[Edreina's Scrapbook] When All is Silent, I Still Hear Waves

[Taylani]

Being a devout Christian woman (I teach Sunday School, I am the VBS director and I am heavily involved in my church) I have ran into both types. Those who truly are bigots and actively hate homosexuals and/or anyone else they feel have sin (and subsequently forgot that in the bible Romans 3:23 clearly states for ALL have sinned..so they really shouldn't be casting any stones) and the opposite side of the exact same coin, those who actively hate religious people.

Both are completely wrong. Some Christians feel it is their job to convince people of the Bible's truths and of their beliefs. But the bible does not say that at all. We are to share our faith but it is not us that do the convincing. So when I see someone browbeating another with the bible it makes me go all ick. There is a difference between browbeating and simply sharing. Sharing gives the other an option to back off, browbeating is something entirely different and is counterproductive.

I could go an entire 50,000 words talking about how God called Christians to love and not to judge but meh I will save it. Just like I am 100% anti-Westboro omgosh I have to actively try not to hate them (remember God called me to Love everyone even those whom I despise) that is how much I am anti-westboro because of their hatred and hate mongering.

Then there is the opposite side of the coin with the hate-filled atheist. I am perfectly fine with Atheistic people (I did appreciate sinoa's post before mine, it was very thoughtful). However there are those who hate every Christian (or insert any religious body here) for things that a sect does, "I hate Christians because they hate homosexuals" Um Christians living a biblical lifestyle hates No one.. so they are hating someone who is calling themselves Christian but not really living Christianity...and on top of that they are stereotyping all Christians because of that group and hating all of them.

My entire thought on Atheist who actively trash religion (and most of the time its calling religious people dumb, stupid, etc) are who are they to try and take away a measure of peace that someone has found? anywho..

Its a two sided coin for real and both sides need to realize that they are not helping their cause but hurting it. And both are horrible to live with.

[Sinoa]

One of my close friends is very religious, shes also bisexual. She falls under that love or at least tolerate everyone, which is really how Christianity should be. I know that religion isn't put in place to hate or judge people and its a real shame that is what people get out of it.
Despite the discrimination for being homosexual I think my mom is really the only one who pressures me into religion. When I was starting to doubt my faith I tried different religions like Buddhism and even tried witch craft, all of which my mom was supportive of (my mom offered to give me a ritual dagger...yah she was that supportive). Although when she found out I was starting to be come athiest she kept pressuring me to believe in something but it just made me more sure I was atheist.

[Taylani]

Jesus was a man of tolerance. Not even getting into theological debate about what is sin and what is not sin. It doesn't matter in this discussion because it is not really our place, Christian, Atheist, Buddhist or Cupcakeist (Yes I am thinking of converting to Cupcakeist) to judge the person. Jesus ate routinely with sinners, and befriended what most thought of as sinners at that time. He drank from the cup of a Samaritan woman who Jewish people in that period would throw away the utensils if a Samaritan used them. A man of tolerance. love, and peace..and we are suppose to emulate him (that is what Christian means, little Christs) not be opposite of him and be hate filled.

Love your post Sinoa again.

and um sorry Reina. I promise, no more highjacking your scrap

[Edreina]

Hey, I'm really glad that people with differing viewpoints are able to have a civilized discussion.


Now... Nightmare fuel:

[Sinoa]

awww that was wonderful

[Edreina]

On love,

My parents met at a bar. Hell. They didn't even really meet, my dad looked across the bar, saw her, and told his best friend that he would make her his wife. He sent over a drink and his phone number despite the fact she was obviously on a date.

After three years of being just friends, and six months of truly dating, my mother proposed while heavily intoxicated in Vegas. My father was set to leave for California three weeks after that, and so they were married two weeks later.

My parents were married in a library courtyard with plastic flowers.

In sickness and health, they have loved one another. My mother is a bit of a hoarder and my father has never been... healthy. The military ruined his body.

For richer or poorer, they have been there for one another. We lived at the line of poverty for nine years as my parents worked dead-end, minimum wage jobs.

To me, love is not cupcakes and sunshine and roses and constant movie-worthy romance.

It's being willing to eat ramen together as you go through a hard time. It's holding each other through the worries and the fears of life instead of trying to place blame. It is the strength to carry on no matter what life throws at you.

Your fancy job, car, and house do not matter to me. What matters is your drive to work and earn the life he has.

You can be as successful as Bill Gates or remain nameless to the world so long you live with passion.

I do not love you for what you have, nor for how you look, but how you live.

But hey... I'm just a kid. What do I know?

EDIT: Don't mind me... Just saving a cool link for later.

[Edreina]

So I heard you like Tom Hiddleston and Aliens...

And so I made you this.

[Wrenmae]

I really enjoyed that bit about love.


Could you tell us about a time you were passionately in love?

Might be fun to write about.

[Edreina]

Oh my... I guess I should tell this story... xD

One small note is that I have been in love twice. Once was a calm, safe sort of love that arose because after seeing one another for two years, I couldn't imagine life without him. The second time, it was a fire-filled passion that destroyed me for a time. That is the time I will tell you about.

His name was Layton, and we met when I jumped four bus seats to talk to him about Skyrim. From that moment, we were best friends. For me, it was innocent at first. I was, and am, blind to being flirted with. I'm so unused to it and I've always had male best friends, so I cannot tell the difference most times. I thought it was hilarious when this 6 foot monster of a man would toss me over his shoulder and carry me to class or kind and chivalrous would lay his jacket on the bleachers so I wouldn't have to sit somewhere cold or dirty. It was nice how attentively he would listen to me; he never once judged one of my odd quirks; one time, he even helped me separate my Skittles into their individual colors.

This went on for about four months, the end of school was nearing and he was readying himself to graduate. When he went to walk me to History (I never realized he left many of his classes early to walk me to mine) he suggested that we take the rear staircase, something I'd never considered despite my aversion to crowds and clusters of people in general.

So, I went happily.

What I didn't expect was for him to capture me in arms like iron and scorch my lips. From the first kiss, I was addicted. And, it wasn't the healthy kind of addiction either. People can say they are addicted to jogging or to chocolate or writing... But he was heroine in my system. He said that he couldn't graduate without knowing.

A few days later, his family had to pick up and move unexpectedly. It was sudden and sharp and I felt like I had lost a part of myself. But, he and I promised to continue trying to be together. We called and spoke on the phone every night until we fell asleep and skyped as frequently as we could manage. Things were going so well.

Before I go further, I must let you know a bit more about Layton. He was a gentleman, yes, and the reincarnation of Jack Black. He could make me laugh for hours and feel better when life was at its worst. But, he had a darker side. He had been raised by parents who were divorced and constantly poisoned his thoughts of love. He knew not what it meant for someone to love another unconditionally, nor what a functioning relationship should look like. He had this desperate need for attention and for affirmation from others, making him subject to peer pressure.

This is where our trouble began, really.

I had a life, of course, and did not always think to check my phone every five minutes for a worried text. He accused me of cheating, of lying, and general foulness. But I loved him and I knew it was his lack of self-confidence. I did my best to assure him constantly, to prove I was fair and loyal. I stopped going out with my friends to sate him, started having panic attacks any time my phone neared death.

It was torturous and unhealthy. But I loved him. Fiercely and passionately I loved him and wanted nothing more than to see him happy; I felt he deserved that after the life he'd lived. So I sacrificed myself again and again to keep things as they were.

Summer began and he surprised me by returning to our city, vacationing here with his family. For a weekend, we were truly a couple and were able to do all of the couple-y things (going to Walmart together, riding a boat out on the lake, getting sunburnt to shit because I'm the color of glue... xD ). I won't bore you with the details, but we make love recklessly and passionately. Such is the way of two youngin's in love, y'know?

He left, and things were better than ever.

As abruptly as a gunshot, it all changed only a week later.

He called to tell me that, since he was about to start college, he needed to buckle down and focus. I understood, of course. He said that he didn't have time for a girlfriend, but that he loved me and that he would return when he had made a life for himself.

I was suspicious, but I was too blinded by love to call him out on any of it.

Turns out, he was having a torrid affair with one of my best friends, a girl in his graduating class. He told her that I was a stalker because I sometimes texted to say that I hope he had a good day/all was well/etc. He told her we had never dated, never been together, never even seen one another since he moved away. I found all this out because she and I ended up having a long, lovely conversation.

I was crushed, to say the least. What he did hurt less than the fact I didn't see it coming, didn't see through him.

I loved him passionately and my heart was broken without a second thought.

But, it's given me a more pragmatic view of love and life. I'm not cynical, I don't have an issue about it. I don't sit here and worry that every other man will cheat on me. But I learned to see the signs.

[Kaie]

Props to Wren for making a great request, and to you for picking the story that seemed harder to tell. It's a funny thing how emotions can blind us from seeing things we swear we'd typically see right through, isn't it? Thanks for sharing, Edreina!