73rd of Summer, 513 AV
God, the walk through the city tonight had been so nerve-wracking. He used to feel in danger when he went through the fortress, but Aoren convinced him away from that fear. It wasn't like Ravok, here. In fact, it was probably a lot worse for a person like him. Someone who defied the strict vision of the city with all of his choices. The nerve-wracking part of all this wasn't the usual fear of strangers who he didn't know, but the one person in Syliras who he was well acquainted with. A man who he totally abandoned for months in order to fulfill obligations he didn't even tell him about. The last second decision to go away was something he made with little consideration, and he'd felt regret for what he did from the moment he left the city. And yet he didn't say anything, send any letters, or try to communicate with Aoren in any way. Because he was lazy. And that was the most ridiculous thing, to him; he couldn't even take the time to do that one thing.
You could tell he'd been beating himself up over this. He had no more Lheesi with him, and none of the other people, either. So, he'd been bashing on himself to his lonesome, all the way back to Syliras, and into his crappy little apartment. And eventually, to Aoren's place. The man was dressed up as he had always been; with simple, loose clothing, very informal. He did noticeably look a bit different, though -- after all of this time traveling, he looked worn down. His hair was a mess, his bangs running down to his eyes, and the rest looking as if it had been visited by some vicious wind torrent. Yeah, he wasn't going to be making the best impression here.
The thing was, every day he didn't come to see Aoren, his own feelings about... well, himself, became more clouded. He felt like a coward, hiding away simply because his excuses wouldn't be good enough. He didn't want to go back to see the man just to see he'd found someone else, or that he was infuriated with him. That he'd reject him. This humiliation was exactly why it took so long to come to this point. Well, that and having to travel back to the city, which sucked, by the way. Even more than when he came here the first time, as instead of excitement for a new life, he felt like he was just trying to conclude the life that could've been.
The former Ravokii, and... Aoren's former lover, came up to his door. His heart felt so heavy it could fall through the earth, but he was not going to shy away any more than he already had. He knocked three times, each knock rippling through his body. Caesarion felt... like this was a huge mistake.