I myself am in a relationship with someone "transitioning," so to speak, to a male physically. As you mentioned he was someone born with a female sex but male gender, and Monty hit it pretty much right on the nail on the issue.
This is obviously deeply traumatic. If I had a woman's body, I know I couldn't stand it, girls being icky and having cooties and all that.
And I can say that in this society that it really is hard. For the both of us. I can't begin to explain the fear that's present constantly, no matter where we are. There are just so many ways that the narrow minded people in our small town can and do see it and so much potential for them to pick at it. For one we're ridiculed by homophobes ignoring the whole thing and ignorantly claiming it as two women being together. Then of course transphobes who pick at him for the whole principle and throw homophobia over at me for being with him. And of course so many who seem desperate to try to convince him and themselves that its all a result of some psychological thing or a phase that can simply be "fixed" or "cured," as if its a freaking disease.
I wish I could say that we ignore all of that and have "come out" regardless but I can't. Only just this year he finally came to his family about it and they've come to be incredibly accepting. My own family however is viciously homophobic, to say the least, and I can't even bear to think what their opinions would be on transgenderism. Monty also mentioned disowning. It's pathetic to admit that that and even excommunication are at the height of my own concerns. I'd like to think I wouldn't care about either of those two, and that my fears are over exaggerated, but I'd only be lying.
I really do wish I could get through people's heads everything Tock said. I have seen first hand how painful it is to feel something inside that's the complete opposite of the outside, and having to put on a mask to hide it. Depression and suicide rates alone are so hugely effected by all of that. If society could have any sort of empathy and just imagine that feeling there'd be a lot more understanding and acceptance. But as it is far too many will continue in hard headed ignorance and refuse to let in any other sort of perspective or way of thinking. And too many still will continue with pursuing others for it, leading so many to remain trapped by fear.
Frankly I don't get it. I really don't. Even if you're firmly set against it all for religious beliefs or what have you, what business is it how other people run their lives? I think a huge problem in this world is that too many people are overly occupied with what everyone else doing as apposed to trying to lead their own lives and learn and grow and contribute. So much time and money is spent on debating over gay marriage. Meanwhile we've got economies going to the dumps, revolutions going on, and millions of people starving unemployed, destitute, abuse of every sort, underground sex and slave trades...
But oh no. A man marrying a man? A woman marrying a woman? Holy. Freaking. Crap.
Oh and I have to say. Like any relationship we've got our issues, but he is more of a gentleman than any other "straight" or "sexually technical" guy I have ever personally known.