The Threads of Spring (Hadrian)

[Kendall Saarinen]

OOCSorry if this doesn't work. I can go back and change it. Kendall only had one outfit so I wrote him as borrowing some of Hadrian's. Let me know if that doesn't fly. Timestamp: 5th of Spring, 511 AV After the previous day's fiasco with the fire Kendall was in a dire need of new clothing. Cathan was most likely out hunting so Kendall was happy that Hadrian had offered to take him to get new clothing. Although Kendall had been in Syliras for little bit he was still unfamilar with the city's layout. He was glad to have Hadrian by his side to show him around. He was of course nervous about the shopping date, if he could even call it that. He had to think in masculine terms. Did guys even shop for clothing together? He never really had to think about that fact until that moment. He had been shoping with a guy before but it was Kay'lan. He shook his head to make the memories of Kay'lan go away. He was past him now. He had to be or the memory would weigh him down forever. Kendall stood alone, watching the people of the city pass by him. He seemed a bit out of place already, not to mention the fact he was wearing an old pair of Hadrian's clothing. He would have much prefered his own but they were burnt to a crisp in Hadrian's fireplace. The clothing was sized for a man a half a foot taller than him but Kendall was lucky they both were extremely skinny. His green and blue eyes turned down to the sleeve that was covering his arm. He lifted it to his nose and breathed in. He knew it was a little strange, but the smell calmed him. It smelled sweeter than the clothing he used to steal from Kay'lan. He was thankful for his gift from Ivak at these times. If it was not for the fire that wrapped around his wrist he was sure he could have been to nervous to stand still. Instead he kept a light gaze upon the passing people walking. The people who didn't suspect anything of him like they had back home. "Where are you?" Kendall mumbled quietly to himself. He was already feeling awkward standing alone. His eyes grazed the crowds for Hadrian, Kendall's heart only starting to pick up in speed when his eyes locked with his.

[Hadrian]

"Here," he said quietly from behind. He hadn't meant to sneak up on poor Kendall, but he had approached quietly and when his arrival went unnoticed, he paused to admire the gold of Kendall's hair. Perhaps Hadrian should seek out that rogue Animator and find himself a more admirable body. If he shed the skin of his identity, he would still be essentially himself, but he could cut the ties that bound him... It probably was best to avoid such lines of inquiry. "I apologize for being late," he said, though he wasn't sure he was late. "Let us find you some new clothes, then." He smiled, making an honest attempt at being cheerful. It wasn't that the cheer was false, but he was generally stoic and rarely shared such feelings with others. But Cathan was so forthright, and Kendall shared such secrets. It seemed important to be so forthright and sharing in return.

OOCI have another thread for the 4th, but I don't think they need to conflict. If they do, I'll ask Dimitri if we can make ours later. Game on!

[Kendall Saarinen]

A warm smile came to Kendall's face when he heard Hadrian's voice chime in behind him. He had to hold back his female drive to turn around with an excited squeel and wrap his arms around him. Since the first time his arms had been around Kendall he had wanted nothing more than to stay in them. Friendship was nice though. At least it was no longer just him and Cathan roaming the cities alone. Instead of letting his female emotions take over Kendall simply smiled back at Hadrian. "It's good to see you Hadrian. Don't worry about being late. I tend to drift off a lot into daydreams. It keeps me occupied." The drifting was not always a good thing. It often lead to flashbacks of the night when he got kidnapped. They were not too bad at the moment though. He simply was watching the people walk past and trying to think about where they were going and what they were like. "I guess burying my head in all those books at the university paid off in some ways. They gave me quite the imagination." He missed the seemingly endless days of being immersed in poetry and prose. He hoped someday he could find a new place to study if he wasn't going to return to Zeltiva. Although Kendall had been in Syliras for a little while now he still was unsure of where everything was. He looked up at Hadrian with a small smile. "Do you mind leading the way? I'm afraid I still don't know where a lot of things are." He was a bit embarassed. Maybe he should have done a bit of exploring on his own now that he was in the city. He had been in what felt like a haze for a while now and only recently was it starting to clear. He felt a bit of pride at Hadrian's side. He liked that the man smiled at him, even if it looked a little forced at times. At least someone was smiling at him and taking the time to help him. It helped to wash away the faces of his family and drown out their words. That was what water was for right? To clean away what was dirty and ailed.

[Hadrian]

"I used to love reading stories and poetry," he admitted, gesturing with his hand toward the street, almost as if he were being polite to a lady. But once they were on their way, he just walked beside Kendall as companionably as he was able, trying not to be weird as he was often accused of being merely by being. "But I was urged in other directions, and now I mostly read histories and magical texts. Probably boring compared to what you prefer. I'm going to take us to the Elegant Weave. Is that all right? I don't know much about clothing, but I know that the Elegant Weave is supposed to be high quality work." Hadrian's own clothes were mostly serviceable things, understated and unimpressive for the most part. He wasn't trying to make a statement with them, just keep the sun off his skin and the weather out for the most part.

[Kendall Saarinen]

Kendall thought back to all the books he used to read. It was mostly poetry and stories due to the fact that is what his mother read. He had read a few more informative texts, mostly for work at the Univerisity but he could not help his natural pull toward the more creative texts. "No writing is boring. It's just not read by the right people I suppose. There is passion in all writing or it wouldn't be written. At least I suppose that to be true." Kendall liked to think that way for the simple reason that he hoped there was someone out there who would like what he wrote. "The Elegant Weave is fine with me. I'm good where ever we go." Kendall was simply happy to spend time alone with Hadrian. He liked to know that he could befriend someone other than Cathan. Not that Cathan was not good company of course. Kelvics were created to be companions though. They were born with the need to keep the company of others. Humans did not need that. They might have wanted it or craved it but they could live alone and without someone at their side. Hadrian had chosen to spend time with him even after he had found out about his secret. He had never imagined that someone would ever want to be around him after knowing what had happened back in Zeltiva. As they walked Kendall tried to hide the small grin forming on his lips. He was thinking back to Zeltiva when he used to walk with Kay'lan. Granted, Kay'lan was a much shorter companion and much more self-assured. He missed having someone at his side. Although he knew walking with Hadrian made him feel better it might have looked a little odd to on lookers. He wanted to talk to Hadrian to try to break their silence but he was not sure what the man felt comfortable talking about. He did not seem to talk about himself much which made Kendall that much more curious about him. Kay'lan was never that big of a secret. He loved to boast about himself and his homeland in the Everwinter city. He was an open book to anyone who wanted to read him. Hadrian seemed to be more like a locked diary in a way. He was hard to read and if he contained any emotion it was well hidden. Once at the store Kendall marveled at the Syliran clothing in The Elegant Weave. It was different than the style of Zeltiva although not too drastic of a change. His eyes grazed over the store until they spotted a garment, one he had to have. He walked over to it with a bit of a rushed pace. After all, what if someone got to it before him? He ran his fingers over the fabric with a smile. He would have loved to wear this back at the university. That did not seem right. He looked over the garment in his hands and released it from his grasp with an embarassed blush. The article of clothing that had caught his eye had been a beautifully embroidered skirt. It had been a silly mistake but he should have expected that it would have happened at some point. He was prone to simple and stupid mix-ups much like this one although one would have thought he would have learned by now. He looked at Hadrian with an embarassed look and then looked back at the clothing. He was completely unsure about what he should pick out for himself. He had worn what he arrived in Syliras in because it was all he had. Now that he was faced with choices he did not have the slightest clue what to wear. He was embarassed to ask Hadrian what his opinion was, or more so, he was worried about what on lookers would think. He did not want to embarass Hadrian. Slowly he walked over to the more masculine clothing, looking over it feeling completely lost. None of the clothing apealed to him. He could not help but look over to the dresses and skirts with longing eyes. That is what he wanted. A nice flowing skirt and comfortable blouse. Although, on his current body that would be a little strange. He looked over to Hadrian in desperate need his help. "Hadrian, what do you like?" It was a simple enough question. He was not blatantly asking for help yet he assumed that Hadrian would catch what he was trying to say.

[Hadrian]

"Oh," he said, embarrassed by his lack of sense where these things were concerned, "I don't know. I normally go for things that will hide singe marks and other damage from work. Nothing flashy, just stuff that will wear well for a long time." He shrugged off his lack of knowledge in this department, and skipped back to those longing glances he had caught. "You should think about someplace like Ahnatep rather than Ravok, perhaps. Down there the men wear kilts... "But... you're intent on going to Ravok. You'll be traveling so you'll need something hardy, going north where it's cooler, but it's Spring now so it will only get warmer. I'm sure we can find you some things. I imagine you could even throw in some color. You've got blue, green, yellow, and..." He paused, finding himself cataloging Kendall's colors. The first two were his mismatched eyes, the palest of yellow was his hair. The word that was escaping him was the perfect one for that skin tone. He blinked, blushed, and looked away. A hand reached out to run over a black linen shirt, something he might wear with summer eventually coming. If he was going to truck with the Knights, he had better dress more impressively. Not so well that they would think they paid him too much, but better than the patched hodge podge he had collected in his student years. "I'm sure you would look good in anything," he finished lamely.

[Kendall Saarinen]

A small blush spread across Kendall's cheeks when Hadrian spoke of his strange clothing choice. "I think I might try to stuck with more masculine clothing. Although it is not what I am used to it is probably a good idea to try to dress like a guy." He smiled a bit at the mix up. He wanted to think the Hadrian's comment about Ahnatep was a little bit on the joking side although at times it was hard to tell with him. He was so serious and stoic that at times Kendall wondered if there was not a hint of joking woven in with his words. One would think that dealing with a man like Kendall would have taken a bit of a sense of humor. At least to attempt to negate the strange things he did and said. The colors that Hadrian chose were quite curious. Blue, green, and yellow. He was aware that people took notice of his oddly colored eyes. In fact, it unnerved him a bit. It was one thing for someone you cared for or had a connection to did it. It had meaning then. When strangers did it it tended to scare him a bit. Eyes were the windows to the soul, if one believed in the saying. He did not even like letting people in verbally. It was why he tended to speak so little. The amount of words Hadrian got out of him showed that Kendall trusted him and felt comfortable. Not many people got more than a few sentances out of him. It was for this reason he did not like people looking him in the eyes. It made him feel exposed, like they could see inside of him. He would have let Hadrian look as long as he wanted though. He felt a bit touched that Hadrian remembered the color of his eyes. Back when he was a girl most guys never could. A small smile played on Kendall's lips when Hadrian uttered his complement. "Thank you Hadrian. I hope I do. I wasn't even sure if I looked good in the clothing I was wearing before." He thumbed through the shirts slowly trying to let his body choose the clothing instead of his mind. Around Hadrian Kendall felt his more feminine side working it's way back to the surface. It was still trapped in a male body but it could shine through his personality. As much as he hated to surpress it, he had to or he would be gazing at the skirts and blouses for the rest of the visit. He thought the colors over in his mind and tried to look for the clothing that matched them. He tried to think back to picking out shirts for his brothers when it was their birthday or a special occasion. "What would have looked nice on them?" In his mind he was trying to dress his brothers even though the thought of them angered him a bit. He was not dressing himself anymore but someone else and in that mindset the choices became easier. When he felt satisfied with his choices Kendall looked at Hadrian as if waiting for him to tell him that he picked the wrong clothing or that is was too feminine. He knew that those thoughts were weighing on his own mind. "So, is there a place where I can try these on?"

[Hadrian]

Hadrian had been a little embarrassed, so he let Kendall do a bit of browsing on his own. Wanting to look a bit more impressive for the Knights and whoever he might meet that could become part of his network, he decided cotton was the way to go for Spring and Summer, and laid things over his arm to try on, mostly blacks and grays. The occasional upward glance told him that Kendall was pleased as punch to be shopping, though a little irked at being relegated to his new gender's fashion. But unless he wanted to move to Ahnatep, he was going to draw too much attention that way. When Kendall asked about a changing room, Hadrian was unsure, but a helpful shop assistant indicated the fitting rooms, which proved to be rather full. Hadrian stood in front of one when he found it and called Kendall over. "Here's one for you," he said, smiling a bit at having found one. It didn't occur to him to try things on. Things fit if they weren't so tight that he couldn't breath nor so loose that sleeves trailed into food or experiments. Having held them up to his body, he was relatively certain they would be fine. "I'll just wait out here," he assured the blond man.

[Kendall Saarinen]

His eyes gave one has look at Hadrian as he walked into the fitting room. He felt his heart pick up pace as he saw what stood in front of him. Kendall should have expected it to be there. What was a fitting room without one? His history with mirrors had not been too friendly as of late though. The last one he looked into had been shattered to pieces. He could pretend everything was alright when he did not have a reflection facing him but when one did reality had to kick in. Kendall kept his eyes low as he got ready to try on the clothing. He tried to think of things methodically. He would try on the shirts and then move onto the pants. It was a simple enough plan but the mirror kept staring at him. It was begging to be looked at and Kendall was already beginning to fall victim to it. He was not looking into the mirror but corner of his eyes betrayed him. He could see the vague blur of the reflection in his peripheral vision. He needed to get out of the fitting room but it would have appeared a bit odd to rush out of the room without trying on anything due to a fear of mirrors. Not that Kendall thought that would surprise Hadrian too much. Willing himself to move on, Kendall pulled his shirt off while facing away from the mirror. He felt like crying even if he was not facing the mirror. He could still see his body when he pulled off his clothing. It was not as toned or masculine as most men’s bodies’. It still was a man’s body though. There was no denying it. He felt the tears coming but he pushed them away. He had to focus on the issue at hand, getting dressed. He grabbed the blue shirt first. He had taken to wearing long sleeved shirts or jackets almost on a daily basis to hide the fire on his wrist. It was not because he was not proud. It was the farthest thing from that. It was simply because he was a bit tired of people trying to dissuade him from his following of Ivak. Kendall tried on a few shirts which seemed to fit although he was not sure how they looked on his body because he refused to turn around. Maybe he could ask Hadrian how they looked. He was unsure if guys usually did that. His brothers always had with him but he was very sure that in that case it was a bit justified. He was their sister and they had wanted his opinion. He had never seen two men out shopping for clothing together before. He imagined it was a bit out of the ordinary. He had a hard choice. It was either look in the mirror or ask Hadrian how he looked. Either scenario seemed a bit out of the question. Not wanting to make Hadrian uncomfortable he decided to look toward the mirror. He started at his feet and let his eyes trail up his legs, and then his torso. He shouldn't have looked. He could feel the tears filling his eyes. The clothing looked fine but everything seemed wrong. This was not supposed to be his reflection. Sitting down, he buried his face in his hands feeling the tears fall warm against his palms. He knew it was silly to cry over his reflection but the memories were still fresh. He needed comfort but his family was not going to help and he could not tell Cathan how he felt. He was not ready yet.

[Hadrian]

When the proprietress of the store saw him lingering, she asked if he was all right. He nodded her off, uncomfortable with people as always, and looked like a vaguely shifty bodyguard standing outside Kendall's fitting room. Were he counting the time, he might have wondered what was taking so long, but with Kendall out of sight, it was easier to let other things into his mind, and he wondered where he would go after Syliras. Of course it was nice to have another contract from the Order, but eventually they would give that business to Devan, he was sure. After all, Devan had seen his original prototype in the making and surely that spider-mind could weave up something similar. Perhaps Avanthal as he had been thinking. Or dare he brave Ravok to be with Kendall? And Cathan and perhaps Sondra? Would Vizyous tag along? But he eventually noticed worried glances coming his way from the shop assistants and seamstresses. Blinking, he realized that there were muffled sounds coming from the fitting room that oughtn't. "Kendall?" he asked, stepping into the fitting room on instinct rather than thinking about what he was doing.