
He left as quickly as he had appeared, and said very little.
She watched him walk away and even when the door had closed behind him, Ayatah kept watching like some hopeful child. Then finally, she realised that he was not coming back. Her gaze dropped to her own feet and she allowed herself to feel completely and utterly dejected.
Her lids fluttered to a close and Ayatah inhaled deeply, one hand hanging loosely by her side, but the other hovered over her empty womb. So much loss, so much pain and anger engulfed her in those moments that Ayatah did not know whether to drop down to her knees and cry, or to run after Razkar and kick him right in the very area she had come to be quite fond of.
In the end, all she did was exhale in a controlled, slow motion. She would not react. She would the same thing that she had done since the start of last season: absolutely nothing. Instead, Ayatah would swallow her fury the same way a man might swallow a drink, and she would ignore her hurt like a child ignores a bully.
I have come some far, why change now?
Because you’re driving yourself to insanity - or worse.
She thought about what she had said to her mother before she left, and Ayatah hated herself for it almost instantly. She had turned her anger to her own mother; and that was wrong on so many levels. Sure, Quinneth would come up with a clever excuse for her behaviour, and Paira was like to believe it. But knowing that her mother had fooled for some farce of a story merely added to Ayatah’s frustration.
She inhaled and exhaled again, but this time her breaths were jagged and laboured.
”Ayatah?”
She rolled a knuckle in each eye socket to push away whatever irritation seemed to cause her eyes to sting and blur.
Saiete was wearing a sad smile, one that Quinneth had worn hundreds of times recently. The older woman placed a hand on Ayatah’s shoulder, ”people always forget that this is hard on the father as much as the mother.”
Those words… Those names. It was all too much for Ayatah: ‘mother’ was a label she did not want… But it killed her that her body had failed her with such a natural thing, that she had failed the man she loved in a challenge neither of them planned.
”I must leave. I’m… sorry.”
And then Ayatah did the exact same thing Razkar had done just moments before: she escaped out of that infirmary as if Dira herself was following.
She watched him walk away and even when the door had closed behind him, Ayatah kept watching like some hopeful child. Then finally, she realised that he was not coming back. Her gaze dropped to her own feet and she allowed herself to feel completely and utterly dejected.
Her lids fluttered to a close and Ayatah inhaled deeply, one hand hanging loosely by her side, but the other hovered over her empty womb. So much loss, so much pain and anger engulfed her in those moments that Ayatah did not know whether to drop down to her knees and cry, or to run after Razkar and kick him right in the very area she had come to be quite fond of.
In the end, all she did was exhale in a controlled, slow motion. She would not react. She would the same thing that she had done since the start of last season: absolutely nothing. Instead, Ayatah would swallow her fury the same way a man might swallow a drink, and she would ignore her hurt like a child ignores a bully.
I have come some far, why change now?
Because you’re driving yourself to insanity - or worse.
She thought about what she had said to her mother before she left, and Ayatah hated herself for it almost instantly. She had turned her anger to her own mother; and that was wrong on so many levels. Sure, Quinneth would come up with a clever excuse for her behaviour, and Paira was like to believe it. But knowing that her mother had fooled for some farce of a story merely added to Ayatah’s frustration.
She inhaled and exhaled again, but this time her breaths were jagged and laboured.
”Ayatah?”
She rolled a knuckle in each eye socket to push away whatever irritation seemed to cause her eyes to sting and blur.
Saiete was wearing a sad smile, one that Quinneth had worn hundreds of times recently. The older woman placed a hand on Ayatah’s shoulder, ”people always forget that this is hard on the father as much as the mother.”
Those words… Those names. It was all too much for Ayatah: ‘mother’ was a label she did not want… But it killed her that her body had failed her with such a natural thing, that she had failed the man she loved in a challenge neither of them planned.
”I must leave. I’m… sorry.”
And then Ayatah did the exact same thing Razkar had done just moments before: she escaped out of that infirmary as if Dira herself was following.
|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||
