Closed Lovely and Instructive (Matthew)

[S'Essy]

S'Essy didn't do much but was staring at the man while he was doing his beauty routine. He was very neat and he was making sure he looked handsome and tidy. Not forgetting any part of his body, his swimming technique was very good too, not the best though but could she blame him? Hardly, she was amazed when other races could swim anyway. He continued with where she could bring pleasure to herself. The Konti just realized how little she knew about sex. And it was certainly not embarrassing nor silly that she talked about it with a harlot... in fact it was the best way to get know her body it seemed. You go to the doctor if you want to check if you have an injure too no? With that logic you go to the person who knows his profession well. His mention about the muscles which help birth, made her chuckle a bit. "Well... my birth should go quickly then and easily I hope." She shook her head, it wasn't that funny. "Okay, that was very immature me." And she was sure, she would be interested plenty of advice, her lover however? Definitely not.

His look did not change, just apathy. Even after her compliment for herself. His answer was not rude, but he said it like a politician. It wasn't a compliment more like it was something obvious. Her smile didn't change and she winked at him. "Well.. yes.. thank you. Please try to be less enthusiastic about it, I will think you're hitting on me, Matthew!" She didn't try to be rude either with her sarcastic sentence.

He repeated the word for her. She silently mouthed the word after him, but didn't say a thing. She crossed her legs and listened to him further. She knew what was he like. A book from the library. So professional, no emotions at all and mere facts about everything and everyone. Like he had no opinions which was not true. She thought harlots would be more playful, flirty and open around people. But he was so different, she tried to imagine at work. His work was his work probably and he wore a mask there... She didn't know just could only guess by it. Maybe she could visit him once, not telling her lover. Or not. It was a bad idea and she didn't have time or energy for stress. She didn't know, she could think about it later.

His answer was not as satisfactory as she thought, the Healer didn't get that much of information. She knew these facts already. Maybe she could ask Markus once... Someday. Somehow. Her thoughts were really cycling about this, it was really strange for her. "Oh I only ask because you know. Stuff. Erm.. " She had to put her thoughts together, her sentence was gibberish. "Sorry, I mean I asked because I was curious. And because you know a lot." Face, without any emotion, she was staring into his eyes and hardly she could read anything from him.

Maybe it was time, she would suggest him tips and also... try things. She was too curious at that moment. She pointed at his face. "Hmm, darling! Would you do me a favor?" Her smile widened and S'Essy was really confident with her plan. "Could you smile for me? Not flirty and not just a slight one. A real one. Just, think about what makes you happy. And smile because of that. Or smile because of me, if that helps."

[Matthew]

In a perhaps humorous moment, when S'Essy tried to joke about Matthew's stoic compliment, the Harlot completely and utterly missed the fact that she was teasing him. He was so very intelligent when it came to facts, but could be so incredibly lacking when it came to things outside those facts. The slightest of expressions shifted his face, eyebrows furrowing and the smallest of frowns curling his lush lips. "I apologize. It was not my intention to make any rude advances on you." He prided himself on professionalism, but had learned long ago that professionalism in his career was very different from most every other.

At her explanation at why she had asked the question, he nodded understandingly. "You are welcome to ask all you wish. I've provided sexual counseling for many a couple before. Anything from mere discussion to their concerns or curiosities in the bedroom, to watching them engage in intimacies and offering ideas on how to improve their individual performances. Knowledge of any sort is always a powerful thing." That was one thing he had used to set himself apart when he had first started down this path. He had not just offered sex, like a common prostitute. He had offered wisdom, comfort, intimacy, and a number of other things.

Focusing on the fingertip she pointed at him, Matthew lifted his legs from the bottom of the baths and attempted to tread water. He tried to fit in little training exercises here and there with skills like this that could use improvement. Swimming also helped develop muscle, so it was something he had been focusing on recently.

A smile? He blinked at her, then silently searched through his memories for something that would spur such a thing. A genuine smile was something very different to offer her. After a short tick of silence, he slowly shook his head, gaze steady upon her own. "I do not believe I can honestly fulfill that request. I can smile to show politeness, or smile as a part of my profession." How to explain? It was rare that someone asked for this sort of thing. Very rare. "When most people feel emotion, they immediately know what that emotion is. While I feel them, though sometimes distantly, I could not tell you what any of them are. I actually find the sensations to be mildly unpleasant, if I was to be honest." He tilted his head, having spoken each and every word slowly and carefully, not exactly sure how to phrase it so that it could easily be understood by others.

[S'Essy]

She noticed he wasn't really a man who really understood social matters but that was just the top of it. Her wide smile vanished for a moment, she took a deep breath and blew it out. S'Essy just placed her face on her palm. That was a bit too much for her. "Oh dear Syna. Bless him..." She sighed to herself. Then she just let it go, the Konti shook her head and waved her hand at him. For a moment she thought if she should explain or not. "I.. no, darling. It's okay, you didn't offend me and I'm actually flattered, thank you." She just simply couldn't do it. It was better that way she thought. She put her smile back on her face.

She wasn't the only one he provided some advice about sexual things. Not that she was so surprised about it. He was a harlot after all, it quite made sense right? Though, him watching as a pair engaged in intimacies that was a weird thought. "Your life must be fulfilled with thrills, huh?" She said it while nodding slightly. But that... made sense too she guessed. Not for her case but every couple was different. And in the end she agreed on his last sentence. Knowledge of any sort was always a powerful thing. "Oh yes. And thank the gods we have them."

This didn't went just as easily as she thought it would. He shook his head and couldn't really smile that way... S'Essy wasn't really surprised anymore about it. Just as politeness and as his profession. She was thinking while he was explaining his thoughts about his emotions. Like he threw them away. This was tough this way but she didn't want to give up there. "I think you misunderstand. In fact I think you just don't understand them." She shook her head too. "There are many emotions which are pleasant and there are many which are not. But smiling when you're happy, I asked for that emotion, for that feeling. Happiness can't be unpleasant, it would make no sense. You know how much nicer you would look with a nice? "

She took her towel off and get into the pool again... She couldn't really decide if she wanted to be off or on the pull anymore. But being in the warm water was so nice. "Then let me try this way. Isn't there something which makes you laugh? Think hard, your memories or your imagination, a thing which is really funny to you, anything." She was swimming around him a bit, but her eyes always turning to him.

[Matthew]

"I wouldn't quite say I find it thrilling. I think it would be hard to give appropriate feedback if I found any pleasure in the act. Instead, since my main motivation would be knowledge, it allows me to remain impartial. Sometimes people find it disturbing, sometimes they don't mind. Some find it a challenge and wish to conquer the mysterious harlot." He gave a slow shrug of his slim but muscled shoulders, still continuing to churn his legs and move his arms in the slow treading motion. It was actually starting to make the muscles in his legs burn, but just a bit. For now.

Nodding at her words, he furrowed his brow, searching through his memories again. When had the emotions last been pleasant? He knew that at one point, many of them had been pleasant. It was only when he slowly began to grow wary of them that they all turned mildly unpleasant. That was about the time when he had begun to drown them, one by one. Every time one popped up somewhere within him, he merely held it beneath the water until the bubbles finally stopped and his mind was peaceful once more. At the same time, he supposed he missed those pleasant sensations. Ones that felt warm. But with the positive ones came the negative, and with emotion came chaos. He felt it was better to simply treat them all the same way. Kill them all in the same manner, until perhaps one day there would be absolutely nothing left except the peacefulness of logic.

His head turned a bit to follow her as she slipped from her towel and into the pool, treading backwards just a slight bit to allow her a respectful amount of personal space. At her next request, Matthew didn't even hesitate. "I don't particularly find anything funny. I don't think I have a sense of humor. I would actually say that I believe the behavior induced by humor to be rather irrational and strange. But that is most likely because I neither possess nor understand it."

White teeth sunk into a plush lower lip, his blue eyes intensely focused upon the Konti before him as he pondered her motives. "I apologize if I am giving you trouble. Might I ask what your motives are? I don't believe I understand."

[S'Essy]

He really needed to understand sarcasm. S'Essy was thinking if she should teach him or not. She still chose not to for some reason, didn't want to crumble or make him feel bad about it... But thinking about that, she wasn't even sure if that would make him feel bad. She still couldn't think a time if she would be okay if somebody would be there while she would make love with Markus. Maybe it was just her but it was too personal for her, something she didn't want to share with anyone only with her lover. "I didn't mean thrilling literally." She just couldn't let it go this time. "Another tip from me about friendly conversations. There are...funny... people like me who like to fool around. Matthew, try to watch the tone of how somebody is talking, believe me, it can give different meanings to some sentences."

Her second attempt went worse than the first. He didn't even try to think about something, he didn't hesitate to reject that too. Of course... if he couldn't just smile, why would he know humor. So silly of her. Maybe she should explain it to him? She could try, she just wanted to see his joy somehow. And she didn't want to give up that challenge. "Humor is MEANT to be irrational and strange. Humor is actually a powerful communication tool. Think about it. You can tell a lot thing through a joke. Humor is just... weird and ridico... No. I can't explain." This was harder than she thought, she couldn't explain it this was not good enough.

He had to to feel it, experience it, but he must have buried those so inside. And in all honesty it disturbed her. She didn't know why, but she wanted to see him smile or laugh or something. The Konti wanted to see a single emotion on his face, a positive one. And she wanted to complete that plan. Was she that bored? Probably, but this man was just too interesting for her, and she kinda liked him. She was keep swimming around him, her face was serious. Should she try something else? She could but would it have a point?

For this a bath wasn't the good place. And probably he was disturbed by it, she couldn't just do it without explaining to him. Giving he was so direct and.. rational in everything. "No, you don't give me trouble, actually I'm having fun. You know what I do as a healer?" she asked the obvious... which might not be that obvious. "I heal people? Yes, true. But half of the truth. I'm a Healer since my birth and you know what I have realized as a child. Healing somebody give me joy and give the other people joy. Being happy is a healthy thing too, a lot people forget this. I like to give joy to people be it through healing or other wise. You have to enjoy life to really... live!"

Her serious expression was changed by a cheerful look. "My motives are simple. I'm a naive person, Matthew, I know that. But I believe you're a good guy, and you're an interesting person. And I would really like to see an honest smile on your face, a joy on your face. Call me weird and irrational but.. I look into your eyes and I see nothing, no feelings. It's like I see a scar on somebody's body, I feel I must heal it." She stopped the swimming, she turned herself to the Harlot. "I wanna bring joy to you. Look, this might be not something you want so I'll leave it to be.. but do you wanna meet with me somewhere another day? I might have something to offer. If no, that's fine and I'm sorry for messing with you, I didn't mean that honestly."

[Matthew]

Matthew blinked again, the Konti perhaps soon realizing that this was the one main expression of confusion that the Harlot appeared to have. "But, you weren't funny. I didn't find you funny, at least. Do you mean I should attempt to pick up on if someone is trying to be funny and then react as if I was amused?" It was a rather rude and blunt statement, but like many of the other rude and blunt statements Matthew had seemed to deliver over the last half-bell, he was completely unaware of it. As she tried to explain the concept of humor to him, he watched her and listened, tugging her words out of the air as they were spoken and carefully absorbing each and every one. When she decided she couldn't explain, he simply nodded, accepting that as a valid answer and continuing in his slow and steady swimming practice.

Returning his gaze to her as she explained her gift, he once again focused intently on her and what she was trying to very hard to explain to him. He could appreciate her insistance to pass along her knowledge and did not find it annoying in the least bit. If explaining this was important to her, he would certainly not attempt to get in the way of that. Rising his lightly-tanned body from the water, streams of the steaming liquid tracing down the various defined lines in his toned figure, the Harlot stepped out of the bath and to a nearby bench to fetch himself a towel. Patting himself dry and securing the towel around his waist, the Harlot then went back to his supplies picked out a small supply of hair pomade. Another towel was used to completely and utterly dry his dark locks of hair, then a small amount of product was applied to his fingertips. Keeping his gaze locked on S'Essy to make sure his interest was plainly conveyed, he began to quickly and fluidly style his hair.

After she had finished speaking, Matthew was silent for a few ticks, handsome face thoughtful. After a bit, he slowly began to speak, eyes focused on her own cheerful and steady gaze. "What makes you think I wish to be healed?"

Tilting his head at her, he finished styling his hair, resealing the hair promade and setting it beside the rest of his cosmetic supplies. "If this was truly an injury that needed healing, could you not lay hands on me and use your blessing to make it go away? If such a thing does not heal it, doesn't that mean there is actually nothing to be healed? Rest assured, I do feel things, I merely do not understand them and find them mostly unpleasant. If I was to be utterly and totally filled with them, it would be then that I felt I was wounded."

He stepped towards her, blue eyes bright, light reflecting from them and causing a dark blue ring to briefly flicker around each iris. "To me, it is all of you that are in need of healing. How do all of you people function?" He lifted a hand and pointed at her pregnant stomach, his eyes not leaving her. "Does it not terrify you that your child will experience all of the emotions that you yourself have no doubt experienced? While happiness and love may bring many people joy, what about the ones who toss themselves from the edge of a cliff due to sorrow and pain? To my eyes, it seems that emotion can kill, just as easily as you speak of it giving life. Do you ever wish to protect your child from such things? Or is the possibility of joy worth the danger of despair?"

The Harlot gave her a moment to understand his words and then address them if she wished, then nodded in response to her final question. "I do not feel bothered by your request. If you would like to meet some other time, I am certainly fine with that. You can find me at a Touchy Subject or the World's End Grotto."

[S'Essy]

Her eyes widened and she got surprised when he just said directly she wasn't funny. At least he didn't find her funny. She was blinking a bit but just dealt with it, she couldn't be funny for everyone and she wasn't sure if anyone could be funny for this man. She shook her head. "No. I mean that you don't have to take people literally all the time. If you don't find them funny don't act like you are amused. I don't like if somebody lies to me and isn't honest with me. I feel embarrassed if someone is just acting just not to hurt me." Well... he was brutally honest.

Then the atmosphere changed a bit around there, at least for her. Her smile vanished and she knew Matthew wasn't angry or anything, but he was so cold, it was a bit scary. She couldn't catch her breath. Healed? "But I didn--" she couldn't finish, he was keep talking. S'Essy just didn't understand, she knew her Common wasn't good but she was sure she didn't say that. The Healer didn't want to heal him, what was he talking about? She didn't move as he stepped closer, then something unusual she saw in his eyes. A dark blue ring... She was probably just seeing things. She was actually shocked at his statements and questions.

Her hand wandered to her belly. That man either didn't know anything and long forgot how emotions works really or just had really bad experiences. Either way she felt sorry for him and while she was a bit annoyed about his accusations, the Konti wanted to clarify a few things for him. She tapped a sensitive spot for him certainly. But she felt she could help, if that was true or not, she couldn't know for sure, at least she could try. It couldn't go wrong could it? Maybe backfire at her...

She took a deep breath, and tried to smile, though it was harder this time, only pushed out a slight smile. "Matthew, darling, it's okay. Let me start this again because probably it's my fault. I said healing brings joy to me and to some other people. So naturally I like to heal and also bring joy to others. Matthew, you are NOT sick or ill to me. Nor wounded. Though there are certain wounds which I can't just heal with my healing. Because those wounds are invisible unless you know a person. But again, I don't think you are that case, although I still believe you have a wrong image about emotions which I don't get why. "

She looked down at her stomach then back staring into his eyes. "So going on. You have every right to think that we need healing. Certainly without emotions, everything would be easier for me also. And I'm a mother, it terrifies that I have to take care of a little life and I'm responsible for her. A life, Matthew. I'm scared what will happen to her! And if I could I would protect her from all bad but I can't... and I don't think that's also good. " Her hand were caressing her belly. "If you don't experience the bad, you won't know the good. And without it, you can't change or get better. As a healer, I experience many bad things! Many negative emotions! But I get up and move on, and that makes me stronger. And yes the possibility of joy worth the danger of despair."

She took another deep breath. "I don't feel I'm a terrible mother for it. There is danger everywhere. Giving birth to her also dangers her life... she will get sick! She can get a dangerous disease which can kill her, Matthew! Am I scared to give LIFE to her when I know, there is a possibility that she can get sick and suffer because of it? Petch yes! And I'm a healer! And let me be honest: I think there is a higher possibility that she gets killed by a murderer than she dies because of her emotions." Then she stopped talking and talking. She got all of the terrible images and her sentences were going in a circle. "My point is emotions are part of us. We can either learn from them, experience them and control them or we can be afraid of them. Matthew, I don't think you're a bad or sick person. I simple wanted to help you, because I like help people and I just would like to understand your fear of emotions."

[Matthew]

Matthew watched the Konti, expression as passive and seemingly apathetic as always. "Nothing is your fault. I am not offended or any such thing. I should be the one to apologize, if I misunderstood your statement. I would actually argue that I am damaged or broken, somewhere. The ability to understand and empathize with emotion is something that is natural to everyone. If everyone operates one way and I another, then it would stand to reason that I am the defect. Not that this is a bad thing. I am not utterly broken, I merely function differently than what seemed to be intended." He was quick to finish styling his hair, moving to the damp towel he had used to dry off and wiping his hands clean on the cotton material. While she talked and explained, he slowly nodded, offering small noises from the back of his throat in a subtle sign that he was continuing to carefully listen. As she finished, he tilted his head, considering all of the wisdom she had spoken.

"Fear? Perhaps it is. I would not know." He still didn't seem offended, or in denial. He was plain and simple in the way he presented himself and the way he presented his words, perhaps making him rather easy to hold a conversation with.

"However, I do not think emotion plays a factor in avoiding danger. Dangerous things can be avoided with common sense and logic. Half of the danger we bring upon ourselves is because of our emotion. Bravely going into battle, angrily hunting down a murderer. I am sure you know it is rather dangerous to bear child. What led you to the here and now, where you decided to birth a little one within your stomach? Was it love? Loneliness? Was it a moment of lust? I doubt it was logic. It never is." Blue eyes shot down over her figure, dancing over every inch of her with an oddly bright sheen, devoid of anything but blurring thought. After a few ticks he looked up, continuing on. "What I feel I have experienced is neither good, nor bad. Such things barely exist for me, except on opposite extremes. I rarely change, this is true. But I have gotten better at what I strive to be better at. I have also gotten stronger. I have always thought this was because I was able to explore where others could not because of my lack of emotional understanding."

Like when he had started to learn how to kill.

A flash of white teeth, a hunk of flesh tugged free, cold fat oozing. Spitting out the human meat, Matthew stared at where he had sunk his teeth into the neck. It was possible to bite deeply enough to kill, provided there was little fat in the way and the muscle wasn't well-developed.

Not good enough. Teeth were not an effective weapon. He had evolved from that.

"But you and so many others, you wield emotion to empower you. I have always found this fascinating." His head slowly tilted from one side to the other as he stood there, crossing slim arms over his bare chest slowly. "It is interesting you should offer to help. You see, I am looking for a healer. There was a specific one that used to live here, but he is here no longer. Recently, I have been feeling more. More powerfully. More distinctly. However, I did not want someone to show me how to understand these things. I wanted them gone. Every last bit of them. Are you capable of that, or do you believe that is not the sort of help I need?"

[S'Essy]

No reaction, no emotion, nothing could be seen on him. S'Essy couldn't read the human at all and it was both amazing and frustrating. And it seemed she was wrong, he wasn't really angry. Somehow she wasn't surprised. "It's okay." If he was damaged or not, she couldn't tell. She made a bold statement that he wasn't but Matthew made her thinking about it. She couldn't decide, she had doubts. So she didn't make any more comment on that one. If she would get know him better, perhaps she could tell. But they've just only met. Who knew? She didn't that was for certain. "Maybe, maybe not. You have the emotions, you just hide them and ignore them as hard as you can."

The Healer could argue about this topic for a long time with the Harlot, it was clear they didn't agree. Yes it was dangerous and she admitted that it could bring many danger but... she didn't know why was it important to focus on these. She could focus the bad side on everything but that wouldn't solve it. Her eyes didn't move as Matthew was checking her tummy. Love... that was it. "I didn't decide it. It happened without any plan. I felt myself as a mother. And I'm glad it happened." She listened to him further more. Rarely change but he has gotten stronger because he understood something she didn't know. She shrugged, many people knew something better than she did. " I was able to explore something you couldn't probably. But that doesn't make me or you better than the other."

The interesting part yet just to come. He actually found it fascinating that she could wield her emotions to empower her and he was looking for a healer. She couldn't turn that request down. If she was needed, then she would help! Though his request was harder and probably something she couldn't directly solve. It was the opposite she wanted to help him with... S'Essy had to realize, she can't force him although that didn't mean she can't help. "Look, I might not agree but it's not my place to judge. I never judge, at least I try not to. I will help you Matthew." She nodded and offered a smile. "But you know I don't think you can purge your emotions from yourself without understand them completely. How could I fix a broken arm, if I don't know where it was broken and how it was broken? Sorry darling, you have to somehow understand them. And how you use that knowledge is up to you then."

It was also probably time for her to go. She extended her arm and gently patted the Harlot's head. Then she came out from the pool and rub herself dry with the towel. "But of course you really don't wanna deal with them... so be it, I'll help you out. When and where shall we meet? You see if you really require, I'll talk with my lover and somehow deal with him and I'll pay you at the Touchy Subject, just can you tell me what's.. erm.. your price?" It was so strange for her to say that. "But I would prefer for convenience to meet somewhere else, but where could we talk privately in peace?"

[Matthew]

After receiving the small pat on the head, Matthew slowly removed his slim and muscled body from the waters as well, heading over to where he had earlier placed a dry towel. Unfolding the cotton material, he began to slowly and precisely dry himself, making sure not to miss a single spot.

"It is more than simply ignoring them, but it is very hard to explain. It seems like everyone else is born with the understanding of what happiness or sadness feels like inside themselves. I have faint memories of such a thing. But at some point along the path, something changed and now here I am. Sometimes I feel a warmth and I wonder if that is happiness. But I cannot know for sure. A warmth is only a descriptive word. It is not a literal warmth, of course. It is very annoying." While the Harlot stated that it annoyed him, the bland tone in his voice made such a statement rather hard to believe.

Again he nodded, thoughtful expression slipping back onto his handsome face. "I believe that is correct. It doesn't make either one of us better, it merely means we operate differently. It is certainly good that people are willing to undergo childbirth. I would not be here if such was not the case, and I feel that I would have grown up to be a very different person if my parents had not have raised me as well as I believe they did." After he finished completely drying himself, Matthew set about the task of cleaning up after himself. First he neatly folded the towel, slow and precise in his movements until it was as perfect of a square as he could manage. Then he gathered up his supplies, making sure the rims were wiped clean of product before corking them again and returning them to the small backpack.

At her words regarding what he wanted healed, Matthew nipped at his lower lip and chewed on it for just a tick. Others had said very similar things. It seemed like many a person felt that it would be required for him to actually indulge in and explore his emotions before he could come to cure them. It seemed to be the opposite of what he felt should be done, but she wasn't the first to suggest it. Perhaps in doing so he would find that he was actually like others, able to be powered by the chaotic sensations that danced in his veins.

"My prices vary. They go from 6 GM to 40 GM per bell, which can consist of anything from pleasant conversation to the more perverse and twisted of sexual acts." Stepping over to the small locker where he had stored his clothes, the Harlot soon began to get dressed. "If you do decide to visit me there, you do not have to purchase me for a sexual act. If you wish to find me elsewhere, I stay at the World's End Grotto. I am normally there in the morning and afternoon hours. If you came early, I would be willing to accompany you wherever you think would be best suited. There are multiple private venues in Zeltiva. If you do not know of them, I would not mind showing you."

Fully clothed, Matthew offered her a soft and polite smile. "However, it is time for my next shift. It was pleasant meeting you, S'Essy. Perhaps we shall see each other soon." With that, the Harlot was gone in a few graceful steps, heading towards his place of employment to sell himself for yet another night.