Krys had learned long ago how to snatch whispers from the wind’s gentle sighs. Miana. What a pleasant name. She only chuckled dryly as the others seemed to find something absolutely hilarious. The golden eyed lass was nothing less than utterly confused. Had she missed something? What was so funny? Her first instinct was self conscious. Did she have something in her teeth? No, that wasn’t it. It must be something else. Some subconscious wave that she was all too oblivious too. Oh well, it wasn’t the first time and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. She shrugged it off, for she soon realized that Drusilla was talking again.
‘Any thoughts?’
Oh shoot. What was she saying? Searching her own subconscious, Krys tried to remember anything she picked up. Something about dresses. And making beads. She only nodded. Yes yes, whatever Drusilla thought was best. She was certain she would be satisfied. Dully, she wondered what the masks would look like. Trying to stay connected in the conversation, Krys looked at Drusilla, realizing she had sort of been staring off into space. ‘Who would want to mess with an angry Symenstra? Or your sharp tongue? I only kid, Krys!’ At that, Krys couldn’t help but chuckle. Yes yes, she could easily talk the ear off of anyone. She was warned at an early age that with a tongue as sharp as hers, she better be careful not to cut her throat. She did not take much heed to these warnings. She embraced her loud thoughts, more and more as time goes on, she supposed.
Becoming transfixed on the spider’s hands as they weaved through the dek’s hair, any ghost of their previous conversation was blown away with the sighs of the wind, replaced with other subtle whispers. She hardly remembered what it was that they were talking about. But then Drusilla spoke, trying to be innocent, meaning well, but all she managed to do was tear open old wounds.
It bothered her somewhat that Drusilla spoke to her as if she knew nothing. Symenstra society was not entirely unknown to her. Surrogates and all that. But that was hardly a second thought, considering Krys was well aware that ru would have had no way to know of Krys’s knowledge. What really bothered her was that last sentence. Second to last sentence, actually. ‘It’s my personal job to make sure there are no other Symenestra here, no collectors.’ She really wanted to tell her off. Her mind was fuming at that sentence. ‘Don’t quit your day job, since you are not doing so well at your personal one.’ ‘You must be blind, because one was here not long ago, come and gone without a word from you.’ ‘Define collector. Define suffering. Define death. Because I know more than you think I do.’ But no, her mouth remained zipped. Suddenly, all that she could think of was him. All she could see was him. She looked out over the lake and all she saw was him as he fell into the water, angry, thrashing about with frustrated screams, standing, stepping out of the water, then laughing. And they laughed together. And all was good.
But that was over. That was gone. It was no more. And suddenly, in the stillness of the day, in the comfort of the moment, the gentle sighs of the wind suddenly turned into the thunderous roars of a tumbling waterfall pouring endlessly, the root of thousands of nightmares.
Krys stood. It was just too loud. She couldn’t stand it. She had to get out of there. She had to escape. All thoughts of dresses were gone. All thoughts of parties and friendliness and being social and moving on were gone. Her focus was shifted back to what she so desperately tried to release, and all at once she found it hard to breathe. She felt like the mountains were closing in on them, suffocating them, making her feel claustrophobic and exposed. “I… sorry, I just… I need to… I’m sorry.”
And that is all it took. She put her hand to her face to attempt to cover the rosy cheeks, gasping mouth and glassy eyes, making a brisk walk to the nearest escape, wanting nothing more than to return to the serenity of the four walls of her fortress of solitude in the Darniva Commonrooms. They wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t understand. When would the pain subside? Was a full year, almost two, not enough? No, it would never be enough. Time does not heal all wounds.