Award A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Gossamer on August 1st, 2014, 5:47 pm






Caelum's Review:


Shane and Aoren braid complex beauty into what might otherwise be a simple story in A Trade of Heart and Soul. With a good set of writing chops and an admirable flexibility of plot, they tackle the often tricky negotiations that surround magical training and do a good job of reminding us of the guts it takes for two young men to endeavor. What sealed the deal for me, however, was the intricate use of hypnotism and the eloquent description of the Chavi and Chaevena of which I’m particularly enamored. Hypnotism intrigues me and seeing divine powers used as an investigation tools is right up my alley. I applaud those who attempt to make any gnosis multifunctional

The thread is well worth a read and made both compelling and complete by the writers. They shaped it well.


Kavala's Review:


I’m a fan of threads that tend to have deep intellectual conversations. When a main character can produce a quote like this…

“Mortality is the weakness of all peoples and to walk among a reminder of it makes us long for those things we trully want and to think deeply on our life.”


You know you are in for a nice mentally stimulating ride. My mind is spoiled. I don’t want just dialog, eyebrows raised, and an occasional smile. I want to feel like I’m really in the scene. Shane and Aoren paint vivid imagery in their descriptions as they wander through this thread.

Leather creaks, boot heels connect with the stones in the stone garden, and two strangers strike up a conversation that grows more fascinating by the minute.

“Such is the life that we are meant to live. Whether it is fortune filled or tragic, charmed or cursed, it falls to you to shape the road you would seek to travel. As you walk it always know that there is something different just over the horizon.”


This is the logic of a pure Drykas man. He knows his own mortality and knows how fleeting life can be. They both do. And they come to an understanding about danger and what’s precious to them and accept costs in a verbal back and forth that speaks on multiple levels.

One can read so much into what they are saying and even more into what they are not saying in this thread. These two pc’s are men among men and the type of characters I think of because they are humbling reads. Their back and forth makes me realize that my own work is a pale reflection of what these two gifted writers are capable of when they start feeding off each other and talk about something as intense as magic.

Which brings me to Shane’s wielding of hypnotism. So often I want to pull hairs out because I see people trying to use hypnotism in a way that is so blatantly NOT its intention… ie… trying to force someone to do something outside of their character or nature. Shane is a master at using it as it was intended. Take this passage for example.

“You've seen something too, haven't you? Destruction at it's high. Do you remember? Do you still feel fear? Fear is not the pillar of magic. Magic exists in every state to help us. To bring a fraction of the Gods divine power down to spread goodness just like when you gave up a piece of yourself simply to help a dying flower. Magic isn't dangerous, Aoren. Have no fear. It is just people that are dangerous and this is something we cannot change.” Shane felt he was perhaps overselling it but he hoped this made Aoren just believe that he was passionate.


See how he took it to the next level? If you missed how beautifully written this was and are scratching your head not understanding, then you need to steer completely away from a magic user PC. This… this is what it is all about.

And now lets look at Aoren.

As Shane’s hand slid into Aoren’s, he gave a final nod before opening himself up to the world beyond the here and now. Aoren focused his eyes on Shane’s. He stared into them with a steady intensity until with a blink of his eyes the veil of the mortal world fell away. The world slowed. The sunlight that bathed the gardens dimmed. The winds came to a stop until finally Aoren was no longer sitting in his own body but standing beside it. All around him the world had taken on an otherworldly appearance where every motion was like passing through the depths of water. The lines of reality were blurred and all was highlighted in an ethereal hue.
------------------------------------


In this world where time meant nothing and all things were possessed of an inescapable beauty, Aoren felt overwhelmingly peaceful. For several moments he simply stood there basking in the glory of what he saw. When he turned his attention to the bodies of both himself and Shane what he saw fascinated him. Seeing himself from another perspective was always slightly surreal. He took in his own form, his expression was peaceful, his eyes were closed and his breathing steady. Shane seemed a little nervous but otherwise curious. Bodies reflected in the divine realms were not what Aoren had come to study however. Stretching froth from each of their forms was a spiraling cord of light that lingered around them.

The Chavi.


My inner Dreamwalker just died a little of joy. To have something described that well I developed is really a great payback. When I initially wrote out the concepts of the Chavi and Chavena I truthfully struggled with trying to convey to others what I meant by an inner world full of light filled strands of history. It’s how I’ve always seen the Akasha Records that mystics around the world have talked about for thousands of years. Aoren makes it seem as simple to describe as it is for a child to press a lego two legos together and have them lock.

And while I could say more about this thread… it’s something like seven pages long… you folks really need to read it for yourselves.




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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Scarlet Rose on August 1st, 2014, 6:00 pm

:O Congrats! I am going to go rightfully stalk this thread now! Well deserved!
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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Aoren on August 2nd, 2014, 2:57 pm

Oh wow! Thank you! I'm floored. This is greatly appreciated.
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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby S'Essy on August 2nd, 2014, 3:06 pm

Congratulation you two! :D
Unless I promised one, I can not accept any more threads at the moment! I'm sorry.
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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Kelski on August 2nd, 2014, 6:18 pm

A very nice read. Thanks for showing so many how to's in there as well.
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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Shane Wallsly on August 6th, 2014, 1:22 pm

I've typed this 'thank you' post out several times over the past couple of days. I've not really got much to say. I had a lot of fun writing this and for a better writing partner I could not wish. This was the thread where I really cut Shane open and took a look on the inside. I did a lot of deep thinking about where Shane was and where I wanted him to go but mostly I was along for the ride. It doesn't seem fair that I should get a medal for this. I had all the fun :D

So thank you, Aoren. You were a perfect partner. You never bothered me for posts and you supplied your own in near lightspeed fashion. I apologize for taking so long a lot of the time. And thank you Kavala and Caelum for the recommendation.

This is about as good as this post is gonna get so I'm just going to close my eyes, hope I didn't come across self-centered or pompous and hit Submit.
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A Trade Of Heart & Soul Is August's Featured Thread!

Postby Adelaide Sitai on August 6th, 2014, 8:10 pm

I have just finished reading it - excellent thread. Two thumbs up and congratulations on being featured. :)
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