[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on July 23rd, 2013, 12:05 am

Been a long time since I posted here! I've been doing a bit of philosophy - mainly epistemology, though I've gone a small way into ethics and other categories - when today I suddenly had a rather whimsical thought: what if I tried (and most probably fail miserably) to apply philosophy to Role-playing?

Lets just be clear here: we're talking about the thing involving 'confusing stuff that quite a few dead people discussed before their deaths', as one of my friends attempted to put it in a humorous way.

Alright, the 'is this reality/real life?' question first comes to mind. Normally, we'd say that this is fake, that Mizahar doesn't truly exist (physical existence 'somewhere'?), but upon thinking deeper, what if Mizahar is real? What if we are creations of the Gods of Mizahar, but we perceive ourselves as creating all this? Sounds ludicrous, but in certain religions God/Gods are viewed to be all-powerful - or powerful enough to do something like this. This is quite farfetched, as conjectures go.

So how do we know that this is true/false?

I'll leave you to think about it - this would be getting into the realm of knowledge and how do we obtain it, and there's simply too much for me to read, remember and formulate my own responses and craft my own theories.

Bah, I lost my train of thought. I'll try seeing it in a different manner.

The philosophy of science discusses falsifiability of a scientific theory. Basically, if some observation is true and would prove the theory to be false, then the theory is falsifiable. As opposed to non-falsifiable theories. Take Carl Sagan's 'Invisible dragon in my garage' for example. In Mizahar's development - lore, characters, etc. - the STs work pretty damn hard to help out and correct mistakes. So we could potentially conceive of them as attempting to find that particular observation/s X to falsify, to make false, that bit of development - if it doesn't cohere with the rules, 'mechanics' (if you will) as is defined by the moderators, it isn't accepted, and such areas would be mentioned and be fixed if possible. But this isn't really about falsifiability, come to think of it. It's about making sure that whatever you're trying to develop coherent with the existing stuff. You can't have a PC, a champion of Rhysol, serving the Windoak. You can't have a Kelvic mate with a Pycon to produce a mixed-blood.

And this brings me to the issue of confirmation bias, something I'm guilty of. Favouring things will confirm what I'm supporting, and pretty much ignoring anything that goes against it. Instead, I should be trying to find flaws in whatever I try to believe in and what I'm trying to develop in Mizahar, trying to find something - anything! - to 'falsify' it, something that shows that it doesn't cohere with Mizahar.

I hope this makes sense.

School's calling me, so I'll write one more portion.

What school of philosophy would I be leaning towards?

Scepticism. I question almost everything. And this tendency to question everything I perceive or think of doesn't make me seem friendly. When someone says "I love you" to me, I start asking myself in my mind 'What is love?"; and then I have a terrible urge to ask "How do I know that you love me?", "How do you know that you love me?" and others. In arguments, I try to argue my side as far as possible, and I start questioning everything that I see as being against my side - once again, I do something similar to confirmation bias, and argue vehemently. I'd like to think that I've mellowed a bit now, but it needs more work.

And when I say almost everything, I mean it in the literal sense. I see a wedding - out pops the question! "Are both of you in love with each other? How do you two know that?" - although I refrain from doing so as much as possible.

I write something like this - "How do I know that I'm using proper English grammar? How do I know that what I'm saying makes sense to other people?"

It's gone beyond simply being a philosophical Sceptic. I'm constantly doubting so much around me, and as you can probably guess, it isn't helping me much. The only time I don't feel this is when I drown myself in something - Positive or negative.

There's a quote by Nietzsche: "To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." and I don't know if it's true or not. I'm inclined to be optimistic - that life's wonderful - and sometimes it really is, but well...

Well, this has gone on longer than I thought it would. Deviated from my original reason, but it'll have to do. Cheers!
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on October 4th, 2013, 3:48 pm




And I've suddenly realised that I've been on Miz. for over a year now.

Huzzah!

Wow, it's been a while.

And since it's past my first year anniversary, I really want to get started on making Crypt a proper character. Not as two-dimensional as he appears to be now, but three-dimensional.

So I've taken some time to think of my goals and future plotlines for him.

Let's begin.


Short-term

1. Finish writing up his personality. I'm planning to use Dira and Ionu as counterparts - twin pillars, if you will - solemnity spiced up with the sheer enjoyment of the ever-changing reality Ionu represents. I see Ionu as a being drunk on the myriad sensations anything and everything provides - he's all about the senses, I think.

2. Finish up the loooong thread in Alvadas.

Long-term

1. Become a champion of either Dira or Ionu. This will take quite a while to accomplish, but I'm working towards it. This will require significant/copious amounts of roleplay.

2. Master Familiarity, Hypnotism, Shielding, Projection, Flux and Auristics. The other combat skills (Weapon, unarmed) are not as high a priority as the personal magics.

3. Obtain a high-level magic artifact (Either a magecrafted one with high MC or something special).

And other than all of that, I also want to focus on non-combat/magic/divine-related stuff. Even though that's what interests me the most. The system here is quite fascinating, after all.

As for romance with another PC... No. Maintaining such a relationship would require quite a bit of commitment for the two PCs, and I'm unsure if it'll last. There are cases of such a thing existing - Abashai and Nya Winters, for example - but they are rare. I might do something with a NPC, but for now nothing like that. In any case, Crypt is traveling around too frequently (which I'm planning to remedy - eventually I'll have him stay permanently in one place).

Plots

1. The meaning of his Windmarks.

It may be noted that his father created the design. And it contains puzzles, which I'm going to say are but parts of a larger enigma. I'm hoping for it to be related to a god/gods, so I'm hoping that STs can help me out there.

So far, I've had the vague notion of it being a map to something secret, but nothing much.
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on October 17th, 2013, 3:15 pm

I thought about this after I read Wren's post.


I can't remember when I decided that God, Allah, Rao or any other 'supreme gods' in religions were, for the lack of a better word, inadequate. But I do remember saying to myself that, in the absence of definite proof that such an entity exists, I would take a neutral stand. Either they existed or they did not, and I was in no position to argue for either one.

I'd remain (and I have remained) charitable and listen to anything about religion as long as I do not find any of their tenets morally wrong. I've attended services, I've gone to mosques, prayed at Buddhist temples, and I still remained as myself. The skeptic. But a charitable one.

I still believed that there was an entity out there that was supreme. I don't know why. Omniscient? Omnipotent? Omnipresent? Maybe. These notions I more or less rejected, for I believed that the entity (X) having such values would mean that X would be paradoxical in nature. Of course, X could be beyond logic, in which case attempting to assign attributes to X would be essentially meaningless.

But I did say my prayers every night - or most of them.

I didn't get what I prayed for in most cases, but there were some pretty stupid things I asked for. Not like Wren, but then again we're two different individuals.

Unlike him, I didn't truly believe that people in my life were in my life for a reason/reasons. I didn't believe in the principle of universal causation: in a nutshell, that everything had an antecedent cause. There was always uncertainty in my life, and I believe I suffered because of it.

But I wanted to love life; amor fati was my goal. I indulged myself in music - always seeking for the Ideal Forms I believed I could distinguish amidst the strains of Chopin's Tristesse, the melody of Adam Young's Vanilla Twilight, the gentle dissonance of Ginastera's Danza de la Mosa Donosa or the longing in Iron and Wine's Flightless Bird, American Mouth. Always and always I returned to the melancholic pieces.

But there were brighter ones too. Mozart's sonatas? Monti's Csardas? O Sole Mio?

There were my friends too. I was, and still am, awkward in their presence, unless I have something to throw my entire self into. I was comfortable in chaos - I moved fluidly from one topic of conversation to another in seconds, and oftentimes the jump was too far for most to grasp. But they still remained, and got used to it.

There was also nature.


To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

- Auguries of Innocence, Blake


It may have been irrational, but I could stare at something others considered insignificant. I was perhaps one of the few who loved rain - it was one of the few times I could really relish nature.

I didn't think that I would get a chance to meet a nice girl, court her, get married and settle down and all that. I was... not a rather attractive person - both in personality and in looks.

I did develop feelings for a girl. But it wasn't successful. I did interact with her on a regular basis, but I was perhaps a tad too shy. She went steady with another person a day before I decided to pluck up my courage and tell her what I thought of her.

I didn't cry. I'm not one for that. I didn't do anything I would have regretted. Just a simple "Congratulations", "my felicitations" and best wishes to the new couple.

I went back home, I sat on my bed, reading His Dark Materials, and fell asleep.

I had a wonderful dream. A beautiful dream. It didn't make sense at first, but after I awoke, the pieces fell into place.

In Morpheus' realm, we were together. It started at a swimming pool - we were swimming together with a couple of friends. Somehow it progressed, with her constantly teasing me, and me just taking it there and smiling. And then through a series of vague events (My memory grows murky now) we grew closer together. We were finally together, then she died. In a matter reminiscent of Foulata in King Solomon's Mines.

I spent the entire day thinking over it, attempting to find out any possible meaning.

I believe I got it some days after. I saw her again, and I had an epiphany of sorts.

Like Wren said:

But I think I came away with the valuable insight that life is too short to be hung up on the 'ideal girl' or 'ideal boy' or whatever. I like people because they're fascinating. They have interesting stories, ideas, ambitions, and lives. Perhaps by looking for the possibility of a relationship because of so many similarities, I missed the big picture that a relationship is a relationship no matter how you spin it...I shouldn't be so hasty to get into the big and heavy of emotional dead-lifting...at least not without being sure where I want to exactly be.

I sometimes still wonder what it would have been like if I could have had a chance to go on a date with her...but I think a little wistful longing does a heart good...seasons a writer's mind for the dramatic and the romantic.


I once thought she was the One. But maybe she wasn't. Maybe such a person didn't exist for me. Maybe I would be a bachelor for the rest of my life. Maybe I would find a true soulmate.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I accepted the possibilities, all of them, and I think I matured.

I still occasionally indulge in What-Could-Have-Been - wistful thinking, pleasant in the process but not quite pleasant afterwards. But I've moved on.

I don't know what else to write. Just my thoughts up there. Just an aspect of life as I see it. You may or may not agree with my opinions; let it be so.

Have a nice day/night, and thanks for reading.
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Wrenmae on October 18th, 2013, 3:37 pm

Hey Crypt,

I'm glad you took a bit of time to read my scrap and cannibalize the message for a scrap post of your own. I found it much by chance and I wanted to comment a little on your final sentiments.

For me, there is never the question of whether or whether not I will meet someone to love, fully, passionately...I have. I've met plenty of people in my life I could fall in love with over and over again...and although not all of those came to pass in an actual relationship, I knew that I would never have to fear being lonely so long as I remembered a little lesson I learned.

We can go on and on about the ideal mate and soulmates. Personally, I'd like to believe soulmates exist...but they don't have to in all senses of the word.

I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that we are compatible with a great number of people, but to make a relationship work...to really mesh souls, you have to grow together, like two trees entwining. We start as individuals, locked within the sensory perception of our own minds...and what we sometimes seek is a spiritual oneness best defined as 'love' according to our rough and tumble English language. Consider these moments, these emotional links, a congress between souls to see if you can truly grow together, or remain separate.

I personally believe that negativity is a kind of spiritual poison that can be projected from the despairing and the lonely like a cloud of death-spores. If you're unhappy, people will grow to sense it...and that alone can scare away possibilities.

Be positive, be optimistic, and keep your chin up. If you have a soulmate, have faith you'll meet her. If you don't, have faith you'll make one in someone you'll meet.

Continue talking to people, growing your contact web, and reaching out into the social ether. The farther in you tread, the more folks have a chance to know you for all your positive and negative qualities, to grow around and with you.


Or at least that's what I think.

A musing for your musing.
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on October 18th, 2013, 4:07 pm

Thanks for the musing - it was quite intriguing.

I might just have experienced what you wrote about - but I may have simply not seen them for what they were and/or could be. Perhaps (Or rather, quite possibly) I've been too preoccupied with my view of reality.

So much death happening. So much misery, pain, torment, ad nauseam. And it looks like it's only getting worse. But there are moments, positive moments, that somehow make everything worth it. I once saw a raindrop on the windowsill, splitting sunlight into seven colours that covered its round body. And I was entranced. There were people that helped others, there were (at the risk of sounding cliché) angels in human form scattered around the world.

There were stories that told of utmost good, and others of hope everlasting.

I don't think I'll ever be as optimistic or positive as other people would be, but at least I can remember and hold close to my self the idea that people can do good.

Your idea about being 'compatible with a great number of people' sounds quite plausible. It makes quite a bit of sense, to be honest.

I am of the opinion that we are the sum of our experiences - perhaps there's even the soul part somewhere in there. We change when we interact with anything - people most of all. Perhaps in the future someone could change me for the better. It would be nice.

As for negativity... I'd say mine is more of acknowledging what could happen. Whether positive or negative. But I do mix it up with true negativity - depression's been a part of my life ever since I was a teenager, but I've more or less recovered from it. Despair? Sometimes I feel it, but I forget all about after a good hour of thought and a nice nap.

But I'm still a human. I'm not alien, unnatural to this world. I'm not an anomaly (although some of my friends would beg to differ!).

I could believe in this quote attributed to Nietzsche: "To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." I don't do so totally, but there's a grain or two of truth in it.

I could believe in Forrest Gump's assertion about life: "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Surprise me and all that. So I'm learning to take everything in my stride. Sadness? Let it be. It will pass. Joy? I try to enjoy it for as long as possible - while still being pragmatic about the whole thing.

Oops, that was a tad long.

Anyway, thanks again for sharing your thoughts about this. I hope that, if soulmates for you and I do exist, we can find them.

Cheers!
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on October 22nd, 2013, 3:25 pm

About TIme



I loved this movie. I'm new to this romantic movie thing, having only watched one such movie before (Titanic), but I watched this with my friends one fine day and I was hooked.

The critics might not have rated this film too high, but I enjoyed it very much. I enjoyed the British humor (there was a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I believe), and Rachel McAdams was/is good-looking. Reminds me of someone I know, and that's one of the many coincidences I encountered on the day I watched it. Maybe the universe's telling me something?

Time travel is alright, but the rules are really iffy there. Just my logical side coming out there. At least they didn't try to imitate Doctor Who totally.

The chemistry between Rachel and Domhnall Gleeson (who, incidentally, played Bill Weasley in the Harry Potter movies) is impressive. Makes me a tad envious.

There's a difference between jealousy and envy, y'know?

It was enjoyable. The music was just right, and Il Mondo was fabulous.

I really have to watch more movies like this. There's that warm, fuzzy feeling I get at quite a few moments throughout the movie, and I'm craving it.

It's a pity they didn't really show the horrors of parenthood - mostly the good side. There was one scene though, but it felt rushed. No spoilers here!

It was mushy, it was idealistic, it was a dream. A perfect one.

Very unlikely something like that will happen, but it's nice to dream of reality as it could be occasionally.

So yeah. Amateur reviews for the win. Just watch it. It's cute.
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on November 24th, 2013, 2:25 pm

So after much (read: just a little) consideration, I'm semi-retiring Crypt and my other PCs (sort of). As Crypt, I will be participating in seasonal quests, job threads and the occasional thread with other RP-ers. As for my PC in the Syka quest, I will start posting regularly once Gossamer starts it all up again. It won't be retired unless the majority of the other PCs participating in the quest become inactive. I will be committed to that, at least. My other PC in Lhavit... Will be in the same status as Crypt. But for the most part, I'm not going to be posting as regularly as I did last year. Reasons include mostly RL matters (I'm going into the army the year after next, I have an upcoming national examination next year, I want to start writing non-Mizahar-related fiction on a semi-regular basis - just for fun) and that Mizahar's starting to appear a little too boring for me.

Not that the lore's boring - it's fascinating - but I just can't bring myself to write the threads that will improve my skills to the point that I can enjoy writing about the most esoteric/fascinating aspects. Progression is important, but it can get tiring writing all those skill threads. I did do some of them before, but I didn't enjoy any moment of it. And I won't do so, since writing is an enjoyable pursuit for me, and I don't want to take away the magic writing and Mizahar hold for me. So I'm treating this as more of a sabbatical. I want to recharge my batteries that have been drained oh-so-often by work and RL.

Mizahar is a large world, larger than most I've encountered (With the obvious exceptions of something like Tolkien's Arda) and it's been a joy writing about it, but it's starting to feel confining. I've read most of the lore articles over and over again, trying to think of new ways in which to combine the information, but it's becoming tiresome.

After reading Worm (Which is, by the way, an excellent work of fiction - one of the best on the 'Net), I was inspired. Not to the extent that I'd actually try and write something like that and possibly think of publishing my sub-par work though. But I'll start writing something.

This feels more like a goodbye than anything else, but it's not. I won't leave Mizahar totally. I'll be semi-active until further notice.

So thanks for all the fish.

~Crypt
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Khida on November 24th, 2013, 3:15 pm

Crypt wrote:Worm is an excellent work of fiction

Dropping in to second this.

Enjoy your sabbatical, Crypt!
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Crypt on February 28th, 2014, 3:34 pm

So. Well, it's been a long time since I started here. 2.5 years.

No, I'm not leaving permanently. Mizahar still has so much to offer. (Though I get bored by skill threads and lore, since the rate of new content being produced cannot keep up with my attention-deficient mind. Not the Mods/PCs' fault, mind you. More of my own.) In reference to my last post on my scrappy, this is the final update on my 'Mizahar status' for months to come.

I have a national examination in October/November. I'm not doing well for some of my subjects (barring Mathematics, I love that topic but memorising the content simply kills me over and over again) and I'd like to free myself from any guilt/responsibilty I have to thread partners and my own poorly-developed character for the time being. A clean cut, if you will. But I'll be back.

After the examination, depending on how my physical fitness test goes, I'll have 2 weeks ~ 2 months (or around that time) for anything I want to do. Including Mizahar. After that, I will be conscripted for at least two years. And after that, it's college/university. I want to try getting into Trinity College or Princeton, but I'll have to get excellent results and pass the application and interview process (which, since I am not your normal person, I am less likely to pass. I have a tendency to say things others won't).

And after all that junk, I'll try finding a job. A companion for eternity. A nice house. Children? Maybe. I don't like them now. Taking care of a child - a child whose neck I could snap without using much of my strength - frightens me. I can't handle the responsibility right now, and I suspect that that will be the case for years to come. I've always disliked responsibility over others.

And what then? Retire? Die?

I'm making life sound depressing.

Do this, do that, do what almost everyone else does.

God.

I don't even know if I can really return to Mizahar - but since so many others (Gossamer being the most prominent figure) have done it, why can't I? Maybe I might even lose interest in Mizahar.

I'm growing up, and I'm getting depressed because of that.

What do I really want? Idealistically? (That word applied to reality is sort of anathema to me - I study epistemology in school, and ideal things are really, really difficult (if not impossible) to achieve.)

I want to live comfortably. I want someone to accompany me for the rest of our lives. I want to truly love a significant other. I want a small house, I want a large library, I want to be an excellent pianist. I want to learn more musical instruments. I want to discover/create something new in Mathematics as part of my legacy.

What do I need? I don't know.

And if I follow the standard route (Degree -> Job -> Retirement -> Death), I don't think I'll get all of that until my old age. Then I can't enjoy things as much as I can right now. There are people who have done that, but I don't really see myself as one of them.

I'll have to ignore all of this to continue studying, to continue living the way I have. I always remember them whenever I'm alone. My life for the past few years has been flitting from one emotional extreme to the other; depression to exuberance. Introversion to extroversion. Sadness to joy. I am conflicted, but I'm still functioning.

Guess that's all that's needed. Perhaps.

So long, and thanks for all the fish. (For now.)
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[Crypt's Scrapbook] A cup of tea, good sir?

Postby Vanari on February 28th, 2014, 5:22 pm

Props for setting priorities, I can still barely feed myself and it's been almost two years since graduation xD

But to the million miza question of life, only this: do what makes you happy, what you love. Be the strongest and best version of you. And all else will follow :)
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