Completed A Proposition By Moonlight

Jaelis tries to talk Tazrae into something he considers important.

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Syka is a new settlement of primarily humans on the east coast of Falyndar opposite of Riverfall on The Suvan Sea. [Syka Codex]

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A Proposition By Moonlight

Postby Tazrae on November 21st, 2022, 12:51 am

Timestamp: 84th of Fall, 522 A.V.


Tazrae tossed and turned, not exactly seeking sleep as she usually did, but caught in a dream she couldn’t escape. Taz rarely visited Nysel’s realm. When she did, her dreams were vivid and she often remembered them. At times she was her human self, and at other times she was an Ixam. When dreams caught her and she was tossed back to that horrible lost year, sometimes she even experienced the things she’d experienced there without her emotions dampened. And that’s when she woke up screaming.

Sometimes Tazrae screamed so much that she had no voice the next day, caught in the horror that was that entrapment on repeat day in and day out until they got exactly what they wanted from her. She dreamed of Kaysen too, often and frantically. They were usually dreams of frantic searching. She’d lost something and tore The Protea apart looking for whatever it was. Sometimes she was in Reclaimed Knowledge, and that too was ransacked by her own hands as she searched.

She’d always wake the same way, in a cold sweat, panting, her hands clasping the covers forming claws to defend herself with.

Taz would then take a deep breath, inhale deeply, rise slowly and walk to calm herself. A run down the beach often did her wonders, but with Khari here, Taz couldn’t jog with the baby. So instead, she wrapped her up in her baby wrap and set off barefoot along the waterline at a sedate walk rather than a run. She’d let the sea wash over her bare feet, pulling at her and the sand as if to lure her out to sea. She never gave in to the temptation but stood firm upon the land.

The twins had laid waste to her figure, though she’d taken great pains to rub cream into her stretched skin and give it all the help she could so they left no lasting marks. It was a miracle she’d given birth to them naturally, though evidently, it was a trend for the women of her family. And slowly, over time, she was getting her figure back. She owed her Ranger Duty to that, she supposed, though good food and lots of exercises helped.

Taz had lost that lonely feeling she’d been plagued with all the way through last season. She supposed the imprisonment In the Dominion had a big help in that. It was slowly starting to not matter that there were certain people that left big gaps in her life. As she walked, she realized she had others that were slowly filling in, including the small infant, tucked up against her. Even Kamrae had a place in her heart now, even if she was still almost a stranger. Jaelis had become a friend too, popping into her life at a time when she’d really needed someone to step up for her. He had, without complaint, and had kept showing up repeatedly just when she needed him the most.

As usual, several Ixam trailed her. They were a family of sorts too, keeping her company and filling her life with excitement. The juveniles played in the surf in her wake, chasing each other’s tails, and grabbing at sticks in the high tide line, fighting over them and wrestling. Their antics made Tazrae smile. Bree and Isikai were off somewhere, doing who knows what – possibly hunting – in the early morning hours. Taz didn’t mind.
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"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
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Tazrae
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A Proposition By Moonlight

Postby Tazrae on November 21st, 2022, 12:54 am

Speaking of Jaelis, a white form passed above her just then, back winged, and landed on the beach in front of her. In a swirl of lights, the enormous white eagle became a man who stood up straight and walked towards her. Taz didn’t mind that he didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. Kelvics were Kelvics and this was Syka. She only wore a crochet bikini and a light wrap around her waist. Khari was warm against her chest as was the cloth that bound the baby to her. Jaelis stopped in front of her, tilted his head, and looked curiously at her.

“You’ve been in Nysel’s realm again.” He stated it like it was a fact.

Taz only nodded. “I went back to the lost year. I went back and relived some of that.” She added, brushing a curl out of her face as she met Jaelis’ gaze. “Why do I keep doing that? I never dreamed this intensely before.” She insisted, her voice holding a slight echo of desperation. “When I studied the monsters, I had dreams of them, but I knew in my heart while the dreams were happening, that they were just dreams. Now though, these feel very real. I can’t separate the memories from the dreams at times.” Tazrae confessed to the Kelvic.

“It’s the Gods. It’s always the Gods.” He said sadly, shaking his head. “Nysel probably owes one a favor or is collecting an owed favor by sending you back there again and again. You are missing something or they are wanting something from you… something you won’t give without a push.” He added, his eyes flashing red in the darkness. “What are you feeling when you go back?” He asked, intense as always, the young Kelvic wasn’t going to drop it.

“I feel… alone, so desperately alone. Even when they blindfolded me and that man came… I was alone. I felt like everything was so out of my control, so helpless, and I wanted my life back.” She said softly. “But I didn’t know how to get my life back. I didn’t feel the want hard enough. I … they had a device on me that dampened my emotions.” She explained. “So, all that… was deep inside and not at the surface level where I’m used to feeling things. On the surface level, I didn’t care. I let them do whatever they wanted to do. Even though deep down I was screaming.” She added, trembling because it was something she could do now but couldn’t at that time.

“It felt like slavery.” She admitted, closing her eyes briefly. “And to find out he was my sister’s husband. And that he’s a good man, doing something terrible… for reasons I don’t understand. I want to hate him. But I want to understand as well. It’s… all a lot. And I can’t even… I can’t even put myself out there for others here right now. I feel like everyone takes things from me, but no one gives. No one… makes me feel like I am enough. I want to be enough… to someone.” She confessed softly.
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"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
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Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
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A Proposition By Moonlight

Postby Tazrae on November 21st, 2022, 12:55 am

“And here, you have no one to share that with. No one to talk to about this experience. Here you are still alone.” The Kelvic said, reaching out a hand and stroking her cheek. “I am sorry for that. I really am. We are but strangers who just met. And you tell me such deep things. I’m not sure why you do so.” He added, tossing his white hair and looking troubled.

“The baby should bring you comfort, no matter how you acquired her. There will be another as well, right? Her brother?” The Kelvic asked, curious. “And you should take comfort in the fact that their father is a good man, even if he did terrible things. Hopefully, he will have your son, and have him safe.” Jaelis added.

Taz nodded slowly. “When I get Kaysen back., I won’t ever let him go.” She said firmly, something hard and sharp clamping her heart. Blinking she glanced back over at Jaelis.

Jaelis smiled in response. “I like that… not if, but when. Yes, when you get him back.” He added, then seemed to dig deep, swallow, and tell her something else. “Has anyone offered to help?” He asked, curious.

Taz shook her head. “There’s nothing anyone can do. It's all up to his father and how the clan dealt with Sran’tuka. It happened… so far from here in a place I cannot touch unless I leave everything here and take a boat south. And then there’s Khari. She needs safety and security. It's tearing me apart leaving one to protect another.” Taz said softly, blinking back tears. “But it’s the choice I have to make. I cannot be two things at once. I cannot be in two places at once. I have to believe, in my heart, things happen for a reason and this will all work out. My sister… my sister said to trust her husband.” Taz said, still hating to repeat that yet being forced to do so.

Jaelis nodded. “Taz, if you need help… I will help. I will do anything I can do to get that baby back to you.” He said firmly. “If no one else will. I will.” He said again, causing Tazrae to tear up.

She walked over to him, bent sideways to accommodate Khari tucked against her breasts, and hugged him tightly pulling him into her side. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. It was a contact she really needed and so she held him close for a long moment, enjoying it.

“Thank you Jaelis. If there’s anything you can do, I will let you know. I promise.” She added, his words meaning the world to her. She turned her head, brushed a kiss across his cheek, and gave him a bright smile.

Jaelis returned the kiss, nuzzling Tazrae’s cheek, and dropped his head to brush his lips across Khari’s head too. “She’s got your curls.” He said, blinking in surprise, then laughing abruptly. “Of course she does.” Then he grinned and looked at her before he continued with his initial thought.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
Location: Syka
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A Proposition By Moonlight

Postby Tazrae on November 21st, 2022, 12:57 am

“I need a favor from you. And it’s a big one.” He said thoughtfully. The hesitancy in his voice gave Tazrae pause.

She studied Jaelis intently and frowned, not in worry, but in the fact that he was hesitating so much. “What is it?” She asked, curious, and almost afraid to hear what it was. She and the Moon Eagle were close friends, but they didn’t know each other, as well as Tazrae, would like. Jaelis was a fleeting soul, here today and gone for weeks. But his company always truthfully brought her comfort. He would come to spend evenings with her at times, letting her make him food, and talking of magic or mysteries or even the deep dark night itself early into the morning hours. She’d invariably fall asleep on him and he’d often toss her blanket of stars over her so she woke without a chill in the morning.

After a few moments, each studying the other, Jaelis spoke.

“There is a boy… young but not too young, living in the Children’s Pavilion. He’s all alone, but he has such good qualities. He has a rough history, one of slavery and escape. He doesn’t talk about his past. He doesn’t relate well to the other children, even though they defer to him often. He is far older than his years. I think it would be good for him to get out, to learn things, maybe come to the Inn and learn that kind of trade.” Jaelis said thoughtfully.

Taz studied the Kelvic, uncertain of what exactly he was asking. “You want me to take an apprentice?” She asked quietly.

Jaelis snorted as if the whole idea offended him. “No. I’m asking you to adopt him. He doesn’t need work. He needs a family. He needs a reason to climb out of bed every day and learn to trust that things will be fine.” The Kelvic Moon Eagle said firmly. “He could learn all he needs from you and you need something he can offer.” The Moon Eagle said softly.

Tazrae furrowed her brow. “You want me to …. adopt a child I’ve never met, just on your word?” Her voice was skeptical and concerned, and all she could think about was how difficult it would be to take care of another child with her own daughter still basically a newborn.

“Yes. Someone has to step up and adopt one of them. No one has thus far. If you make a move, others might decide to do so as well. Those children have a stigma on them after that priest. I heard the story myself the moment I settled into town.” He added, shaking his head. “I wasn’t even here for those things to happen. But this boy, this boy would be a good fit for you, Tazrae. And you have so much love inside. And I think you need him… for more than just help around the Inn. You have your children, and they are painfully young. I know that. But this boy… he can become a lot to you as well. He can become part of the family you long for.” He suggested, his hair ruffling a moment much as feathers do.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
Location: Syka
Race: Human
Character sheet
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Medals: 5
Mizahar Grader (1) Overlored (1)
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Syka Seasonal Challenge (1)

A Proposition By Moonlight

Postby Tazrae on November 21st, 2022, 12:59 am

Taz started to speak, but she was still a little in shock and so Jaelis pushed on.

“He talks to me sometimes, when I am in my Moon Eagle shape. He doesn’t know I am a Kelvic. He … is a lot like you. He has a wildness that not many would understand. He needs… leadership to cultivate his own leadership qualities. And he needs a family, even if it’s only a mother, who will love him as he deserves. And he will love you too, Tazrae. He is special… there are things I can see forward for him, along his Chavi. He… he needs what you can give him to see that happen. I see that you adopt him. I see that as happening.” Jaelis added, turning and beginning to walk again. Taz had no choice but to follow, still lost in thought.

“This isn’t exactly a favor, Jaelis. This is… a lifelong commitment.” She told him, uncertain.

“I need you to trust me, Tazrae. I know you have no reason to trust me. But this is important. This needs to happen.” He said, almost insistently.

She paused in the sand then, her hand rubbing up and down her daughter’s tiny spine, and stared at the Moon Eagle as he tried to gently persuade her into doing this. “I don’t even know how to adopt a child from that pavilion.” She said, looking thoughtful. Would she really do something like this… something this drastic… on just the Kelvic’s insistence? How would yet another child complicate her life? How could she adopt yet another one while her own was still missing? Was that even fair? Was that even right?

Taz opened her mouth to say more when Jaelis said something else. “Tazrae, the Gods want this.” He said softly. “You cannot escape it, not really, if its something they want.” He added.

“How do you know they want this, Jaelis? How can you be so sure?” She asked, feeling pressure she wasn’t willing to cave to… not right now. There was so much wrong in her life right now. She couldn’t possibly add to it, not yet, not right now. Her son was missing, and she was convinced the love of her life didn’t actually love her. Her Inn was in need of more help than she could devote to it right now. And she hadn’t slept truthfully… she’ hadn’t slept since the 45th of the season. The odds are, with Khari, there would be no sleep the rest of the season or the season after or the season after that. It might be, in fact, years.

Tazrae sighed, then held up her hand when Jaelis started to answer her. He’d probably given her enough of an answer already. “Fine. I’ll go meet him.” She said thoughtfully. “But first I’m going to meditate on it. And I’m going to recharge my homefinder. And I’m going to ask the Goddess’ and Gods I trust what they want me to do… without taking your word for it.” She said, meeting the Kelvic’s stern gaze.

He watched her a moment before a slow smile spread across his face. “That’s not a no. Come tomorrow… to the Children’s Pavilion. I will introduce you.” He said carefully, thoughtfully, and maybe a little bit hopefully.

Tazrae nodded slowly, not agreeing to anything outright, but willing to listen.

Words: 2683
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
Location: Syka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 5
Mizahar Grader (1) Overlored (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Syka Seasonal Challenge (1)


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