Closed The Creation of Feeling: Part III (Edreina)

[Razkar]

39th Day of Fall
20th Bell

He learned that, trite as it sounded, the key to succeeding was to stop trying. It was almost like... falling asleep. If you concentrated on it, tried hard to consciously do something that only you(r) unconscious would accomplish, you'd just lie there with your eyes open. But once you let go of that objective, and lost that grip on reality...

"Meditation is key to a new practitioner's ability to conjure shields. While a somewhat passive discipline, Shielding does require a lot of focus in early stages; willing djed from the hidden corners of the body takes effort, and unlike many other magicks, Shielding needs that djed summoned and formed into one, solid barrier.

The first step is location. Somewhere tranquility and calm can be found. Lack of noise is, of course, most preferably, so there are fewer distractions. Then close your eyes, and find a place of peace.

That is a somewhat simplistic description, so I will clarify: anyone, even those born and raised amid turmoil, have moments of peace. Memories of clarity and tranquility, even if they are but ticks. Find that memory in your mind. See it, recapture it with every detail. Breath slowly and easily, taking each mouthful deep down and releasing it slowly through your nose.

Soon you will find you are becoming more sensitive, but now the true purpose of [i]focus comes into effect. Do not try to latch onto the feeling like something physical! Allow your heart's beating to lower. Imagine yourself floating on water. That feeling of weightlessness, as though your mind was drifting from the body?

That is your aim, and your destination, for in that place is djed. Immaterial and yet essential, it is that which drives all life, from crawling worms to the turns of seasons... and it cannot be so easily accessed as a man pumping a well."[/i]

He'd devoured the words over and over again that day, presenting a strange sight during the caravan's breaks: the dusky and steel-festooned warrior, hunkered down on Mrrko's back chewing an apple from one hand, eyes never wavering from the tome in the other.

It seemed simple, though, when it was read in print. By the time camp was struck again and night fell, he was a feverish little (well, not little) bundle of Myrian nerves aching to put the dull, musty theory into exciting practice.

"Petching... shyke!"

For all the good it was doing him, unfortunately.

He sighed and lowered his hand, previously held palm out towards that mocking, intractable fucking lantern. It's light still filled their tent, not dimmed or dented even a little by... ah, who was he kidding? By nothing at all.

"The book said that even rank novices like me should be able to at least block light," Razkar said, growling his annoyance at the offending hand, back in the lap of his crossed legs, "But me? Huh. As much wyrd in my hands as..."

He left the sentence unfinished, perhaps because he couldn't think of the right metaphor, more likely because he knew he was full of shyke. Razkar knew he had wyrd in him; his training with The Flux proved that.

Djed was life, and life as djed; the eternal and unbreakable circle of the world. But manipulating it... Goddess... even when he'd first picked up a blade, that first morning when he was barely even knee tall, and the hunk of sharpened steel had seemed an alien an artifact as a clockwork timekeeper to a Yukman, he had not felt so...

"No." He said, jaw setting, taking strength from his own damn stubbornness and... someone else. "That is easy, to make despair. No..."

Razkar turned a little, glancing over his shoulder at Edreina, peeking over the edge of "The Basics Of Shielding" with her wide blue eyes. Goddess... just the sight of her withered his self-loathing depression to a bitter mote of... and then it was gone.

"We worked too hard..."

Razkar straightened his posture and looked at the lantern. He closed his eyes... the sky of Taloba... blue and bright and rare through the endless canopy... he remembered sitting under a hole in it staring up on a balmy day and watching clouds and birds drift and pinwheel across the azure...

The Myrian felt his mind... disconnect. Was this his soul? Or was it his djed? He could... feel... muscles and strength beyond and under his own... so strange, was this what-

Stop it. Stop trying to understand and control all, boy. Just let it feel you...

Slowly, with his eyes still closed, the Myrian raised his hand... and imagined invisible veins and arteries flowing with sparkling incandescence... leading up his arms from his torso... to the palm of his hand...

Focus. See what you wish to create. Nurture and bring it to life as you would a work of art...

... and imagined a shied clear and purest glass, unknowable to the eye... but slowly blocking the lantern from their half of the tent...

[Edreina]

Edreina watched in curious silence, occasionally turning to a new page in the spell book whenever inspiration struck her. Perhaps the answer lay here, no here, or maybe even here! And so, when the light of the lantern dimmed and flickered, she all but started in surprise. But, as quickly as the illusion had appeared, it faltered and the lantern resumed its original insolent blazing.

A sigh left her lips. She was not disappointed by his progress, but his lackluster results. It would just take time, she remembered, knowing that her own skill in hypnotism had barely grown despite her own training. No matter how hard she worked, she felt like there was something missing, some gap in her knowledge. Knowledge... for some reason, her mind latched onto that word, turning it over and over again. There was a passage she needed to find... something about it...

Would Razkar notice how triumphant she sounded in his state of focus? Thin fingers tore through the pages, blue eyes moving quickly, glinting in a way that would have reminded her of the small, glowing beetles they had seen in the mountains last season. Finally, she found it and a grin split her face.

The best way to create a shield is to imagine it is something with which you are familiar. If you can imagine a real, tangible object with which to relate the look and feel of your shield, it will be easier for you to create.

For example, a woman skilled in weaving silk into the finest cloth would imagine the way that the fabric moves in her hands as she spins it and weaves it, crafting it. From there, it would be as simple to her as throwing the fabric over what she wanted to shield or imagining that she was forming it into a vestment to protect her body.

A sculptor would be able to feel the density of their shield in their hand as they worked with it, forming it so that it was exactly as they pleased. From there, they could imagine the clay hardening, drying, and then serving a particular purpose.

It all comes down to the strength of what you feel you are creating.

"I think I may know the problem..." she mused aloud before blushing and turning to address the Myrian properly. The book was turned in her hand so that fingers along the inner spine held it open to the proper page and then the digits of another hand indicated the passage. "You need to be familiar with the shape you're trying to create. It makes a stronger metaphor," the word may not have been entirely right in the context, but it felt right to her. "You need to be imagining something that you're more comfortable with... An actual shield, the leaves and foliage of Falyndar..." Blue eyes hesitated and the words ceased as she fixated upon a single object.

"Your cloak... You made that yourself! Surely you can imagine crafting a shield that shares its properties in your mind!" The excitement in her eyes was tangible in the gentle quaking of her limbs. How wonderful it felt to be able to help one who had taught you so much!

[Razkar]

Well... you surely didn't have any other ideas.

The Myrian's lips curled upward and inward in that universal look of reflection, turning over her inspiration in his mind. A cloak? As a shield? Surely that wouldn't work... you wore a cloak, after all. But... familiarity... yes, he remembered reading that in The Basics. He closed his eyes as the words swam from memory and surfaced before them...

"Familiarity is one of the bench marks to forming effective shields. When one hears the word, one assumes the broad, flat weapon of war, attached to an arm. But Shield formed by djed are not bound by physics and material; they are limited only by the ingenuity of the wielder.

Find a form you are comfortable with; something from your memory or your trade. Draw a clear line between intangible djed and the very real barrier you need to form. The mind will slide into that groove like a well-oiled lock, and once practiced in earnest, such formations will come more and more naturally."

"Like the Cloak of Fallen..." Razkar muttered to himself, giving Edreina a quick wink of thanks before turning. "Let's see..."

He faced that damn candle again, and then forced that combative mindset from himself (not an easy thing, being what he was). Razkar crossed his legs and placed his hands on his knees, breathing slowly... easily... feeling each breath flow into him, fill him... exhaling it...

He remembered each of them. Every scalp he'd taken. Dozens. Scores. Enough to craft a garment that could be used as a blanket or poncho in a pinch. But now... he concentrated on the shape of it... the texture... the way the air caught it when he rode or ran...

Razkar raised his hands out in front of himself, palms up... and he paused. Butterflies? Pah! There were locusts in his stomach now, all gnawing and buzzing ravenously, eating up what little confidence he had in this art so different to the simple one of swinging steel. But he'd tried so hard... and so had Edreina. She'd aided him, advised him, comforted him and bolstered his flagging confidence more than once tonight.

Not for you alone, boy. You're not an island anymore...

Razkar's hands closed together, bunched lightly into fists... and he felt the air shimmer... before realizing it wasn't the air itself. It seemed to be emanating from him, giving substance to the empty atmosphere he grasped-

Only in his mind he held the top of his Cloak, crafted now not from dead and vanquished skin and hair, but energies celestial and infallible. He imagine them flowing down between his closed hands, saw them in his mind's eyes, hanging down before him-

-and spread his arm wide, hands still clasped as if drawing a curtain from before him to the side, drawing his cloak across the tent-

-and gasped as darkness abruptly crashed over them.

Razkar heard similar from Edreina, suddenly torn from her beloved tomes by the cruel absence of light. Though it was not a perfect absence. The shield he "held" was...

"... by the Goddess..."

Never had the young male had such works to his hands nor his name. The Shield didn't seem to be made of anything; it simply was, and what it was, was blocking the light. The lantern flickered around the edges of it, poked through swimming holes of djed in the "cloak", for his work was far from perfect... but he'd blocked it, willing his shield to halt the blaze from the lantern...

A giddy, almost childish chuckle coughed from his throat, turning into a giggle as Razkar turned to his lover. His face was split in a grin of sheer joy, the unknowable pleasure of the ignorant given enlightenment, no matter how minor it might be.

"I... I did it!"

And like that, the shield collapsed.

[Edreina]

OOCShykeshykeshykeshykeshyke... least it is moving forward.
When darkness crashed over them, Edreina worried for an instant that she had nodded off asleep. A quick shake and his gently exhaled words proved that she was still entirely conscious. No. The darkness had arisen because, finally, Razkar had managed to craft a shield.

Moving closer, she could see subtle flaws in it - cracks, thinner areas, and areas that wavered - but it was a definite start for him. She was peering over his shoulder when he turned to her, so close that their noses touched. The instinct to kiss him seized her and she would have had the shield not failed an instant later. The return of light caused her to lurch backwards but her smile remained.

"I'm very proud of you, Raz..." she said, setting the book aside.

---

As Razkar continued to practice, Edreina lay in silence, staring up at the canvas ceiling of the tent. Thin fingers drummed out a playful tattoo on her stomach and she hummed a gentle melody. As she lay, her life started to spill out before her eyes, appearing on the canvas in swatches of moments. Most recent ones were the most common as she reviewed important instances, ones that concerned the Myrian warrior even more so. "What do you want out of your future, Raz?" She asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Her own future was a far off horizon that a mortal mind could not fathom. But, it was always nice to dream with another.

[Razkar]

"In matters of djed, size is relative. Size is perception, formed by physical realities and limitations. Which is not to say that djed has utterly and completely no limits: but the idea of them, like the idea of size, means far, far less.

Could you, as a novice, build a shield around a whole city? Of course not, and attempting so would kill you. But say that something far more important than a city was in the very palm of your hand: no larger than a walnut, perhaps? Well, then you could create a shield for that, surely.

A city or a walnut. They are the same, and different. The only true separation is the experience and control needed to shield either one. Remember this in your endeavors."

Razkar wasn't much for barbarian philosophy (besides, it sounded cribbed off the Myrian thinker Mer'Sta, to his mind), but he appreciated the concept... and further liked the idea of thinking small so he could one day think big with so little ease.

Hence him staring intently at the half-eaten sausage in his hand. A feast for thousands, if you were fleas, but to him? A mere prop. Ah, quite a nice exercise in the relativity of-

Enough of that. Peace. Emptiness of mind and the vague focus found there.

So he closed his eyes, for staring was too... real, an idea. Djed was real, and yet unreal, to Razkar's mind. An invisible series of arteries and channels of power that with years of practice could mimic the powers of gods? Many Myrians still refused to believe in such things. And yet, Razkar had seen, with eyes unmarred by blind faith nor narcotics... he knew the power was there, just under his skin, between the marrow of his bones.

A slight smile touched his lips. He focused on that idea. Loosened the grip his ears and eyes gave him on the world... imagined the sausage, still hot and greasy in his hand... saw his hand in the space behind his eyes...

Calm... peace...

A tingling. A vague shaking. Razkar pressed one hand over the other, making the sausage vanish, and fancied he could press his "cloak" over the fatty little treat. All he needed to do was... tuck it on one side of his palm... and then...

Edreina might frown as she saw her lover fiddle with invisible fabric with his eyes closed. But her keen senses, more aware of djed and its likes than his were, could better see the logic than any other observer...

Razkar breathed deeply and opened his eyes... pulling a tiny fraction of his "cloak" from one side of his palm to the other, over the sausage-

Hide from sight. Cover and protect it.

-and he saw it... vanish. Razkar's eyes widened a fraction and he fought to keep a grip on that peace that was enabling this. He could see through the shield, right down to his palm... but the sausage was gone. Well, from his eyes, anyway. He could still feel it right where it was, but so small was the shield that there was less space for mistakes and imperfections. Smaller canvas, lower risk, and now there was only an odd, perverse difference in thickness, like a soup bubble doubled over on itself in places.

Razkar held it for as long as he could, until the tingling and aching in his hands grew to be too much, and then... he inhaled... whispered to himself, "Away."

The sausage reappeared, rippling back into his vision like a conjurers hidden flowers. Slowly, he lowered it, and stared at the fire with bright and drunken eyes. Two shields. Two shield in two bells... he surely was making-

"What do you want out of your future, Raz?"

The male stiffened like he'd just walked into an obvious ambush: he face took on that queer look that mixed calm resignation and a flash of fear. Oh, gods. He knew that tone. She wanted to have "A Talk". About the future.

Stop over-analyzing, boy. She wants to talk and you've been staring as flames and meat all night. Besides... it's an interesting question.

"What do I want out of it?" He said, turning to her and chewing down his sausage (never miss a chance to eat, quoth the professional soldier), mischievous glint in his eyes as he settled down next to her. "Hmm... odd way to think it. Not like future is some store you can buy what you-"

An elbow in his ribs stopped his (heh) ribbing, and he ended his words with a chuckle instead, turning to face her, one forearm made as a pillow under him. He thought for a whole and then spoke.

"Same as I always wanted, for the most part. My prowess to increase. Challenges to be faced and overcome. Glory won for Blessed Myri."

That was the answer for any Myrian, after all. A lifetime of hardship, death, war and combat, ending in your own death. For centuries, that had been how they'd lived, and lived well. But instead of satisfaction, there was a shred of doubt tinging the male's words now. He shifted, looking away for a moment.

"But... other things are on my horizon, too. I did not plan on you, after all. I am now learning the works of the wyrd. The Flux and Shielding, the Power of Bones... I would like to master these, like I have my blades." He sighed again, shrugging as best he could lying down. "And... you. You are in my future, now."

He let the simple, obvious statement sit in the air between them and take on more facets than either one of them dared give voice nor shape to. What did he mean by that? Sex? Companionship? A joining before a priest? Children? A life made together, either on the waves, in the jungle... or somewhere entirely new?

So many possibilities.

"I do not know what I want from the future." Razkar said finally, conciliatory tone in his voice, like a student giving a lame answer to a question demanding true insight. "But my constant in it is you. There are... other things. There always are. A year ago? Pah... I would not have seen you in it, nor learning to make shields or laying in the Wildlands. But the future came, anyway. It always does, my love. Better to ask what the present can be used for."

The Myrian shook his head at his pretension and kissed her nose, grinning.

"And you, hmm? What does the mighty mage-to-be see in her brightest of futures?"

[ooc=OOC]Oh, shut up, woman. You know not your awesome...[/url]

[Edreina]

He could dodge her question, but he could not dodge her elbow as it assailed his ribs, especially not at such close quarters. As he turned to lay facing her, she nudged the lantern's shutter with her toe, now that it was not in use, leaving them in a gentle darkness.

When he stated what he wanted out of life, Edreina noticed something... different. It was almost as if he was reciting a written piece instead of speaking from his heart. The words had been beaten into his mind in some way or another, perhaps even by himself; the young woman found herself wondering if his answer was true, or reflex.

His next words sounded far more natural, and Edreina found herself blushing faintly near the end. Each item he mentioned sounded more personal to him, including his mention of the fair redheaded maiden. Her hands rose gently to caress the planes of his face, fingertips traipsing over the fierce bone structure that gave Razkar so much character. A gentle smile turned up the corners of his lips as he continued to speak, warming her heart without even meaning to.

But, the warmth did not last too long. Her face fell as she realized that just as quickly as she had appeared to him, she could be torn away in only a few days' time. But, he was right... It was best that they focus on that moment instead of toiling in hopes of a future that went exactly as planned. Nothing ever went as planned, not when the gods' fingers could so easily fall into their paths. Who knew what Lhex had planned for them or where Tanroa would take them.

And then, the question was turned on her in a flash. Her fingertips jabbed at his ribs at so lofty of titles bestowed upon her, grin parting her lips despite so minor an annoyance. "If I manage to hold on to you past our arrival in Zeltiva," she murmured with painful honesty, "I see you in my future of course." Slim fingers retreated as she curled closer to her chest, scooting higher up the bedroll so that she could pillow her arm as he did.

"I hope to one day master Hypnotism and maybe Auristics," she tensed lightly, thinking of the damned tome whose secrets still managed to evade her. Perhaps, as she had learned Hypnotism, she would have to seek someone to teach her Auristics. "I hope to be stronger and smarter than I am now, so that if you are still in my future I can stand as your equal and, if not, I can forge my own path across this world..." Oddly enough, her thoughts did not stray to returning to the Anchorage or even the Suvan. "I hope to see this world, as much of it as I can. Every culture is so different if the small bits that drift across the Suvan are any indicator. I'd like to see why that is..." Lightly she shrugged, brushing her hair out of her face and over her shoulder.

"Razkar... would it be possible for me to see Falyndar one day? I mean..." she sighed, looking vulnerable for a moment. This was one thing she worried over, what would become of them if they were able to remain together. Living on the Sea would be torture to him; his desire to return home was so much stronger than hers. But, with her being so... different... would that be possible?

"I know I'm different from what your kind think embodies strength, and hell, I'm a outsider! Your people don't seem to be the most welcoming sort," her eyes twinkled sheepishly up at him, hoping that such a remark would not receive any cynicism in response. "But I would love to see your forests... your city of Taloba and the glory of Myri as it is meant to be seen. I hope that when that time comes I will be strong enough to hold my own. But, at the same time, would bringing me there be worth it? Would... would they scorn you because of me?" He had, after all, left the jungle arm in arm with one of their own. It was possible that returning with her would make him a traitor of sorts and Edreina could not imagine seeing him tortured in such a way.

In a strange moment, one common in the late hours of night, another possibility came to mind. What if, no matter who he chose, they all ended up together? It was not uncommon among her own people for threesomes to appear as, instead of being torn between two, someone found that both of their possible partners also wanted to partner with one another. Perhaps... if it saved them all heartache and she was somehow able to find an appeal in Ayatah - though, with Razkar's description she doubted that such would be hard - they could join as a trio instead of creating a rift. It was a far fetched idea to say the least and it would mean having to share Razkar's affection, but it gave her a tick of hope; if her own people could do it, maybe she and these foreigners would be able to as well.

Again she sighed, and this time she moved closer to him until their noses touched and her hand could occupy itself in his inky hair. The texture was so different from her own, just like the man who wore it. "No matter the future, Razkar, I hope to be at your side..." The whisper seemed to tear at something within the Svefra's very soul. Spending a long period of time with any partner went against her Svefran nature, but it was what felt right to her. Tradition be damned, her heart would be her guide and her soul her compass. The future was too far away for her to worry so.

[Razkar]

Razkar risked a low chortle at the mention of his Edreina astride the worlds of hypnotism and auristics like some djed-imbued colossus. It certainly was amusing, but how much whimsy was there in such an image? Her skills with djed at the moment were the barest of saplings, with little in the way of substance...

... but he knew better than most what saplings grew into, given time and patience and sustenance.

Then her tone crept over to returning home. Not just home for her, but his home... with her. The smile didn't leave his face, but a frown joined it. How strange it was, and traitorous, that only after leaving his homeland did he begin to despair in ways of his people. They were proud, strong, fierce; no race in history had ever conquered them. In the modern age they were unified under Myri's light and perhaps one of the most peaceful realms in the world.

They'd slaughtered all other races, after all, save for the Dhani. And that was the problem.

How would they regard her? As a barbarian? As my whore or... slave? Would they ever see her as anything but inferior? She meant her words in jest but they are deadly serious: my people scorn the different and what they scorn they destroy...

Then a new thought crept into his mind, and he turned to her with his smile renewed and expanded. He nuzzled her face until the same cracked her brooding lips.

"Well, four things work in your favor, my sea lily. First, you are strong. You endure and your survive, even in the face of horror and the jungles-" he stressed the word, separating forever in her mind the weak and sparse "forests" of the wider world with the teeming and impenetrable "jungle" of his own "-wrath, you would overcome. My people would respect that. You are smart. Perhaps not the scroll-wisdom of scholars and thinkers, but a keen, and observant mind."

He cupped her chin and kissed her, wry and knowing glint in his eyes.

"Not much escapes you, Edri. Do not think that has escaped me. For the third... you love me. You do not stay with me for protection, or to leech my skills, nor because I am some novelty whose value will wane or be easily replaced. You adore me, you are loyal to me... and such a thing is deemed precious, even by the savages of Falyndar."

The last words were choked with a wry cynicism, but there was a grain of humor in it. Considering his company, after all, Razkar had little to fear of barbarians making stupid assumptions. But, Edreina soon realized, he'd left something out... and then the wearied sigh of countless Myrian males throughout the centuries escaped his lips as he settled back onto their bedroll.

"And besides all that... you're a female." A horizontal shrug followed by a flash of teeth in the darkness. "That always helps with the Children of Myri..."

[Orion Michaels]

Razzle Award Skill XP Earned Lore Earned Shielding +2 Learning Technique: Don't Focus on It Meditation +1 Magic: Relate it to something you know Philosophy +1 Shielding: Tasking against light Research +1 Barbarian Philosophy -can- be Useful Desiring a Shared Future With Edreina Ina Award Skill XP Earned Lore Earned Research +1 Growth Takes Time Teaching +1 Magic: Relate it to something you know Interrogation +1 Asking Poorly Timed Questions Desiring a Shared Future with Razkar Witty Remark Here Nice thread, guys. Don't forget to remove it from the queue or edit your post to reflect the grade. If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, please send me a PM and we can figure it out.