„I long for that“, he confirmed, and his eyes darkened as he thought about what he had lost, but then he pushed those unpleasant thoughts away, into a corner of his mind. Thinking about it, constantly dwelling on the life he had had, on the life he could have if things had been a little different was of no use. There was no going back. He doubted that even the gods were able to reverse time, otherwise the Valterrian would never have happened the way it had. This was, as much as he disliked it, the only kind of life he had. For a moment he had forgotten that she was a Kelvic again. His eyes only saw a lovely, silver haired woman. But as she talked more about her friend, he became fully aware that she was a wolf in human skin again. It fascinated him that she could be both. „A cat that is bigger than a wolf?“ he asked incredulously. Of course he had not seen Silvy in her animal form yet, but to him wolves had always seemed fairly big. „What kind of cat is she? A leopard? A lion? I never knew that there were lions in Avanthal. I always thought it was much too cold for them here.“ „You are right of course“, he continued. „Just as you have been right before. You can’t know what would be best for me and what I should spend my time with. You aren’t me. It’s something that I should decide, shouldn’t I? Do you think I should try to find that song after all, that greatest song that brought me to Sylira where I became as I am now?“ There was a certain bitterness in his voice as he asked this, but at the same time his love for music would be obvious to her. Music was one of the things that kept him going. „No, maybe expecting a sign from the gods is presumptuous“, he agreed. How could a woman that had only lived for a fraction of his life know so much? Was it due to her Kelvic nature? Maybe humanity wasn’t the answer to everything. Maybe it would be better to think like an animal, to see the world like an animal sometimes. Maybe everything would be better if he had somebody like her, if he could feel what she felt, if he could see what she saw. Maybe if you combined somebody that was half alive with somebody like her, that was more than alive, maybe the result would be perfect then, a perfect kind of bond. For a moment it almost seemed to him as if he could feel it, as if he could see everything through her eyes. For a moment it seemed to him as if he could feel the blood pulsing through her veins, the warmth of her skin. He could smell everything, the snow, the hint of the wolf within her, his own slightly unpleasant scent, death mixed with a hint of perfume. He could hear her heart beat. He could feel it as she touched his lips. He could feel both her soft, warm skin and his cold one, and he didn’t ask why, why she was doing this to him, a dead man, how she could make him feel this way. It just seemed perfect, natural, as if this was how it was meant to be. „This is it then?“ he asked, amazed. „Will it always be this way?“ |