I check mine a lot. There are certain fluffy sites on the web that don't give a good horoscope, but the one I use is particularly good in my opinion. The reason I check my horoscope is because I like to be forewarned about things going on. So I wake up, do my morning chores, and then settle down with a cup of chai to read my news feeds and horoscope before logging onto Mizahar. So, slightly forewarned I knew this week was going to be drama drama drama and crap crap crap. Next week will be a lot better. Sometimes you have to wade through it knee high to get past the stink and grime of the day to day BS and find the clear flowing water of life. And don't get me wrong. I don't mind the stink and grime, I really don't. It's a lot like having true evil in the world. You need a balance and a way to remind you that things when they are really really good should be appreciated. And I do appreciate them. I have a huge capacity to just soak in joy at times and let it level out the inner rage that is usually present.
I think that's why I've been working on off site projects so much and am cutting down a writing project that I 'finished' in the rough that's about 100,000 pages long. I'm also working on another project with a friend where we quantify and define daily rituals for both of us, and indeed rituals that we preform for rites in life. Right now I'm working on grief, which is a good thing since I lost a parent and have a well inside of sympathy for people that deal with death. It's teaching me more about grief too, and all the forms of grief that exist - some of which I've experienced and some of which I have no clue about nor probably ever will. My friend is handling childbirth and rites that go along with children and the insane planning people go about doing in order to make sure they birth their children during calendar dates that don't interfere with say other birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. There's a whole culture out there about this. And we write about popular trend rituals too. Coming together in this project has really brought us closer too. It gives my friend something to do as well while she recovers from her rotator cup surgery on her shoulder.
Anyhow, I'm off on a tangent. The point is I'm blissfully busy, day to day, and I have a lot of projects going on that don't involve Mizahar. Work eats a lot of time, and even the day I took off last friday was filled with about twenty calls from work before I got it through everyone's shocked head I wasn't there to run things. And someone with a 'take charge' personality needs to be there to sort through the daily chaos. Last night alone we had six blowouts, two trailer doors that wouldn't close once they were fully loaded, and the most retarded emergency possible. Our company is switching from Qualcom to Bluetree which are on board computer communication and navigation systems. They are sort of a laptop that does wireless logs, tracks the truck performance, has a built in GPS, and a back and forth text messenger between you and dispatch. Anyhow they started installing the Bluetrees yesterday and removing the Qualcoms and in doing so damaged some of the trucks to the point we couldn't use them. Said damage was punctured airlines under the dash, electrical issues, etc. So I had drivers, didn't have trucks, or had loads with absolutely no driver to power them because it was an owner operator who wasn't authorized to drive a company truck. All in all it was lovely, and on top of that super busy at work. I begged borrowed and stole trucks and drivers from other terminals, and even sent out hostlers with loads staying to handle the chaos all by myself. I even had to get shipping to reset some seal times so drivers didn't have to wait on loads to finish but got out on time. So managing all these crisis' truthfully made me feel like a rockstar. I kid you not. At the end of the day all the freight got delivered, everyone was happy (more or less) and I took a giant bow at the facility when I walked out of there early at midnight swinging my bag and feeling like a million dollars.
I've even started a blog that explores my journey in starting a new filly under saddle and the progress I'm making verses my stuck places and the problems that crop up. I've got a professional trainer on board to help too. She's reviewing the blog daily and offering advice and feedback, encouragement and support for a professional fee. I feel like its one of those weight loss things and my trainer is my weight loss coach. But so far its working out really well. I had the idea and pitched it to the trainer because I don't have the money to ship my horse off to her to get her broke (she's local, does cutting horses, and has an absolutely fantastic name) because starting new horses is expensive. Now the trainer needs more business and is in an economically depressed area, so if this technique works well for her, she's going to be able to take clients all over the place in this form of media and help folks get going. It's not something that's been really done anywhere before, but because of social media we can actually do it. Mine is going so well she's offering to get more folks on board and I get to read their blogs too. Then, when its all said and done, we'll have party nights, celebrations, and haul our horses into her place to have evening rides in her gianormous arena with all our greenbroke mounts.
I might sound like I'm rambling, but I'm really not. I'm making a point, subtly, that while Mizahar is really important to me, its not my entire life. Some people suggest I spend too much time on here, am stretched too thin, and take everything personally. I honestly don't. I'm not a basement dweller where the events in my life revolve around this site. I babysit it relentlessly because I love it. And I've been babysitting sites like this since about 1991. You see a lot of things. You hear a lot of things. And you get to the point where you feel indifferent when people you think are one way turn out to be another way, or they move in and out of your online life.
So, in comes the horoscope. See how I did that? Transitioning back to the actual topic I wanted to discuss.
July 26, 2012
A First Quarter Moon occurs this morning when the Sun in Leo forms a square with the Scorpio Moon. There is a crisis theme surrounding any quarter Moon phase, as we feel compelled to take action. Shortly after, we are made aware of how our actions affect those close to us, perhaps through trial and error. Whatever project or initiative we began around the New Moon on July 19th is now off the ground, and it may face its first obstacles. Mercury's quincunx to Pluto this afternoon could stimulate some aggravation or a tendency to be quickly stressed out. Something we communicate could trigger power struggles or hostility from others. Decisions made now are unlikely to be objective. Re-assessing decisions we have made already, or adjusting our plans, may be in order.
You should have seen yesterdays. Holy hell. After I read it the day before as the 'tomorrow's horoscope' I got some great sleep, ate well, and geared up for war or as the old saying goes 'loaded for bear'. I've been acutely aware that everyone is on an emotional rollercoaster this week and is apt to lash out, blow up, and cause micro shitstorms at will. I've seen a bit of it here, but I think the folks that work under me are the best at blowing over late loads, out of service equipment, badly loaded trailers. It makes me seem probably insensitive and unfeeling, but the real fact is I deal with screaming people daily... no hourly at work and its my job to back them down, calm then down, and get them moving. That leads to something else altogether when things happen on Mizahar - I don't have to so I usually don't and just let them roll. Calming drivers down means really just letting them blow and vent and getting them to release all the anger at once so they do so in the yard and not out on the road where they are in charge of herding a 60,000 lb combination vehicle up and down the road. The point was yesterday's horoscope forewarned me that the day had the potential to go to shit very quickly and reassured me that in the end it would be okay after all.
So nothing surprised me. Not really. When you know disaster is coming and prep for it emotionally and physically, when it finally shows up its sort of a relief actually. And truthfully your almost glad to see it because you've been going over in your head what you will do when things happen and I love getting to put plans into action. I'm a planner. I'm a hedge my bets type person, trying to see all the cards before they fall. That doesn't mean I can always, but I feel like a lot of things are fairly predictable. The ebb and flow of people on sites like this is one of those things. Part of that is because of experience and part of it is logical and part of it is intuitive. I've seen a hell of a lot of people come and go in all sorts of form online, being around a while, then not being there etc. The people that started with us in 09 are not the same people that are here in '12. The people that will be here in '14 are probably not going to have heard of the people who are considered popular today. Time and space changes things. Emergencies happen. Computers stop working. Work schedules change. Attitudes evolve. You enjoy them while they are around. You miss them when they are gone... or you don't depending. But getting upset about the tides makes no sense because life's overarching theme is always change.
Here's tomorrow's horoscope.
July 27, 2012
The Moon is in Scorpio and void all day. It's best not to begin an entirely new endeavor with the Moon void. The desire to experience our emotional depths, as well as the urge to penetrate the surface of life in order to explore deeper levels of existence, is powerful with the Scorpio Moon. We are fascinated with what others tend to repress, and are drawn to experiencing and understanding these things. We are less inclined to avoid important issues now. In some ways, we are attracted to crisis, as we see crisis as transformative and emotionally exciting. We would rather feel extreme emotions than nothing at all, as mediocrity or the "middle road" is felt to be unsatisfying.
Oh boy. That hits home to me too. I'm completely and utterly transfixed when otherwise normal people start throwing fits. I think other people are too because TV Shows like Maury and Judge Judy are fairly popular to the day-time crowd. To me the drama just blends into the background. The evolution of another's emotions and their arguments is what fascinates me. I like watching backtracking, the reaction to tone or posturing that may keep two people that otherwise enjoy themselves and each other turn into stark raving retards. My boss has this great sign hanging in his office that says "You'll never change anyone's mind by arguing. You'll only firm them up in their standpoint." That being said and with that prominent sign hanging behind him, my boss is the champion of champions when it comes to arguing. I actually love a good debate with him, but I have to back down when it reaches the point where it escalate and escalate and it's absolutely clear that no minds are about to be changed over the course of the conversation. Once I realize that this has changed from a civil exchange of ideas into a name-calling match or irrational series of accusations and personal attacks, I call the whole thing off and end the conversation the easiest way possible - "Love this debate! But I gotta get to work!". Who can argue with that? And off I go hitting the ground running.
Here though, I never feel the need to do that. I might give it a half-hearted try by really throwing out there the fact I don't want to argue by responding in one-liners or short bursts of info. But if someone is persistent and really wants to drive their point down my throat (by this time which is shut down tight because they didn't get the hint the first time that I wasn't backing down or changing my mind) I just let them. After a few minutes, a few posts, or a few PMs I just start loosing interest in the conversation as a whole because its too distracting to see how far someone will go to try and MAKE ME feel/think/do something I am not inclined to do. So with this personality trait prominent, its best to back off and avoid crisis altogether with a horoscope like that. I also started a new gnosis yesterday rather than tomorrow to avoid the new project situation as well.
So.. because the week has been so weird and the horoscopes so ominously apropos, I'm pulling daily tarot cards as well.
I had to laugh. A brilliant fighter, at a strategic advantage, facing no less than six opponents and standing their ground. When the 7 of Wands appears in someone's life, they are likely to find that in any sort of competitive situation, that they do fine. Things end up their way, the only choice being what way they want to pick. When the wands come out, you need to make clear choices and be very decisive in your decision making scenarios. Spelling out thoughts and feelings is good, reinforcing a position is better. Taking a stand is best. The only problem on my end is I haven't made any major decisions about anything so its hard to be clear or take a stand. True decisions always take time on this site. Plans never go as they were formed. I'm sort of knee deep in apathy atm so getting any sort of answer out of me at this point is going to be hard to near impossible. I consider myself a very passionate outspoken person, but after a day like yesterday I woke to a mellow very relaxed mood. I'm just not upset or angry about anything and mustering the urge to be so seems almost too much effort. So I'll save all the strategic positions for work and mellow out here working with the fillies and seeing if I can't stand my ground with them.
by Eridanus on August 5th, 2012, 1:00 pm 
