Montaine wrote:...now that I am wasting words on a rather useless...
Words are NEVER useless Monty! Shame on you! *wags a finger at* You of all people should know the beauty and power of words.
Doubly so when the subject matter is one of such great importance.
As such, rather than another rambling rant wherein I use words that Monty dislikes having in his scrapbook, I'll speak more intellectually, as is, on occasion, my wont.
(Plus I think Monty prefers my intellectual posts over my silly and joking ones.)
To me, when I hear people say the debate is about "the definition of marriage," I see that as an excuse. It's a way of communicating about it to avoid the real issue. The real issue being hate.
Prejudice is an age-old thing. Whether it be sexism, racism, homophobia, or whatever, people hate things that are different. There have been countless hate crimes committed, from verbal abuse, to physical acts of violence, to murder. I've lost count of the number of times I've read about an attack or a death that happened because the assailant hates something about the victim. On the specific subject of sexuality, just a few weeks ago I read about a lesbian couple in Texas that were both shot, one killed, for just this sort of reason.
I've spoken extensively in this scrapbook about how communication sculpts our realities. The way people communicate about this kind of issue is an example. I've read research journal articles about how communication "normalizes" immoral behavior. A strong example of this is one where the researchers studied the illegal business practices of a corporation and the investigations that took place after that company was indited. The internal communication among the employees was about how "everyone does it" or "it's just the way it is" or "its not against the law (because of a loophole) thus its not immoral" and so forth.
This type of communication makes people THINK that there is nothing wrong with their behavior, and allows them to do things that would otherwise seem immoral. When people later look at it from the outside, or possibly when the people involved look back on their behavior, they may later realize how wrong they were. But at the time, their view is sculpted and their perspective changed.
"Changing the definition of marriage" is just such a means of communication. People have a hatred for same-sex couples. I won't start theorizing about 'why' they have this hatred beyond saying two things: 1. People just plain don't like anyone who is different from themselves. 2. I once asked a coworker (who was against gay marriage) WHY she was against it... her response was "Because I don't want my children growing up in a world where that kind of thing is considered 'okay'." (I told her I didn't want my children someday growing up in a world where it WASN'T okay).
But the thing is, when you say to someone "I don't agree with this because I just don't like it/hate it/think it shouldn't be that way", they won't accept that answer. You're seen as prejudiced, and most people tend to agree prejudice is wrong.
So they find another way to say it. They say its about the "definition" because THAT way, instead of "going against it because they're prejudiced" they are instead "trying to preserve the meaning of something special to them".
See the difference? They attach a label to it, and that label changes how people view it. The person making the argument can seem like they're not actually prejudiced. Spread this far enough, get enough people to believe it, and it is "normalized" just like the immoral behavior of the people in the corporation I mentioned.
Monty, I started off this post saying "words are never useless... they have power." This is a prime example. People are out there who communicate about gay marriage in a way that tries to change people's views. They try to make people agree with their perspective by shrouding it with fancy terms that make them seem okay, and hides their actual immorality.
We need people to do the opposite. We need people to speak from their hearts, and express their true feelings. There is a real truth down there that is deeper and purer than the sculpted reality the prejudiced folk try to create. But it needs to be expressed in order to be heard.
Use your words, my friend. They have power, and the way you express them is extremely meaningful.
