Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Eldritch on August 29th, 2013, 1:04 am

I haven't commented here before but I feel I must now. What I see here is get 500 grades out and be completely awesome.

8)

Challenge accepted.
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Fallon on August 29th, 2013, 6:58 am

Challenge received! :P

Come, get shiny stars, be awesome. Let me know when you do grades, get moar shiny stars!

Then get enough to go swimming in them. As you do...

That's a point, I best get the other star bases sorted. To Photoshop!
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Fallon is a Master of Intimidation, "At this level, a Master intimidator often unconsciously intimidates their target unless the intimidator monitors their stance, tone, and actions to prevent this. Master intimidators will nearly always have a reputation that precedes them unless they have taken special care to prevent it."
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Kreig Messer on August 29th, 2013, 7:09 am

Swim in them.... you must all strive to become Scrooge Mcduck!
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Feeel thy wrath!!!!

"You gents best be careful, I'm feelin' mighty rabid right now... and your the only ones around to bite"
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Fallon on September 6th, 2013, 11:15 am

Meanwhile...
Somewhere on the train to LARP...

Yeah, classy I know. Me putting up a notice 3 hours before another event of mass goblin slaying, dragon kicking and being a wolf queen. Don't worry, we're only trying to save the world again as always this weekend.

So, anyway, I'm larping don't expect any replies from me this weekend, I'm busy killing things. And maybe also upsetting the plot team with my plans - as you do.

Tatta m'dears.
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Markus Andres on October 7th, 2013, 11:35 am

Hello there, first time poster, long time stalker.

What I imagine when you're wearing your bear suit in chat.

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(Teach your non-waving bear-friend some manners!)
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Fallon on October 18th, 2013, 4:44 pm

Do bear with me!
I'm just trying to get by!

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I don't often write 'down' scraps. Scratch that, I never write 'down' scraps - or at least I don't try to out of choice. Maintaining a happy outlook in life is my general forced duty - it allows me to work, do my job, do my course, get through the day and allows me to bury whatever it is that is bothering me. It's how I work, how I live, and how I cope. Most of the time at least - of course, I'm human and thus have an eventual breaking point.

Perhaps to some this isn't a big issue, but to me, myself and I it is. So please, no messages on how my life is better in comparison to others and how I'm privileged or how it's "not so bad" or "nothing in comparison to..." because, quite frankly I can't handle it right now. It ends up just making me feel more pathetic and that it's nothing but a petty situation - or that I'm some crazed attention seeker that's just trying to, well, get attention. Which in turn just leaves me with that distinct sour taste and me trying to shirk off and deny what is going on - leaving it generally raw, untreated and a general sensitive subject about myself. And to some it's also grim. I should really stop waffling really. So to the few readers that might just possibly come this way, if you don't want to read on, well stop here.

spoiler :
Three days ago I got diagnosed with depression.

No, I'm not trying to wave the 'poor me' flag. I can't let myself do that - so, please forgive me if it does turn out that way. Although in some respects its useful to know what is exactly wrong, it does also help in giving a firm kick in the gut. It also doesn't help when you are told what the issue is but that nothing can currently be done about it - Or at least until I prove who I am and wave a trees worth of paperwork in front of them (which, should be tomorrow some time).

So what does this mean? Well by definition it's:
  • Severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
  • A condition of mental disturbance characterized by such feelings to a greater degree than seems warranted by the external circumstances, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.
-From the Google 'Define' function.

To myself though? It's disabling. Very much so. Not in the sense I'm going to go and do something drastic - apparently I've been "caught in time" and thus can be watched and studied like a lab rat.

Allow me to explain. I can barely think, I barely register and for the most part I simply switch off - that or the imagination kicks into over drive. Which in turn leaves too many feelings and emotions that are over flooding to the point that once more that I can't register them truly. Or if I do think on them, it generally ends up with some "Over the top and hysterical reaction" in accordance to some of my RL peers (others just give me hugs and listen to my slurred nonsense on the possible existence of multiple realities and why they smell of dandelions).

I digress, a little too much perhaps. It escapes the point in what exactly I'm trying to write - whatever that may be. Even I don't know at this point. I think it's just vent releasing. Got to be. That or it's simply getting the message out. Or myself just trying to gain a sense of grasping what exactly is going on. Perhaps. I suppose if I was to describe it, it's a bit like reaching out and trying to grasp something, only for it to turn into grains of sand and scatter to the wind. Or if you try to jump up and grab only to be pulled down by this large weight and pressure, not only on your legs, but your shoulders and your chest. All paired with this whispered beating in your ear saying you're being, a weak and pathetic excuse for a being.

Anyway. Yes, moving on.

There's not much that can be done, in honesty. Short of looking at your life, trying to find points to change that are 'negative' and maintaining those that are 'positive'. So maintaining things like structure and friendly social interaction, whilst discarding other traits such as drinking and well... you get the idea. I can't really comment too much on the negative traits, as I'm currently crawling into my own little bottle of poison.

What triggers it? Well anything can. From stressful events, family history even right down to chemical imbalances and not producing enough of said thingie. It affects the young, the old, male or female - anyone simply. Everyone is prone to it, no escaping that fact. I do find however that it is kind of ironic how when I was younger I use to tell myself that there was nothing wrong, how I was a perfectly fine human being and 'normal'. And look where that got me. I guess the first part is accepting that it can happen to all, that and there is no over all single trigger. For myself? Well, even I don't know. All I know is that I've been following this once gentle (now a very sharp cliff) downward spiral for a while now and finally freaked out in some respects - or as I describe it, simply turning into a ghost and not existing. It's frightening, I won't lie. More so when you finally register you need a few stiff drinks in you to get some form of wording out - even if it is non coherent babble.

So, focuses.

Having something to focus on is apparently helpful - or at least according to the doctor. Something that is neither good nor bad, but that strange middle ground that is not directly related to yourself (i.e. Not "Oh, I'm alive" or "Oh I am in relatively good physical health" or "Oh my heart is beating"). So, for my focus, I do not have my course, education, dreams, wishes or LARP... I have Mizahar to thank. Founders, creators, mods and gods above, writers, players and whatever else you might call yourself, well, thank you. Something beautiful has been created here, something that will only keep on getting better. I'm not good at this stuff, that should be more than obvious by now. The idea should come across somehow. Maybe. Sadly I can't get into your heads and plant seeds on what I'm trying to say. So, yes, simply, thank you.

I think I used way to may comma's there. Wait, digressing again. Should stop that. It's a bad habit.

What can be done? Well a healthy course of medication in my case (when I'm finally allowed to get them) - I won't go into details, there's no need. That and maintaining somehow to my focus - most probably in the form of doing my job and making stuff. With the occasional witty comment or pun on the side - it's those little things that make me tick after all. That and taking one day at the time, even if it is simply living. Life (and time) will go on regardless - no stopping it and no forcing it to wait for me. That much I can accept. No matter how much of a bitter pill it is to swallow. Time won't stop for me, so why should I stop for it? At least some of my realist side has managed to break through in the end, along with the dreadful sense of humour.

All I've got to do now is keep going, somehow.

In conclusion, I'm coping - but it's hard going. I'll survive though, that's all I can do. Plus, it's what I've had to tell myself. Just take it slow, take it one day at a time. And now, at least I can do something about it instead of being left wondering if it truly is nothing. There has finally been a sense of closure.


Oh gods above. I look like I'm whining and complaining. Am I whining and complaining? Is it simply nothing? I really need to stop questioning myself. It's too complex and confusing right now. That and I most probably waffled way too much.

In other news, I discovered my first white hair. No, I don't know what caused it. And I'm most definitely not impressed. More so as I'm only just into the twenties. I think I might be able to get away with calling it 'white blonde' for a little while. Hopefully. Maybe.


Note to self: Make next scrap something so cheerful that it's sickly.

Fallon out!
FALLON
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Fallon is a Master of Intimidation, "At this level, a Master intimidator often unconsciously intimidates their target unless the intimidator monitors their stance, tone, and actions to prevent this. Master intimidators will nearly always have a reputation that precedes them unless they have taken special care to prevent it."
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Postby Fallon on October 31st, 2013, 2:39 pm

Just a small one...


Althought Radiant posted this a little earlier on the Syliras OOC (much to both the surprise and the amusement of myself) I feel the urge to post this up myself on scraps. I threw a little piece together in the midsts of my slightly odd giggly moment late last night (for myself) for the STs and graders out there. I call it, "Day of the walking players". Anyway, enjoy;

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
And good luck in NaNoWriMo everyone!
FALLON
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Fallon is a Master of Intimidation, "At this level, a Master intimidator often unconsciously intimidates their target unless the intimidator monitors their stance, tone, and actions to prevent this. Master intimidators will nearly always have a reputation that precedes them unless they have taken special care to prevent it."
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Postby Fallon on November 1st, 2013, 7:56 pm

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I'll let you guys guess the theme for the calender. Coffee! I'm a bit of a craver for it, more so as it will be my main source of sustenance to get me through NaNo. I'm still weighing up whether I'll be disgusted by the sight of it by the end of November, we'll find out.

I won’t lie. I’m crying about this. Not because NaNo is a bad thing, more because of the little bits of prep I’ve done the week before finally paid off. Like tidying the bedroom, doing the washing, changing the bed, getting in all the instant noodles and energy drink know to man, doing as much assignment work as physically possible, made a calender (as seen above) and most importantly creating a playlist to keep the inspiration going whilst writing.

So yes, I’m crying. But it is with a sense of satisfaction of "Yes, I have done something instead of lazed about doing naught!"

I’m not sure about the rest of you, but music is important for me whilst writing. I know some people work in silence and others have other writing techniques, but, for me it is music. It makes me tick, it makes me think, and for me it keeps the mind turning over and stimulated. So, in the midst of the designated ‘break’ (the same breaks where I get up, walk about the house scrounging for food and stretching muscles) I have taken to putting down the playlist I currently have set up for this month. Which, consists of a few good songs that work for me – of course, they won’t be to everyone’s taste, but hey ho. So, in band order (because it’s easy for me), enjoy some of my inspiration music that has thus far kept me going (along with a few fun novelties);

  1. Before Tomorrow Comes – Alter Bridge
  2. Wayward One
  3. Holding Out For a Hero – Bonnie Tyler
  4. Parallel Worlds – Elliot Minor
  5. Buck Rogers - Feeder
  6. Renegades
  7. Just a Day - The opening track for the European GT3: A-Spec is this.
  8. Walk - Foo Fighters
  9. The Promise - Globus - Are a subsidiary of Immediate Music and with it's 'Parent' company work in making trailer inspired music.
  10. Black Parade
  11. One Truth
  12. Orchard of Mines
  13. American Idiot – Green Day
  14. Horseshoes and Handgrenades
  15. Darkness on the Edge of Power – Immediate
  16. World on a String
  17. First Blood – Jason Graves
  18. Spiral – Jeff Williams
  19. Earth – Jesper Kyd
  20. Numb – Linkin park
  21. Rooftops - Lostprophets
  22. Out of the Frying Pan (And into the fire) – Meat Loaf
  23. Starlight - Muse
  24. Knights of Cydonia
  25. Nemo - Nightwish
  26. Hold your Colour - Pendulum
  27. The Otherside
  28. Welcome Home – Radical Face – Most (I think) would recognise this for the Nikon camera advert.
  29. Run – Snow Patrol - Fun fact; many artists have done covers of it, but Snow Patrol did the original version.
  30. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) – Vitamin String Quartet – It's a version done on the violins, minus the vocals of course.


Some, might find it cringe worthy. At least for me I can't help but have a little dance - or gentle sway in some cases - about in my seat whilst typing. Anyway, back to NaNo. I will get to 50k! Hopefully, fingers crossed. What can I say? It's my first time at this, and I have no idea what I'm doing!

Other than writing of course, but that's a taken already. Perhaps that is for the better, surprises are nice after all - keep us all on our toes. Anyway, best get the show on the road! Only another... 46000 odd words to go!
FALLON
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Fallon is a Master of Intimidation, "At this level, a Master intimidator often unconsciously intimidates their target unless the intimidator monitors their stance, tone, and actions to prevent this. Master intimidators will nearly always have a reputation that precedes them unless they have taken special care to prevent it."
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Fallon on November 22nd, 2013, 11:12 am

Tea drinkers
Part 1


I have a theory. One that will only be brushed upon because I am pressed for time. Anyway, after a very brief discussion in chat, I have now decided that there are certain characters who are tea drinkers, whilst others are not. Fallon, for example, would be a tea drinker - of course, she never really gets the opportunity too. Anyway, moving onto the rest of it, the discussion moved onto Wrenmae and tea drinking - and I of course leapt to the challenge and announced "I've so got to draw that!"

So, here we have a WIP, very rough and due to the lacking scanner I had to take a picture and heavily PS it to make the lines visible. So here we have the Wren-erus Tea-rus drinker-us rough format and before the entire ragged approach comes along. Enjoy!

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He must also have been well brought up, he had his little finger sticking out.
FALLON
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Fallon is a Master of Intimidation, "At this level, a Master intimidator often unconsciously intimidates their target unless the intimidator monitors their stance, tone, and actions to prevent this. Master intimidators will nearly always have a reputation that precedes them unless they have taken special care to prevent it."
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Words of the Resident LARP Goddess

Postby Wrenmae on November 22nd, 2013, 2:43 pm

This is delightful.

I have the best IC sister in the game.
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Sig by Shausha


This PC has the Blight gnosis. As such, you as a player need to be aware of what that consists of. Wrenmae has an invisible aura that amplifies sickness and disease. Wounds may become infected, small sneezes may become coughing, and a slight fever may become more serious. A nuit's body will also break down faster in the presence of the Blight. These effects may not be immediate, but within the few days following your encounter, the symptoms will manifest. Some sooner than others. I cannot control your character, so creativity will be left up to you. Best wishes and stay healthy!

Special shoutout to Fallon for my new CS
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