said in a scolding voice, having to bat away his other hand as well as he reached for it. With that, she moved to give him over to Noah. "Take him please." Her head tilted to the side, not as in an instance of curiosity, but rather to press her hurting ear against the bone of her shoulder. It stung, that was certain, and as she held out the baby underarm, she hoped he wouldn't hesitate. "Just under the arms like this."

She jiggled the baby at him, showing that holding under his arms was fine. It looked like Phobos was slowly melting downward toward the ground as she held him, his chubby baby body squished in her hands as she held him out for Noah. The romantic moment had passed, and all that was there now was pain.

If he took her, she would straighten out and pinch the lobe of her ear, sending opposite signals of pain to quell the sting there. Little winces passed over her face as she repetitively squeezed it. With a shake of her head, she sighed. "I suppose earrings are not the best thing to wear around babies." With that she pouted to him slightly as she reached up to take them off. Putting the stoppers on the backs of them, she pinched her ear again and then looked to him holding the baby.

"How are you doing there?" She curiously gauged his reactions, his emotions, and looked to see how he reacted to the movements of Phobos in his arms.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

[Noah Amuel]

Her answer came softly. It appeared that she was watching him, just as he had been watching Aneeka, and just as he had watched her many times before. He continued in his stroking of her hand, careful to not press too deep, to remain on the edge of comfortable feeling. There was enjoyment found in the soft touches they exchanged, for each touch would grow, he knew. They were on the stepping stones of development, slowly nudging their relationship higher and deeper. The bond they shared managed to bridge a gap that would normally be untraversed in a normal relationship, where both partners were ignorant of one another’s feelings until they were either spoken or apparent on the other’s face. Noah was ignorant of just how much the bond helped him to understand her.

His eyes fleeted from his bond mate’s face to the floor, following Phobos’ doll as it cascaded downward onto the floor. There was a whisper of a thud before the squeal of Elann ripped Noah’s eyes back to her. Frightful, he wondered what caused her to shout then there was a pain in the lobe of his ear, sudden and without warning. It dull in comparison to Elann’s on pain but it gave him an understanding of what was happening. The baby boy, Phobos, had attempted to rip Elann’s new earrings straight from her ear.

She acted quickly to defuse the situation, moving his hand away from her ear and scolding him in her pain laced voice. Discomfort filled the Kelvic as he wasn’t quite sure what to do in the situation. Then Elann moved to baby towards him, holding Phobos by the pits of his underarms. She asked Noah to take him, directing him how to hold the child. Noah hesitated at first, the edging of vocal protest trailing on his lips as he glanced to Elann then to the baby. Recognizing Elann’s pain further, he folded, reaching out to take the child from her hands.

Awkwardly he pulled the baby closer to him. Perplexedly he sauntered the child back and forth, unsure as to why the baby appeared to be slipping from its own body. Why was it so mushy and unable to support itself? Still squatting, he watched as Elann rose to tend to her ear, leaving him there with the melting Phobos. A look of discomfort etched itself on Noah’s face, overtaking his features. Phobos giggled in reply, taking the look as a form of entertainment. Truthfully Noah wasn’t liking the situation one bit. In fact, he held the baby as far away from him as possible as it seemingly began to slide from its clothing and Noah’s hands. In reaction he changed the position of his hands, placing one to cup Phobos by the bottom between his legs and keeping one hand under the baby’s pit.

Noah squinted at the child whose bright eyes, innocent and gleaming, unnerved him in the slightest way. Phobos put one of his hands in his mouth, opening a tap of drool that began to dribble down his fat, little chin. The Kelvic’s mouth twisted in disdain as he muttered an ‘ew.’ Elann’s voice came again, asking how he was doing with the baby.

“I,” he hesitated, making sure of his answer. “I don’t like it,” he confessed. “It’s drooling and feels weird.” Then Phobos wriggled towards the way Noah wasn’t supporting him from, his head flailed in the direction over taking his chubby body. The movement caused Noah to lurch, aiming to stabilize the unstable child. “It won’t stop squirming.”

[Elann]

.

It hadn't even occurred to her that Noah would feel the pain she felt. Frankly it was the last thing on her mind. Only the quelling of the stinging sensation in her ear overflowed within her. Finally free of the baby she removed the peg and dealt with the beautiful earrings. As saddened as she was by having to take them off, his holding of the baby like a gift one would offer to another person, made her laugh slightly.

"Babies do that Noah!" she said quietly yet with a laugh. "You are strong, don't let him fall." Of course hearing that the baby was drooling, she set her earrings down on the table and took a small cloth with her over to where he was and sat down next to Noah. "If he's drooling, you have to wipe it away...Try holding him like I did."

Reaching out, she picked up Aneeka, who for some reason was really excited to be picked up. "You have to support their head a little bit like this. They are pretty good at it it seems, but I like to do it if I'm moving them around." She swung Aneeka to her hip, showing him how he could position Phobos on his own. "Like this, see? Then you can have a hand free to wipe that away."

Once he positioned Phobos, she handed him the cloth. "Just gently wipe it away." She watched curiously, seeing how he handled the little one. It was clear to her that he was nervous. Even she was nervous so she didn't exactly hold it against him. Aneeka was trying to get at her breasts, which she still didn't understand since they had been fed with the drinking horn for who knew how long. Elann swooped in a finger to prevent the little one from yanking down her fur trimmed winter outfit.

"This was probably not what you had in mind tonight, hmm?"

She took in a stressed breath, looking to him with eyes that spoke more than just a simple look. On one hand she felt really bad for having him suffer at the moment. She also knew that this evening had likely gone a whole other way in his mind before showing up. The gifts indicated that; but also in her eyes was a hint of admiration. He was being a good sport. He hadn't cast the baby down to the ground yet, and in her eyes and heart, there was a bit of love for him there. To her it seemed quite manly to take care of a child, wiping away its helpless drooling. It was very fatherly, and out of longing for her own, she looked down to the baby in her arms.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

[Noah Amuel]

Noah heard Elann’s laugh as he fought to keep Phobos upright. It wasn’t an easy task given that Phobos thought his falling was a game for fun, not a matter of Noah preventing him from injuring himself on the hard floor of Elann’s apartment. Her voice came again telling him to try and hold Phobos how she previously held him. She came back to the rug and reached for Aneeka, picking the baby girl up easily. Noah stood from his squat, rising with Phobos still outstretched in his hands.

Carefully he watched as Elann explained what she was doing, swinging Aneeka to be perched upon her hip. Noah nodded and did the same, shifting Phobos to rest on the bone of his own hip. Instinctually Phobos grabbed at Noah’s back, gripping at his overtunic’s cloth tightly. The baby boy’s other hand was still in his mouth, steadying the flow of drool as he happily giggled in his mess. Elann extended her free hand to Noah, reaching to give him a cloth. The Kelvic took it then looked at Phobos, grimacing slightly as he went to wipe the drool. With a finger he pushed Phobos’ hand out of his mouth. “Don’t do that,” he scolded quietly, unsure if the baby would actually heed his words. It seemed that it did, waving its slobber covered hand in the air.

Noah then swiped the cloth across Phobos chin, cheeks, and lips, ridding them of the thick drool. Another face of disgust came to the inexperienced man, yet inside he was relieved of the drool being gone. Phobos met Noah’s eyes, sharing a look between the two boys for a moment before Elann spoke. “No,” he replied truthfully, turning to look at her, “it wasn’t.” He balled the cloth up into his hand then hoisted Phobos back onto his hip as the baby had begun to slip. “But it’s okay.” He aimed to reassure her if there were doubts in her mind about his attitude. It was true that he didn’t expect to be babysitter when he came to Elann’s. Although, he didn’t exactly know what to expect, it just wasn’t this. “He’s just… not as cute anymore.”

[Elann]

.

Fortunately for Noah, the babies had yet to go to the bathroom, something given his current state likely wouldn't be a good thing. Still, he was maintaining himself with Phobos in his arms. The spit had been wiped away and Phobos was back to his inquisitive giggly self. She let out a stressed breath at his words and nodded.

"It get's worse to be honest...but it's not like there isn't reward in them. I imagine the first time your mom held her oldest born baby she didn't really know what to do. It's no fun to have a screaming child, throwing up and going to the bathroom all the time, but it's a creation of your own. I think that's why people love their children." She looked down at Aneeka and then back to Noah. "They may not be mine, but I'll love them like they are while they are here, just as I would any baby or child in the orphanage. Who else do they have?"

With that she bit her lip in the same fashion she did when he had evaluated her look with the earrings. It was a look of nervousness, even if he did reassure her that it was okay. "Maybe you should come down here with him and maybe play a little?" She reached out for the doll and held it low for him so if he sat with the baby he could just take it from her.

"I went to speak to Morian today." She lightly rubbed her hand's over Aneeka's back. "He seemed to agree with what I already thought of Yahal, that..." she seemed to become slightly shy on the subject and continued, "...that as long as I'm seeking Purity and Righteousness, I shouldn't offend him in what we are doing. He seemed to think...well...that you and I could be a good thing." Though she didn't specifically bring up Noah to Morian. "I was wondering...you still do feel like...this?" Maybe it was all just a momentary feeling he had, maybe his words of commitment to her were just words. She didn't think that of him, but she wanted to re-ask to make sure, not because she doubted him, but because she wanted to switch the topic from the babies in their arms to what they had intended to talk about.

If he did sit, she would brace Aneeka and move right up next to him, sitting on her hind with her legs out to the side of her and Aneeka on her hip; bouncing slightly.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

[Noah Amuel]

Elann’s stressed breath echoed in canals of Noah’s ears. He observed her nod and listened to her confession that babies only got worse. What more could there be? he wondered, glancing to Phobos in what appeared to be a warning. Elann’s words took a turn, however it was unexpected. She further stated that while children, babies in particular, were hard to deal with, they were an apparent blessing to the mothers who bore them. He recalled his own mother, Isabella, how she seemed quite adept at taking care of him in his earlier youth. It never occurred to him that she too didn’t know what she was doing at one point as well. Considering he had four older siblings, his mother had a lot of practice before he entered the world, making her parenting appear seamless in execution.

Elann said that while the children, Phobos and Aneeka, weren’t hers, she would love them as if they were as long as they were within her care. Her words begat the question of just how long was she planning to take care of them and how long would Noah have to endure their drooling and mushy bodies and wobbly heads? The question was never voiced. Elann’s lip bite had deterred him from asking. When her lips parted again, Noah listened, eyes trained on her in her what appeared to be tense state. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she spoke first.

Noah did as she suggested, taking the toy from her as he brushed past to sit back on the rug with Phobos. As he dropped down into a crosslegged position, he placed Phobos on his back in front of him. Elann spoke of Morian and her conversation with him. While she spoke Noah danced the doll above Phobos who cooed and attempted to grasp at the cloth figure. Playfully Noah didn’t allow him to grab the doll, eluding his touch with steady, swerving movements. The tenseness of her voice seemingly faded softly into another tone Noah could not decipher. Yet, to him, her words seemed to be in good news, especially when she said that Morian believe the two of them together, as an item, could be a good thing for Elann or her devoutness. It was all in good news until her voice became hinted with the slightest sense of uncertainty.

She voiced her concern of his feelings for her, wondering if he still felt the same as yesterday. His face showed his feelings of confusion - it was doubtful that she could see it, considering he was facing down at Phobos. He, himself, wondered why she would even ask such a question. Did she doubt his feelings so? If Morian believed them to be a good thing together - she seemed to trust his counsel - then why was she doubting? Noah exhaled from his nostrils, strained and it was probably obvious to her sensing.

He didn’t expect her to sit beside him, but when she did, once she had settled, he looked to her briefly out of the corner of his eyes. “You wound me by asking that question,” he informed. “I do feel the same as last night.” He looked to her then. “Do you not?” Phobos snatched the doll from his hands but the Kelvic paid it no mind. His sights were on Elann now, focus on her next words. He was not irritated by her question as much as it had hurt and disheartened from being there at that time.

[Elann]

.

It was good to see Noah playing with Phobos as he came to sit down. There was a bit of playfulness to him as he did, taunting the little boy with the doll. It was entertaining to her to see the little pudgy fingers of the baby reaching for it with determination, even so much so as to attempt to bend his body slightly to try to reach it. He naturally failed. Failed to keep up with the swift coordinated moves of Noah who had years of experience on him and learning how to move.

That joy passed as she had brought up what was on her mind. Why had it even come out? Her heart hurt as soon as Noah's mind heard her words. Even before he spoke out saying she wounded him with them, she could tell. Elann was not the brightest and often spoke a bit too quick for her own good, but he had said to reveal what she was feeling didn't he? "Noah..." she said sweetly to him, "Of course I do..." She looked down to his hand, how it danced with the doll and had come to a stop, causing the toy to be yanked finally free from his hands. She then tossed her hair back behind her back, giving him a serious look as she reached out with her right hand to take his in hers. It was then that she brought it up to her lips, giving it a light kiss and guiding the back of his hand to rest on her cheek to which she brushed lightly up against it with her skin.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't doubt that you did love me. Not for a second did I think that after hearing that it was okay for us to be married in the sight of Yahal that you'd change your mind. I know you wouldn't do that. I guess I said it because...I'd understand if you wanted to." She looked down. "I don't have a family to give dowry, I have friends who dump babies on my doorstep, and I'm highly emotional..." she chuckled slightly. It was true, and obvious between them. "Maybe it is just me who wouldn't want to marry me if I had a choice, and I just needed to hear you say you love me again and what compelled you to choose someone as...broken as me," she said with a somewhat saddened sarcastic tone, as if she knew she was broken; as if the term applied to every aspect of her. She then looked up to him pleadingly. Her insecurities, the stress of losing her family, the emotions that were bred anew in her; it all meant she needed his affirmation of love. He had given it, but as she looked to him, it was clear she wanted to be comforted by her object of desire, which had become him.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

[Noah Amuel]

He heeded her words, allowing his hand to be taken by her, to be graced by her lips, to be placed upon the softness of her face. She stated that she did not mean to hurt his feelings with her words, and instantly he forgave, face softening in intensity. She informed him that she knew he wouldn’t abandon his previous confession at her mention of marriage under Yahal, yet it didn’t explain why she asked the question to begin with. Yahal was a god that Noah knew very little of and he had not began to learn of the god. He simply understood the importance of the deity in Elann’s life, in her heart and soul. If she needed her god’s presence and rules to marry him, then so be it.

She looked down before listing reasons for why she thought Noah would change his mind: she had no family to give a dowry to pay for the marriage, friends like Garland who dropped babies in her care, and she was melodramatic at times. She laughed afterwards, however, it was not shared by Noah. He sat stonefaced, truly trying to understand the words she was saying. They, her words, finally explained why she had posed the question to him. It saddened him to hear her put herself down in a way he thought unnecessary. It was revealed then that her self-confidence wasn’t on the level he once thought it was.

Noah grew up in house with three women and three men, not counting him. Each of those people were Kelvics of predatory nature, forcing them to be confident in their stride for if they faltered it usually meant they did not acquire what they sought. Be what they sought prey or a goal, the premise remained the same. The women of his family were just as fierce as their male counterparts, but they were also the calmer of the bunch, more calculated than the men at first. They were invaluable on a family hunt, where the pack prowled the forested hills of Zeltiva. He tried to view Elann in the same light. Where he had once succeeded to do so, now he failed. His opinion of her strength changed as she called her broken.

He frowned. “Don’t do that,” he said in the same tone to her as he did to Phobos moments ago. “Don’t list reasons for me to not love you, because they will not work. When my mother and father married, my mother had no family, no one to give my father a dowry for their marriage. I do not care that you have friends who ask you sit their babies, I do not care that you have no family to give me the coin needed to host a wedding. If you so desire an expensive wedding, then there will be an expensive wedding. I don’t need coin from a man, from a family, that probably wouldn’t have liked me in the first place.”

His scolding drifted as he turned his palm towards her face, grasping it as he did the night before. “You told me to write to my family about love. When I write them I will write of love, my love for you, my love for them.” He turned to her, a slight sternness returning to his voice. “Why do you believe yourself to be broken? What has made you think so?”