[Strange/Shane/Wisp's Scrapbook] May Contain Puns!

[Estrellir Konrath]

Believe me, I totally understand what you mean. Suddenly your parents start giving you those looks and defensive tone, right? As if they want to throw you out unless you become a fully functioning member of society (and when that happens, you're of course supposed to move out by yourself).

I've done the job search too and my only advice is: Keep going. Just keep searching and don't take rejections personally. Don't start doubting yourself because 1) it's no use and 2) they'll notice during job interviews. I think all you can do is keep believing you'll find something eventually.

It sounds like you're doing a lot for job and apartment though. You certainly spend more time on it than I ever did! So kudos. I got a job and so will you.

[Shane Wallsly]

Hey folks!

It's been a while. Why? Well you might remember I was on the job search. I found one and it's pretty long hours. About 12 hours Monday to Friday so by the time I come home I'm way too tired to do anything but eat and sleep. That's why I haven't been able to get on Miz. I'll probably be about weekends and when I've gotten into more of a flow I can squeeze in some evenings as well.

[Shane Wallsly]

I've been alive nineteen years. Not much for a lot of people but it's my entire existence. All of my life has been these nineteen years and for fourteen of them my dalmatian cross collie Kira has been there. So she's quite an old dog you might imagine. She's had her share of run ins with the Vet in her time too. She was never shy and bold dogs get in a lot of trouble but we've always done right by her and she's survived her entire litter. She was the runt too. She's had it good but she's taken a turn for the worst tonight. She is by no means a spring chicken but tonight she can't even get up and her breath comes out in short rasps. The earliest convenience for the vet is the morning so we've given her some blankets and moved her food and water beside her. I think this is it though. I know about the circle of life. All things end. It seems to me to be her time. Sounds heartless.

Um, I don't really know what I'm doing here. I guess I'm letting everyone know that if everything doesn't pan out tomorrow I won't be able to post. If it does and everything's fine I'll probably spend my day with her anyway but I don't think. Better words to say it I know but my heads not screwed on right. Night folks.

[Shane Wallsly]

They had to put her down. I mean we had to. It was for the best. She couldn't really stand on her own. The vet agreed with the decision. She's gone now. So that's it. Give me some time.

[Estrellir Konrath]

Time and also a hug if you want one. I'm sure she's in a good place now. Take all the time you need too.

[Twister]

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Hi Shane. I was going to say something earlier, but I held it off just in case. I wanted to hear what the end result would be before I said anything.

We had a dog, too, who was very old. I wrote about her in my Scrapbook recently, and we had to put her down too. She had time to turn 15, but then she gave up. One day she just gave up fighting and stopped trying, and at that point all we could do was realize that it was time for her to leave. We couldn't keep her around any longer, because that wouldn't have been fair to her. The only right thing to do was to let her go to sleep and move on to a place where there's no more pain, no more hip problems, clear eyesight and all the snow she could ever want to roll around in, and a nice flowerbed to dig in and hide her bones and pig ears.

So, I understand. Our pets are our friends and family, despite the gap in species. We'll never be able to understand eachother beyond the bond of love and affection that we share, but that's enough for us to feel great loss when they have to leave. Inevitably, they will someday. But don't worry. She'll come running when you walk through the door and greet you with a wagging tail like always; you just won't see her. Just 'cause you can't see her doesn't mean she won't be there, though. Always.

And that's me crying, lol. Hugs and love, hun.

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[Shane Wallsly]

After a particular snip about me 'sitting upstairs all the time and playing dungeons and dragons stuff' I have begun to wonder what exactly would make my mother happy. I am trying my hardest to get a job and I have had several interviews. However the best I can do between interviews is apply for more jobs and there are only a specific amount of jobs I can apply for. So then, in my sparest of time, I do sit in my room and roleplay a bit. I wonder if she would be happy if I sat downstairs and did nothing while I waited or if I went outside and did nothing while I waited. What does she want from me?

I find myself wondering if I acted like a 'normal' functioning member of society, without the job part, she'd be perfectly happy with me. If I got up at 8 AM and went to bed at 8 or 9. If I worked out regularly. If I drank a lot of water. Would she be happy then? Whether or not I'm flabby and nerdy it cannot change the fact that I simply don't have a job right now. I'm sure when the right job comes along I'll be there as I'm taking every measure to keep my eyes and ears open for it but until then what else am I meant to do?

Just a small rant as I get dressed to go to the shop. Little bit frustrated with my life and family right now.

[Shane Wallsly]

Since everyone seemed so impressed in chat earlier I thought I'd give you all a taste of what an audio log from me might be like. Enjoy!

EDIT: Wow that is really tinny. I should definitely use a better quality site for recording.

[Shane Wallsly]

JOB! Glorious JOB! I have one at last. It's a temporary arrangement, with an option to stay on if they like me enough, but it's money and work experience which are really fucking valuable commodities these days. Well, when they come paired together. If I wanted unpaid work experience I'd go back on Job Seekers :| Anyhow, yes, Job, me happy, start at 10 AM tomorrow. Is job so probs not be fun but certainly fulfilling in that it is a job that pays and my mother will love me. Thanks for listening, yolks.

[Shane Wallsly]

Everyone needs to see this.