State of the...Mike Address
So...I have been active on Mizahar for two years. When I started, I truly didn't know if I would be here that long. Mizahar was kind of an experiment, something to occupy the frequent downtime I had at work. The site has become much more to me than that. Its a bonafide addiction. Now, I will break my usual silence to voice some thoughts.
The First Class I have seen a lot come and go in the past two years here. I started 25 days after the site was officially opened. Aside from the founder's PCs, Malia and I are the only players left of those here when I joined. Of the others that joined in the first months, a few are still around and active...Satu, Siiri, Kamalia...the one's I consider "Mizahar : First Class". You newbies who want to create epic characters out of the chute...forget it. Look at these PC's, and one's like Nya Winters and Abashai, they have endured, RP'd hard and earned the reputation to be truly epic Mizahar characters. Maybe they aren't as active as newer PC's, but their stories are so rich, their posts are worth waiting for. They have pioneered. They have not brought ready-made PC's from somewhere else and tried to fit them into Mizahar, they were born out of Mizahar. They were the first of many great Mizahar characters to be born out of this unique world. Even now, great PC's are just beginning.
The Founders I love them. They gave us this place. Solely by their hard work, their own money and their creativity are we blessed with Mizahar. Respect that. I was honored to get in on the ground floor, to have great RPers like Goss, Colombina and Cayenne take me under their wing. I stayed because they made those first weeks magical, they helped form Abashai and my writing style. Gillar and Tarot, I respect incredibly. Tarot's behind the scenes work on the site(so behind the scenes that he has even disabled the "last visited" line on his profile so you don't know when he's been here) keeps this technological wonder humming. Gillar, ever elusive, created an exhaustive Price List, and both have added their sinister creations to Miza. By the way, I have had threads modded by both. Those were the most incredible, and devious, threads I have done. I would have my PC fall into their insidious clutches anyday. Again, respect the Founders. Nothing elicits my ire more quickly than hearing someone disrespect them.
Jen Many have heard me tout my adoration for Jen. Its not sucking up, (by the way ...that does not impress her), its not puppy love. She showed me the joy of writing RP. She helped me develop my favorite PC, and is an incredible rp partner. Jen is my friend. Jen encourages me when I am depressed, warns me when I am in danger, and is often the only one who calls me out when I fail. She harasses me incessantly and keeps me humble. I love her for it. Does she make mistakes? ...pfft...sure she does. Is she opinionated and brutally honest? Heck yeah. But If you want to complain about her to me, I will listen, but I will not join in.
RP Partners There are a few oddities I have noticed about my RP habits. First, I almost exclusively play with female players. I don't know why for sure. I didn't plan it that way, it just seemed to happen. I am sure there is some psychological explanation regarding my libido or mid-life crisis or something. But there are players who only play PC's of the opposite gender, or who insist on using anime images for their avatars, or any number of anomalies that folks theorize the reasoning behind. I do plan to expand my horizon, and rp with some guys. My PC's need man-time.
Second, my PC's get attached. Two of the four of them are married (one with two wives), a third is in a relationship. Mostly, these attachments were not planned. They just happened as I was writing. I think I shocked Jen into silence when Abashai proposed to Nya. We never even discussed the possibility, it just came out. I am sure there are theories explaining that as well.
Abashai I love Abashai, he is my first and richest character. He is the one that I relate to, he is the one most like me. He is the introverted, traditional, guilt-ridden, spiritual, devoted part of me. I love his story, the epic tale Nya and Miza's ST's have woven for him. I love his relationship with Nya Winters. I believe it is unique in Mizahar. There can be no Abashai without Nya. There are exciting plans for the two of them, challenges and tests. It has been difficult, real life, the needs of the site, and my own distraction and lack of initiative has made it harder for us to post. That and the changes in the relationship between Nya and Abashai has caused us to struggle with the feel for our characters. But they have so much potential that I know they can move into a new phase. I still see the mighty warrior, swinging his khopesh astride the giant black forest cat as they mow down their enemies!
Vanator Yeah...he didn't turn out as I planned. Originally, Van was supposed to be a devotee of Caiyha with her gnosis, a nature boy sort. But the gnosis hadn't been written up yet, and Kavala and Akela invited Van to be part of the Denusk family. So then he was going to be the Heir of an Ankal, a mighty Drykas warrior and hunter. Well...he turned out to find women more interesting than hunting and fighting. Vanator seemed to reflect parts of me I was not particularly proud of. To be honest, women have always held sway over me. I prefer their company..and it is reflected in Vanator. It has caused a lot of teasing, and some drama. But I have to admit I liked it. Once he had sown his wild oats, the past year or so his rp has revolved mostly around domestic themes, finding a wife (or two), reconciling with his family (Kavala and Akela) and starting a family of his own. Sure, not a lot of adventure and fighting, but I found I have enjoyed rping what I have not really RP'd before. But, I plan to expand on that. He has proven to be a ladies man (some called him a man whore), a husband (if not a perfect one) and a leader in his family. Now he wants to hack some folks up, hunt some big smelly animals and make his women-folk respect his manliness. Hopefully some manly men will show up in Endrykas for him to male bond with.
Kovac Kovac was my attempt at a bad boy. I am not a bad boy...for the most part. So playing one was a challenge. He ended up more of a smart ass with a bad attitude than a bad guy. Kovac reflects my sarcasm. There has been a story of redemption of sorts with him, coming from an anti-social hater of endal and general self-loathing drunken despiser of others to a semi-functional member of Wind Reach society with glimpses of a conscious and a heart ( tiny as it may be). His relationship with Shayth is different than Van's and his wives, with more edge and attitude. And he is a bad boy in that he seems to habitually flirt. To be honest, I don't have real plans for him yet. He may take Rista in as an apprentice, and Shayth may have a suprise for Kovac...I honestly don't know. He too, needs more adventure and to kill some things.
Dhatzu Dhatzu was created kind of in a whim. A friend was going to join the site so I made a PC to play with her, then she backed out. But I wanted another player to give me the opportunity to RP with more people, so I fleshed him out. He was rather flat and undeveloped, though I was excited about him having Akajia's mark. I struggled with who this guy was and I still am. I am still searching for the Dhatzu in me. But a dear, and devious, friend helped me come up with a plan for our devoted young acolyte, that will lead down a dark path...fun . Dhatzu is rping with some fun folks that I hope will become entwined in his life.
Chat I love it...and hate it. Chat itself is an addiction. When I started, I had never really been to a chat room, and avoided Mizahar's. I am not a talker, uncomfortable in crowds and conversations. Jen, in her intrepid effort to draw me out of my shell, encouraged me to go into chat. It fascinated me. I could instantly talk with people of all ages from all over the world. I have made so many friends in chat. I kind of went off the edge, and made a fool of myself a lot...I guess I still do. In the beginning days, chat was more intimate, with only a few players and staff. We were close, knew each other and had a lot of fun.
Obviously Miza has grown. I don't know everyone in chat now, and they don't know me. We tamed our subject matter (which I agree with) as younger players had joined. But I still find myself logging in, meeting new people and making new friends. Now, the reason I hate chat is because I spend too much time in it. And, being in the minority of older players on Miza, often I can't relate to the topic of conversation, or it does not interest me. There is nothing wrong with that, we are all different. On occasion, I have lost my temper in chat. Uppity young players who think the world owes them everything, those who believe they know everything, and the one's who disrespect those who pour their time and effort into this place trigger a strong anger in me, and I will eventually spit out some frustrated temper tantrum and perform the virtual equivalent of stomping out of chat. Face it...I have been on this site and on this planet longer than you. I do know more than you. truth is... I have met people in chat who have experienced more in 18 years than I have in my whole life. Another hint...I will not tolerate disrespecting anyone's faith in chat. Jesus jokes are not funny. Not every muslim is an extremist terrorist, not every christian is a hypocrite or wants to beat homosexuals. (please note, these are just examples, I recognize we have a variety of religious, agnostic and atheistic beliefs among us...all potentially mockable.)
Family I am married with two teenage children. I love my wife. I probably don't deserve her. You may fight over me in chat...but she is the only one that really has me. In fact...she would beat the crap out of you any day over me. Almost 18 years and she still loves me, go figure. She is mine, all mine, God-given and made for me.
I have great kids. They are good kids. You may say I am naive, that they are doing things behind my back. You are wrong. Just because you are doing them doesn't mean mine are. How do I know? I have my ways . Not all parents are like the idiots television loves to portray. We still do things together as a family, we have fun and laugh. Do I embarrass them in public? You bet, its my right. Do I intimidate potential boyfriends? Not on purpose, but somehow they are still afraid. That makes me happy. Do they screw up? Sometimes, sometimes they just confess. "There is nothing hidden that will not be seen." Lazy? Yes they are, they are my kids after all. But we shower them with love, talk to them, we get into their lives.We have a ball together, and I would not trade them in for anyone, even a Von Trapp kid.
Geez..this is huge, I better stop. This is what happens when you post to your scrapbook once a year. If you made it this far, thank you. Its nice to know someone cares enough to know what I think. |