Just Say When

by **Taurina** on March 20th, 2018, 4:52 am

Early Evening of the 20th of Spring 518

'Taurina, you are stronger than you know…'

'But we are stronger together…'

'You will one day learn that you’re never alone…'

What pretty lies he had told her. What a pretty world he had let her dream up. Strength, power, togetherness. They were Drykas… Drykas. She was Drykas. He had told her that time and time again. Proven it to her. Made it so when she had not believed it so. What did it even mean? What weight did that even hold? He had been Drykas too. He had been a Drykas longer than she, grown up as one, and yet… Yet, she was here and he was gone.

'You will one day learn that you’re never alone…'

Gods… What a beautiful lie. So easy to believe. So easy to think that they would have all of eternity. So easy to think that she had all the time in the world to tell him how she really felt.

'… We are stronger together…'

She was so tired of being alone. Alone and tired. Tired and alone. Miserable.

Taurina swished the drink in her glass. She did not know what it was, just that it was whatever the bartender had chosen to advertise for the day. The Ethaefal had not actually touched it. Just stared at it sitting on the table and swishing it around every once and awhile, thinking about drinking it.

The bartender was a Drykas. There was another here as well. Two of them. Fierce, bronzed, and windmarked from whatever time they had spent amongst the grasses. It had been like a slap in the face meeting them here. As if she could run away as far as she liked, but the grasses were still apart of her. She could never truly leave the past behind. There was always going to be someone or something somewhere to remind. To remind her of home, of her family, and of the one she had lost.

Taurina squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the space between her eyebrows. Gods, she was tired. So petching tired. And her head hurt. Why the petch did her head hurt?

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing sitting here all alone?” the voice was smooth, deep, masculine as it spoke a language she understood from somewhere above.

Eyes of caramel opened and the hand dropped away from her face. Taurina looked up and was met with a sight that she found -despite herself- undeniably beautiful. He was huge compared to any she had known before, but then again, they all were. The Akalak’s towered over any human male and were just as fit, if not more so, than the warriors in Endrykas. This one’s skin was a shade of deep purple that looked nearly black in this lighting. His hair was how she had noticed many wore their’s, shaven on either side with long plates beginning at the top and coming to just below his broad shoulders. It was his eyes that really caught the Ethaefal’s attention, however, they were a pale shade of gold. Gold… so close to the inner shade of Azmere’s left eye. Taurina swallowed, she had not been prepared.

The male smiled something calm and -almost- kind at Taurina’s reaction. He moved to come nearer, taking her not pushing him away as an invitation to come closer. Taurina did not move, did not answer his question, did not react beyond watching his every movement.

“Mind if I join you?” the male asked, and Taurina just nodded because she did not know how else to respond.

There was silence between them for a good tick longer than what was comfortable. The Ethaefal was too stunned, staring for longer than what was acceptable. The male might have been filled with words, but if he was it was not quickly made known. Maybe it was. Maybe she was just paying so little attention that she did not hear a single word he said. It would not have surprised her if that had been the case. It was just… those damned eyes.

“Is it common for many to have eyes like yours?” Taurina asked abruptly, nothing smooth or gentle about her delivery.

There was a ripple of confusion that passed over the male’s face before he leaned forward and met her gaze with his own. There was a question brewing in his face, but Taurina did not think it was the same one he ended up asking.

“It is not necessarily uncommon,” he answered her before a playful little smirk pulled at his lips, “why? Do you like them?”

Lips parted slight as words became liquid in her mouth. She did not even have a sufficient answer one way or another.

“… They’re… They’re very beautiful,” she admitted, her voice quiet but sincere.

The Akalak smiled something satisfied and alluring.

“I’m so pleased that you think so, coming from one as lovely as yourself that means something.” His words caused the Ethaefal to blush and turn her gaze away from his in a manner that was shy and unused to such attentions. “Would you care to dance?”

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

NoteBeginning dialogue from Summer thread: Absence of Light

-5 SM for small mixed drink

by **Taurina** on March 20th, 2018, 4:57 am

Taurina was no dancer. Not in the slightest. She had no idea what powers the male had wielded over her to get her to say yes to his request.

“I am not very good at this,” she warned him as he led her away from the hearth and towards the sunken dance floor of the Blue Bull.

The male just smiled and promised that he would not her allow her to look a fool out there. That he was good enough for the both of them, and that here it did not really matter anyway. Not when the music was thrumming and the bodies of fifty others were pressed up against you. It was meant to be fun, a release after a day’s work before the terrors of the night settled in. Likely, also, a more pleasant activity than whatever else the male had been up to or thinking about getting up to this evening. In this place that could have been one or two of half a dozen other things.

Taurina downed her drink in a long gulp before standing and allowing him to take her hand in one of his that made her feel absolutely microscopic in her earthbound form. Even her nighttime form would have been small compared to him, compared to all of them. By night she had always felt almost equal with Azmere and even, to some extent, Lodai as far as height went. It was not the same here. The Akalak had at least a foot and a half on her in height during the few remaining daylight hours, and the mass of him was something she rather not think about. She was tiny against him, that said enough.

“I got you,” the male’s voice was cool as they reached the dance floor and he took her in his arms, “trust me.”

Taurina’s voice caught like a butterfly in her throat. Trust him? Trust him… She had just met him! Yet… Yet… Those eyes. The Ethaefal nodded.

“Alright, I trust you,” she promised, and he smiled one of his gorgeous smiles.

His hands ran all over her, taking in the curves of her slight body as he spun her around and kept her up on her feet. There were what felt like a million bodies all around them. It was hot, sweat clung to her body and dripped from her face, yet there was a smile on her lips. She did not know if it was the drink or if she was truly enjoying herself. Regardless, she found that there was pleasure to be had as she got lost in the music and continued to move in a fashion that was clumsy and unknowing.

There was a moment amidst all of the movement that Taurina was truly able to let go. A moment, a single moment, when she laughed with a laugh that was unburdened by the cares of her world. When her heart did not feel like a million scattered pieces. In that moment the Akalak spun her, and she flew. She soared even, and felt able to do anything her soul desired.

But like all good things, that moment came to an end. And Taurina found herself pressed up against a male whom she did not love and did not want. Who was gorgeous and lovely and strong, but was not Azmere. How desperately she wished he was. How desperately she wished that her heart would stop hurting for the one she would never see again. She wished for him to return, but if he would not, if he could not, than she just wished to forget. To not have to remember until the pain no longer remained.

It was foolish and stupid and she knew it, but she did it anyway. She was willing to do near anything to get this hurting to cease. The whole point in leaving Endrykas had been to make a new life after all, to get away from all that made the aching worse. It was with those thoughts in mind that Taurina took the pretty Akalak’s face and brought it down to her own, pressing her lips to his in a way that was needy and rough.

He tasted like ash and alcohol. She decided that she did not care and kissed him harder.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

by **Taurina** on March 22nd, 2018, 5:03 am

“Yer’a piss poor kisser, ya know that?”

Taurina blushed something fierce and shied away from the male’s gaze. She had never kissed anyone before. Not in this life. Her and Azmere… they had never gotten that far. The closest they had come were the gentle kisses he had pressed into her head and over her face. Not that she had not wanted to or that the opportunity had never presented itself. It had… multiple times. She had just never taken it. Never listened to her heart, always came up with an excuse as to why she should wait. Why it was not the right time, that a better time would come.

How she regretted it now. How she regretted thinking they had forever.

The Ethaefal pulled away, arms crossing over her chest in an effort to make herself small and invisible, that blush covering the full of her face up to the tips of her ears now. She felt ridiculous and stupid. Only drunken fools kissed pretty strangers. Never before she had thought herself one of those, but time had a way of changing people. In this new land.. with all these new people and no one from home.. maybe she had changed. Maybe she was a drunken fool.

“Oh come now, I did not mean it in a cruel way,” the male tried to remedy the situation, his voice lighthearted and apologetic, “everything can be learned, everything can be improved upon. And it just so happens that I am an excellent teacher.”

“Um… I… um.. no thanks,” Taurina barely managed to get out before turning her back on the male and beginning to push her way through the crowd.

If he chased her, she did not know it. If he called out after her, she ignored him. The Drykas woman weaved her way through the dancing crowd, able to squeeze through the small spaces between people as they opened up. She was uncomfortably hot and that blush was still very present but beginning to fade by the time she reached the edge of the sunken dance floor.

A part of her, a large part, knew that she should leave. Should go find another place to spend the last couple bells of Syna-light. She was unsure why she had even come here in the first place. For a distraction. For something outside of her usual boring and lonely life. The Ethaefal sighed to herself, wracking a hand through her tangled hair and catching the edge of the wrap she had braided into it earlier that day. Off-white for the diamond clan. Taurina wrapped the unbound edge around her finger and released it, the beginnings of tears pricking at her eyes. No, she was not ready to go home and be lonely tonight.

Caramel eyes scanned the dancing crowd, unable to see that purple Akalak with the pale golden eyes among all the warm bodies. Taurina shook her head and made her way back towards the hearth. She was unsure what she had been looking for. If it was him because she wished to take him up on his offer or if she wanted to make sure he had not decided to follow her. Not that it mattered, it was not as though she had left. If he truly wanted to find her, he would without much difficulty. The Drykas ordered another drink, fully intending to drink this one down before it touched the table.

“I do apologize for my brother.” Taurina was halfway through her second glass of whatever the bartender had sent her way when the male approached her a second time. "He is not always the most graceful when it comes to matters of the heart.”

Features twisted in confusion at the male’s words, but Taurina could not figure out what exactly she wished to ask. Brother? What was the male talking about? It was the same male, of that the Eth was certain. His voice had not changed, though perhaps it was a bit deeper in tone, she could not be sure. Taurina blinked, unsure and confused. The male must have seen it and been used to it for he smiled.

“It is a long story, perhaps you will learn it someday. But for now, would you allow me to apologize?” the male offered, “give me a second chance?”

Taurina’s brow furrowed and her head tilted slightly. She was still confused, but the male was not unkind. His voice sounded warm and maybe even comforting. Perhaps that was the drink talking. The Eth looked down into her half empty glass, trying to think but not having any clear answers coming to mind. It felt as if the edges of her consciousness had begun to fray. Thoughts came and left, nothing solid but everything fluid.

“Alright,” Taurina agreed before thinking any longer, looking for an escape from all she felt.

The male was smiling kindly when the Eth drug her gaze back up to meet his own.

“Thank you.”

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

Note-5 SM for small mixed drink

by **Taurina** on March 25th, 2018, 3:11 am

As night loomed ever nearer, the pair of strangers left the tavern for a place of solitude where shadows would not find them. They walked down streets slowly beginning to be cleared of people as lamplights were lit. They talked of much, but not of things that brought pain. Nothing of the past or of the shadows that lurked through the city; nothing that exposed the woman’s bleeding heart. Instead they talked of things such as art and music. The male listened to the female ramble on about her work and the stories she had etched upon skin; and the female, in turn, listened to the male boast of his ability with blades which ended in him inviting her to come and watch him spar with another sometime in the near future. She had blushed and told him that she would think about it.

Whether it was because of him or the drinks she had consumed or a combination thereof, Taurina found herself at ease walking by his side. She found herself flashing smiles and catching laughter with the things he said. There was something about him that she found to be kind and attractive. Something about him that caused her not to think of repercussions or really of anything at all. Even his transgressions of earlier had been completely forgotten. There was nothing else in her mind besides the present, the setting sun, and the winding road before them.

How strangely easy it was to forget, to get lost in the moment, to not think of yesterday or tomorrow. To not think of who, exactly, she was hurting.

They went to his home where he built a fire and offered her another drink. Taurina accepted, but she never got a chance to drink any of it. She instead got lost admiring the home, a place that was far grander than most anything she had ever stepped foot inside. Endless was her admiration of the art on the walls and the stained glass windows that overlooked the Bluevein river. Syna’s rays had never looked so alluring as they did cascading through those beautiful windows.

It was those beautiful windows that Taurina was staring out of when Syna set and Leth rose. Her skin turned opalescent as her form began to change from one who was broken down and scarred to one who was beautiful and whole. An indigo gaze turned from the view to the pretty stranger who had brought her into his home, a curious glance in her eyes. She had warned him of what she was, of what night caused her to become. He had not acted surprised or appalled by the idea when she told him; he did not now either. Quite the opposite, he seemed stunned and entranced by who she had become.

“You were right… you are beautiful,” his words were breathy as he stepped towards her and balanced her face in his hands, “so beautiful.”

Those pale golden eyes roamed as he drank in the being she had become. His fingers, made rough from years as a warrior and weapon smith, were gentle as he ran them against her cheeks and through her lavender locks. That gaze in his eyes… starstruck and hungry. The Ethaefal was not really sure what it meant… until, that is, he made it clear. So oblivious she was. So inexperienced. So vulnerable.

He kissed her. First it was soft, gentle, but it quickly turned needy and rough. Taurina did not refuse him. She did not pull away or balk at the attention. Instead, she kissed him back. Her part was sloppy, weak, and unknowing, but he did not seem to care. He did not seem to care about anything but running those hands up and down the curves of her ethereal body… and she let him.

She let him because, despite the part of her that knew she should not, he helped her forget. He distracted her from all the hurt, all the loneliness and the doubt. Maybe it was not for forever, but it was for a moment. A moment where, for once, all the demons that plagued her were made silent.

… And how very sweet the silence was.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

by **Taurina** on March 25th, 2018, 5:48 am

There was color everywhere. Shades of purple, blue, grey, and black cast against the shadow covered walls that danced with the light of the flickering fire. His sheets were made of silk and his mattress was soft beneath her. The bed was made to fit him, one who still towered above her despite her taller form. Even now she felt absolutely tiny against him. Tiny, small, unimportant, inferior. Yet, at the same time, such pleasure that she had not remembered existed was to be had with him.

He made her ache for him with the things he did. He caused tension to grow and a build up of desire to form. Taurina was unsure if that was desire for him or desire to simply be satisfied. She did not know much, that was blatantly obvious. She did not know how to please him or what he expected from her. She did not even know how to react to the sensations her own body was going through as the muscles in her core became taunt and the sensitive parts of her trembled. He did not seem to mind her naivety, though. He did not seem to mind anything as he did as he wished and promised that with time she would learn.

There was nothing really beautiful about their time together. Nothing that spoke of love or any sort of connection beyond that of the physical. Taurina became so overwhelmed by the things he did, by the sensations he created, that all other thought left her mind. She was not thinking of home, of her family, or of Azmere as the stranger used mouth and hands to drive her over an invisible edge. She was not thinking of any of them as her body went solid and then turned to liquid all at once. As the sensitive parts of her were exposed and exploited for the pleasure of another.

They were all gone, buried, in the back of her mind where the mysterious child of her nightmares existed. All that existed here was her, the Akalak, and the crackling fire that continued to burn long past when the moans of intimacy ceased and sleep took over.

~

Dreams did not come that night. There was only darkness. Darkness and pain. Though what kind of pain, the Ethaefal was unsure.

It was Syna’s light shining through another pane of that beautiful stained glass window that woke Taurina up the next morning. She had already shifted, her caramel gaze opening to find herself in a room she did not know next to man she did not know. At first there was confusion, but it did not take long to put the pieces together. Even one as unknowing as she was not completely oblivious. Not when she woke up naked in bed next to a man who was in a similar state of undress. Not when the events of the night before were beginning to reform and make themselves clear in the recesses of her memory.

An entirely different kind of knot formed in the center of the Ethaefal’s stomach when she realized what she had allowed to happen. A part of her wanted to throw up, another part wanted to scrub off several layers of skin despite the fact that she was now in the wrong body. It was not as though the male was disgusting or she thought what they had done was repulsive, but she felt dirty now. Tainted. As though she had cheated on the one she loved. It did not matter that he was dead. It did not matter that he was never coming back and that she was never going to see him again. If by some miracle, some gods’ gift, he was not dead and did return… she had cheated him. She had failed him.

“Where are you going little darling?” the Akalak’s voice was tired as he spoke, just after Taurina had begun to get up. “It is early. Rest, sleep, you have earned it.”

Taurina bit down on the tip of her tongue and shook her head to herself. She was unsure what exactly he meant by that, but she decided that she did not care. She wanted to leave, get out of here, go home. That knot in her stomach grew when she realized that home meant the home where her heart had been buried, not the place she lived now. She wanted to run to Jasmine, Rufio, Lodai, and Asher. She wanted to reveal her transgressions and beg their forgiveness. She wanted to go home. But she could not. Not for a long time. Not until the hurt had stopped hurting, and she had just made it far worse. No… the plains could not be her home anymore.

“I have to go, got work.”

It was a lie, but not a big one. She could get to work this early if she wished it, there was always things to do after all. The Ethaefal went about collecting her clothes and slipping them on. Her light brown shirt and teal pants along with her quartz necklace and ankle boots. Lastly, she found her hair wrap in the room by the window where she had shifted. She picked that up frantically and pressed it to her chest, her piece of home. Her last remaining piece of Azmere besides the words she held in her memory.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured in pavi, the language of her family, in a voice so very soft as tears began to form, “I’m so sorry…”

And then she left, taking to the streets of Riverfall with no destination as she wondered when she had allowed herself to become so very foolish.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'