Test:
Basic InformationRace: Human
Age: 14
Birthday: 77th of summer, 498 AV
Gender: Male
A.K.A. FrostbightPhysical DescriptionThe first thing you will notice about Riley/Frostbight, is that he is quite tall for his age (5'8''). He almost always has a hood over his head and stands tall in confidence. He fits every description of an assassin and may wield the abilities and weapons of one, but he is not at all. He is slim, but very fit. He is stronger than most humans his age. Most people may be intimidated by him even when he is not wielding any weapons. The Hawker family symbol can be seen imprinted on the back of his family's hooded cloak that he wears. He has blue eyes and light brown hair, but not many people see what he looks like under the hood. Character PersonalityAll though he looks menacing, Riley is really a kind person. He does not have anything to do with his family and prefers to think of himself as the only Hawker clan member. He rarely answers to his name, Riley. He made a nickname "Frostbight" to hide his identity and escape his family name. Riley is commonly called "Frost" and he doesn't mind it, he actually sometimes prefers it. He only shares his name and takes off his hood for people he can trust. He thinks of himself as a hero to those that need him, and to himself. Riley is easily taught. He is morally good and will not steal for his own benefit. When Riley sees the opportunity, he will use words to solve a conflict instead of fighting. He choose to learn a little bit of kontinese in hopes of learning languages as fast as the Konti do. Despite living in a lawless city, Riley doesn't have much trouble because some people are scared by him. And he desires that it stay that way. His motto is, "Don't mess with me, I don't mess with you". HistoryEver since Riley could remember, there have been fights in his home city. Brutal fights, ugly fights, and bloody fights, Riley witnessed them all. His family lived in the ugliest part of Ravok. He hated it there. He lived with his mother and his brother. His brother was nothing like him, His brother got all the things that Riley never got. It was obvious that his mother had a favorite. Riley's brother was roughly 3 years younger. Riley went to a poor school and got a very poor education. He would take the school books home and read them. He would always learn more from his own teachings. Riley is easily taught and puts his own style to the things he learns. Riley grew even more unhappy as he grew older. At age 12 he grabbed his family's heirloom that belonged to his dad, and left to live on his own. He wanted to bring peace to the fights that would breakout. Despite his young age, he worked alone and taught himself. He learned basic skills and now that he is 14 he hopes to bring fame to his family's clan, and work as a lawbringer to crime ridden cities. His goals set him in the city of Sunberth. LanguagesCommon-Fluent Arumenic-Basic Kontinese-poor SkillsIntelligence-10(SP=10) Intimidation-5(SP=5) Observation-5(SP=5) Running-5(SP=5) Stealth-5(SP=5) Unarmed Combat-25(SP=10)(Human ability+15) Climbing-5(SP=5) Acrobatics-5(SP=5) LoresLore of Disarming Lore of Luck Gnosis MarksNone (Yet) Equipment1 Black cloak(SP) 1 Pair of boots(SP) 1 Waterskin(SP) 1 Backpack(SP) -Set of toiletries(in backpack) -Food for a week(in backpack) -1 Eating knife(in backpack) -Flint and steel(in backpack) Hawker Clan cloak(Family Heirloom)(Being worn currently) Ledger100GM(Currently) Thread List |
Note: Test looks fine
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[frame=black][center][size=200][b][u]Basic Information[/u][/b][/size]
[size=120]Race: Human
Age: 14
Birthday: 77th of summer, 498 AV
Gender: Male
A.K.A. Frostbight[/size]
[size=150][u]Physical Description[/u][/size]
The first thing you will notice about Riley/Frostbight, is that he is quite tall for his age (5'8''). He almost always has a hood over his head and stands tall in confidence. He fits every description of an assassin and may wield the abilities and weapons of one, but he is not at all. He is slim, but very fit. He is stronger than most humans his age. Most people may be intimidated by him even when he is not wielding any weapons. The Hawker family symbol can be seen imprinted on the back of his family's hooded cloak that he wears. He has blue eyes and light brown hair, but not many people see what he looks like under the hood.
[size=150][u]Character Personality[/u][/size]
All though he looks menacing, Riley is really a kind person. He does not have anything to do with his family and prefers to think of himself as the only Hawker clan member. He rarely answers to his name, Riley. He made a nickname "Frostbight" to hide his identity and escape his family name. Riley is commonly called "Frost" and he doesn't mind it, he actually sometimes prefers it. He only shares his name and takes off his hood for people he can trust. He thinks of himself as a hero to those that need him, and to himself. Riley is easily taught. He is morally good and will not steal for his own benefit. When Riley sees the opportunity, he will use words to solve a conflict instead of fighting. He choose to learn a little bit of kontinese in hopes of learning languages as fast as the Konti do. Despite living in a lawless city, Riley doesn't have much trouble because some people are scared by him. And he desires that it stay that way. His motto is, "Don't mess with me, I don't mess with you".
[size=150][u]History[/u][/size]
Ever since Riley could remember, there have been fights in his home city. Brutal fights, ugly fights, and bloody fights, Riley witnessed them all. His family lived in the ugliest part of Ravok. He hated it there. He lived with his mother and his brother. His brother was nothing like him, His brother got all the things that Riley never got. It was obvious that his mother had a favorite. Riley's brother was roughly 3 years younger. Riley went to a poor school and got a very poor education. He would take the school books home and read them. He would always learn more from his own teachings. Riley is easily taught and puts his own style to the things he learns. Riley grew even more unhappy as he grew older. At age 12 he grabbed his family's heirloom that belonged to his dad, and left to live on his own. He wanted to bring peace to the fights that would breakout. Despite his young age, he worked alone and taught himself. He learned basic skills and now that he is 14 he hopes to bring fame to his family's clan, and work as a lawbringer to crime ridden cities. His goals set him in the city of Sunberth.
[size=150][u]Languages[/u][/size]
Common-Fluent
Arumenic-Basic
Kontinese-poor
[size=150][u]Skills[/u][/size]
Intelligence-10(SP=10)
Intimidation-5(SP=5)
Observation-5(SP=5)
Running-5(SP=5)
Stealth-5(SP=5)
Unarmed Combat-25(SP=10)(Human ability+15)
Climbing-5(SP=5)
Acrobatics-5(SP=5)
[size=150][u]Lores[/u][/size]
Lore of Disarming
Lore of Luck
[size=150][u]Gnosis Marks[/u][/size]
None (Yet)
[size=150][u]Equipment[/u][/size]
1 Black cloak(SP)
1 Pair of boots(SP)
1 Waterskin(SP)
1 Backpack(SP)
-Set of toiletries(in backpack)
-Food for a week(in backpack)
-1 Eating knife(in backpack)
-Flint and steel(in backpack)
Hawker Clan cloak(Family Heirloom)(Being worn currently)
[size=150][u]Ledger[/u][/size]
100GM(Currently)
[size=150][u]Thread List[/u][/size]
[table]http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic22371.html[/table][/center][/frame]
Explanation, Tag order was a serious problem here but also you were quite confusing when you put everything with 'center' tags when one set of 'center' , '/center' would be sufficient.
You had a center'/ 'style' then a '/center' then 'style' for one. It would probably be best to just left align it all or keep it all just completely centered to reduce the ability to make it happen again
.
Lores: you might want to rethink those
They're kind of vague, and there really would be no lore of 'luck' either. A lore is a specific knowledge about something that a character learned that has become ingrained. For example, "The basic principles and methods of sailing against the wind." if a sailor.
In short, One specific thing. Look at the lore page in the wiki for
more helpSkills, okay, good for a start if you really are in for a long haul. You can't do much till you have a skill of at least fifteen
I presume this character might become a vigilante if you want a 'lawbringer' but don't expect much law in a city of anarchy that has competing forms of anarchy in it
.
But, it's okay , we do have a place for vigilante's
>.>.
I suggest also for smoothness of reading sake to write out all numbers in the history like. "Age 12" should be "Age twelve."
Frostbight as the 'chilling' danger winter possesses is actually spelled, 'Frostbite.'
Other then that, I think this can help you a bit on the way. I Included a table tag to help organization. Keep it or lose it , it's your decision. If you need any bbcode examples I refer you to the
bbcode listBe sure to modify your thread list for dates and seasons later on. The best way would be a url tag. then the title of your thread.
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[url=htmlinkhere]Titleofthread here[/url] - Day of Season, Year
I would suggest, just deleting that post, and then reposting the fixed text from the code box to help you then start moving onto whatever changes you decide to make.
Besides that; Welcome to the board
by Riley Hawker on June 9th, 2012, 1:50 am 
