Completed Denying Denial

[Ricky Maze]

Denying Denial Part 1.4 of The Part Of Moving On Winter 12th, 512 AV; 14th Bell How do we act when we face reality? How are we suppose to act when all we feel is lost? We deny to ourselves that the truth is real, but even that only gets us so far. In really... We're just stuck. Stuck because of the one thing that has torn us apart, and left our road unclear. What do we do though? Even if our eyes are opened to the truth what then? All we can do is just press on, continue down the broken road and see what lies ahead. Ricky was out and about today for a very important reason. Be it cold or not he had to have a distraction for today, since the beer wore off and his night consisted of breaking through it's darkest hours. The nightmare still tormented him endlessly and chased off that which his exhausted body and mind cried for the most. He was alone today as he had been for the past few days now, trying to avoid anymore contact from friends, hoping to keep his head buried in the sand as Telion would say to him. She was rather obnoxious to him, or so his pride felt at least. He knew her intentions were only for his well being but still, when a man tells a person they don't need help then by all means: He. Doesn't. Need. Help. Ricky was walking through the fish market now, its busy hustle allowing him to swim through its flock with ease. He made little notion to look at others when passing them, but as he made his way out of the crowd he found himself heading to a place he didn't wish to go. The Docks. Yes he hadn't been here in a while after alland he longed to keep away, but his feet were guided by an unknown feeling that made their way on down. Down to the center of the event he would try so hard just to flush out. Finally it was all before him, the very scene of the incidet where he murdered the vicious scumbag. It was here that he had fought alongside his good friend Sebastian, and here where his world finally crumbled into dust. The story is a dark one for Ricky as he feared what he had become, the final moments he let himself slip into the rage. Part of him still felt the need to let go, to live in that deep dark part of him that hated. He was afraid of that the most, because of the harm he could bring to otherz. Yet standing here and looking at the sight where it all happened, he felt himself lost in the very fabric of its memory. He wasn't the same anymore, not without his dog. He was fine though, oh so fine as he would think. After all people went through times of trouble like this, everybody loses something or someone special to them at some point or another, therefore Ricky should've been fine to say the least. Yet no matter how many times he thought that to himself Ricky still failed to look at the truth; he wasn't fine at all. He was broken inside and needed something repaired, a wound that never seemed to heal really. Deeply inflicted upon his spirit, as his heart was still missing its vital essence. That love and feel for adventure in every new day, the excitement and humble nature he always carried; all of it really. Everything seem to be gone now, and Ricky... was just an empty shell.

[Keira Star]

Winter 12th, 512 AV; 14th Bell

Keira walked farther into the city of Zeltiva, looking meticulously at the sites it had to offer. She intended to get familiar with the city she might stay in for the time being. Her strawberry blonde hair fell to her sides, and she was dressed quite simply. Standing at 5'5, Keira succeeded with unintentionally blending in with the bustling crowds of people as she wandered aimlessly into the fish market. As she was pushed around forcefully, she decided it was far too crowded and the best and quickest way to escape was to head towards the docks.

All the while many thoughts danced in her mind. Was this really where she should be right now? From other bits of conversations she picked up around the city, most of Mizahar had become dangerous to some degree. No disagreement there, her previous experience back home was evidence that they spoke the truth.

When people think, one thought soon chains itself with another, and her mind drifted back to that dreadful day. She showed a pained expression and looked down at the ground to see that nobody knew it, a rather stupid and ill thought idea, because as soon as she did somebody bumped into her, knocking her to the floor. As a 14 year old, it didn't take much to knock her down if Keira was unaware.

"Watch where you're going next time!" she heard someone yell in an irked tone as they continued to walk.

"S-sorry!" was her reply feeling rather guilty about the minor accident. She never wanted to hurt anyone, and she hoped the guy wasn't late to wherever he was hurried. He had already disappeared in the crowd of people, going in the direction she had previously come from.

How could one person be so careless?

The question hung in the air because she could assign it no answer. She imagined what would make her so careless. Even if something bad happened to her, she would still feel terrible about causing grief or the slight amount of pain and apologize, helping that person and asking about their welfare.

She WAS the liable party for not watching where she was going, so there was reason for the guy to feel upset, although she failed to see a reason why that much anger would be caused by her. Maybe something unbearably terrible had occurred the day before.

Or maybe people around here don't know how to care, her conscience stated. If that was the case she would show them, by being the caring person she was.

As she came back to reality, she soon realized she was still sitting on the edge of the market. She got on her feet, feeling bruised and winced for a second, then quickly adapted to the only slight pain and started heading to the docks, where it seemed she could evade the crazy crowds plaguing the streets.

[Ayatah]

A piece of Taloba in Zeltiva.

It was what Ayatah saw in what she was doing; Myrian fire dancing on the Zeltiva docks.

It was the third time she had done it, in the ten or so days since moving to the city. It helped cure her homesickness - although none of the passers-by truly appreciate the art like those of her own race - and it also meant she had a tiny income.

She was using a long, thin torch to dance with. She’d bought it to the city with her, and although it meant she had received some strange, almost concerned looks, she was able to pass time doing a hobby that was highly important to her. The dances all told little stories, either how her ancestors first began to scatter the bones of their victims, or how her Great-Grandmother came to meet her Myrian tiger. They were each a tale of her ancestry, but her audience in Zeltiva were simply unaware of this.

Her torch had run out a while ago, and Ayatah had not the necessaries to light it again. Although it certainly took something away form her performance, the few men and women standing to watch her still enjoyed the show. Her current dance was her own story, one she’d made up in the quiet of her room in the Living Quarters of the university. It told of how she had prayed to her Goddess-Queen, who then bestowed to her confidence to leave her Jungle home and adventure out to the academic city of Zeltiva. It was by no means a finished story, and the dance was not up to Myrian standard, but Ayatah knew that her small audience would no know better.

When she finished, there was a small applause, and she smiled and gave a small bow. There were, unfortunately, a few disapproving looks and comments: ”Savages should remain where they were”, “why people like her are allowed in the city, I don’t know.”The words did not bother Ayatah; as a Myrian with dirtied blood, she had spent half her life being questioned for her race, but it was usually fellow Myrians disgraced at her Eypharian bloodline. It was almost… a compliment to Ayath to be seen as a full-blooded Myrian.

A small child came up to her, a small gold coin in his hand. His mother stood behind him, smiling but there was a wary look in her eyes. ”He… wanted to give you a present. Give the nice-- lady her coin.”Ayatah smiled to the child and took the Miza. ”Thank you, very much. I’m glad you like my dance.” She said, and the young boy giggled at her thick Myrian accent. The mother looked a little relieved that the dancer had not eaten her child, and ushered her boy along.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Ricky Maze]

Ricky found himself spaced out into a world of rambunctious thoughts, all free within his mind like the wind over the sea. He shook himself back into reality as he wanted to lock out all thoughts, board the door to his mind and simply state nobody was home anymore. He felt it better to deny he was in such a low state, and pressed on to find his feet carry him to a next spot. One that had allured his eyes respectively, putting him in a mystic trance as he watched. A woman had finished her dance on the dock next to the one he stood on, and had received a coin from a boy and his mother. Though it seemed the mother was more urgent to get away, an unusual reaction for such a dancer. She was a fine young lass to be sure, nothing really seemed wrong with her to drive people away. 'Perfect, I could use a distraction as I clearly need it.' He thought to himself as he could still fill the hanging cloud of exhaustion loom over him. Sleep had been difficult to come by, that is unless he obtained it through intoxication. He didn't think to make his way around to the dock she resided on, only to sit on the crate he was near and watch with hope that she would dance some more. It wasn't often an exotic dancer came along, especially if she was a foreigner nonetheless. Then again Ricky really hasn't been out and about like he used to be. Should the dancer look at Ricky, he would try to put on polite smile and give a simple wave. That would no doubt be more than enough to show she had his attention.

[Keira Star]

As she made her way to the docks, she saw a Myrian dancer. She was performing an intriguing fire dance, unique and interesting. The way she expressed herself through dancing made her want to stay and she approached a little closer, carefully putting distance between her and the other people. She did not want to bump into anyone again.

Zeltiva was an interesting place so far in her opinion, but it had gotten more interesting with every passing moment. The dancing took her mind off of some worries, and she began to loosen up again, becoming the bright, smiling 14 year old she always was. It was always nice to relax, after having to be so meticulous all the time.

As the dance ended, she heard the remark of approvals, "Savages should remain where they were”, and “why people like her are allowed in the city, I don’t know." Her thought from earlier was confirmed once again, the one about people not caring. What if they were a different race that was looked upon by many as a savage? How would they feel? She thought the dance was interesting and beautiful in its own way, and as the people starting moving on, she approached the Myrian, her strawberry blonde hair blowing with the winds from the waves near the docks.

"Miss, your dancing was beautiful. I've not seen it in quite a while," she said in a sweet and soft voice, it always sounded this way, like an angel. Her words were poetic, her speech of one who had been educated. She smiled shyly and looked in the Myrian's eyes, her own sparkling hazel. She wanted to say that to her. After all, kindness is for everyone, not just people similar to us.

[Ayatah]

Another two gold mizas were pressed into Ayatah’s palms, along with some polite compliments, and strangely, a feather (the latter of which had been given to her by an extremely decrepit looking woman). She thanked them all in simple Common, nodding her head and smiling kindly.

The last person to approach her was a young girl - Ayatah guessed she was in her teens, who complimenting the dancing. But there was something about what the girl had said that made Ayatah frown, ”You haven’t seen it for a while… Have you seen another Myrian here?” The idea that this girl had seen Myrian fire dancing certainly gave Ayatah hope that she wasn’t the only one of her people in the city.

She glanced upwards, behind the young girl, as if to find a familiar Myrian face in the bustling crowd. No, she thought with disappointment, there’s none of my Goddess’ people in this city. Instead, her dark eyes fell onto another face. It was by one means a Myrian face, nor a familiar one, but one that belonged to a human male. As they shared brief eye contact, the male sent a small smile and wave in Ayatah’s direction. She returned the favour, nodding politely to him.

In a city of prejudice towards her, Ayatah certainly appreciated kindness.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Ricky Maze]

As she returned his smile and wave with a nod Ricky felt more so inclined to speak with the dancer, she was definitely a foreigner to the city; whether she arrived recently was something he would soon find out. A girl had told the dancer a statement he felt was true, it was as beautiful as well as exotic to Ricky. Enough to actually cause him to speak with her, which is why he decided to make a quick trip to the pier she was on. Maybe he could find out more about her and where she was from. As he made his way around several people he finally came to his turning point, he walked right down the pier of the docks and came to start a conversation. That is until he had just realized how strange it was he did so, strange enough that when he actually arrived to the two girls he had no words to say. He must've looked rather silly not being able to speak a word, he felt silly just trying to right now. Finally he gave up and scratched the bback of his head in embarassment, and the words that finally left were ones he wished were better. "So uh, new here to the city?" It was open for either to answer, even both of them actually. He had no idea what to say or do, just that he had found his distraction for the day. OOC : Your patience is greatly appreciated!

[Keira Star]

Keira smiled sadly at the Myrian's question; wishing not to confirm her thoughts but had no other answer. "I saw something similar as a child, but nobody here unfortunately. Considering she was 14, what she meant was as a younger child. She felt sympathy for the woman, who was anxious and looked alone. Not many Myrians must live around Zeltiva, she thought.

The thoughts brought her back to her own, ones about worry and of being alone herself. She depended on herself at the moment, and her rubbed her arm, fingering the bracelet she wore. She shoved these thoughts out of her head, she just wanted them all to go away. Such things should not be thought about at the moment.

Then she saw another man walk up to them, looking a bit worn out, but walking towards them. For a moment he seemed to be at a loss for words and Keira looked into his eyes. As soon as her unique hazel eyes met his she saw that he was in deep pain inside, but it did not appear on his outer appearance, only in his eyes. The Myrian did not seem to notice, but he looked like he was also trying to distract himself by coming here. "So uh, new here to the city" were his inquiring words, in a hesitant voice.

She didn't mind meeting another person, might as well make herself with Zeltiva anyway. When she spoke, her words rang with a softness and an element of joy and kindness not often heard in people; and not often heard in people experiencing the things she had and was experiencing. She smiled and her hazel eyes sparkled, "Yes, I'm not from around here, and what of yourself?" Poetic words knit themselves together in fluent strings when she spoke, a result of her father educating her, but she didn't try to speak that way on purpose.

This she noticed when she heard speech from around Zeltiva, that hers was a bit extravagant, but it was the way she was raised, it could not be helped. She pushed her blonde hair away from her face as she waited for a response from one of them, and inside she was hopeful that the thoughts could permanently leave while conversing with the two strangers.

[Ayatah]

"I saw something similar as a child, but nobody here unfortunately.”

Ayatah nodded her head. What else should she expect? If there were other Myrians in the city, she would have known. She would have sensed their gnosis, surely?

A thron amongst a city of roses. It was how her Great Grandmother had foretold Ayatah’s journey to Zeltiva, and the hundred-or-so year old woman had not been far off. ”I thought as much…” Ayatah replied, more to herself than the young girl. She would have to simply deal with being one Myrian amongst many others.

"So uh, new here to the city?"

The voice almost caught Ayatah off guard; she had not seen the man she nodded to chimes earlier approach. Something about him made Ayatah feel a little… awkward. Perhaps it was how he scratched the back of his head, or seemed to stumble over his words. She would have expected that he was scared of the cannibalistic Myrian standing before him, but he had approached her.

”I am not from aroung here, either.” She said after the young girl had given her own answer, ”I moved from Taloba, in the Falynder jungle.” She nodded her head in greeting, as was customary in her own society. The action might seem a little… out of place in Zeltiva, but it was all that the Myrian-Eypharian mix knew.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Ricky Maze]

"Yes, I'm not from around here, and what of yourself?" Was the answer the little lass gave, the other one spoke next right after her. ”I am not from aroung here, either; I moved from Taloba, in the Falynder jungle.” She greeted with a nod, a custom that Ricky was familiar enough with. He honored it with a nod of his own, a slight bow as he did so to show respect for the two. "I've lived here all my life, though I have to admit it is rather different from before I left. I returned home last season." He said while he attempted to smile, his friendly appearance lacked its usual character but still existed nonetheless. "Oh I almost forgot," Ironically he did almost forget, "I'm Ricky, what are yer names?" He was polite when he asked, finally able to hold a relaxed posture as he spoke.