by Bandin Everdance on May 30th, 2021, 8:22 pm
"Having your joy taken away," Bandin paused. "I've never really felt that, but it sounds horrible. Maybe a part of life, but that just sounds like a worthless platitude. I don't know."
He seemed to keep a calm mood as he listened to her and talked; he wasn't getting bogged down in the sadness of the conversation. He was just letting her speak, vent maybe, and just be a person--and he was doing the same.
"I've never really had that kind of joy you're talking about. Maybe. I'm not sad. I'm happy most of the time, content for little moments here or there, but rarely consistently happy with staying still. Maybe because I never let myself deal with things that I don't want to; I just leave," Bandin got a bit more introspective. "I've never really thought about it that way, but maybe it's true."
He looked forward, gazing into the jungle and likely his own thoughts. "I'm just always reaching for something. Not meaning itself, I'm not sure that exists, but maybe the feeling that people tried to name with that word. Can't seem to get it right, though."
He was taken aback a bit when she said what she did about being happy if a son of her own had remembered her as he remembered his own absentee mother; he hadn't meant it like that when he'd described the woman, he began to realize that he hadn't really know what he meant now that he was forced to revaluate the statement about remembering her laughing.
His naturally charismatic façade broke for a moment. An almost nervous laugh came out, as if he was uncomfortable with touching such a tender topic as his abandonment. No, maybe not uncomfortable, but exposed by having an opinion on it that was not one of his own which he had armored himself against over the many years.
"I don't know," he repeated the line from earlier. "I've gotten over her leaving. It doesn't bother me anymore, but you can't help but wonder about that sometimes, when you're alone with your thoughts."
"For what it's worth, though," he changed the subject, "I don't think you'll be running that inn into the ground anytime soon. If nothing else I'm sure the baking will keep people coming back; I didn't get to taste it, but it smelled amazing."
He tilted his head to the side in feigned acquiescence; his eyebrows raised in a returned good humor. "That could be the three days on open water talking, though."
If nothing else, Bandin was very good at returning to a calm, happy center. It was his armor against the world and his place of dealing with it.
He was caught up in the mischievous smile that she gave him when talking about the library. A smirk formed on his own face in response. He'd just seen a trait he'd most liked in people within her cryptic response: whimsy.
Her hinted familiarity with the library also made him a bit more inclined to think they had some things in common.
"Okay," he said, relaxing into the moment. "We'll just have to see together then."
Bandin found himself still agreeing when she mentioned family. "My uncle passed away before I was even born. Ruth was my only blood. I made family in the streets and in the pubs. That taught me that you do get to choose them. From then on I've just been doing that all over."
He smiled remembering all the faces. It wasn't a smile caught up in longing, but rather the best moments of memory. The conversation continued to ebb as they came upon the pools and he made his initial comment about just how they'd been made.
"I can't pretend I know much about that sort of magic," he said when she informed him that Duncan had made the pools. "I can only imagine how useful being able to control fire could be in a forge, though."
He smiled along when she told the story about the man finding flaw with her shower rock and then fixing it. He continued to do so when she revealed a bit more about her father; it was clear how high the woman held the man in her memory.
"Well, I think he'd be proud," Bandin said honestly. "I've met a lot of friendly people out there, despite what you might think with the state of the world, but only the most so would strap themselves to the gills with jungle gear and take a newcomer out on an adventure last minute."
He raised his hands to indicate the growing wilds all about them as they went.
He tried not to get to caught up on the mention of the Isuas cloth. Crafting materials, no matter the kind, always peeked his mind. He just loved discovering the secret, rare things about the world, especially if they could be used to make new things. "That's actually really interesting. You all seem to take a lot from the past."
He felt his heart peak up just a tiny bit when they reached what appeared to almost be the edge of the cut back brush. Taz confirmed his suspicion by setting her pack down. He watched patiently, figuring he'd figure out what she was doing momentarily.
When she handed him the ball of red strips he rolled it in his hands, accepting it and still waiting for an explanation.
Sure enough, she quickly went into one: speaking of moving like an animal and not a man. Bandin indeed walked stiff and strong, like a traveler used to the road, but one that was always concerned with cutting from point A to point B as efficiently as possible.
What she said made sense, if a bit conceptual at first.
When she put her hands upon his hips, Bandin remained calm as can be, as if he was more than at home with others being in his personal space. He gave her a friendly, almost goofy grin, and met her eyes for a moment when she first came up upon him. "A wild thing, eh?"
He allowed her to move him about, his mind refocusing on trying to get a feel for what she was doing. "Broken at the hips. Got it. And loose. I'll give it a go, but no promises that I won't be louder than our Ixam friend there. Might take me some practice. I always stuck with the caravans when I was out and about."
His air of gentle amusement became a bit greater as the woman moved from her explanation to so naturally hacking down a damn tree. She seemed more than familiar enough with the blade and Bandin suddenly felt a bit more of a healthy respect for her. A wild thing, indeed.
He took the staff she handed him and shifted it into his free hand. "Thanks. Just to make the walking easier?"
Her explanation about jungle snakes and the jungle itself being something worthy of being the main preoccupation of his mind followed. "I guess that's a good point. I've always been more of a destination person, even if I've enjoyed the journey the most at the end of it."
He'd listen to her warnings about marking the way behind them and the path being deceivingly hard to follow once you'd left it behind. She even mentioned something bad happening to her. "Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. I've only just met you."
He did his best to loosen his stride as they went. It was a bit unintuitive, but he tried not to try too hard all the same. Of all the times he'd been a fresh student of this or that, he'd always discovered that trying to learn too hard could be just as bad as not trying hard enough. He'd keep the instruction forefront in his mind and he'd do his best to allow time to flow it into his body.
"The jungle really is that dangerous, huh?" he asked; he was no stranger to respecting the wilds, even despite their beauty, but Falyndar seemed to pose a certain sort of special danger; it was simply teeming with life, from the small bugs to the faraway song birds. Even the air hummed with a certain latent energy, but he couldn't place exactly what it might be--perhaps it was just the newness of it to him.
The young man probed limbs with his stick, before carefully placing down the strips as they went. He found himself admiring the woman's handiwork as they'd go; she was in deceptively good shape, he noted as her thin and strong shoulders flexed this way or that, despite her lean frame. He actually began to suspect that she was quite a bit stronger than she looked.
He did his best to keep up with her, making small talk and catching the occasional look at a butterfly there or even a blue'ish monkey here. The jungle was so foreign; he was finding himself enthralled by the experience.
"How long does it take to get used to all this?" he asked as he laid another red strip over a sturdy looking vine; he made sure that he could glance back and see the last one, though he noted to himself that it was getting a bit far away and he might want to pay a bit better attention to the effect of the varying foliage on the markers. "This isn't like Syliras or the Sea of Grass at all."
"I mean, yes, they're dangerous and alive, but this place is packed so close with everything that it's almost overwhelming. I'm almost surprised anyone's cut out of a life here at all," he commented. "I'm surprised we're mad enough to try."