Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Roscoe on June 8th, 2014, 1:58 am

No, not if you don't want to. :) I just noticed you mentioned it is all.
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Lani Stranger on June 8th, 2014, 4:20 am

Image
And in this occasion, the template will not match the contents ... at all. Why? Because I want to keep it in a light mood, if not for you, but for myself.

I've had theories as to why I keep having this dream, but I'm not going to write them down.

So when we start off, I am not a girl. I'm actually a little boy, which is odd, but in the dream, it doesn't really matter. The person that I am has significance to me, but that is a story for another time. There is no peace in the dream, so I start in a situation where I am hiding, in pine trees in someone's yard. I can see clearly across the street from where I am and I'm looking at someone who looks like my cousin, but clearly isn't. Just imagine a mid-twenties brunette who always wears work clothes but no makeup. She's actually rather pretty, but that is besides the point. On the doorstep of the house next to me, there is a man, but I can't see him. But honestly I can compare his presence to some freaky Freddy Kruger man, but he doesn't really have a face or a body that I am aware of, he is just there. That is what scares me for the entire nightmare, I know that he wants me in pain or dead, but I don't know where he is or how to attack him myself. I am totally useless.

As the beginning of my horrible night continues, I realize that I can't hide from him, this man always knows where I am. He finds in completely amusing chasing me down city streets and yelling at me. At some point it gets foggy and its sort of like I'm running through lava, its painful and hard to go through. And hell, I'm freaking dodging fire-tunnels. I see the girl who looks like my cousin again and I'm screaming for help. Well actually, I'm not sure if I am asking for help or telling her to go away. The nightmare is so unclear, all I can really focus on is running away. Well I end up running with her for a short while, the un-faced man is right on our heals and I hide her behind some bushes and keep running to distract him from her. At some point I stopped being the little boy and became myself, which was a definite advantage as far as my running. But the man was still on my tail.

Because this is a dream and it probably already doesn't make any sense, there is a pool up ahead of me. You can think of a regular 8 ft deep, in-ground pool that you would find in a motel or a backyard, except there are pipes all through it. I have to swim to dodge them cause I know there is something at the bottom of the pool that I need to get to. But I don't know what exactly.

I make it to the bottom and past a few pipes I find myself in a room, like a boiler room/cellar with only two doors. I don't feel like this man is right on top of me anymore, I know I am being chase, but it's as if he couldn't get past the pool, his threats and laughter are muted like they are in another room. That's when the dream is almost unbearable, I find that I have my littlest sister in my arms. She is four now, but in the dream she was still only two. I love my sisters so much, I would do absolutely anything for them, and to have the most innocent of my siblings in my arms and in this danger with me set me off the edge. I don't even care about picking a door now, I just run through one which lands me in this really long hall of showers. Like the ones you see at the gym or in a public pool. It seems like a really good idea to hide in one of them, even though the florescent lights throw my shadow all across the hall.

The entire time, my infant sister is totally oblivious to what I am going through and is utterly quiet, which is very unusual, but I am thankful because I don't have to worry about her giving us away.

Then the man is in the hall. He isn't even looking for me anymore, so I peer out of the shower curtain to see where he is.

He stands proudly next to three bodies. Strung up like paper dolls on three different shower stalls, replacing the curtains. I don't want to describe them for you ... but I can see everything: muscle, bone, blood, shredded skin and absolute pain is all I can see in what is left of their faces. Its my cousin, not a girl who looks like her, but actually her this time. Next to her is the little boy, except he is not cut up like her, you can see the tire marks that shredded his skin at such a very young age. That's a weird think about cars. You think they woul just bruise you up and break a few bones, but you come out from under the tires far more bloody than you should be. His eyes are open but they have sunken in and have lost their resemblance to actual human eyes. And next to him ... is my sister, cut up and strangled like my cousin. She was no longer an infant either, but a four year old girl who had cut her own bangs and lost her baby-fat. There are no words to describe the emotions that were going through me. Fear was anger and sadness was fear, I didn't know what to think.

And he just laughed. The face-less man just laughed and laughed as if it was all a joke. I'm still sitting in the shower, only one eye peering past the curtain and he hasn't seen me yet, but he turns on all the showers. He gets his result as freezing cold water shocks me out of the shower, but I don't know what to do, so I just attack him. I planned on digging my fingers into his eyes, punching him in the throat, doing anything to force him to feel the pain he put on these people that are so close to me. But then I wake up. I never get the chance to repay him for the eventful night.

It was horribly explained and probably didn't seem all that horrible to you, but it was more terrifying than you can imagine. Even now, as I write this, my heart had picked up and I just need to forget about it right now. That was the original dream. I've had it six times since then. After the third time I became aware I was having the dream and tried to make different decisions. I would run a different way or not say anything to my cousin. I would take the other door or just not jump into the pool. But I still get into all of the events mentioned above and I am totally helpless to do anything about it. I can do nothing but run.

I don't think this was useful, but it might have been interesting. Maybe writing it down will keep me from having it again, I don't know ...

I said I would keep this scrap happy but a nightmare is just a nightmare and nothing can really come of it. It's not going to affect me in anyway and all I can do is try and forget because there is no point in making a big deal out of a few imaginative circuits that happen to have inter crossed with less-than-pleasant results.
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Grace Lechar on June 17th, 2014, 4:14 am

Happiness.

I don't know. I was asked a question the other day that got me thinking about it. They said: "Why are you always so happy? You don't live like everyone else, so why don't you want to?" I just shrugged and said life is good for me right now. Which it is.

So what is the secret of happiness? Is it being surrounded by those you love or connecting with nature? Is it working hard and having the perfect life? It could be. I don't believe in happiness as a solid thing. It's impossible to be happy 24/7. It just doesn't happen. We are humans with a lot of hormones and chemicals in our brains. I think I've got a broad range of emotions just like everyone else. And I sound incredibly cliche when I say this, but happiness is simply. I'm not going to tell you that happiness can't be material things. Anyone can name a few objects they can't imagine life without. It's those things that keep you happy just as much as a morning hug or kiss from a loved one.

But I don't think happiness was the word this person was looking for. Maybe they were wondering about satisfaction. When you are content with your life, it becomes increasingly easier. I can't claim experience of having this wonderful transformation between an unhappy soul and a happy one, I am quite literally still a kid and have not experienced much with my life, albeit I have experienced far more than most kids my age. I've always been a happy child and I know that. It's weird for me to watch people tear their lives up with saddens when all they have to do is look around a bit more. Even if things are bad, acceptance can still help them. It's something about letting things of that makes it easier. Stressing about things just make them so much more frustrating and harder.

I don't know, it's not an organized thought, it's not a complete one either, but it's still a thought. Share the happiness and satisfaction, it is honestly so easy to get, I can't understand why people just don't.
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Lani Stranger on June 18th, 2014, 8:10 pm

Alone Time and Hair

So I took some time off from Miz. Actually I am taking some time off from Mizahar. Only for a few days though. I do really love the site, but I sometimes will overbite and I can't chew everything. So I'm taking a break to cool off my brain before it explodes. I'm really excited for all these new plots and things, but everyone needs a break. So I should be around in a few days, but I forgot I had a life to get back to.

Actually, I don't. Which brings me to my next subject ... ish. This isn't really segment-able ... Anyhoo, I've started cleaning. I'm one of those weird people who can enjoy cleaning. Cleaning and math ... something about the rhythm of it is really satisfactory. So I cleaned my house today. Why would I abandon all responsibilities and clean a house? 'Cause I can.

I'll link you my music but the result of laziness is that my hair doesn't get brushed. I still take showers regularly and shampoo and all those awesome things. But if I don't have to go out, I don't have to brush my hair. Its the simple luxuries in life that make it great. Well .... I haven't gone out in public for exactly a week now. Don't get me wrong I go get coffee and things, but I just put my hair up. And the best part is! I don't have to make any important public appearances until Saturday. So what am I not going to do? Brush my hair. I'm genuinely curious to see what the results are. I can already tell you the frizz is absolutely insane. We shall see ...
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Lani Stranger on June 26th, 2014, 7:50 pm

So my hair fiasco was interesting. I didn't actually have to go anywhere on Saturday so I waited until today to finally brush my hair again. I found miniature dreads that hurt like hell when I tried to comb them out. So I went to my hairdresser and spent a ton of money getting my hair back to normal. I'm never going to do that again. Its an unfortunate task to just hand to someone else, but hey, he got a large tip. But now my hair is tamed and I have bangs and I'm not sure how I feel about them ...

Anyhoo, I was gone longer than I anticipated. I originally just needed a break, I'm not very good at handling too many things at once. I have an unfortunately very low tolerance for stress. Right before I was going to return back to Mizahar, I got a call from my University. There was a danger that they were not going to count my online courses for credits because I started later in the semester. Well to solve that problem I had to work with my professor to pull up time logs of me working on the course and I had to take the exam again to show proof that I had learned something. It was relatively easy to deal with, just very time consuming. So I was going to come back on yesterday, but instead I just slept and watched a movie. Lazy me xD

With those two updates out of the way, I will be retiring Grace Lechar. More news on that coming soon ... >.>

And on that note, I'm done for now. As I round out my thoughts and get everything situated between my accounts on Miz, I will elaborate on Grace's retirement.
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Neologism on June 30th, 2014, 1:33 am

My general theme for Neo has become official. Mostly thanks to others.

For subjects think interesting trees, deer and generally nature things. Theme-wise, I'm think dark hues and a sort of serene/mysterious feel.

Yup. That's it. I had to write it down somewhere. /shrugs
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Timothy Mered on June 30th, 2014, 2:01 am

Neologism wrote:My general theme for Neo has become official. Mostly thanks to others.

For subjects think interesting trees, deer and generally nature things. Theme-wise, I'm think dark hues and a sort of serene/mysterious feel.

Yup. That's it. I had to write it down somewhere. /shrugs

I am Timothy Mered and I approve this message :P

Anyway, grats on the theme! Seems to fit the mysteriousness of the name Neologism!

Actually, I just saw this post on the home page and it reminds me that I wanted to reply to your nightmare post. I hope it hasn't been bothering you as of late?
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Neologism on June 30th, 2014, 10:54 am

Once or twice, but what can you do, right? I personally think putting it on here might've been a mistake 'cause it sort of puts a dent in my chipper mood, but whatever :P
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Nonsensical Words & Thoughts

Postby Neologism on August 24th, 2014, 2:54 am

COLLEGE IS PETCHING SCARY AS HAI

That's it. That's all. I don't want to grow up. Plain and simple. Someone make it stop. Please.
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