[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Gossamer]

Life Changes - Breaks Come When You Need Them

Once more my life is changing for two weeks. I need a break from my job. I'm getting it, it seems. The 'busy season schedule' is killing me. When you have to be to work at 1am on Monday Morning and don't get off most of the day you get tired for the whole week. It's virtually impossible for me to go to bed at 5pm to get enough sleep for that shift... so I've been drained horribly and that's been going on since around August. Someone has gone missing at work and we are short handed. That's the number three guy in charge. I'm number four. Number one guy is going on vacation... so the big boss' s office is going to be filled by number two guy. Number two guy works in the office, doing a ton of dispatching and bill generating etc. With number three guy missing in action... he's literally been gone two weeks from work with 'back issues' and no one's heard from him for a while... that means I move up to number two spot for two weeks to cover the boss' vacation. He'll be gone until November 2nd. Two weeks. Two weeks out of the rat race outside and two weeks staring at a screen all day.

That means a break in the cycle of endless exhaustion. That also takes me through the vast majority of the busy season. Nov is traditionally when we slow down and December is when we go back to the normal shift. My husband who works inside the facility assures me this is going to be the case this year. That means maybe a month past that after I return where I have to get up four more times at midnight to be at work by 1am.

Thank the Gods. This is aging me and making me hellishly cranky. I get home and am so tired I cant even log onto my computer for very long. I usually take a nap for an hour, get up, maybe log on MIz to do HD tickets and pms, make some food, and maybe get some art done or hang out watching a bit of TV before I pass out. I've tried writing, but man its hard on no sleep and no inspiration and eyes so tired you can't really focus on the screen to get things done.

I worked Saturday too. Six days a week hasn't helped this situation. This paycheck literally had a record amount of OT on it.. the most I've ever worked. I'm just done with my job at this point... done with even moving today. I wanted to get some stuff done. But I'm finding that hard to do being so tired. So I went to bed last night (sat) at 7pm... which is way too early for me.. and slept until 7am... got up, got a drink of water, and went back to sleep. I then got up again at 10am. I'm feeling more human now, but kinda like I lost a huge chunk of time. I'm trying to make up for it today and hopefully I can. I'm going to do some baking, some writing, and maybe clean a little house.


This office job for two weeks is a good thing. I'll still be working those six days, but Saturdays are usually easier and I'm solo at work. And hopefully this means I'll be around on Mizahar more. To me that's a good thing. I'll have time to get some things done.

[Kaie]

Hope you enjoy the easier two weeks coming up, Goss! We all deserve some recovery time when things get crazy.

[Gossamer]

My new favorite cheer-me-up website. It's even funnier with the family friendly button on.

[Ball]

That is great

[Lani Stranger]

That is the best thing ever xD

[Gossamer]

Don't be one. You won't last here long if you are.

[Gossamer]

Hedgehog Love

Liminal needs some kick starting funding for Hedgehogs! I know, it sounds weird, but its his passion and they are adorable. If you have an extra buck around or even a twenty spot because you want to see Hedgehogs in a documentary... please give his kickstarter a look see. And even if you are curious about Liminal himself, then feel free to go view it and share it on FB if you can to get some of your hedgehog lovin' buddies involved.

If you do pledge tell him Mizahar sent you. It will remind him that he's still loved and cared about.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1282469881/african-pygmy-hedgehog-documentary

[Xira Hezmek]

I know drama comes up a lot in everyone's lives, but sometimes we can turn that drama into fun. Video related; one of my favorites and I hope you enjoy too.

[Mayhem1]

Xira, you do not know my intense love for Caravan Palace, that song, and that music video.

[Gossamer]

Tyler/Kechaiya

I'll keep this short and sweet if I can. Maybe not though, because I always have a lot of things to say about and to this idiot. If you want to know the exact gruesome details and what this player has put this entire community through, I'm sure going back through my scrap (and his which still exists on here) will give you plenty of dialog on it. Believe me, its far worse than you can ever imagine.

Well, its happened again. Tyler has returned and has been removed from the site. He's been Tyler, Tony, and a whole host of other names most of which have been female. His scrap is under Tony though, if you want to see some of the really fantastic lies hes spun.

I hate having to ban a popular player because they are a returning banned player that's been removed from the game time and time again for what boils down to pathological lying. He hurt the site tremendously. We all got emotionally invested in his story, not once but twice and even three times if you count his first incarnation as The Spire's AS. Each story has been compelling. Once he was a guy who suffered horrible emotional abuse from his family... and was rising above it to build a habitat for humanity house. The second main incarnation was of a man who lost the love of his life in a horrific car accident. He spent many hours getting his jollies off recounting a visit to the morgue to ID her body (he was never married and the picture he flashed of himself and her as a happily married couple was someone utterly unrelated off FB). The third incarnation was a deaf woman who was quietly suffering hardship and overcoming it. We were all fooled again and moved by their story until the truth came out.

These pretend lives sicken me because there are real people out there who suffer these kinds of things and do so quietly. They have real problems like deafness and abuse. Their problems are real. They aren't bored pathological liars.

I don't know what story Kechaiya spun for you guys, but I assure you it wasn't real. I don't know the details of whatever their lives were this incarnation. They stayed the hell away from me and for good reason.

For this reason.

Kechaiya is the player formally known as Tyler and has been under and will continue to be under a perm ban for life from Mizahar. I should have known because she's never said a single word to me her entire existence here other than a casual hello in chat.

Kechaiya is not welcome on Mizahar Newer players won't understand. I get that. Her alts are not welcome either. But I can assure you that NOTHING she told you ever was the truth. Basically it boils down to a promise I made to the player base to NEVER let this guy back on our site if I could help it. He was outed by a very long standing player of impeccable character who has nothing to loose by pointing him out and nudging me to say 'Jen... check carefully. I think this is him.' I did. It was. I confronted him. And well, the rest results in a grey name. And in booting him I'm keeping a long standing promise to Tyler himself.

The promise was this...

"If you ever come back, you'll get emotionally invested in a character, and even hiding you'll slip up because your ego won't let you lay low and be quiet. Once you do, someone who was hurt by you in the past will spot you and check you out. They will let it eat at them. And they will eventually come to me when they have enough evidence and I will check, recheck, and not stop checking until I am 100% sure they are right or wrong. And Tyler, you will loose everything, again."

And tonight, you'll sit home knowing you had fun with us for a while again, but in the end, no one trusts you. No one wants you here with your lies and your sickness. You put us through hell before with worry, thinking you'd suicide, and all the beautiful lies you told us about a dead woman that never existed.

Your need for attention sickens me. And this game will suffer you no longer in this incarnation. Sure, you might come back. You might invest again, like you did the last two times, but it will be found out eventually. Not because we hate you that much. No, you'll be found out because your ego does this to you each and every time. Your need for attention does this to you. We hate the lies you tell, the stories you spin, and the sickness you suffer from. It might not be your fault, but we have a choice about the people we surround ourselves with, and we choose to do so with those who are far more honest than you. Mizahar is full of imperfect people, but I believe they are inherently good folk for the most part as well. Most of them have never had chat in tears over a dead wife. None of them have compelled a group of strangers to stand suicide watch over you because you never say your going to kill yourself, but your faked sadness reads like a checklist for a hotline suicide prevention training.

I'm sure you'll make a pc and come right back. You always do. And maybe we won't catch you so soon. Maybe you'll reach out and touch a few people first. If that's true... so be it. But in the end we will find out. We always do. And I assure you that my mind will never change about your status as permanently banned from Mizahar for the duration of all of our existences.