Completed Fireside Seaside Soulside

Tazrae offloads some things on Mathias.

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Syka is a new settlement of primarily humans on the east coast of Falyndar opposite of Riverfall on The Suvan Sea. [Syka Codex]

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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 23rd, 2022, 5:22 am

Timestamp: 85th of Fall, 522 A.V.


Visiting Mathias was never a bad thing. In fact, no matter what turmoil Tazrae had going on in her mind, Mathias always seemed to have a knack for soothing things out and helping her to see other perspectives. She set out with a newborn tucked up against her, cuddled with her left arm while her right arm held a basket of baked goods left over from a breakfast rush that never materialized.

It was early and the sun was dipping low in the west. Taz loved this part of the day more and more. The dinner crowd at The Protea had been light, just feeding her guests and Gracelin who’d dropped by to see the baby. They’d had a nice visit, and then Gracelin had graciously helped her clean up as they’d talked. Taz had promised to resume her training as soon as she was able, and Gracelin had made it clear that Khari was more than welcome to any of their sessions from here on out.

The new mother was tired, but more and more, she was starting to see how the Community was more than willing to help her if she let them. And slowly, carefully, she was letting a few in. Gracelin she’d always trust. Shiress was another that had saved her life in those first moments back. Those two, between them, had helped the young Innkeeper ground herself again and find her feet to push forward.

The talk with Mathias was overdue. And Tazrae had multiple reasons for her visit. First and foremost, she had to tell him about what happened to her. Some of the Founders knew bits and pieces, but most of them had been doing something amazing – giving her a little space. She’d been back forty days though. That meant Khari was almost a half-season old.

Taz smiled slightly, a little more in love with her daughter each and every day. The second thing she had to do was give him something… to keep for her as a safeguard. And the third thing she had to talk to him about was permission for a new building project in The Commons. And finally, there was Julian. She needed to talk to Mathias about the boy.

There were assorted young and adult Ixam in tow, most of them simply following to see what Taz might be up to that would be interesting. Mathias’ place, it seemed, was always fascinating to whichever species might be involved.

Taz sighed, climbed up on the deck, and found that for once Mathias was alone. He was leaned back, sipping what appeared to be a brandy, and contemplating the water out before him. The Innkeeper walked to where he was sitting, rested the basket down on the small table beside his chair, and quietly greeted him.

“Hello Mathias. It’s been a while.” She said softly, as the older man turned, caught her gaze, and nodded to the seat beside him. Bree and Sunny joined her, the pair of females curling up in a wide spot on the big deck, letting the sun warm their scales. A few hatchlings braved the steps as well, seemingly staring at Mathias’ roof, almost in a challenge. Taz glanced at the little reptiles, then up at the roof, finding nothing amiss.
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"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
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Tazrae
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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 23rd, 2022, 5:24 am

“Have a chair… and you brought goodies. Thank you.” He said, peeking into the basket. It was mostly filled with bear claws that were stuffed with cinnamon, sugar, and slivered almonds. He liked them and in fact, dug one out to nibble on.

“I knew you were coming tonight and told everyone to find somewhere else to be. I left a blanket out on the back of that chair in case you and the little one get cold.” He added, knowing that wasn’t likely in Syka, but it was a courtesy nonetheless.

He shooed a little hatchling off the table who had reared up to peek in the basket as well. “It’s not fish.” He grumbled, good-naturedly, and getting hissed at for his trouble, actually was obeyed as the hatchling retreated. Taz smiled. “Thank you.” She said, settling in the chair and joining Mathias in his contemplative stare out across the water.

“It’s really beautiful here.” She said suddenly, then smiled as Mathias rose, fetched her a flagon of wine, and set a glass down on the table beside her chair. He poured from the flagon and left it there in case she needed a refill.

“I’ve been waiting to hear the details.” He said softly, glancing at the baby she was slowly unwinding from the baby wrap to hold loosely in her arms instead. “It isn’t often that we get new arrivals in Syka unexpectedly and after only one day. She looks like you, except for those eyes. The hair gives it away.” He added, smiling. Evidently, Mathias liked babies, though Taz couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t.

Children meant that there was a future for Syka.

Taz held a promise and a reason for them to keep going in her arms. He knew it and she knew it, though they didn’t speak on it exactly. “But good stories take time…. have you had enough time so you can give it a proper tell?” He asked, curious, as he watched Tazrae’s face.

“I think so.” She mused, then offered him a smile. Then just like that, she started talking. Glad the chair she was in was a rocker, she began to rock and told Mathias about what happened from the moment the chest arrived to the moment she’d burst into being home via the Homefinders magic. He was an attentive listener, even though she felt she was a poor storyteller, too close to the story as it were. But she tried to do it justice, not bothering to keep the emotion out of her voice and her eyes as she recounted that year she lost to that terrible place. And when she was done, Mathias only nodded.

“Sometimes the best things come from the worst things. Your daughter is beautiful.” He said simply. “And she has all the gifts and potential you yourself have.” He added.

“People make the mistake of thinking that once they have children, their lives change forever. And while that is true, its also true that their lives get bigger and they learn faster and deeper than they could as simply single childless people. I have children. Randal has had the experience of having children. And James enjoys Juli and could not imagine his life without her. You won’t know what life was like without your twins, Taz. It will be just a vague solitary unhappy time for you, I suspect because these children are going to bring you so much love. It’s one of the things about you that you need. You need people to nurture, cultivate, to care for because you have a lot inside yourself that wants out and makes you restless. We can all see it… how you roam, directionless… and now you are grounded. Your daughter is not a tether, holding you here. She a cornerstone that is going to help cement the foundations of the rest of your life.” He said, offering her a smile and reaching across the distance between the two chairs to squeeze her hand. She turned her hand over, where his covered hers and gripped his palm firmly.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
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Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 23rd, 2022, 5:26 am

“It’s brought a lot of pain to others… this happening.” She said abruptly, a frown creasing on her face. She ran her hand across Khari’s face gently rubbing her cheek with a finger as the baby slept in her arms. Just seeing the peace and security on her daughter’s face brought a smile to her own.

“Yet, it didn’t happen to them. It happened to you. They have no right to your pain, Taz. It is yours and yours alone.” He admonished, shaking his head. “Don’t let them claim it. If they want to share your burden, that is one thing. And that one thing can be easily done by lending an ear, offering a hug, and being present but not disruptive. But if they want to use what happened to you as something for them to latch onto, then it is not okay.” He said gently. “You know that I suspect that has happened more than once with you.” He offered her a gentle smile and immediately Taz felt lighter.

Tazrae nodded. “There have been so many people that have stepped up to help me. They aren’t judging me or telling me they are sorry or that they wished things were different. They are supporting me. It’s far more than I deserve. Shiress, Gracelin… even Jaelis. They have been quietly there. They don’t push, but they offer words of kindness and actions of support when I need them. I have no way to ever repay them, but I do feel like I owe them a lot.” Taz said, taking a breath.

“That brings me to another matter. Jaelis came to me last night and said… something that shocked me a little. But he was adamant and I trust him. He… he said that he wanted me to adopt a child named Julian. He’s one of the boys from the Orpha… Children’s Pavilion.” It wasn’t supposed to be an orphanage. The Founders had made that clear. It was a pavilion for opportunities. “I’ve never met this boy. I have a newborn. I think the last thing I need is a little boy on the cusp of being a teenager. But Jaelis was insistent that this was something that was supposed to happen. He insisted that I would adopt him and that he’s supposed to be with me.” Taz said softly. “I would have ignored it… at least right now, but he told me a little of the boy’s history and I ….” She blinked, swallowed, and took a moment to stare at her baby.

“I don’t have Kaysen here. How can I even contemplate taking in another child with my little boy missing?” She asked, glancing at Mathias. “I don’t even know if my son is alright.” She said softly, blinking, running her hands reassuringly across Khari’s shoulder… before looking back up at Mathias.

Mathias sighed softly, continued to rock, then turned a steady eye at Taz, studying her. There was nothing anything could do about Tazrae’s son. Everyone knew that. But he suspected there was more behind her words.

“There’s more.” He said softly, firmly.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 23rd, 2022, 5:28 am

Tazrae nodded. “I have this….” She said, leaning down and pulling an item from her backpack that also doubled as her diaper bag. She slipped an Hourglass free of the bag and reached over, handing it to Mathias.

“I know very little of it. I thought I was supposed to bring it back and give it to Alric, but … now I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do. I was told… it was the reason this monster inhabiting my Grandfather’s body can move from body to body. The Gods seem to even be upset Sran’tuka had it. With it safe, out of that creature’s hands, my son is safe… from him at least. That’s what I’ve been told. I don’t know if it’s the truth or not. I hope it is.” Taz said, watching Mathias study the item.

He was quiet a long time, so long in fact that Tazrae was tempted to say something else. Instead, she just waited him out. She’d learned to fill the silence with more silence and let the quiet wash over her and bring information on its own.

Mathias sighed, and Taz could see the indecisiveness on his face. He knew something and was reluctant to speak. “Tazrae… when James first brought you here, he said that you would be one of many. You didn’t know your people back then. You didn’t know yourself. You still don’t, to a large extent, but you are learning. Everything is unfolding in front of you now. You are still finding your feet and learning who you are.” He said softly. “You have a huge capacity to care for people; young, old, weak, and strong. You will have enough time, energy, and love for anyone you take under your wing, including these children. I suspect these twins won’t be your first children. And I know…. I know about the other thing that you haven’t told anyone. I know how long your life will be. It’s a pleasure to be witnessing the youth of someone who will potentially be here long after I’m dust. If Jaelis wants you to take the boy and you think you are capable, then take him. Make sure the boy wants it though. If Jaelis thinks it’s important, ask him why it's important and make sure his agenda lines up with yours. And if it all falls together, then let it fall and enjoy it. Don’t force it though.” Mathias said softly.

“You have my blessing whatever way you want to go. I just want the child to be in agreement. They can make your life miserable if they are unhappy. All children should be happy, even the ones without parents. It’s important since he didn’t choose to be what he is now, that he gets to choose to be what he is going to be moving forward.” He said softly, then tapped the Hourglass.

“I think you want me to hold onto this. And I can do that. There are enough… eyes… around here that nothing will happen to it. I’m holding on to things that shouldn’t be out in the world and won’t be. I’ll find a spot for it on my bookshelf for it and it will be in good company.” He said quietly, tapping it again, thoughtful.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 23rd, 2022, 5:30 am

The relief that flooded through Tazrae was almost tangible. She could feel it erupt inside herself and spill over to a cascade of emotions that took her by surprise. Khari woke up, golden eyes bright, and focused on her mother’s face. Taz smiled, lifted her up, and rested her against her shoulder while she continued to rock the rocking chair.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, her throat choking up. This was by far the better option, the safer option, and one she could rest easy knowing where the device was and that it was safe… far safer than it would be with anyone else, herself included.

Mathias rose, excused himself quietly, and slipped into his cabana. He was back in a moment and slipping into the rocker. “Why didn’t you give it to Alric?” He asked quietly, thoughtfully, trying to understand a situation she wasn’t quite explaining. Then he grew silent, waiting for her answer, which caused her to shift Khari back to her lap, adjusting her little sleeper, and then finally swallow.

“I did, at first. But … he put it down in the sand and I kept seeing it there, almost discarded, and …. I realized something. Having it safe protects him and protects Kaysen. Is it safer with him than it is with me? I don’t know. It feels vulnerable either way. But with you, I know it is truly safe. With it being here, I can sleep…” She said softly, shaking her head. “I told him everything about the last year. It was… I…. “ She shook her head. “I don’t know…” Tazrae whispered softly glancing down at Khari.

Mathias nodded slowly. “You need things from a partner. If Alric can give you those things, you two will work things out. If he doesn’t have those things to give, then you are better off going your own ways. He has things he probably needs from you. Is he getting those things? I don’t know. I do know one thing, Tazrae. You need to let go of all this anger you have. And don’t tell me you don’t feel angry. You do. Do you really understand what anger is?” He said softly, a snowy eyebrow lifting.

Tazrae looked thoughtful. “It’s a reaction… a negative feeling that happens as a response to the actions of others… or yourself… things like disrespect, being demeaned, threatened, or neglected,” Taz said thoughtfully.

Mathias shook his head. “Anger is just a punishment we give to ourselves for the mistakes someone else made.” He said confidently. “The best way to combat it is to let it go. Move forward. Do that which makes you happy. The best way to counter any of those feelings you listed… disrespect, threatening or neglectful behavior… all the rest… is to be happy. That’s what you have to do. And if you can make these children happy, then it's two or threefold and far better than any revenge possible.” He said softly with a half smile.

“I’m not saying I’m angry at Alric.” Taz said softly.

Mathias smiled. “You’re angry at life and at everything that isn’t going the way you want it to go.” He added. “Change your perspective. They hurt you, but they didn’t destroy you. Rise above it and move forward with happiness.” He said with a gentle smile.
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
Location: Syka
Race: Human
Character sheet
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Medals: 5
Mizahar Grader (1) Overlored (1)
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Fireside Seaside Soulside

Postby Tazrae on November 24th, 2022, 5:47 am

“I have one more thing to ask you.” She said, changing the subject with thoughtful intent. “I’d like to build something for The Commons. It’s along the lines of The Kihala Shrine, but simpler. We owed Kihala for the Guardian Statues, but we owe others as well now. It feels a little like a battleground here for some reason with this priest of Rhysol running around. So I’d like to honor the Gods and Goddesses that have protected us, and some of those we look too.” Tazrae explained, caught up in the thought of how she saw it in her mind. It wasn’t easy to explain to Mathias, but she tried.

“I’d like to build a walkway of arches off the backside of The Commons. It would be an eight-foot-wide pathway stretching into the jungle with arches of green periodically stretching up and across the path. Behind and between each arch would be an alter area on either side… a little alcove with a bench. There would be one on either side of the pathway after each arch. How many we had would be dictated by the number of arches we installed and how long the path is. This concept I’m calling a Godswalk. I wanted to put an alter in for Caiyha, Eyris, Rhaus, Izurden, Laviku, Xhyvas, Xyna and maybe a few others to begin with.” She said, still forming the concept in her head.

It was far easier, it seemed, for her plan to come about than what she thought. Mathias was smiling and he nodded, pleased. “That sounds like a great idea. I’d like you to add in a couple more though. And those that worship individual gods could help decorate the alter an the spaces set aside to honor them.” he said thoughtfully. “I see absolutely no reason to say no and a lot of reasons to say yes. So please… consider your permission granted.” Mathias said thoughtfully.

Taz smiled. “Thank you. I’ll get others to help me, especially with the pathway itself. I’m sure quite a few followers will jump at the chance to help provide a space for their deity to be honored. And I’ll need help with the benches… and alters themselves.” She continued, thinking aloud.

The truth was that this was just the type of project she needed to get back to normal and for her to reconnect to the community.

Taz nodded, starting to smile slightly. Then she rose and wrapped Khari back up in her sling. She could tell her daughter was hungry and it was more than time to feed her so Tazrae decided it was time to go. “Thank you, Mathias. Your wisdom…. It means a lot to me.” She said, shouldering her backpack and leaning forward to kiss his cheek. Mathias touched Khari and smiled as the baby grinned toothlessly at him. Then she was off, her Ixam escort trailing after her, as she headed up the sand back towards Garden Beach.

When she was out of sight of Mathias’ cabana, she adjusted the sling and let her daughter begin to feed. Then she hummed softly, thinking of some lyrics that she could put together tonight and maybe do some songcrafting. As a bard, the music of the night was beautiful, and seductive, and walking the sand north towards home, Tazrae felt in that moment her heart was full and there was a newfound peace inside her that she welcomed… it was a peace she needed desperately.

Words: 3418
Image
"A mark of an open mind is being more committed to your curiosity than your conviction.
The goal of learning is not to shield old views against new facts, but to revise old views with new facts.
Ideas are possibilities to explore, not certainties to defend."


Garden Beach Syka The Protea Inn

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows."
User avatar
Tazrae
Be savage, not average.
 
Posts: 1245
Words: 1808031
Joined roleplay: May 3rd, 2020, 2:02 pm
Location: Syka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 5
Mizahar Grader (1) Overlored (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Syka Seasonal Challenge (1)


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