Timestamp: 84th of Fall, 522 A.V.
Tazrae tossed and turned, not exactly seeking sleep as she usually did, but caught in a dream she couldn’t escape. Taz rarely visited Nysel’s realm. When she did, her dreams were vivid and she often remembered them. At times she was her human self, and at other times she was an Ixam. When dreams caught her and she was tossed back to that horrible lost year, sometimes she even experienced the things she’d experienced there without her emotions dampened. And that’s when she woke up screaming.
Sometimes Tazrae screamed so much that she had no voice the next day, caught in the horror that was that entrapment on repeat day in and day out until they got exactly what they wanted from her. She dreamed of Kaysen too, often and frantically. They were usually dreams of frantic searching. She’d lost something and tore The Protea apart looking for whatever it was. Sometimes she was in Reclaimed Knowledge, and that too was ransacked by her own hands as she searched.
She’d always wake the same way, in a cold sweat, panting, her hands clasping the covers forming claws to defend herself with.
Taz would then take a deep breath, inhale deeply, rise slowly and walk to calm herself. A run down the beach often did her wonders, but with Khari here, Taz couldn’t jog with the baby. So instead, she wrapped her up in her baby wrap and set off barefoot along the waterline at a sedate walk rather than a run. She’d let the sea wash over her bare feet, pulling at her and the sand as if to lure her out to sea. She never gave in to the temptation but stood firm upon the land.
The twins had laid waste to her figure, though she’d taken great pains to rub cream into her stretched skin and give it all the help she could so they left no lasting marks. It was a miracle she’d given birth to them naturally, though evidently, it was a trend for the women of her family. And slowly, over time, she was getting her figure back. She owed her Ranger Duty to that, she supposed, though good food and lots of exercises helped.
Taz had lost that lonely feeling she’d been plagued with all the way through last season. She supposed the imprisonment In the Dominion had a big help in that. It was slowly starting to not matter that there were certain people that left big gaps in her life. As she walked, she realized she had others that were slowly filling in, including the small infant, tucked up against her. Even Kamrae had a place in her heart now, even if she was still almost a stranger. Jaelis had become a friend too, popping into her life at a time when she’d really needed someone to step up for her. He had, without complaint, and had kept showing up repeatedly just when she needed him the most.
As usual, several Ixam trailed her. They were a family of sorts too, keeping her company and filling her life with excitement. The juveniles played in the surf in her wake, chasing each other’s tails, and grabbing at sticks in the high tide line, fighting over them and wrestling. Their antics made Tazrae smile. Bree and Isikai were off somewhere, doing who knows what – possibly hunting – in the early morning hours. Taz didn’t mind.