Why Do the Men Stray? (Ethan)

[Kendall Saarinen]

Everything in Kendall wanted to push away Ethan's arm. He was not sure why. Usually he would have done anything to have someone comforting him and giving him affection. He did not want it now though. It made him feel weak, like he could not take care of himself. He rolled his shoulders, hoping Ethan would take the hint to give him some space. Normally he would have loved a friend to comfort him but right now he just wanted to be left alone. Kendall listened to Ethan's poem. It seemed a bit harsh for a woman to be reciting to a child but who was he to judge? When the kelvic finished reciting the words Kendall opened his mouth to comment but Ethan was already talking again. He spoke of his wet nurse and how he thought Kendall should let go of his grief. He did not want to get short with Ethan. He had to admit he cared for the bird. Something inside of him caused him to snap at his friend though. Much like a volcano finally erupting. "Have you seen me cry once since we left entered the Northern Reaches Ethan?" His voice was sharp and angry as his mismatched eyes burned into Ethan. This was wrong and somewhere in the back of Kendall's head, he knew it. He was putting his pent up emotion somewhere where it didn't belong. "Since we stepped foot into Taldera I have kept from crying. I didn't even talk about Hadrian until just a few chimes ago and you didn't even respond. The talk about me wasting time, that wasn't a shitty little poem, that was me trying to tell you that I was hurting!" He was angry, even if he should have been. Ethan was an animal. A very intelligent animal of course, but an animal all the same. He could not be expected to understand the intricacies of human emotion, especially the raging emotions of a person torn between wanting to give into the pain of losing a lover and the need to be strong and stoic. "You do not understand what I am feeling Ethan. You may have charmed people to bed and even bonded to someone but you do not know what it is like to be in love. You don't know what it feels like to find someone who completes you and makes even the worst situations seem like they are nothing." That is when everything hit Kendall. He had wasted so much time with Hadrian. He had only been worrying about himself and his problems. He had missed out on the one person who he really loved and who loved him back because he was trying to chase the past. "I'll be in the tent dealing with my despair." He walked off toward the tent. "Don't bother joining me. I know you are content pretending everything is just fucking perfect and everything can just be solved by simply choosing to stop being upset. I don't want to let my despair bring you down since you have everything so fucking figured out."

[Ethan]

Ethan was taken aback by Kendall's sudden outburst. His emerald and obsidian eyes bore into Ethan. Seething with fury and pent up anguish. It made him feel guilty, and a shame. To know that he pushed him over the edge. Apologies and words of condolence came to mind but he was too stunned to do anything but stammer. That is until he said this. ”"You do not understand what I am feeling Ethan. You may have charmed people to bed and even bonded to someone but you do not know what it is like to be in love. You don't know what it feels like to find someone who completes you and makes even the worst situations seem like they are nothing."” The anger was plain in the Human's voice, by this time he was up and moving closer to the tent. For a long moment Ethan just sat there. Looking at the man he had called brother, his friend and one of the only Human's he trusted. He continued to speak but Ethan hardly heard him. As Kendall started to walk towards the tent, Ethan got up and followed. Quick, silent and enraged. ”I don't want to let my despair bring you down since you have everything so fucking figured out." Before he could say another word. Ethan spun him around. And sent his fist crashing into the man's nose. Without thinking, without hesitating, he lurched and kneed him in the stomach. Held him by the neck of his tunic and threw him to the ground. Is that all I am Brother!? He spat the last word venomously. ”Nothing but a seducer? Do I not understand love! Or is it that I am just an animal? Just a fucking Kelvic?” And there it was. The one thing he had feared all along. Through all the nice words and respect. He was just something to be pitied. A charity case for the Human's to feel good about themselves. Nothing but an animal that could sing and dance. ”You've crossed the line boy. Now I'm going to have to fuck you up.”

[Kendall Saarinen]

Kendall would have been a fool to think that Ethan would not retaliate to his harsh words. The man might have been a kelvic but he was not a pushover. He did not let humans treat him badly like others of his race might do. Beneath everything, all of the anger and pain, Kendall was sorry. He was conflicted but that was no excuse. The man's fist came flying against Kendall's nose as the blond tried to make it to the tent. "What the fuck is your problem?" He glared at Ethan, rubbing his nose. Blood spotted his fingers as he pulled them away. Ethan had a nasty punch, although Kendall wasn't surprised. The punch was a gentle tap compared to Ethan's knee slamming into Kendall's stomach. If the bird had wanted Kendall to listen he would have been smart not to knee him in the stomach. The blond laid on the ground, struggling to catch his breath as Ethan talked down to him. The words rang true to him and he felt bad about his outburst but he could not let Ethan better him. Not like this. There was something in Kendall. Something that had formed within him that horrible day over a year ago. He could not let people feel as though they were dominant over him. He simply could not allow it. He wanted to show Ethan that he shouldn't mess with him. Slowly, the blond got to his feet. His mismatched eyes glared forward. There was nothing he needed to say to Ethan. The Kelvic was right. There was a more pressing matter to attend to though. He needed to show Ethan that he could not just rough him up. He dove at Ethan in an attempt to knock him to the ground. It was then that he pulled back, punching the kelvic across the jaw. He was not used to people getting into fights over words. As a girl if he offended someone they fought it out verbally. Besides, he had been painfully kind since becoming a man. He had never dealt with one on one male disputes… that is until now.

[Ethan]

Kendall was shorter and smaller than Ethan, but he could still pack a punch. The blond raced forward and launched his whole body into punching the Kelvic in the jaw.. With a split lip he stumbled back and hit the ground. Before he could get up. Kendall was on top of him. ”Feisty thing are-” His mockery was interrupted by a crack to his temple. Seeing stars and laughing, he spit a glob of blood at Kendall. ”Going to have to hit me a little better than that girly.” Said Ethan, blood coloring his teeth a sickly red. Ethan lifted up as far as he could and punched Kendall in the jaw. Knocking him off and giving himself enough time to get back up. ”Come on Kendall you can do better than that can't you?!” Ethan backed farther away from the tent and fire. Pissed or not he didn't want them wrecking the camp. He knew this was wrong. Kendall wasn't his enemy, human or not he was still a friend. They shouldn't be fighting, but he couldn't forgive the slight. Not just yet. He needed to bloody the boy up a little more.

[Kendall Saarinen]

Kendall let out a small shriek of disgust when Ethan spit at him. He was trying to be tough but he could not hide his utter disgust with dirty and unsanitary things. He pulled back, wiping the spit and blood from his face. Looking down at Ethan he scowled. "You are gross…" No sooner did he speak those words did Ethan reel back and punch him across the jaw, knocking him off and onto the ground. As he laid on the cold ground his rubbed his jaw, looking up at Ethan. He was not going to let the bird get the most of him. He slowly got to his feet, his eyes trailing after Ethan. I was going to prove to Ethan that he was not weak. He would make Ethan respect him. Kendall did not notice that this was the same thought process he went through the day he was marked. That day he had wanted to prove himself through violence as well. It had not worked then, although it had caught divine attention, and it was most likely not going to work now. Kendall sniffled, wiping at his nose. "Yeah, I can do better." He eyed Ethan carefully. The blond was sure that the Kelvic was better than him at fighting but Kendall was also shorter and that could help him move easier. The fiery blond walked forward, trying to calculate what to do next. He felt a fire growing within him. He did not know much about fighting so he ran forward, his fist aimed at the Kelvic's stomach. If he could knock the wind out of him he might be able to get a kick in. If the punch did what Kendall expected it to his next action would be to attempt to kick Ethan in another attempt to knock him down. If he could get the Kelvic lower than him then his shorter stature would be less of a hindrance.

[Ethan]

Hatred and prejudice where a constant in the world. Whether you where Vantha, Human, Kelvic or a God. Someone was likely to hate you. But he didn't expect it from Kendall. Ethan was the most open of the group and perhaps the quickest to smile, but Kendall had always been the gentlest. He had shown that quality when they first met. How he talked to Ethan not knowing he was more than just a bird. Warning him against eating ash and trying his best to sketch him. Then apologizing when he failed. It made for a strange juxtaposition with the current situation. Kendall through his fist into Ethan's stomach. A good hit, but he needed to keep his wrist at a slight angle to get more knuckle in. Before Ethan could shove him off. A knee slammed into his thigh. Forcing him to let out a pained grunt. ”Big mistake girl.” He said angry and pained. Wrapping an arm around Kendall's neck. He got him in a reverse Headlock. Squeezing the blond to his chest. In quick recession, he punched the top of his head. Pouring his fury and spite into each blow. Both Kendall and Ethan, where gentle souls. One originally born from the gentler sex and the other raised to put brain before brawn. None of this fit. Such violence and anger, created from a few heated words? It was all superficial. Kendall didn't think less of Kelvics and especially Ethan. He was just upset at the absence of his long time lover and emotional foundation. Ethan didn't want to shed blood anymore than he did. None of this should be happening. With his mind absent. He was vulnerable long enough to knock to the ground. Hitting the floor with an audible thud...

[Kendall Saarinen]

Kendall let out a small squeak of surprise when Ethan caught him in a headlock. He had not expected that, although he really did not know what to expect. He had not been in too many fights. The blond struggled in fear that the Kelvic was trying to close off his breathing. "Get off of me Ethan." He practically growled as he tried to break free from the larger man's grasp. The blond let out a little yip at the feeling of Ethan's fist crashing into his head. Everything in him wanted to beg Ethan to stop. It hurt so badly! He could not let Ethan win though. The Kelvic would never respect him if he did. When the Kelvic finally let Kendall loose, the blond was able to knock him to the ground. This was it. He finally got Ethan right where he wanted him. Leaning down over him, Kendall readied his fist. "You didn't think I could do it but I finally get the best of you Layton…" Kendall's mismatched eyes shot open wide. He had just called Ethan by his brother's name. The same brother he had fought with the day Ivak had marked him. He did not know what to say. This fight was no better than his last with his brother. It was animalistic and only Ethan was entitled to be animalistic. "I…" Tears filled his eyes as he looked down at Ethan covered in blood. When once he stood angry and tough, not he felt scared and exposed. He wanted his brother back. Not Layton, Ethan. Without another word, Kendall grabbed the man in an embrace. He sobbed into his shoulder, forgetting completely about the fight beforehand. He could not say anything. He just cried, hoping he had not messed things up so badly with Ethan that he wouldn't even let him hug him. "I just want my brother back." One could not be sure who Kendall was talking about, although since he had called out Layton's name, one could assume it was him. "I'm so scared… I don't want to be alone again. Cathan's gone, Hadrian's gone…" His fingers gripped the back of Ethan's coat. "Please don't leave me. I'm sorry. You are all I have."

[Ethan]

Kendall was on top of him and before he could fight back. The other had his fist raised and ready to break Ethan's nose. The fight wasn't over but Ethan didn't see the point in continuing it. Pretty soon someone was going to get hurt, and he knew this fight was foolish. Better to let Kendall get his anger out so they could resolve it. Rather than wrestle in the mud. ”You didn't think I could do it but I finally get the best of you Layton… ” Kendall looked stunned, as soon as the words left his lips. But no one more so than Ethan. So I am your brother am I? But not the one you desire. He felt sick to his stomach. In days and years Kendall was older. But she was still so young. That didn't make the insult sting less. But it stopped him from striking her with the back of his hand. Before Ethan could speak. Kendall collapsed on top of him sobbing. He could feel his body shaking as he wept. Ethan didn't know whether to hold onto his anger or comfort his friend... ”I'm so scared… I don't want to be alone again. Cathan's gone, Hadrian's gone… Kendall said, between gulps of air. He needs me... The Kelvic realized. It was pathetic in a way. How humans made such a spectacle of their emotions. They would weep and tear their hair out in front of others. Not thinking about the consequences of such shows of weakness. But it was that vulnerability that made it... endearing. Ethan had only shown his emotions to those around him. When he trusted them with their lives or knew they would never have a chance to use them against him. He chose when to cry and how much to grieve. When Hadrian disappeared. He started to form plans on how to reach Avanthal immediately. Without shedding a tear or wasting time. It was this iron resolve that saved him so many times. Let him do what was needed. By putting his ego or feelings aside. He hugged his brother back, holding him to his chest. Firm but gentle. Letting him know he was safe in his arms. That he would never leave, nor would he let Kendall come to harm. He didn't care if it was pathetic or not. Sometimes you just needed to break down. And if Kendall needed too. So be it. If he wanted his brother back, so be it. Ethan wasn't going to let his feelings come before his friend.”I'm not going any where Kendall. You will always have me as a brother.” He said in a husky voice. Despite himself, his emotions where getting the best of him. And tears where trickling down his cheeks. He hugged his brother a little harder and let his emotions take hold. He could hear his masters teaching in the back of his head. Telling him how weak he was for letting others see his emotions. That he was better than this. That he was the master of his emotions, not the other way around. You had your wish Grimm. You made a creature smart and capable. Better than any Human or Beast. Smart enough to see you where a fucking fool. And capable of throwing away you and your teachings.

[Kendall Saarinen]

Through the tears, Kendall could feel emotion. Not his own, but Ethan's trying to claw their way out of his chest. The Kelvic struggle of animal instinct or human emotion. He wanted to be mad but emotion was getting in the way. He was pushing the anger down so he could take care of the blond and it was not right. "If you are mad, stay mad." The words were spoken a bit boldly as he laid against Ethan. "Show me that you are mad. Holding it back will create resentment. You need to let your anger out." The anger could have been from a number of sources. Kendall's little outburst, the fact the blond had called his by his brother's name, or even his long lost master. Kendall could not tell. It was not the nature of his mark. The story was not the concern, the emotion was. "Thank you Ethan." The bird would never be a replacement for Hadrian. No one could be. He wouldn't be a replacement for Cathan either. He was there for him though. Kendall's love was gone. There was nothing else to say on the matter. His efforts needed to be put where they belonged now. On his duties to Ivak. To bring forth, purge, and heal the emotions of others. Ethan would be interesting. He was not human. His emotions would be nothing like others he had worked with. His mismatched eyes looked at Ethan as if he was trying to sort him out. "There is something in you. You hold resentment for something. Resentment and anger." The words had a very good chance of upsetting the man. Animals liked to keep hidden what they locked away. They didn't like others nosing around in their business. "I can help you get rid of it…"

[Ethan]

”Do I Need to? Need is such a strong word Kendall.” He chuckled. The emotions caught in his throat making him cough. The Azenth was such a sweet boy and so passionate and eager to help. Even if he ruined the rather gushy mood. But Ethan didn't mind. They where acting like a bunch of old widows anyway. ”Sorry to disappoint. But, I have lived long enough obeying what people thought I [b]Needed.”[/b] He eased his words with a smile. Hoping not to hurt any feelings, as he moved Kendall aside and got up. Something wasn't right about Kendall being that close to him. There were still plenty of mixed feelings he had for the Blond. That didn't need to be further aroused. ”I'm proud of you Kendall. Not many people would of stopped so easily. Better men have killed son's and brother's in petty arguments.” Said the Kelvic, helping him up. ”But not you... And I'm sorry for your loss. I never meant any disrespect. I know you haven't had the most stable life. But be happy that your mother and father would be proud. If they saw what you prevented. And... Hadrian as well.” The Lammergeier was strong, up to a point. It still hurt to say his teachers name. ”But you should get some sleep. You fought like a man today. And those bruises and split lips will need to heal. I packed a couple bottles of wine in the saddle bags. It should help you sleep.” There where few times when Ethan showed how serious he was. But caring for his lovers and wards was one of them.