Closed When the Bottle Becomes Full (Hadrian)

[Ricky Maze]

When the Bottle Becomes Full Chronicle 2.2 of The Part of Moving On Winter 30th, 512 AV; Late Evening Anger is another emotion, and it works just the same as denial does. It causes one to feel rage or bitterness, putting themselves and others down. Some tend to bottle that emotion up to avoid conflict, but that can only stem the tide for so long. Like every other bottled up emotion they all have a limit, a breaking point that must soon be breached.... Ricky was drunk all right. Sober enough to know what he was doing, but drunk enough to not figure out why. Of all the places he could've gone though he had to be here, the Fountain of Cascading Hope that now flowed before him. Its waters a pristine beauty that still couldn't match the pure magnificent art of the stonework. On this cold winter night though Ricky wasn't here to take in its beauty. No intead he was here for something else, something he had wished for that went completely wrong. Sobs could be heard coming from him as few tears would escape, angry at himself for taking such a chance at such a stupid idea. Ricky hated the thought of how everything went wrong, hated how he had nothing left. He hated not having a house, and hated staying at the inn. Mostly though he hated himself for being so pathetic, for letting himself reach the state of being he was in. So much anger and hate had been tucked away, for the sake that other's wouldn't see him crumble. He had bottled it in and tried his best to avoid aggravation, and now it was ready to blow up in his face. "Damn...you..." He mumbled between his shiver and sobs, wondering what he did to deserve this. Zeltiva was being hit with another plague so to speak, as rumors were already on the rise. Yet Ricky couldn't help but feel angry about that, as it was his home more then anything. "Damn you!" He looked at the statue that was suppose to depict Laviku, spiteful eyes now giving an icey glare cold as the air this time of year. "What did I do to deserve this?! What is it that makes Zeltiva deserve such a fate?! Why even bother being here if ya don't help us!!" He shouted as he collasped to his knees, rocking back and forth to keep from losing himself once more.

[Hadrian]

Hadrian had been sitting at the fountain for a little while, though on the opposite side as the mourning fisherman. Laviku had never answered his prayers overtly except in that Hadrian had not yet drowned at sea. He dropped a handful of silver coins into the fountain, a small show of thanks. Later he would go down to the sea and pray as he had been for some time, peeling away the layers of civilization, walking into the sea while conjuring Water in offering to the Lord of the Waters.

Tanroa was a mystery to him, too, and one that he might one day seek to explore, but not yet. Anyway, his prayerful thoughts were disrupted by tears and sad words. The voice sounded familiar, and so he overcame his knee-jerk reaction to quietly flee and walked around to see what was the matter. Perhaps it was his work with small children that had opened him up to the suffering of others, whereas before he had always tried to mind his own business and hope others would do the same.

Could it be--?

He didn't get too close, not knowing how Ricky might react to a surprise hand on his shoulder, however motivated by good intention.

"Hello, my sea bear," he said, a faint smile on his face despite his concern. "Why are you crying?"

[Ricky Maze]

Ricky heard a voice he felt was rather familiar even though he never met its source in person, but when Ricky looked to see the face it only took a few chimes for the deep memories of meeting Hadrian to arouse some familiarity. Indeed they had met before in a far off place at some distant time, where as they both learned quite a bit about one another. Where as their second encounter in the dream world was more accidental, Hadrian still seemed to feel more close as a friend than ever before. It seemed that fate willed that they finally meet again in person this time, and it would finally help create the foundation for Ricky's life once more. For the bear needed his little buddy now more then ever, and his timing couldn't be far more perfect. "I...I just have nothin left Hadrian....and its good to see ye again." He sobbed with a chuckle, realizing that he must look rather silly being down on his knees like this. "Is this a dream?" He asked with a slight hope that it was, seeing Hadrian here made him think that. Maybe if it were then he would wake up no longer having to feel such misery, and see his companion still remain alive once more. Ricky knew better though. He knew that Hadrian was really here this time and that this was no dream. He knew the reality was that there was no more Odis, no more good times to be had or dreams to be made real. Those were all gone now, and he had nothing left. "Nevermind. Ye don't need to answer..." He wiped his tearful eyes and stood up, ending his sobs with a pant and sigh. He would look to his dream fellow with eyes full of sorrow and try to contain the anger he had nearly lost himself too. He was teetering on a loose crumbling edge though, and Hadrian could no doubt see it in his friends face. "Last season...I got home and had no house left...and then I lost the only thing I had left. My dog who was like a brother..." There was a quake in his voice as he tried to keep himself composed, though the challenge provided to be a great one. His heart was heavier then a broken anchor left at the bottom of the sea, and was full of agonizing pain. His emotions weren't easily in check anymore as most days he only knew sadness and anger instead of joy and love.

[Hadrian]

Hadrian blinked in surprise, thinking it would take more convincing to get Ricky to believe that they knew each other. A dreamwalker could recall dreamlife clearly, but not everyone else. Something must have stuck, though. It was strange to see him in life; little things were different, the marks of his life upon him rather than just an projection of his self-image.

He shook his head in answer, but Ricky kept talking. The corner of his mouth quirked downward, but he wasn't very good at feelings.

"I'm sorry, ah..." he paused, trying to think of what to do. "Do you need a hug?" A hug he could manage, but he didn't have any Inarta ladies in his back pocket to offer as condolences.

[Ricky Maze]

He would've normally laughed at the offer Hadrian made, yet not even that sounded like it would help be it literal or joke. For Ricky had done bottled in his rage for the past few weeks, now that bottle was becoming full and he needed something to stop the flow. The incoming river of anger he had worked to divert was slowly filling that bottle to the brim, has been since he finally started facing the truth. Denial was an ignorace of reality, a escape from the truth. Yet the truth was more then this sea bear could handle, in a world of endless struggles this broken man was truly brought down. Sure he may be finding a way to get back on his feet, but the empty cocoon that was once his heart waited for life to fill it once more. Odis was the primary source of that life, the dog was indeed a blessing on Ricky's behalf as much joy was brought to him...now nothing remained. Nothing but misery and anger, anger that repeated itself constantly. Making Ricky hate things and himself, and even worse blame and put himself down like he was dirt. He was tired of feeling so low, like the pit he fell within was to deep to climb out. He wanted out of it more then anything, to climb back up and regain a foothold in his life. He looked up to his fellow dream strider, eyes full of sorrow he wish he could hide. No matter how hard he tried though he was unable to hide it, he had done it for so long that he could no longer contain it. "I'm havin the hardest time Hadrian..." He admitted finally, the weighted burden pressing on his shoulder's. "I have not a home. My fishin gear is ruined, I live at an INN!" He gritted his teeth as he felt the humilation grow, yet he just couldn't stop. "And the petched up part is that I'm still alive! My dog died that night but I'M still alive! ME!!" He pointed to himself as he gripped at his leg in anger. "How the petch am I still livin' when it should've been me!!" This no doubt made little sense to Hadrian, for he hadn't been here to witness the plummet Ricky had taken, no he was of elsewhere in Sunberth. Handling an important quest no doubt that was even more life threatening, while Ricky was stuck wallowing like the sad pathetic man he had become. However it was all unfolding before Hadrian's eyes, the effects of this inner turmoil he struggled with while the two halves of his being waged an endless war. Fighting survive and perservere while at the same time unwilling to continue on with his life, both were an endless arguement that Ricky couldn't settle, no matter how hard he tried to shut it out...

[Hadrian]

No, Hadrian could not quite grasp the emotional state in which Ricko found himself. He loved animals as much as the next person, he supposed, but he preferred Kelvics who could take human form and speak to him. There was a deep-seated fascination with them, that he was beginning to understand now he could trace his chavi back through past lives. But he frowned, wishing he could comfort the man he knew only in dreams up until this point.

"I'm sorry," he said, placing a tentative hand on Ricko's shoulder. "I wasn't trying to make fun of you. I shouldn't make light of it, I suppose. But I can help. I have a cottage that I'm not really using."

This was assuming the spirit Noaru was no longer haunting it, but the ghost had spoken of travel, however a ghost managed that. He had assumed they were tie to a person or to a place, but he was learning new things about the spirit realm all the time.

"I know we've only met in the realm of our imagination, but... would you like a place to stay? Then you can resent me instead of the innkeeper."

[Ricky Maze]

That's right. They've only just met in the real world, yet it felt as if Ricky knew him before. For a long time actually come to think of it, wasn't it because of the dream though? He couldn't necessarily recall how it was or what the dream was like, but deep down somewhere his instincts... 'You know you can trust him, he's helped you realize more then your idiot mind can comprehend.' 'What? Oh gods. What do ya want?!' 'I told you, I'm lookin after you. Since you're resorting to such a pitiful state with lame excuses.' 'Not listenin...not listenin...' He flushed his mind the best he could to drown out his thoughts, thinking that he was being driven to insanity. Yet he couldn't hide the fact that he looked troubled it was more then enough to show that he was a mess, clearly Ricky was losing his mind now that his...what was it; instinct? He didn't really know for sure. Just that he was thinking to himself, and himself was thinking back. "I couldn't be mad at ya...what ever have ye done to me..." He said to Hadrian without realizing what the lad had just said, until it finally sunk into him of course. "Wait, what?" He looked up his friend with ernest eyes, would he really have a place for this broken fisherman to stay? "Why? Ye haven't known me in reality long enough, but yer..." It was indeed unexpected for him, his initial thoughts being on how he would thank Hadrian and refusing to be such a burden. He could deny he was in need of help, but where in Mizahar was that getting him? Absolutely petching nowhere. After what Hadrian had seen there was no doubt the lad knew Ricky was far from fine. "I...couldn't lad, that would just be a burden to ya." He admitted as he looked to the fountain, remembering the wish he had made. If this was now the time it was kicking in then Laviku must have a sick sense of irony, because none of this is what Ricky had in mind for things "starting to look up".

[Hadrian]

Hadrian was fairly sure that Ricko wasn't much older than him to be calling him lad, but it wasn't something important enough upon which to comment. The man was so troubled, Hadrian wasn't going to hassle him about such things. But Ricko's sense of machismo or whatever seemed to be getting in the way of Hadrian's compassion, so he quickly changed tactics.

With a hand on the broken fisherman's shoulder, he said, "Look, Ricko. I have rooms at the University for one job, and rooms at the Farson Home for another. My cottage is probably going to be unused, and at least if you are living there, nobody's going to break in, and someone can keep it up for me. You don't have to pay me rent while you get back on your feet, and if when you're standing again, you want to move elsewhere on your own, or start paying me rent if you must, then we can discuss that. In the meantime, while you're looking for work and all, you can help me at the Farson Home for Orphans. You're strong. You can help with things. It'll take your mind off of things to be helping other people."

[Ricky Maze]

Was Ricky really strong? He didn't feel it was so, being down in the dirt like he'd been. It was a time of trouble for the young fisherman, after the loss of his treasured companion he was never the same. Of course there was still people Ricky felt was there for him, but he didn't want any of that. No such need for their pity, Ricky preferred being alone. Yet here Hadrian was right before him, offering a helping hand like they were best buds. Could Hadrian really feel that same connection from the first encounter in the dream world? Was he really expecting little from Ricky? At the cost of which the "sea bear" has been living with? Sure there was the chance that Ricky may regain his foothold, but what if the chance never occured for him? Would Hadrian be able to deal with him then? There was no real answer for Ricky, just an expression surrounded with question. It was beyond the fisherman to accept help in a position such as this, but what if things worked out in the end? Sure enough Ricky would owe a LOT more then just a appreciative thanks. The other questions had answers that remained to be see, the main prior question that stood before them all was; Does he accept and take that chance or decline the offer? "I....I..." His eyes sincere as he struggled with his internal turmoil. Pride demanded that he turn down, while instinct told him that pride be damned. It was a comfusing state to be in, such an opportunity hadn't come along to him in a while. He was tired of all the problematic stress and work, along with coping with all of his issues, well enough to the point where believed there would be no break. Now here at last right before him, that break came before him late for it's appointment. Yet.... "I dunno Hadrian.... I guess... I guess it couldn't," He swallowed hard as his pride became insulted by his decision, "couldn't hurt to try." He agreed with great hesitation as he felt the burden weigh upon him, though wasn't if it was lifting or not.

[Hadrian]

"All right, then," he said with a smile; perhaps this was how he dealt with the orphans, too, laying out logical arguments and then being pleased when they saw the light of his reason. "That's settled, so shall we stay here or get your things and move you in?"

He put his hand out to help Ricko up, though the sea bear certainly didn't need that. When a thing was decided, he felt it was best to act on it straight away; then it was settled and one could move on to other things.

"It's so good to see you," he said. "I knew that we would know each other, but this is the first time I've met a dreamer in person. If only I could find that Sira, eh?"