Mixed Blessing

by **Naiya** on July 28th, 2016, 3:49 am

Her mind raced and a steady flow of tears marked paths down her cheeks despite her desire to chase them away. Don't worry, don't worry. The words echoed in her mind, not a reassurance but rather a hollow chant.

How could she do anything but worry? The two people in her life that were supposed to be here for such an event were missing, gone across the ocean. They weren't here, to share the celebrations that should take place, to help when she grew too large to risk such things as hunting alone. She felt her chest grow tight, her breath straining to fill her lungs.

Don't worry. A wuepa to raise in the grass with no father, no uncles, just her, a mother who couldn't even hunt. She was a failure as a Drykas, chosen by a strider but as useless as a walahk. She pressed hair back from her face, trying to chase the thoughts away with her pressure of her palms.

Don't worry. Seirei was pregnant, with twins again if the size of her belly was any indication. She wouldn't be able to carry the weight of a pavilion when she herself could not, especially not with four children to watch over.

Don't worry, but how could she not? How could she have ever expected to be a mother? She was a child in a woman's clothes, not prepared for the responsibility of a family of adults, let alone children.

The exam. A beacon on the chaos of her mind. Perhaps Waisana was wrong, perhaps her symptoms could be attributed to something else. She stepped out of her pants, slipped off her top, both falling into a pile on the ground. Her tears stopped, the possibility of not helping her to calm.

She missed the switch in the woman from comforting friend to distant professional, but she had little concern for the change. Her mind was lost to doubt, to hope against the doctor's diagnosis. She prodded at her breasts, checking for what signs Naiya could hardly tell. Then she moved to her stomach, again prodding and poking to see what she could learn. When she had garnered what information those could share, she moved on. Naiya could feel the warm tracks of tears drying on her cheeks.

The woman checked between her legs, looking for confirmation one way or the other. It felt like waiting for a sentence, a punishment from a parent, knowing you needed the outcome, but dreading what the answer might be. The woman stood again, her mind detached from the world around her.

Dress she had told her, and Naiya did, her body moving through the motions without thought. She waited, hollow but for the worry that shaped her body.

"A wuepa." Naiya repeated, the word shaped with disbelief and signed slowly, heavy with sorrow. Her eyes blurred, and Naiya bit her lip, trying to prevent the overflow.

Heat filled her cheeks, and her breath caught in her throat. How could she take care of a child, she could barely take care of a pavilion of adults. She had so little time to get ready, two seasons her hands shook, the signs rough with emotion.

She gasped, drowning in emotion, drowning in silent tears that sent burning trails down her cheeks. She could hardly see trough her tears, so Waisana's reaching for her came as a surprise. The firm support and comfort the final straw, her strength failing her as her body shook and she wept.

-----------

Naiya space Pavi | Common | Tukant
other space Pavi | Common | Tukant

by **Waisana** on August 4th, 2016, 8:26 pm

It had not been difficult to predict how ill-fated this news was and how poorly it would be received. The woman seemed to crumble into herself slowly as Waisana looked on, only able to offer her the most basic comfort of being here for her. Her body showed the mental strain more and more, heading towards the inevitable snap and the doctor waited patiently for it to come, her form radiating sympathy as she awaited the need to arise. When she held her hands out to the other it seemed to push her over the edge and the facade of strength finally came toppling down. With it, the last barrier to Waisana's care fell and she rose, moving closer to her to draw her into an embrace. With Naiya sitting and Waisana standing, the other's head came up to just below the doctor's bust and as the blonde stood at her side, leaning in closer to wrap her arms around the other's shoulders, Naiya's head would have the opportunity to lean against the soft, yielding flesh. For a girl who had never been a mother, it was a very maternal gesture as if cradling a young one to her breast. If the other posed no resistance and offered no protest then the doctor would allow one hand to rub the top of the hunter's back in soft, rhythmic circles as she spoke, her communication hampered without her hands.

"Naiya. Naiya, it is all right. Do not worry," she crooned, her voice dropping in timbre as she tried to comfort the other woman. "You are not alone. There is always a way. Do not worry. A wuepa does not need a father, a mother is enough. You know how to care for others. You mind Seirei, her babies, the livestock, the pavilion. You are both mother and father and you are enough. You will have help but you have enough love for it alone. It will have Seirei's children as playmates. They are close in age and will be happy," she reassured her.

The teen began to hum softly, a lullaby that was soothing but might make the situation worse with its kindness and its connection to infants. After humming for a few moments to allow her voice to warm up, Waisana started to sing quietly, closing her eyes to the sweetness of recollection.

"The wind blows,
The grasses stir,
A Trewal neighs softly.

Little wuepa,
Close your eyes
Maisa is here.

Leth looks down,
Semele is your cradle,
Semekhe are you.

Be quiet,
Little one,
Do not lose temper.

Go to sleep,
Settle down,
For the long night has come."

The girl continued to hum the melody for a few moments more before she allowed some of her professionalism to seep in, hoping that the hunter would have calmed down enough now to press on to other matters.

"Is there anything you would know?" Her hand itched to frame ask but she suppressed it, deeming it for the best if she didn't move her hands just yet. Better to move them only when the need arose or when Naiya made it clear that she didn't want them near her anymore. When the other was ready, Waisana would discuss practical matters like what she was to expect from her pregnancy and how to get by when she could not hunt. At a certain point, she would not be able to go out like that and then after she had the baby, she could not risk bringing the child with her when it needed feeding. The doctor had some ideas although she would need to run them past the other woman first and see what she thought. Small steps now though, no need to rush her.

by **Naiya** on August 5th, 2016, 12:51 am

Weakness prevailed as the words sunk in, her heart breaking for the child she would bear. Waisana moved to wrap her arms around her, offering her the embrace of a mother. She had no strength left to protest the comfort offered by the woman, instead resting her head against the woman until her tears stopped.

Still she lingered, the soft humming a thrum of kindness against her skin. She straightened slowly, heartfelt gratitude shaping her body even as apology shaped her hands.

She dried her eyes on the hem of her shirt, trying to bring her mind to think of useful things, rather than her lacking. A wuepa, pregnancy. This was what she needed to focus on. Wuepa, me, do what her hands shaped the words with the slant of inquiry her voice not ready to bring forward the words again.

What things did Seirei do? Was there anything special? Herbs to take? Things to protect the child?

Wuepa needs... inquiry, needs now inquiry. She wanted to be sure she took proper care. She didn't want to lose the child, she had heard of such things happening. She wanted the weupa to be healthy, to be safe. Her voice came to her, finally, cracked by the force of her tears.

"What do I do now?"

-----------

Naiya space Pavi | Common | Tukant
other space Pavi | Common | Tukant

by **Waisana** on September 2nd, 2016, 11:01 pm

The teen allowed Naiya to spill out her grief, giving her time to seek all the comfort she needed rather than trying to rush her. Even when the sobbing stopped, she didn't attempt to move her but just let her lie in peace against her breast. When the hunter finally raised her head, the doctor was sorry to see that the woman felt the need to apologise. An exasperated expression crossed Waisana's face but she signed, no worries, and smiled wanly. The hunter signed to her, trying to shape questions that she didn't fully understand; she didn't yet know what answers she sought. It was a matter of allowing her the time to stop and think things through and get everything straight in her head rather than simply jumping in and befuddling her further. The gist seemed to be the same however, even when she verbalised her question in a more coherent manner. It was not an easily answered question and so she didn't rush to respond.

Waisana urged patience, no interruptions before she ticked off things in her mind and then slowly began her explanation, taking her time to ensure that everything was sufficiently understood although the woman could always ask her to clarify things.

"To look after the wuepa, you must look after yourself," she began sagely. "Staying healthy is easy." Eat well. Drink plenty. Exercise. "You can carry on in much the same way you do now. You can still hunt but..." No risks. Injuries could be the end. Fall. Wuepa gone. Take care.

She considered the matter carefully, determining what she could say to Naiya that would be important to her case specifically. There were things that the hunter had been doing, habits she'd allowed herself to slip into that were potentially harmful. She had taken too much stress upon herself and she had been going hungry so that Seirei and her babies would not have to go without or with too little food.

"You must eat. You must get enough to eat. If you must hunt then hunt with others so you are safe. If you must, fatten and kill one of your livestock. Find someone who knows how to make it keep. Meat is kept with salt, I think. If you must go very far from Endrykas to hunt then do not." Forage. Trade for food. Work for another. "There are ways, you can do it. You must try to take away strain. Do not take so much on yourself. I know you are Ankal or close but you must delegate. Find ways to give work to others, trade favours. It is hard for many but find someone who will help. It is possible. Drykas help Drykas."

She held her hand out to the woman, offering her it to take. Eat. No stress. Stay fit. "It is the least you can do. If you do this then you have done much of what is needed. As time goes on, your body will change and then you must endure. Remember that you will not be alone."

by **Naiya** on October 4th, 2016, 9:33 pm

She waited with urgent anticipation despite the woman's urging towards patience. She couldn't wrap her mind around calm when desperation had been the driving force through the last seasons. So she waited as close to patient as she could manage, hanging on to the words of the other.

Resoundingly her answer was be healthy, something Naiya had not quite neglected, but had put aside for others, to help their pavilion prosper as best it could. She'd had no options, no choice. She'd barreled down the first path she found like a filly bolting at the booming crash of Zulrav's fury. She had been blinded, she realized, unable to see options beyond the headlong gallop that had chased away the lingering sorrow of Shahar's absence from her.

Be healthy, yes, she agreed with the woman, hesitance shaping the signs. Do better she promised, her mind and body pulled from the rush of terror by Waisana's soothing voice. Trade. Work with others. Butcher a zibri. She could trade clothing for food as she often traded sewing work for cloth.

She had options, as Waisana gently reminded her, despite having taken all the burden onto herself. What reckless abandon she had charged into, fighting against her self in her attempt to save her family.

"Less stress," with wuepa, inquiry. Her voice broke into a humorless laugh, but she nodded acceptance shaping her body. "Is there more?" inquiry.

-----------

Naiya space Pavi | Common | Tukant
other space Pavi | Common | Tukant

by **Waisana** on November 7th, 2016, 10:56 pm

The anxiety emanating from the woman was worrying but the doctor wasn't sure that what she had to say was particularly comforting. It probably wasn't what Naiya wanted to hear, especially if it meant that she'd somehow been in the wrong by making her pavilion top priority. However, Waisana knew it wasn't something she could afford to sugarcoat; the huntress needed to accept the importance of her own welfare. It was solid advice and much as she might dislike it, it was what she knew Naiya needed to hear. She expected the woman to put up some sort of resistance, denying that she needed to make such changes. She imagined that it would be difficult to convince her that she needed to prioritise herself and her child.

A relieved smile spread across her lips at the woman's answer. She hadn't anticipated her taking it so well and the fact she was agreeing was a good sign. It meant that she wouldn't be required to almost bully the woman into taking care of herself; she was willing to behave herself and that made life easier for both of them. Naiya didn't appear entirely convinced of what she was saying but it was understandable. It was a lot to take in, especially as the huntress had been unable to cope with her predicament in any other way besides practically starving herself. Attempting to keep a pavilion afloat in her present state while being the sole breadwinner was not an enviable position. Life on the Sea of Grass but no Drykas would willfully abandon one of their brethren in their time of need. No one would cruel enough to permit the young matron to go out hunting right up until her delivery, particularly if she asked for aid. It was not the done thing for a Drykas to live an idle life, however, this was not a case of laziness but rather of necessity.

The Opal girl smiled humourlessly when Naiya laughed, silently agreeing with the sentiment behind her words. However, she did not allow her private thoughts to permeate her outward manner or her speech. Instead, the blonde became briefly thoughtful, showing that she was pleased with the other's acquiescence. She reviewed what she'd told the huntress thus far and considered if there was any other health advice she could give her. The doctor did decide to tell her about the physical effects she was likely to endure soon so that the other would have some warning. It wouldn't be good to have her panicking and believing something had gone wrong when her symptoms were to be expected. It might frighten her to know but it was best for her to be forewarned.

"Follow what I have told you and it will be fine." Obey. For the best. "However, there is more to tell you. You must learn what is ahead for you," she explained. The blonde crossed her legs and held her hands together loosely on top of her knee. "Your body will change." Pain. Strange. "Your body will prepare for a baby." For birthing. Afterwards. "Your breasts will change and become ready for milk before the baby comes. Things must stretch. Your body will not seem like your body anymore." Dizziness, swelling, aching, leaking, oozing, shifting within. "Soon, you will probably feel movement inside. The wuepa will move and you will know it from an early time. The movement is the 'quickening'. That is how you will learn to love it long before you see it."

The teen nodded to herself, her hands forming shapes signifying knowing. She uncrossed her legs and crossed them back over the opposite way, her hands settling briefly on top once more. "It will let you know it's there and sometimes it will cause issue." Blood. Moon blood, but little. "If you have much blood then find a doctor. It may be... baby is trying to... escape. Come and we will help you." She didn't want to spell out the possibility of a miscarriage any more clearly than that. She didn't want to frighten the other by making her think that any sign of blood meant that she was losing the baby. If she asked her directly then Waisana would not lie but she was not going to volunteer the information freely.

by **Naiya** on February 12th, 2017, 8:12 pm

She felt, gutted, hollow. She'd been her own enemy in the past seasons, torn so greatly into the role of protector she had lost sight of her people, of the community that was the reason their city existed.

She had left friends aside, not seeking help, not allowing herself to count on the community and family she had built. She had noticed nothing but her own struggle ignored everything in her desperation. Still, she was failing, and now she had a child growing in her belly. A child who would depend on her not making such stupid mistakes.

Body change... vague, familiar Her hands shaped, mind recalling the various pregnancies of the Nightsong wives. She nodded along, following the words with care but still shocked beyond true comprehension. She would have to do better, seek others, step out of the isolation she had formed around herself. She nodded her head along to her thoughts. Eyes coming back to true focus for perhaps the first time since Waisana had spoken of a wuepa.

She met the gaze of the other with a fair bit more clarity, but unable to shake the weight of the news from the storming depths of her features.

"Thank you." The words couldn't encompass the intensity with which she felt them, they were small, asinine by comparison. She would have more questions, but now she had a base, a place to start. Seirei could help, she knew a great deal about children.

Naiya would make this work. She had to.

-----------

Naiya space Pavi | Common | Tukant
other space Pavi | Common | Tukant

by **Rufio** on March 10th, 2017, 9:39 am

C A T 'S G O T Y A G R A D E

N A I Y A

Click :

W A I S A N A

Click :

If you feel I missed anything shoot me a PM.
Don't forget to edit your grade request here -