Girls' Day Out (Kendall)

by **Jaelyn Baroth** on May 24th, 2011, 4:27 pm

Jaelyn was quiet as she listened to Kendall's explanation, and she tried to make sense of it all and keep her kind smile on her face. His first words were confusing though, and as Kendall continued to speak more emotions were added which only made for a confusing swirl of emotions in her head.

She was a bit hurt that she had been lied to, but she could understand why Kendall wouldn't want to introduce him... herself as a girl. She was sad that she had finally put her feelings out, and this was the result she got. She was angry at the horrible man who had put Kendall through so much, and anyone else who had been unpleasant to Kendall because of what had happened. On top of it all she was confused. Confused why this was all happening, what she should do, what it meant that she had felt such a way for a girl, and that all mixed with her other feelings to only make the confusion worse. She had no clue what to even do at this point.

All of that was pushed away as Kendall hugged her and bawled onto her shoulder, begging Jaelyn not to hate hi...her and and apologizing. Jaelyn's own confusion didn't matter right now. What mattered was that one of the sweetest people she knew was hurting and need of comfort right now.

Wrapping her arms around Kendall tightly Jaelyn hugged her friend back, tears springing to her own eyes as she spoke softly, "Oh Kendall, how could I hate you? It was not your fault what happened to you, and I can certainly understand why you would not go around telling everyone you are a girl," slowly she rubbed her hands against Kendall's back, wishing she knew how to take the pain away, "If anything I care for you more now. It must be so incredibly hard dealing with that, and yet you are still so sweet and kind. I do not know think I could do that if I was in your situation."

Sitting back a little Jaelyn kept her hands lightly on Kendall's back as she smiled warmly at her friend, tears sliding down her own cheeks, "I... May not know what I can do to help you, but if there is anything you have to only ask. No matter what else happens though, know that I am your friend Kendall."

by **Kendall Saarinen** on May 25th, 2011, 3:51 pm

Jaelyn took the news a lot better than Kendall expected. Where he expected his emotions to flare up in a fit of burning anxiety a calm feeling of relief washed over him. Jaelyn wasn't pushing him away. In fact, she was pulling him in closer and hugging him back. She truely was meant to be a knight, at least in Kendall's eyes. She was able to accept him for who he really was even when she was laying all of her emotions on the line.

"It is hard. I am extremely lucky to have help coping though. Hadrian has helped me more than I can even comprehend. I don't think I would be as okay with my situation if it was not for him." Kendall was not sure of Jaelyn even knew Hadrian. He said that he had worked with knights before but that did not mean that Jaelyn and Hadrian had met.

He smiled at Jaelyn. ”Thank you. It means a lot to know you are there for me.” It was actually a much bigger relief than he let on. He had not told anyone but Hadrian and Markus about his accident. Markus did not take it well although he had every right not to. Hadrian took it much better but he was also a much different person than the squire. He looked Jaelyn in the eyes and grinned through his tears. He felt comfortable in the fact that he could let out some of his more feminine qualities now that his friend knew. ”It is too bad I could not stay in Syliras longer. I think we could have become really good friends. I would have liked to be. I haven’t had a close female friend in a long time.” Right now his only friends were Hadrian, Cathan, Sondra, and Seven. He could count Seven as a friend, right? He had helped Kendall when he got drunk at the Rearing Stallion. ”I’ll be back though. I don’t know when but I’m sure I will be. Hopefully by then you will be a knight.” He felt a bit of excitement at that fact. He wanted nothing more than to see his friend achieve her goal. ”Who knows? Maybe I’ll be back to normal then too. You would have liked me as a girl. I was much more happy.”

by **Jaelyn Baroth** on May 26th, 2011, 1:35 pm

"Hadrian sounds like a good man," Jaelyn offered with a warm smile, "And I am glad that you have him."

Kendall's thanks were met with a small nod, Jaelyn not feeling she had really done anything worth being thanked over, but when Kendall brought up her leaving Jaelyn's heart jumped. She tried to push it down, smiling at Kendall's speaking of her becoming a Knight, and she gave a soft smile at her comment on what might have been, "Kendall, I like you as you are," realizing what she had said might be taken wrong she hastened to explain, "Not that I would not like you in a girl's body! What I mean to say is that it is your spirit that I appreciate, your thoughts and feelings, and so I will be happy to be your friend regardless of what body you are in."

Her smile slowly faded as the fear of Kendall clawed its way back up into her throat, and fresh tears ran down her cheeks as she hugged Kendall tightly once more, "Oh please Kendall," she whispered to her friend, "Please be careful in Ravok. I would not dream of asking you to stay, it is not my place, but I do not want anything more to happen to you. Ravok is a dangerous city filled with horrible people."

Giving a soft sigh she sat back once more, her gaze sliding to the side, "If I was a Knight I might be able to go with you, help to protect you, but I cannot abandon my training as a Squire. I am Sorry..."

If only Jaelyn had worked harder, been more dedicated in her training, maybe she could be a Knight already, and she wouldn't have to watch a friend go off to someplace dangerous alone...

by **Kendall Saarinen** on May 26th, 2011, 6:55 pm

A soft giggle bubbled from Kendall's lips. "He really is wonderful. I really thought I would never find happiness again but... I don't know. He just makes me feel content." He felt bad about talking about Hadrian around Jaelyn. She had laid her emotions on the line for him and he was talking a man he was falling for. "I'm glad I have him too."

The words Jaelyn spoke meant to much to Kendall. He did not expect her to be so civil. She said similar words to what Hadrian had said. She did not care about his body, just his soul. Kendall smiled at Jaelyn. "Don't worry. I know what you mean. Thank you again. That means the world to me." It really meant more to him than he could express.

The more people fretted about him going off to Ravok the more he wanted to skip the city entirely. He would have Cathan, Ethan, Hadrian, and Sondra with him though. Togather they would hopefully be able to keep themselves safe. Once again Kendall found himself in Jaelyn's arms. She was crying and in return he wanted to cry with her. He felt the fear radiating from her. She truely was scared of him. "I will try to keep an eye out. I am very scared too." Pulling away from her, he looked into her eyes. "Try not to worry about me though. You need to focus on your knighthood." He wanted to give her more comfort. When he was a girl he was able to get close his female friends. He could hold their hand or hold them close without the sexual tension. He was aware that Jaelyn knew that inside of his male body there was a girl. One could not deny that he was in a male body. One that reacted like a male's body should. "Your place is here with your friends and family. Not to mention the knights. I will be back someday and maybe you will get to see what I really look like." He wondered if he would be back to normal by the time he returned to Syliras. He did not know when he would be back. It could be seasons, if not years.

by **Jaelyn Baroth** on May 27th, 2011, 2:21 pm

It did sting a little bit as Kendall spoke of Hadrian, but Jaelyn couldn't begrudge her friend the happiness she could hear in her voice. Besides, it was perfectly understandable that Kendall would be interested in a guy and not another girl...

Pushing those thoughts and feelings away she turned her gaze back to Kendall once more as she wiped at her eyes to remove her tears, "Please tell me at least Hadrian is traveling with you to Ravok, or someone else. Someone that can watch your back and help if something bad happens," putting her hand on Kendall's shoulder again she gazed into those beautifully mismatched eyes, "If you can tell me that then I will rest a little better at least."

Jaelyn couldn't deny that everything Kendall was saying was true. As much as she was worried about Kendall there was no way she could abandon the Knighthood, her family, and especially not her Father. Giving a small nod she gave a soft sigh, "You are right. As much as I may want to I could not leave with you," she fell silent for a moment, and then pushed a warm smile onto her lips, "Enough of this sad talk of you leaving. You have not left yet, and we are already friends. Why do we not go out and do something fun?" she wasn't quite sure what to suggest, but Jaelyn was hopeful that maybe Kendall would have something she wished to do between the two of them.

by **Kendall Saarinen** on June 15th, 2011, 6:30 pm

Kendall nodded as he whiped at his tears. "Yes, he is coming with me. I don't think i would have left without him." He smiled a bit at the words. "I was supposed to leave a season ago for Ravok but I found Hadrian. I know it is silly to put aside plans for one person but I suppose it paid off." There was a hint of the hidden girl in the shy smile that appeared on Kendall's face. "Try not to worry though. Seriously, you have more important things to worry about." A knighthood hung in the balance for Jaelyn and Kendall refused to get in the way of it.

"I agree, let's go something. What do you feel like doing?" Kendall knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to drink. He always wanted to drink though. It was becoming a growing problem lately. Did knights even drink? They had to. Kendall knew he should have thought of something else to do with his time with Jaelyn but still he uttered the words. "Want to go to the Rearing Stallion?" He knew this was a bad idea but he stuck to it. If he got drunk he would most likely act even more like a female but now that Jaelyn knew Kendall's secret what was the harm?

by **Jaelyn Baroth** on June 15th, 2011, 6:52 pm

"I do not think it is silly, not if Hadrian is as special to you as you say," Jaelyn said with the warm smile still on her lips, but there was a slight hint of sadness to her gray eyes, "And I will do my best not to worry too much. I cannot promise I will not worry at all though. We are friends after all."

Jaelyn did have the faintest tinge of jealousy at the connection Kendall and Hadrian seemed to share, but she quickly smothered the feeling. Not only was Kendall a girl, so Jaelyn shouldn't have feelings for her, but it wasn't like the Squire had the time for a romance... as much as she felt the desire at times.

Kendall's question about what she felt like doing caused Jaelyn to fidget nervously for a second as she tried to think of something. What should she do? What would normal girls do? Thankfully before long Kendall offered a suggestion, and Jaelyn eagerly nodded in response, "That sounds good, I hardly go there by myself," standing up in the pew and giving a little stretch Jaelyn smiled at her friend, "Shall we?"

by **Kendall Saarinen** on June 16th, 2011, 1:49 am

Kendall smiled at Jaelyn. "I'll worry about you too, you know." He was a little embarassed to say such a thing to a knight. They were protectors and the were brave! They did not need someone worring about them. Kendall could not help it though. He did not know everything about the Syliran Knights but he did know that one day Jaelyn might be faced with something that could hurt her. "You are going to go off to become a knight and I am really excited for you of course but it will be dangerous." The words might have sounded a little demeaning but he did not mean them to be that way. He just wanted Jaelyn to know what he felt before he left. "It is not to say that I do not trust that you can take care of yourself! I just know it can be a little dangerous and I would hate to see you hurt."

With a nod Kendall stood up next to Jaelyn. "Until next time Ivak. Thank you." He closed his eyes as he sent his silent prayer to his imprisoned God. He assumed Jaelyn would not find the action too odd since the pair had come to the temple to pray in the first place. "It is best if I don't go there alone. Let's just say I have a little too much fun with alcohol." He was happy his friend would be at the tavern with him. The bigger issue was if Jaelyn was going to judge him for his love of alcohol.

The walk to the Rearing Stallion was no too far of a walk from the temple. Of course the walk was always more manageable when one had a friend at their side. When the pair got into the tavern Kendall ordered ale for both of them before sitting down at a table with Jaelyn. "It is really nice to go out like this. I never get to have any girl time, you know?" His mismatched eyes tried to guage Jaelyn's reaction to his words. "Sorry, that probably sounds a little odd." He chuckled a bit as he took a sip of his ale. The liquid felt warm as it moved down his throat. He had not consumed enough of the ale to start to feel it's effects but he could not help but want to gossip with Jaelyn. In his own way he wanted to relive his days with Aello. He smiled devilishly as he took another sip of his ale. "You remember how I brought up Markus the first time we met right?" He bit his lip as he tried not to laugh at what he was about to say. His finger traced the rim of his mug as his mismatched eyes looked up at Jaelyn. "He was my very first crush." He giggled as a small blush colored his cheeks. He was not sure how Jaelyn would take talk like this but he trusted her. She had already excepted the worst he could offer.

by **Jaelyn Baroth** on June 16th, 2011, 3:14 pm

Kendall's kind words about worrying for Jaelyn's safety brought warmth to her smile, and just a hint to her cheeks, "Thank you Kendall. I will do my best in my training so I can stay safe, and so you will not have to worry much."

Quietly Jaelyn watched as Kendall closed her beautiful eyes. It seemed like her friend was praying, and that pricked lightly at Jaelyn's curiosity, but now was not the time to ask to whom she prayed. They were supposed to be going to have some fun together, and most people didn't find discussing their personal worship that fun. Kendall's following comment about enjoying alcohol a bit too much brought a faint quirk to Jaelyn's eyebrow, but she smiled softly nonetheless, "Well, then I am doubly happy to be going with you."

Following her friend down to the Rearing Stallion Jaelyn wore a soft smile on her face the whole time. It certainly wasn't exactly what she had dreamed of before, but still it was a happy occasion for her to be going somewhere like this with Kendall. Maybe a little confusing, as her attraction to Kendall was still there in the background, but she wasn't going to let that ruin what might be one of her last times with someone who was a good friend.

Sitting down at the table with Kendall Jaelyn smiled warmly and nodded at Kendall's question, but before she could respond Kendall spoke again and apologized, "No, it does not sound odd at all," Jaelyn responded with a short shake of her head, "If anything I should be the one to say sorry. I have... never really done much of what you would call girl time," her smile turned apologetic as a faint blush touched her cheeks out of embarrassment, "But I will do my best."

Jaelyn watched as Kendall sipped at the ale, and then turned her attention to her own mug. She'd had alcohol before, but it was usually just a little bit of wine at special occasions. Seeing how easily Kendall drank meant it couldn't be too bad though. Giving a small nod in response to Kendall's question about Markus, Jaelyn brought the mug up to her lips to sip from it slowly. The flavor was... different, not terrible, and it held the same warmth to it as wine did.

As Jaelyn was contemplating the taste of the ale Kendall spoke again, and things finally clicked in Jaelyn's mind. Markus and Kendall DID actually know each other! With that came the other realization that her and Kendall had shared feelings for the same person! The involuntary gasp that these thoughts caused didn't go very well with the bit of ale in the Squire's mouth, and Jaelyn quickly put her mug back down on the table as she went into a small coughing fit in response.

As Jaelyn worked out the cough she wondered if this was bad or good. She seemed to remember Rachel talking about how bad it was for two girls to like the same guy, but Kendall like Hadrian now. Would that make it alright? By the time Jaelyn had finished coughing the strangeness of the whole situation was a bit much, and all she could do was giggle.

"Oh... Oh my," Jaelyn said softly as her giggle died down, "I... Well, that is very ironic," she spoke softly, her cheeks flushing with fresh embarrassment, "I... well," she carefully took another slow sip of her ale to give herself a moment to collect her thoughts and gather the courage to admit what she had not admitted to anyone before, "I... have a crush on him as well..."

Carefully putting her mug back down Jaelyn slowly raised her eyes from it to Kendall, hoping she wouldn't be bothered by Jaelyn's words.

by **Kendall Saarinen** on June 18th, 2011, 4:58 am

Kendall shrugged as he looked at his friend. "I used to have nothing but girl time but lately it seems I have only been spending time with guys." He took a drink of his ale before speaking up again. "I guess it is nature though. We are drawn to those of our gender." He shook his head as he thought about that. The topic of gender most likely had nothing to do with it. It was just fate throwing people into Kendall's life. "We are doing it now though. Better late than never." He raised his glass with a smile. "To girl time."

A small giggle bubbled from Kendall's throat when Jaelyn admitted having a crush on Markus. "Well he is a great person to have feelings for I suppose." He could not help but reminisce about his time with Markus as a little girl. "I think you would be great with him." Kendall would have been overjoyed to see his friend with such a nice person. He did not have an interest in Markus any longer. That flame had died out long before he had even met Kay'lan. "You should definately go for him. I promise I am over him." Kendall had Hadrian now. As far as he was concerned every boy he had ever liked could have gone off and gotten married. "Are squires and knights allowed to date each other?" This was what Kendall had missed. The gossip. "What do you like about him?" Kendall smiled as he recalled his misadventures with Markus. "I remember he was always so brave. He beat up a kid two years older than him just because the boy put a live mouse down my dress."