Closed Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

In service to Akajia, each Nightstalker undergoes different trials. On rare occasion, they experience the same trails.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kynier on October 26th, 2018, 1:30 am

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Kelski’s sugary words gave him pause. It was high praise though Kynier found it rather questionable. If that was how she thought of him, as well as loved him, why was she being so distant? So tense? For a moment he thought about it. Those thoughts and emotions may well still exist, but that did not mean that they were the only thoughts and emotions she had towards him. Because there was no denying that things were different now. And not for the better. “Then perhaps, it’s just that there is no longer any ‘wonder’.”

There were several gods that Kynier was aware of. Akajia had the strongest pull on his being and none of the others that he knew evoked any sort of following from him. That could be why he struggled so much. Because the gods would never acknowledge someone that doesn’t pray to them, would they? Kelski was right though. He should pray to their goddess more. If not for his sake then for at least being able to give something to the shadow goddess. Kynier listened to how Kelski was actively learning and desiring to learn about more of the gods. “There is one, though I don’t remember their name. While every day is filled with conflict, I’ve never felt that it is actual War. But you’re right about there being power in knowing.”

Kynier stopped and gazed up at nothing as he reached back for a memory. “Back in Syliras, I remember meeting a man, whose name I forget, but he was marked by four different gods.” He lowered his gaze again and continued his task. “I always thought that that was strange. That someone could be marked by more than one deity. For some reason I imagined the divine being more… possessive… about their followers.”

When she clung to his hand and came into his shoulder, his heart froze. And for an instant, all thoughts and doubts were wiped from his mind. At her touch and even with her preening him, everything felt out of reach in a good way. But when she pulled away, all of it crashed back in on him. Why was he never able to keep her close? It was because she couldn’t see it in him. With a focused look of Auristics she would see and sense it. The missing part of his being. An ache that magic partially filled. But magic could not reciprocate love, desire, and affection. Magic was as dangerous as it was beautiful. And as slow as the process was… Kynier was trying to replace magic with her. But she was pulling herself away.

Kelski was moving, constantaly, not allowing herself to be still for a moment. Kynier felt the tension returning and did not understand why. When she spoke, there was anger that she attempted to disguise. But the words themselves had a bite to them. His fault and his obsession. Words that could never be said gently. Then she took the hand axe to the wood. Kynier remained silent as she cut them down, afraid he would only agitate her further. Then she expressed what it was that he did that frustrated her so.

Her hair came undone from the intensity of her actions. And when she looked up at him it was all plainly written on her face. There is was too. The lack of wonder. Communication was still their problem. After so many years of being exposed to it, Kynier never really noticed it was how he talked as well. The cryptic talk of a wizard. But it was then, that exact moment, that Kynier also learned that a promise he gave Kelski no longer needed to be upheld. Simply because the situation would never call upon it again. The Sea Eagle was curious enough to want to hear about all of it, but not willing to ask the questions.

She didn’t need him. No wound he ever endured was as painful as that one. Not even his Reimancy Initiation. What she wanted from him where things he was always trying to provide. Kelski gave no elaboration to which ones she felt she was lacking. Trust, that was known. The rest though… did she feel a lack of any of those other wants? Kelski stood and began sweeping in the following silence. It felt as though his heart had been exposed and flayed. Always, he tried to encourage her to ask her questions. Yet she never did. Was this a strain all Nightstalkers had with each other, or was it just them?

After a chime, Kynier moved from his position. Kelski’s back was to him now and he gently set a hand on her shoulder. Fingers squeezed softly as he came in close behind her. Kynier whispered to hide the full extent of the sadness he felt. “I never told you what I needed, because you were already providing all my needs.” Kynier took another step so that parchment would have difficulty fitting between the two of them. “Being someone, I never have to lie to. Someone who’s always been honest with me. Someone that challenges me to think on things from a different perspective. An intelligent woman, who gives me stability and something to live for.”

Kynier pulled his hand from her shoulder as he turned to stand in front of the hearth. It would be a long time before the stew was ready, and he wanted to retreat to somewhere dark and dwell alone. For some reason he just couldn’t convince himself to walk away. Which left him there. A Nightstalker with a Nightstalker. No, he did not want to test her sanity. “Azalivasta Suvakina.” Kynier could feel the shadows shudder as he uttered the words aloud. The feeling of understanding nearly surfaced in his mind but remained just out of reach of recollection. What had he seen or felt? It almost felt as though that would be the greatest secret to discover. So, he said no more because he had no ability to on that.

One thing that confused him was whether she wanted to know about his idea, even though it involved magic. She would not ask but had expressed her frustration at him not explaining it further. So in the silence that followed he stared at the fire as he thought on how to approach it. There was only one sensible method that he could think of.

“My idea of using magic to help Sunberth, is that something you genuinely want to hear?” He asked softly. Giving her the choice, since it seemed his assumption was neither wrong nor right.


Sometimes the only way to win is by relinquishing a superior position.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kelski on October 29th, 2018, 12:49 am

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No longer any wonder? Kelski studied Kynier intently, saying nothing for a moment, because it struck her deeply that he didn’t understand. If he did understand, he’d know that there was wonder daily at having him in her life, at having this amazing diverse family here at The Gem that he was definitely a part of. She wished he was more closely entwined with them all, because sometimes he seemed to be here on the fringe and not really immersed. But that was her gut instinct, not something she’d discussed with him to know exactly how he felt. And she thought too that with the rest of the people around perhaps they didn’t get enough alone time together to have those talks. They had things that most people envied, and yet he was still holding himself aloof and apart.

“I feel wonder every day. I’m glad you are here yet often times don’t know why you are…. why me, why here, why all of us? I wonder that we have each other. And it might not always be perfect, but I still feel a great deal of gratitude. Perhaps I don’t tell you enough, or at all, and for that I am sorry.”

She said softly, perhaps too softly for him to hear, but she said it nonetheless. She nodded at him saying there was a god or goddess of war. And again, another nod in him saying there was power in knowing, that there was conflict but he didn’t feel like it was a war. But when he continued, she remained quiet. He had conflict on his features, but he didn’t express what that conflict was. Kelski always gave him room when such things crossed his features. It was almost as if at times he had an inner dialog with himself or was walking the magic lands in his mind.

They spoke more…. or rather Kynier spoke and Kelski listened to the half things he spoke and her frustration rose. She got rid of the energy the best way she knew how – keeping busy rather than yelling at him – though she did in the end say something. But her words were more tempered than they usually would be at such frustrations. She didn’t know her words wounded him. She hadn’t been looking at him when she said them. She’d been on her knees at the hearth. Then she was sweeping and brushing the unwanted dirt and the unwelcome negative energy from the space both Nightstalkers occupied.

Had he asked her why she never asked questions, she would have honestly told him it was because she didn’t want him to realize how ignorant and stupid as she could be. Slaves never enjoyed the education the free did. And the free took things for granted, knowledge mostly, though Kelski had come to understand that the way people thought differed vastly from the free to the enslaved as well. Then there was the Kelvic factor. She had so many less years in the world than he did. Each year he had existed, had granted him knowledge. She was only six. Her experiences were less, her time in the world considerably shorter… both things lent themselves to ignorance.

When he touched her, she stilled her sweeping to give him her full attention. She took in his words but almost flinched at the statement ‘always honest’ because she wasn’t. She lied to him these days, in words and actions to cover her own doings and to calm the home front and remove the distractions of him worrying so much about things she didn’t think he needed to be worried about… like her practice of magic. Intelligent? If he only knew…. she didn’t feel like she provided stability or something for him to live for. He risked his life nightly. He spied for a living! Each time he left their home was one time he might not come back. She knew it, was acutely aware of it, but still he did what he did and kept at it. She wasn’t sure why? There were other ways to make coin, better more lucrative ways…

He spoke gibberish and she didn’t know what to think. She had no context with to put the two words to so she didn’t realize it was what Akajia told him. It was so disjointed from what he just got done saying that she didn’t link the two and was left just staring at him until he asked another question, distracted, from her.

“I genuinely want to hear about anything that involves you. I wouldn’t ask otherwise. And it is very very rare you volunteer anything, but each tidbit is like a piece of candy to a child in tent city. Delicious and almost unheard of.” She said firmly, wanting him to understand she wanted to be part of his life. “You hold your life so secret. I understand you do not talk about your work and the things you do for your boss and the other woman Ashara.” Kelski replied. She didn’t say anything else, not for a moment, until she added. “I don’t usually ask you about your job, or say more than ‘I hope your day went well…’ because I respect your privacy and the nature of the work you do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want too or that I don’t want to ask you questions. I want to. I would want to know anything more.” Kelski said quietly.

“Things used to be simple between us. They used to be easy. Why are they so difficult now?” She asked suddenly, wonderingly. “I used to ask you all sorts of things and you’d answer. And you’d ask me all sorts of things… and now we are so guarded with each other. Now there are things we shouldn’t talk about because they upset any balance we manage to achieve. I often feel like I am in competition with you or are being judged. There are even times I feel like you… resent me for Akajia having two marks on my body.” She admitted, studying him carefully. “I don’t want things to be like this anymore. How do we change things to make them better?” She asked, knowing maybe it was a human thing, one she didn’t quite understand. It needed more thought, but in order to think on it further, she needed more answers.

Kynier seemed to be willing to give one now. “I’d like very much to hear what you want to do to help the city with magic.” Kelski said again, answering his question yet a second time.
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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kynier on October 31st, 2018, 3:23 am

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Once, Kynier had remarked that his attention to detail was something that he considered to be a strength. Listening for soft sounds was something that he had developed a knack for. It could have been a product of his paranoia in Sunberth and relying on the ability to hear things that he couldn’t see. Or maybe, he had spent enough time, had enough talks, with Kelski to know that there were times that she spoke so softly it was questionable if she could even hear her own words. And though Kelski spoke very softly, Kynier was able to hear what she said.

Was it not clear why he was here? If Kelski were to ask about that gut sensation she had, Kynier would not deny it. There were interactions with the others, conversations, but… he was not here for them. Each of them were likeable and he would act without hesitation to maintain their safety. Another moment of silence would pass between them after she finished her words. Kynier watched her hands work the bread out of the corner of his eye as he carved out the bones of the sturgeon. When he spoke, it was softly but loud enough to be clearly heard. “There have been only three instances where I followed the emotions of my heart instead of my intellectual reasoning. The first time was when I decided to come to Sunberth to try and do something about the slave trade. There were too many reasons to justify why I shouldn’t have come here, but I felt it in my heart that here was where I needed to be. Perhaps it was Akajia’s influence on an unsuspecting worshiper.”

“The second time was that night by the river, in the park, during spring. We agreed to not see each other for a time, and I was half convinced that I would never see you again. That something might happen and you’d… you’d be dead.” Kynier sniffed and cleared his throat. “Your body was so gaunt and you had just told me about the deal you made to learn how to use a dagger. I took my heart’s advice, and I kissed you that night for the first time. Because it seemed that it could’ve been the last possible time to do so. And I wanted to be able to say that I at least knew what it was like to kiss you.”

“The third and last time, was when I chose to live, rather than exist. When I chose to come here.” Kynier stopped and looked over at Kelski. “My heart has never led me astray. I’m here because I want to be here. Because you’re here.” Kynier turned back to the cutting the sturgeon. “To answer ‘why you’, The answer is a feeling too complex to be put into words. Because, I’m drawn to you. As though you’re the missing piece that would make me whole.”

And it was aggravating because they both knew that they had been led to each other. Yet they had not made that final connection, that bond. As more time passed, he became more discouraged that it simply may not happen. The best they could do was cling to that piece of themselves that belonged to the other. The final piece of themselves that refused to click in place.

As Kynier watched the fire Kelski expressed the struggle of trying to know him more, without encroaching upon his privacy. He looked at his feet thoughtfully at that. How they both desired to know more but wished for it to be given voluntarily. That somehow asking for it would make the knowledge less intimate. Before he was not sure if Kelski had the interest to know and thought she didn’t from how she never asked. What she just said made it all clear. And as Kynier opened his mouth to begin to respond to that, Kelski continued by addressing how things were now.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Kynier listened and watched her as she spoke. Wistfully speaking of when things were grand between them and how it felt now. Kynier’s eyes lowered to stare at her waistline rather than see the pain and sadness in her eyes. “Things were so easy before,” he admitted in agreement. “I don’t know where it went wrong. What the first thing was that led us here. I made mistakes… and have been trying to understand how to… reconcile. That balance we find feels so fragile now, and each time I think I know what we should not talk about that balance feels even more threatened.”

Kynier met her gaze and shook his head gently. “I don’t resent you for being Favored. Jealous and envious at times, but never resentful. “I…” he squared his body to face her, arms still crossed over his chest. “I’m sorry that you feel that I’m competing with you as a Nightstalker, but I know why it is that you feel that way. The…” Kynier shifted his feet nervously and sighed heavily. “The truth is Kelski that… I want to help you, as a Nightstalker, to complete what Akajia has requested of you. But… I don’t like that that is first task I was given by our goddess to prove my worth to Her. It doesn’t… it doesn’t feel like I’m able to develop my own relationship with Her by doing that. That it puts me in your shadow and I won’t get more than an acknowledgement.”

Kynier rolled his eyes and turned back to the fire with a loud sigh, “Gods, it sounds so petty saying it out loud.” He was silent for a moment. “Many times, it feels that She only marked me because of you. Because of how you felt or the things you’ve said about me. That… if I had not been in the Temple that day, I would not be marked at all while you still would’ve received your second mark.” Kynier took his gaze away from the fire to see for the first time that the shadows had gathered around them in thick masses.

“Akajia,” he whispered softly to himself in Makath as he gazed about at the shadows, “help me find the strength I need, to rid myself of my own doubts.”

Again, he sighed aloud. “It all,” he said in the common tongue, “relates to what you said earlier. About reshaping myself into something I approve of. It’s hard though. Because I’ve always tried to satisfy the views of a select few, and never seem to succeed. My parents. Bourin. Akajia.” Kynier turned his head partially towards Kelski. “And now it feels the same with you. I too want to have things return to how they were. But I don’t think we can go back to the old balance we once had. That we can only move forward to find a new one.”

To him, it seemed the best way forward was with open, voluntary, communication. To try and answer questions before they needed to be asked. That was not going to be easy, though Kynier at least knew where to start. Kelski stated that she would like to hear his idea. Uncrossing his arms, he went to the counter and picked up the plate with all the sturgeon bones piled on top of it. Holding it with both hands he crossed the distance between him and the other Nightstalker. When Kynier stopped it was at arm’s length from Kelski. His head was bowed, and his eyes were half closed as he reached to the depths of his soulcore for Djed.

“This is my idea to help the city,” he said as he brought the magic to a hand. The hand floated in the space between the two of them as his mind manipulated magic to form a single point of pure emptiness. Over a half chime passed when a gateway to the void formed under Kynier’s hand. It was oval in shape and barely larger than the size of his palm. He moved the one hand away as the other tilted the plate to drop the fish bones through the portal. “This discipline is known as Voiding. Wizards from ancient times discovered that there were other words besides Mizahar. Some also discovered places that exist in between those worlds, called dimensions. Voiding opens a gateway to a dimension that is cold and inhospitable to almost every form of life. Some refer to it as The Other Side. Others just call it The Void.”

“For centuries, wizards and mages have used Voiding to dispense with waste, or as a place to banish troublesome creatures. In either regard, it’s been used as a place to send things you don’t want.” Kynier allowed the portal to exist throughout his explanation. At the end he cut off his flow of Djed so that the opening to the Void would close on its own. “Sunberth is always littered with garbage and trash. In time, when I’ve learned how to make larger gateways to the Void, it might be possible to start providing a service. Sending all the waste and trash to the Void so that at the very least, Sunberth would be cleaner.”

After a chime the portal collapsed on itself and it appeared as though it had never existed. “I’m still not sure how one could accomplish such a thing while keeping the use of magic secret,” he said as he returned to the kitchen counter. Kynier picked up the rag to begin cleaning the plate. As he scrubbed the plate clean he looked to her over his shoulder. “So, what do you think about that? Am I just having an absurd thought, or do you think it has some merit?”


Sometimes the only way to win is by relinquishing a superior position.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kelski on November 5th, 2018, 12:09 am

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“You came here to do something about the slave trade? What happened to that goal?” Kelski said abruptly, tilting her head to study Kynier. She’d heard it before from him, but never in a way that he’d outright admitted it being one of his driving forces for coming to Sunberth. She was surprised that his need to do something about the slave trade had been one of the three instances he’d followed his heart. His memory of their first kiss made her smile. It was a soft loving smile of nostalgia, filled with warmth. That kiss had made her slavery doubly hard. It had her longing for things she didn’t have any right too.

And she wondered too if he knew how much Ashara had made him a slave to the woman’s whims with her blackmail. Kynier had more chains on him now than Kelski ever had when she wore a collar. It wasn’t something that would be proper to bring up because Kynier had made choices that put him in that position rather than standing up to the oppression. But it didn’t make it any less true.

But when he chose to live…. Kelski wasn’t convinced what Kynier was doing was actual living. She wanted to stop him right there and call his bluff. He wanted the right things, but she wasn’t sure what he thought was right was turning out to be the best things.

Kelski leaned a hip up against the counter, done sweeping, done doing anything else to busy herself besides looking at him. There was too much on her mind and the words weighed down her soul too much to continue the restless motions. The Kelvic loved this man she talked with, but he made it so hard to ‘live’ with him sometimes. Even at his sweetest, he was stubbornly blind to some of the things he did.

They both were listening now. Kynier had stopped cutting his fish. He’d stopped doing other things and was now looking at her intently. And he started talking… about Akajia, her tasks she’d set him, and what was wrong with it in Kynier’s eyes. She watched him, turning what he said over and over in her mind. Kelski could have said a lot to what he was saying, but she really wanted to hear it all… to listen. It was so important that he was opening up.

And he was so wise too, stating he didn’t think they could go back to any old balances but that they could only move forward. Kelski nodded at this, still watching him, still listening intently.

And then he started talking about magic. He didn’t realize she knew what Voiding was. Her talks with Farris had enlightened her on the subject, but she listened nonetheless. It was interesting hearing him speak of something he enjoyed but didn’t get much of an opportunity to discuss. And the magic seemed useful too. Kelski could agree that Sunberth was filled with trash. She could also agree that a way to remove it other than burning it on the slag heap would be a good thing too. The soot from the heap was annoying when the wind blew it one’s direction. Sometimes the cold air was held down close to the ground – times when eagles found it hard to fly due to the inversion – and the smoke choked the city. Not having that situation would be amazing. The air quality would increase tremendously. To Kelski, that seemed like a good idea and she smiled. “It sounds like a good idea. Less trash on the Slag Heap would benefit everyone. Some days it is hard to breathe here. I don’t know how you would do it without revealing yourself a mage though. That will be an interesting question to answer. But I think you are up to the challenge.” Kelski added, offering him a smile.

“Farris and I talked about Voiding quite at length. I asked him questions he couldn’t answer. I asked him if anything lived in the Void and if the things people put into the Void harmed it in any way. He said he had no idea, but that mages have been doing it since time unaccounted. I also asked if anything we understand as living lived in the Void. He did not know.” She wasn’t exactly asking him the questions, for she vowed she’d never ask him about magic again. But she did open the subject for discussion, certainly, if it was something he wanted to talk about further. It was the closest thing to compromise she had to offer.

Kelski rarely broke the promises she made to herself.

Then she quietly swallowed and glanced over at Kynier. “You are blind to yourself.”

It was a quiet declaration, one made without venom nor judgement. She said it so simply and with quiet passion. “Akajia doesn’t mark people because they are at the right place or time. She doesn’t mark people to be accessories to others or even to Herself. Anyone who meets you, Kynier, can tell the depth of the strength of your personality with all its qualities. She marked you because you are worthy of notice and will be going places and doing incredible things. But in order for that to happen, you have to stop spinning your wheels and being so unhappy. You can deny it all you’d like, but you are unhappy. Everyone can sense it. You are reaching forward, grabbing for something you can’t name and that you can’t visualize. You know its there, just beyond your grasp. And you want it. You want it with a passion that scares you. But you can’t see it.” She said thoughtfully.

“You don’t need a Goddess’ acknowledgment to be whole. You don’t need a Kelvic’s bond. You don’t need anything but what you already have inside. I am not a piece of you. We are two separate things. You and I have discussed that we don’t trust each other and that’s why we haven’t bonded. But I also think that if you could bond with me right now… if it was offered and given freely that you wouldn’t make the connection and bond. I don’t think you feel yourself ready to give up that sort of privacy.” She stalked forward and touched him where he stood at the sink cleaning the plate.

“To have me in your mind? Feeling what you feel? Knowing when you were afraid or uncertain or even insecure? You’d know how I truly felt about you despite what I’ve said… you’d know the moment I knew, feeling what I felt as I felt it. I could find you anywhere… there’d be a tug that would tell me ‘Kynier is that direction….’ And you could find me too… anywhere. And you’d never know be truly alone again. My hunger would be your hunger. My pain would be your pain. Your strength would be my strength. You’d know my sadness, or when my body dampens and craves yours, or when I could no longer stand to wear this skin any longer and how it feels to be able to take the to the sky trading bare skin for feathers.” Kelski said softly, her hand reaching out and snaking around his waist. She snuggled up close to his back, speaking into his shoulder, fitting her pelvis up against his, encircling his torso with her other hand as he washed the plate. “Can you honestly say that’s something you want?” She asked abruptly, her mouth tilted up near his ear, and with a toss of her head part of her hair falling across his shoulder and down his torso.

“You’d know if every word I have said is the truth or a lie.” Kelski said softly, her nails lightly raking his chest through the fabric of his shirt. For once he didn’t smell like the city. He smelled pure Kynier and like The Gem. There were no signs of the street on him nor even the slight tang of salt on his skin when he’d been out walking in the street air. Her gesture wasn’t sexual, not really, just pure Kelvic. They needed to touch, needed the physical contact of others. They did similar things to each other, having no true sense of personal space. If she wanted intimacy, her hand would have drifted lower and invited arousal out of him. But instead, she touched lightly, content more being in his energy and space. Lips nibbled at his hairline briefly, kissing the bare skin of his neck next.

“I sometimes think I can’t bond because you aren’t ready… and deep down I know it.” She said softly. This talking… this openness… was the most they’d shown each other for a long long time. “And often I feel like sometimes you need someone different in your life… someone who needs a leader, a mentor, someone softer, needier, whom you can teach as you will or leave in ignorance and they won’t question it.” Kelski whispered into his muscled skin covering his clavicle, her hands hesitating on him. The voice warbled slightly, but not with her usual eagle annoyance. It was more the sound of insecurity. She lifted her hands, ran them down his arms, and caged his wrists experimentally. She gently forced him to put the plate down, her hands guiding his actions. Then she pulled his arms behind him, and pressed him gently into the sink area with her body. “We quarrel. We push each other. We fight for control. Do you see it? Because I do.” She said and nipped him, her voice firming itself up. “I don’t think we can bond because we are such a mess together.” She said before she bit him on the back of the neck, his hands caged in her own at the small of his back. He could tell the eagle was a great deal in control at this point even though the creature still wore human skin. She bumped her nose along his spin, stepping back slightly to give herself room to do so.

“Sometimes, I want to hold you down and make you listen to me. Sometimes I want to not let you talk at all. Sometimes I even want you on your knees begging….” The Kelvic said with a hiss before she released him reluctantly and placed her hands on his shoulders, freeing his hands. She bent her head down, resting her forehead on the small of his back as if she somehow worshiped him. “… and I think you wouldn’t mind. But it goes both ways. And that you will never accept. I’ve tried it and seen how it disturbs you.” Kelski said softly.

“You are so much older… but so roughly formed. I think my kind have to grow fast and strong or we don’t survive.” Kelski said thoughtfully, stepping away from him. She had to get distance because there was something inside of her cutting loose. It was a lot like desire but so much more. It was like tendrils unraveling from where they had wrapped themselves protectively around her soul and they were reaching for Kynier.

Instinctively she backed up. Its was what she always did.

“And there is so much I don’t know about you… but I want to know. I’ve been raised since birth to not question my betters. To not question humans, to not hinder or judge or get in their way in any degree. It’s not so different with you. You are an intellect. A mage. A warrior. You are so much, Kynier. I am proud to call you mate. But this is a hard relationship. I am not saying I don’t like it. I do. I cannot imagine my life without you and I think about you often. But you confuse me too. You infuriate me with your stubbornness and tight-lipness. Which is interesting because you accuse me of the same thing.” Kelski said, laughing slightly.

“And you said you are jealous and envious at times of a jeweler who is in debt up to her beak, who can’t figure out how to be a good mate, and who might be Favored by a Goddess but doesn’t exactly know why or what to do with it?” Kelski shook her head. “I’m not … I’m not that person you think I am.” She said softly.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kynier on November 6th, 2018, 5:21 am

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There was only a tick’s delay before he answered her question. “Nothing has happened to that goal. And that’s its own problem in a way. It’s still what I want to be doing, yet small, unrelated things took my attention for a little time. Then they grew… and grew… until those other things had taken almost all of my attention. Pursuing knowledge on this ‘Night of Masks’ the Daggerhand are talking about is what got me into the situation with Ashara in the first place. Then there’s the slab. Combined with the work I do for Doler… sometimes I think it would be nice if Syna would extend the days just to get everything done.”

“But since then, I’ve been through the Slave Market. I’ve seen the ‘exotic goods’, and I don’t let myself go back there. Because I don’t think I would be able to resist setting it all ablaze. Something like that would have very little effect on the slave trade. The stalls would move, and it would continue like nothing happened.” Kynier’s blood grew hotter just thinking of it. “I haven’t given up on that goal. And I intend to return my attention to it once everything else settles.”

Why was it that they both would only open up when things were critical? Talking like this was honestly not that hard. It was a freedom that Kelski unintentionally offered. To be able to talk about anything. His troubles, fears, hopes, and ideas. All of them she would listen to and would comment on with honest criticism. To him, attempting to use Voiding to reduce the filth of the city was a questionable idea. With her opinion, it seemed like something genuinely worth pursuing. Somehow, Kynier was going to have to allocate time to advancing his abilities with the discipline.

His heart sank a little at the mention of Farris. Kelski had admitted to learning Auristics and Shielding in the man’s presence. But she had not mentioned the other mage talking about the Other Side to her. Kynier did not consider her stupid or ignorant with magic but felt that his explaining the discipline may have just displayed that. Kelski told him once that she did not know a lot about the arcane practices. In truth, she already knew more than several mages that he had encountered. He listened to what she and Farris had talked about. Questions that Farris could not answer. Farris had brief training from his father, but Kynier did not know the extent of the teaching lineage. While he could not truly answer the questions either, he could provide more than a simple “I don’t know.”

“The reason mages don’t know the answers to those questions, is because no one’s ever survived going into the Void and coming back out. I was told stories about advanced wizards being able to survive in the Void for a few ticks. But those that succeeded were only able to with considerable planning and designing protective contraptions. And there were other stories with questionable validity, about mages seeing things… creatures… in the Void through the gateways they make. Other stories about mages overgiving and losing control of their gateways, which allowed monstrosities to escape the Void.” Kynier glanced over his shoulder at Kelski, “Kelvics are not the only mage crafted race, just the most successful one. Mages from ages ago created abominations that they were forced to banish to the Void. Sightings of monsters are usually believed to be one of those ancient abominations that even the Void could not kill.”

Then a silence passed between them as Kynier scrubbed the last plate clean. At Kelski’s soft declaration drew his attention completely. Whenever she spoke of Akajia he listened intently. All the things he knew about religion were scraps that he had to dig for during his time with Bourin. Kynier knew of several gods and their importance, but otherwise, he was ignorant with religion. Without menace, Kelski also described what seemed to be one of the roots of his dilemmas. Around Kelski there was happiness, but that was an unfair thing to do, he understood that. How she described it could not have been articulated any better. There was something unknown to him that he felt he needed. Whether it was a person’s influence, a diety’s, an item, or some tidbit of knowledge… Kynier felt there was a drive for something just out of his reach.

Then she spoke about how it wasn’t a goddess’ approval, or Kelski’s bond that he needed. While she felt like the piece of himself that had always been missing, she was right. They were two separate entities. Kynier had been thinking about it for days. How it was that he trusted her with his life, but somehow still didn’t trust her. She’d proven capable without anyone’s assistance. Survived traumas that would shatter others. Built something wonderous from nothing but her own determination. But still… if it wasn’t trust it was something else as equally important that he wasn’t giving her.

When she expressed her doubts about whether he’d complete the bond at that very moment, Kynier turned his gaze back to the sink and mindlessly cleaned the dish. He did not understand how the bond would strip the privacy. Not until she pressed herself against him from behind and describing the bond in a way she had never mentioned before. Something inside him lightened as her hands wrapped around him. At times it was maddening that she nestled into his back like this. Where he could not see and hold her. Whether it was in the bed or the rare moments outside of it.

And everything she said… sounded very familiar to him. A presence in his mind was something he had always known. At times he wondered if he had overgiven too much once and had a permanent case of the Sweet Whispers, but then he banished the thought because he knew… that HE had been there since before he ever learned about magic. All of it… would not be a new experience for him. Was that something that he wanted? That was not the first question his mind sought to answer.

If Kelski bonded with me, would she be able to hear you too?

There was no response from the recesses of his mind. But was that it? That one piece of himself that he never shared. There were times when he nearly told her. It rested on the tip of his tongue, but the words failed to come. Why? The question was lost when her hair flipped over his shoulder. Kynier leaned his head over and breathed in her scent. Her nails clung to his chest possessively. The proximity was intoxicating, but Kynier had learned the not-so-subtleties of his lover’s physical affections. Had it been sexual, clothes would have already been dropped to the floor. A quality of Kelski’s that he admired. When she wanted something, she usually took the most immediate, direct route to get it.

But when her lips played at the back of his neck Kynier was forced to suppress a shiver. He wanted to turn and embrace her. To have his hands on her in turn and taste the side of her neck just under the jawline. But the pleasures were muted when she accused him of not being ready for the bond. Kynier did not understand why she would think that until she spoke further. He could hear the doubt in her warble. It was not directed at him it seemed, but towards herself. That he wanted complete dominance over the one best suited for him in life. Was that what she saw in him? Her hands ran down his arms and her touch grew in firmness. The plate must have been clean for a long time, and yet, he had still been scrubbing it. Hands did not need much convincing to put it down, though he did not anticipate the next motion.

As his body was pressed against the counter, she nibbled less with her lips and more with her teeth at the skin of his neck. Her tone grew firm with a sense of primal force. The Sea Eagle talked of the unspoken struggle of their dynamic. A battle for control. Yes. He could see it. And he knew that neither of them would yield fully, but the conflict was taking its toll. She expressed something. Kynier did not know if they were needs or desires. He would accept submitting to her or taking silence. But on his knees and begging? Begging for what? Kynier could not imagine what Kelski wanted him on his knees and begging for. But that was not something he could see himself doing.

When she released him and set her brow against his back, Kynier reached across his chest to set a hand on one of hers that she set on his shoulder. When she stepped away, his fingers took hold of hers and he twisted around to face her. It was a gentle grip but strong enough to show that he did not intend on letting go. He was tired of it. Of letting these distances form between them. And something felt different then. As he gripped her hand to prevent her retreat, Kynier felt a change in her, open and inviting despite how she was trying to make distance. He stepped forward, never taking his eyes away from those mesmerizing silvers.

The presence grew stronger as it surrounded him. His heart was beating loudly in his chest and his breathing was nearly frozen. An unseen force brushed against his body, yet he did not flinch, nor even blink. Kynier’s other hand came up and ran along the length of Kelski’s neck until if rested at her nape. Wide hazel eyes stared at her as he let out the breath he did not realize he held. “I may not be ready… but that does not make me want it any less.” He let the walls around his heart fall and opened himself to the comfort of her presence, seeking to bask in it.

“From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were stronger than most. It was the gaze in your eyes. I could see the strength of your will. Years of slavery tends to break a common person, yet you spoke and moved like it were only an inconvenience.” Kynier felt as though a weight had been taken from him as his heart and soul continued to open further. “I cannot imagine my life without you either. It saddens me that we struggle so much. But I believe there is so much common ground that there is a compromise, a balance, that we both can find comfort in again.”

Another step was taken. One that brought his chest against hers as he kept hold of her hand and neck with his. Despite their troubles, he felt at ease. At peace in this moment. In ways he never felt before, Kynier’s heart, mind, and soul reached out to her to encompass her with his presence as well. “The more I learn about you, the more I know, that I’m not your superior. I’ve never seen myself as a leader, nor have I ever desired a meek woman who would be entirely submissive. I’ve only ever wanted a partner, and an equal. And while you may not be that woman that I think you are, you’re probably greater than that,” he whispered.

Kynier opened himself entirely and reached for her presence. Willing and accepting. Then he closed the last of the distance between them as he set his lips against hers. It was a tender kiss, one to appreciate the softness of her dark lips as well as their taste. As time with Kelski had shown him, Kynier’s love had an avarice quality. From a taste he wanted more and pulled slightly on the nape of her neck as the passion of the kiss blossomed. His other hand finally released hers and wrapped around her back to pull her body in as well.

A tick, ten ticks, a full chime, the remaining bells of the day… it was impossible to say how long that kiss lasted for him. When at last he broke his lips away from hers, his brow rested against Kelski’s. Kynier took a single deep breath to recover the breath she had stolen from him. “I want to tell you more. And to hear all the questions you ever have. As strange as it sounds, I enjoy answering them. And it feels that if we don’t try to ask our questions, that we don’t truly talk to each other. As though we both share the same flaw and are too proud to change. But I will sacrifice that pride if it let’s us talk like this more.”


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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kelski on November 7th, 2018, 12:29 am

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Kelski blinked at the strength of his conviction to ending slavery in Sunberth. If more people had the sort of conviction Kynier showed, slavery would end in Sunberth. Kelski didn’t believe one person could do something that monumental all on their own. But what Kynier could do was start a movement, begin a change in attitude, gather people together of a like mind and slowly change things for the better… for the future. She hoped he would. Kelski would help him if he asked her too. It was something she had experienced firsthand. And it was definitely something someone could stumble into at any point in their life, freeborn or not. The Kelvic almost flinched at the way Kynier said ‘exotic goods’. She’d once been considered something very much like that. And while she didn’t know precisely when he’d been at the slave market, nor did she ask, she wondered if it was when she’d been ‘missing’.

The problem was, nothing was ever ‘settled’ in Sunberth. Not unless one found themselves dead. Kelski took a deep breath and nodded. At least he hadn’t forgotten …

Kelski liked listening to Kynier. She just wasn’t in the habit of sharing her troubles with him. He had enough of his own. And showing fear, hope, even sharing ideas were things that had been either incredibly discouraged or beaten out of her from early on. Not by Kynier, of course, but in all that had come before him. Only Master Li had given her free rein to ask questions and that was for a very good reason – learning her trade. When Kynier talked to her about magic, he tended to simplify things to the point he made her feel like a small human, the ones that hadn’t been in the world long, making his explanations match that sort of mentality. It was uncomfortable when he did such things, as if he anticipated she couldn’t understand more complex ideas. And maybe she couldn’t until she had the years he had on his soul. But she wanted to try…

In Kelski’s mind, she was ignorant about magic in most ways. And she didn’t talk about it at all because first and foremost she didn’t want to look like a fool in front of a true mage, like Kynier. Secondly, if one never talked about magic, one never got accused of being a mage in Sunberth. To her, it was the truest course, one that made the most sense. So she didn’t. But Kynier didn’t seem to mind speaking of magic, and though she hadn’t asked him the questions truly, he did elaborate more on what Farris didn’t know or didn’t tell her.

“If things live there… truly live there and can escape… then its best we not fill such a place with our trash.” Kelski said abruptly, shaking her head. “Flying, you can always tell when you get close to a place of humans. In the sea, things discarded by them float unattended and often dangerous. Netting from fisherman float and kill arbitrarily. I’ve seen wire big wads of line from fishing poles wrapped around baby birds. It becomes awful. Over the land, trees are cut down, paths are muddy, and there is more discarded. And sure sometimes other things use these discards, but sometimes I think there will be a time when there will be too much. And when people have too much, they are wasteful. Because when you have a lot of something, it starts to mean less and less to you until often it means nothing, even if it is trash. Fire in the woods can mean life and death, but here in Sunberth people have the slag heap so they don’t understand how serious it can be without fire.” The Kelvic observed quietly, shaking her head thoughtfully.

Kelski shook her head, correcting something Kynier said. “Kelvics are not mage crafted. We were born from science and careful breeding and skills that involved the blood and bone and secret things from beyond Mizahar. I know we can be mages, but we aren’t inherently magical. We are something else.” Kelski insisted, knowing the truth of her words. “Master Li told me that so much was lost during the Valterrian. That science is something a lot like magic, but with different rules than magic has. He said it was why many people considered Kelvics magical, but we are not magical beings.” She insisted, knowing they could have magic, but they weren’t of magic. It was a huge difference, an important one to her.

They talked further. Kynier cleaned, and Kelski acted out. She always acted out when he grew silent and pensive and she wasn’t ready for the conversation to be over. The Kelvic was trying to get a reaction from him, more of his honest words, but instead he remained stoically calm like he could be sometimes. And so she gave up and snuggled into his back with more hard words. She had only soft words. She liked curling into his back. She felt safe there, protected, unexposed… and she felt it was a place she could take these things from him without demanding a reaction from him. It was also a place she could love him – giving back - that was safe from his piercing warm gaze that saw too much, his guarded features, and even his knowing hands. It was often easier for her to say things to his back – where he could still hear her – than say things out right to his face.

His back was his warmth, his scent, and his physical strength without his judgement. Or at least that’s how Kelski saw it. She loved nibbling his neck, using her teeth like a beak to pass on her affection, preening invisible feathers and moving his energy around until it transformed into different things. Tension into relaxation. Anger into calm. Exhaustion into sexual interest. Kynier might not like her at his back, but she loved being there. And sure he often turned or rolled over to tuck her into him, wrapping around her… and that was fine too. But it wasn’t as good as his back when she wanted to talk.

She liked pressing him into the sink, holding his arms behind him, making him hear her without having to read those eyes. Those eyes… Kelski half smiled. Kynier could do a lot to her with just his gaze. She hated seeing judgement in them, feared anger, and hated the sadness she often saw.

Yes begging. Not as a starving man begged for food or his life or for a different course in life. But in the way a man with hard cold eyes had them suddenly softened and then set on fire because if he couldn’t touch the one thing he wanted to he would die. She just wanted to see Kynier need her as she needed him. She’d drop to her knees a million times to beg him to need her, to want her, to be happy in a life that made him so incredibly unsatisfied. Especially to be happy. When she was of a mood, she’d give anything to touch him. Just him. He’d ruined her for anyone else.

They were things she couldn’t convey to him properly though, not even to his back. And so she just leaned into him, enjoyed his warmth, his scent, and his security for the tick or two he allowed before she was stepping backwards and giving him space. The need to bond was back, light in its touch, as if a first blade of new bright green grass pressing up through the snow in the earliest part of spring. And she backed away only to find herself captured lightly by his grip. She tugged at it, but even though he caged her arm gently, it was a firm iron grasp. He came forward, closing the distance again, and she froze in her typical predatory fashion. Was there danger here? Was there something she hadn’t foreseen? Had she missed something he said in the haze of the moment of just being with him?

Her cool silver gaze met his warm hazel eyes, widening abruptly. He could tell she wanted to fly, more afraid than he would have ever guessed. She would have been clear across the room in a heartbeat had he allowed it. She would have taken to her wings to put the sky between her and his earth-bound form. But he held her. When his other hand touched her neck, it was as if he were completing a circuit and making a conscious choice. His warm words washed over the coldness in her and she tried unsuccessfully to hold back what rushed forward.

It wasn’t just her. It was him as well, enabled by her presence. Tendrils of light and power burst from both of them, unseen but clearly felt as they wrapped around each other and the two souls linked up. Kelski had dreamed of the moment all her life, not knowing what to expect, terrified of being found wanting. As her life force wove tightly with his, her awareness expanded taking on a more human flavor that filled her mind with the man’s emotions that stood before her. They washed through her in a powerful tsunami of all at once reckoning that the sudden and powerful bond created. Kelski cried out with it even as Kynier’s lips captured her own. He’d suddenly got closer to her, pressing her body into his, even as he felt the decision bring him peace and the link bring him her.

And she was the cool wind of the sea, laced with salt and brine and the pine of the high mountains. In that moment he felt Kelski as he never could have unbonded to her. She was so different than the form she presented the world – the calm curious intelligent woman that held secrets. There was a feral fierceness to her that washed through him along with the sense of her. She was virtually fearless and bold beyond measure, with no concept of ‘impossible’. Rebellion ran deep in her, a startling depth that one never would suspect staring into her soft silver eyes. She had a burning almost obsessive need to be successful. And though she had emotions like a human, her mind was absolutely alien, though he could feel every corner of it with her this close. He couldn’t read her thoughts, but her emotions were as clear as thoughts as they washed over and threw him to the point he could not tell which were hers and which were his.

In that moment, she was full of incredible wonder and depthless love, yet she was terrified of disappointing him, and eager to explore the link and its bounds. Her curiosity was a smoldering flame within her, calling her a liar to every single time she’d feigned indifference or had not asked further on something she’d been wanting to know. She felt like power, like true raw magic, and because the bond was so new and so much like a deep sudden wound before it began to hurt. Kynier could also feel, through Kelski, the living building all around them and its awareness and deliberate focused attention on the two newly bonded locked in a kiss. It was strange, so very strange, having an encompassing awareness – something like that of an inhuman child – studying the pair with careful bright attention.

But there was more. His body was on fire for him… no that was Kelski and her body on fire… aroused. The kiss had tipped the scale from her simply needing his attention to her needing him. He could tell how much his scent beckoned her… but he could feel her banking it to listen to him, to hear his words… she paid close attention to what he said and he realized that what Kelski felt for him was always there, always ready to come forth, yet she kept a careful control on it and really worked hard to pretend to be human. His mate had amazing self-control and self-awareness.

The self control allowed her to drag in a single breath, pulling her own awareness out of his mind to hear him, locking her curiosity within her iron will. Outwardly, she looked calm and unphased. But he could feel every emotion rolling through her, woven into the wonder and incredible love she felt for him. Nothing outwardly showed except the slight tremble of her wrist. And he only felt it because he still had hers caged in his own.

And standing there, looking at her, while the bond finished forming, solidifying around them, gave him the in most acute insight of something he already knew. Kelski absolutely wasn’t human. She didn’t react to things like humans did. And while it was easy to forget she what she was standing outside her, while he was crawling around inside her mind within the confines of the bond, he could feel her otherness acutely. Her emotions weren’t at all the same as his. And he saw her flaws… her deep dark horrible flaws.

There were a lot of things floating around in her head that he could pick up on, but the flaws surrounding Kynier were the ones that stood out to him the most. She was deceptive around him, hiding her insatiable curiosity for magic. He could tell by the way she banished emotions immediately when they arose regarding magic. She didn’t seem to crave power like other mages did. But she had a wonder for possibilities and was eager borderline obsessed to know more. Her thinking wasn’t linear and random, like a human, but her emotions manifested as almost three-dimensional shapes which would indicate that her thoughts did too.

She thought in vivid images, patterns, and diagrams… not in a running dialog in her mind like other people did. It made her a great jeweler, but a terrible partner to a mage when she was trying to feign indifference to his arts. He was also acutely aware how much she was self-conscious about her looks being not human. It was something he already had picked up, but the depth she felt insecure about her dark tissues and ombre hair was far deeper than he might have realized. And she was hyper aware of her surroundings. He could sense a part of her that was always scanning the immediate area, listening, watching for danger. It was a predatory unconscious act that she did over and over again. Even her focus at her jewelers’ bench must be a lie because he could sense the awareness, the scanning, the searching for danger at the back of her mind as long as he was looking for it.

There were other things he could learn if he just focused. And by her stillness and avid attention, even as she stole a taste of him off her lips with the tip of her tongue, he knew she was gathering just as much information about him. And in experimenting, he could dampen the bond down or open it wide up. And by the widening in her silver gaze and the astonishment he felt through the bond, he could tell she was learning a lot about him as well.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kynier on November 7th, 2018, 4:59 am

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There was no evidence of life in the Void similar to that of Mizahar. Again, it was a viewpoint he would never consider but what she said made perfect sense. The corruption of humans was not limited to their treatment of others, but to their own environment. Something Kynier did not expect he could determine without extensive consideration. He lived in it. He was a human. Each time she spoke of flying he felt envious. Though what she described now were vile acts of human ignorance. It was so difficult to see that from the ground, when they had no means of escaping like Kelski did.

And when she corrected him about the creation of Kelvics he really listened. Many sciences had been lost during the cataclysm and the remnants from before were mostly in ruin. There were many things he felt he knew though they were based off assumptions. Kelski was the first Kelvic he knew he met. Everything he understood about her race that had not come from her directly were just stories he had heard. And stories could lose the truth that they were originally formed from. So now, he listened to the truth that she gave him and trusted their source more than where he heard the rest of the stories come from.

Kelski nuzzled into his back and tried to step away. When Kynier took hold of her hand and drew closer, he could sense the fight or flight instinct welling up inside of her. Kelski pulled to try and free herself from his grasp, but he wouldn’t allow it. If they both continued to act as they had, Kelski running for distance and he allow her, then things would not improve with their relationship. Though he refrained from displaying physical affection outside of their private moments, he truthfully never wanted to stop feeling the touch of her skin. Changes, no matter how small, were needed and not letting her go again was the first one he enacted.

Something was different, and he could feel it, but the wide-eyed fear she displayed confused him. Kynier was not acting aggressively. He meant her no harm. Why was she looking at him that way? Why did she appear as though she wanted to be anywhere but there, with him? She was the one he cherished above all, even himself. It pained him to see her look at him so fearfully. And when he opened himself to her, took her lips against his, and pulled her body close to his own he felt the sudden rush of a power he desired but did not understand.

The cool wind of her soul blew into him and he felt it down to his bones. The chill of her presence crawled throughout his being like the opposite of when his blood ran hot with rage. Having her in his heart was no longer a metaphor as the Bond entwined the two of them into something different. Kynier lost his sense of individuality and felt that he was now one side of a coin. Kelski’s emotions and geometric thought patterns flooded him so abruptly, he too moaned in surprise through their kiss. As the true essence of her being filled his mind he grasped more tightly to her with more than just his hands.

In the depths of her eyes he saw the traces of what was now infused within him. The instincts and drive of the apex predator. Though he was wingless he felt unbounded and that nothing was beyond reach. A sensation that he never felt before and was surprised to feel now. That nothing was able to stop him and anything his… her… their way would rue the day it chose to interfere. Her inhuman nature was absolutely intriguing. Kynier did not mentally shy away but drew closer instead. And as he went further into her mind, he felt the other presence. The strange young consciousness of the Midnight Gem. Kynier felt Gem encompassing them and observing with emotions of its own.

It was painful, feeling so much love. It was more than one body could handle. Kelski’s depthless love rivaled his own as did her fear to disappoint. Their combined emotion was so vast Kynier felt he was drowning in them and unable to find the separation between her feeling and his own. Rather than pull away, he delved further, wanting to know more. To understand without the filtering of words by experiencing the source. As he went further, he took a ragged breath. Kynier felt the craving to have her body inside his. To be filled with his body and his scent. The carnal hunger that was never satisfied. The mage shuddered with the need to copulate yet reflected the self-control of his lover. For there was more to feel as he raced through her mind.

Kelski was guarded about something, even now. Kynier felt her thoughts form and were just as quickly banished. It was there that he stopped his reckless exploration of her mind. It was too much and too soon. Kelski would feel his curiosity to what it was she hid from him before he pulled away. Her self-consciousness of her appearance caught his focus. That she was bothered by her inhuman features. Understanding and assurance where what he gave in response. They had spoken of it, and his words were true to his emotions that she now felt. Kynier saw her beauty where she saw flaws.

At the inception of the bond Kynier had dove headlong into Kelski’s mind to feel and sense what words could not fully describe. He too could sense that she also explored him in equal measure. She would notice the abundance of love her held for her in all its flavors. The amusements, the passions, and the needs he felt from his love for the sea eagle. It was so immense that she could take to her feathers and fly through it for what could have been lifetimes. How she anchored all that need to love something and prevented a whirlwind of pain and longing that he had felt through life.

And his depths of his love were rivaled only by his pain. It was organized like books in a library to the many forms he had experienced in his life. Physical pains of hunger, injury, and thirst were the weakest of them. The pain of absolute numbness, that had striped him of sensation to leave terror in its wake was a mental and emotional scar left behind by the mysterious slab. And the one agony greater than that was the suffering of loss. A bleeding wound that would not be staunched. The volume of loss was frightening for him to dwell on and caused him to become over protective.

There was a place in his mind that Kelski has nested in prior to the bond. A place active with thoughts and emotions at all times. It was engulfed with the need to protect. Inside there was a reminder of the potential loss. A crippling sadness that would choke Kelski’s breath to feel and flood the eyes with those tears that she never understood the purpose of. The seed of that loss had formed from the time of her disappearance, when he discovered a dead woman that he had initially mistaken for her. The single instant of feeling that his heart had ruptured from his chest.

In the deeper sections Kelski felt the drive. It was unfocused and pulled in several directions. Powerful needs that were all unsatisfied that demanded pursuit. Strongest among them was a need to control. A need to contend the chaos and establish a sense of control in the hopes to bring order. There was a sibling need to that one for power. True power like her soul. Kelski would feel him cling to the power of her soul. The raw intensity of it that mages coveted. His grasping was not entirely possessive. There was more of the need to protect. The sense of guardianship was truly powerful though very selective.

As a Nightstalker there was an abundance of secrets. As Kynier sensed there was something she was deceptive of, there were also things he was holding from her. The slow-moving project in the basement that was to for them was constantly swept to beyond her reach in his mind. With it was a feeling of excitement and impatience. As well as a trace of love. When it was done, he knew she’d love it, but he wanted to witness that surprise at the unveiling, and to have it as a complete surprise. But there was the presence of other secrets within the mage’s mind as well.

Within the shadows at the back of his mind was a mental barrier. One Kelski could sense long before she approached it. Kynier opened the Bond slightly more to allow a glimpse. While Kelski disliked the coldness and judgment she saw in the hazel eyes, beyond that barrier was a bitterness unlike any other. From the beyond were incredible emotions of a thirst for power and self-satisfaction. Hatreds that felt like hot ash on the skin. And a consciousness. It was alien, with the familiar presence of Kynier without affection and care. Him… but not him.

Something that stared back at her as she felt through his mind. It was not a surrounding foreign presence like the Midnight Gem but held that foreign aspect. Before that presence drew closer to her reach Kynier suppressed the Bond enough to reinforce the barrier. And it was at that time that he was pulling himself away from her mind. Kynier did not close himself off from her. The sensation of her in his mind failed to unsettle him. Always it would be open, except for that darker place in the deepest recesses.

Kynier felt breathless as he stared into those silver eyes. Strange to know that the thoughts behind them would no longer be so difficult to determine. Kynier shifted the weight on his feet as both hands cupped the nape of her neck. “Feather,” he uttered. Half with love and half with the reflection of her hunger. By then, it was both of their needs and he abandoned the self-control. Fueled by both their passions, Kynier kissed her again, but this time he swung her around so that she rested against the counter. His skin burned with how desperate he was to feel her, to fill her with himself.

With the bond, he was able to sense it and understood the subtle hisses she had made during previous moments of intimacy. Wildness. The Sea Eagle craved it from him. Lips mashed against hers as his hands ran over her body. These damn clothes were in the way! His hands unfastened the belt at her waist and undid the bindings of her pants. The need was too strong to consider where they were, and before it would have bothered the mage. Now… it mattered less. Like an intoxication, Kynier only removed his lips long enough to strip the clothing from their bodies.

When their skins were bare, Kynier lifted her enough to set her against the edge of the kitchen counter and to set himself inside her. There was no gradual build to the rhythm. Kynier started fast and hard. The pleasures of them both flowed through his mind during the intercourse. Hands clawed and grasped at his… her body. One slid up her spine to take a handful of her hair and pulled her head slightly to the side. As she had done many times to him, Kynier bit into her shoulder at the base of her neck and suckled upon the taste of her skin. Hungers that were physical and emotional sought sustenance in that moment. The emotional need to satisfy the Sea Eagle’s constant hunger as well as his own reflection of it. Hunger to hear the Sea Eagle’s trills, to feel her skin against his, to feel her body convulse in ecstasy at his touch.

In that moment there was only love and passion. Kynier’s fears and anxieties about everything else were abandoned for Kelski. As well as the curiosities to explore further and understand the Bond. There were only the two of them with what felt like no barriers and total understanding.



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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kelski on November 10th, 2018, 5:06 pm

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Sometimes Kelski wished there were forewarnings to moments that would change lives forever. But in her past, and even in this singular instant, it crept up on her catching her completely unaware and unexpectedly. She thought it was going to be another discussion with Kynier – most of which had ended badly lately. Instead, there was a noted difference. She wasn’t sure what had changed. Was it him? Was it her? Was it the circumstances? They were actually talking and renewing connections that had been so strong in the past.

The bond came quickly, unexpectedly, and wrapped them both in tendrils of energy of their own making, uniting them in ways they were just beginning to understand. For Kelski, it was nothing short of miraculous. All her life she’d been seeking such a connection, needing it on a primal level, being a creature having been bred to bond and serve. And the irony of it was that she would have ran, putting distance between herself and Kynier, if he had not acted and had not decided that he wasn’t going to allow it.

And as he drew her close and their bond solidified, he understood every question that had just ran through his mind about Kelski’s fear. She hadn’t been afraid of him. She’d been afraid of the bond, of loosing herself in it, of giving up her sense of self. But what Marcus Kelvic could never have predicted in those early generations was that the evolution that occurred between his first generation Kelvics, his F1’s and F2 generations, and the creatures that the Kelvics would become… creatures like Kelski was leaps and bounds beyond what he designed. His willing slaves were gone, long lost to the Valterrian and to abusive humans they could not survive bonding too. Those that survived were something else, something far more than he could have imagined. Kelski was strong, independent, resourceful, and proud. Crafting servants from apex predators drove those generations after generations in a very specific direction… only the strongest, smartest, most determined and crafty thrived. And creatures like Kelski were in no danger of losing themselves to a bond.

They came in as equals. And though they borrowed traits from their human bondmates, they gave something of themselves to their human bondmates as well.

What she saw inside him, what she felt from him…. what she came to know when they linked, was so much more than she expected. And in return she slowly opened herself completely to him, unashamed of her devotion to him and her obsession of him. Kelski slowly relaxed and luxuriated in the bond, lounging in Kynier’s mind, surrounded by the core of him and infused by all that he was. She thrilled at the connection, and slowly those things that she guarded were relaxed and she gave him full access to her emotions… her thoughts. She combed his amusements, his passions, and even his deep profound love for her. Kelski experienced his pain… his complex and confusing pain.

Some of it was associated with her, some with the slab, and some with the loss of his family and others who were close to him. Kelski skirted the pain of his loss at her supposed death and instead soothed that part of him, infusing what he felt as loss with her sense of self, of health, of being very much there with him. She couldn’t sooth is other pains for they were deep seated and not as recent. But she tried anyhow, instead just infusing those parts of him with her love. Kelski was no healer, but she knew what it was like to hurt and be alone and Kynier had his share of that in his life. No longer though… absolutely no longer.

She recognized and understood his need for control and power. It wasn’t a big surprise to her, coming as more of a comfort than anything. She recognized and accepted his draw to her soul light, both for the need for power and the need to protect. Kelski was equally drawn to his, wrapping part of herself and her soul around his, feeling the weave between them and how the union strengthened them. She saw in that moment that she was the ice to his fire, for he burned so very brightly. Kynier held such tight control because he felt everything acutely and deeply, simple actions and words penetrating his psyche deeply. In a way, his mind was on fire, burning with the weight of a lot of his past and his present heavily smoldering. Her presence in the bond, and this initial exploration, was like a cooling balm slid across blistering flesh.

And it was like that for her, his warmth flooding her mind reassuring her that he did indeed feel deeply and with a passion that was almost limitless. With Kynier linked, it was like the Kelvic felt the warmth of sunlight and firelight for the very first time. And while she couldn’t read his mind, know his secrets, she could feel it and feel them, like arms outstretched and sensing the environment around herself as though she had no true eyes to see. The bond had a raw new quality that was firming up even as they linked, settling into each other’s minds. He took her geometric thinking and seemed to expand it, as if the bond taught her mind about advanced human thinking gently and insistently. Kelski bloomed like a flower under Kynier’s mind, reaching for him like that same flower would reach for the sun.

She sensed the barrier and darkness in the back of his mind and hissed at it. All her mental feathers puffed up and she screamed at it in challenge in a mental voice only a Sea Eagle had. The bitterness caused her to flare her unseen wings out in defense, as if they could shield the rest of Kynier from whatever burrowed like a parasite in the back of his mind. And for a moment, just a moment, her essence stood between it and what she knew as Kynier – cutting off the bitter hatred that grew like cancer in a nasty knot in the deep shadows of the back of Kynier’s awareness. A fight would have ensued but Kynier himself tamped down the bond and pulled Kelski gently away, back from what caused every protective instinct in her body to ignite. She lunged momentarily against it, in defiance, driven hard by her need to protect her bondmate. But Kynier extracted her until she was staring into his hazel eyes.

They were burning. He uttered his nickname for her, his features dripping with the hunger she always felt for him. Unleashed. Kynier was always tightly in control of himself, but through the bond she felt him unravel that control in a thought. The way he uttered her secret name… deep, gruff, heavy with need…. She barely realized he swung her around until she bumped against the counter. Male. He was so male… so Kynier as he dropped his hands down, found her belt, and freed it from her waist. Kynier had never been a forceful demanding lost-in-the-moment type lover until right then. She hissed as he stripped her clothing, raw need infusing her body. His lips were on hers, demanding, even as his hands bared her skin to the warmth of The Gem’s air. Fire.. he was fire and she craved it. Stroking his shoulders, digging her nails into his suddenly bare back, she felt him lift her and slide himself deep within her body suddenly and firmly.

She tilted her pelvis, arched her hips, and wrapped her long pale legs around him. She held to his shoulders, but arched her back, tilting her chin to the sky, and crying out in delight letting her long hair fall back in waves that lashed back and forth in rhythm to her bondmate’s thrusts. She barely felt his hand trace up her back and gather a big handful of her hair. So she gasped in surprise and loved it when he twisted her head to the side and sank his teeth into her neck, half holding her, half suckling, primal in his utter need. His body filled hers so perfectly, driving a burning heat into her core that built with an almost frightening intensity. Within his first two or three thrusts, she was exploding around him – about the moment his teeth found her skin – causing her nails to dig into him. There was no quiet wait, steady build-up, or anticipation of need. Her pleasure exploded into him and she shuddered around him even as he kept their bodies united and kept driving himself deeper. He moved her past it, with leaving weak trembles echoing through her form even as he continued his deep hard motions.

She was like an instrument. Played masterfully, the Kelvic curled around him, making inhuman noises that shouldn’t be able to be produced by her human throat. He could feel her perfect acceptance of him, as he fulfilled deep rooted needs, with his touch, his thrusts, his tongue on her skin, and his mind twined within hers. The sheer violence of their joining was beautiful in her mind, and quickly built another storm he could feel rising in her. His Kelvic…. His kelvic….was going to scream for him. And as his own completion raced for him, he understood in a way that an unlinked human could never see… that he owned Kelski in a way that made slavery seem a pale paltry ghostly thing. He had her heart. He had her mind. He had her soul. She was his…

The Sea Eagle screamed his name, mostly senseless, and tightened her legs on his torso.

Her heels dug into him, locking his pelvis to hers as he exploded into her, emptying his essence into her core. His feet were dug into the floor, as he pushed away from her and slammed back into her with hard firm micromovements grinding muscle and bone into muscle and bone as he filled her. He could feel Kelski convulsing around him again, as breathless, rising and pressing to match his own motions as she took his seed.

Her arms, which had released him somewhere near the end to grip the counter and brace herself, released the counter and came back around him, holding his chest to hers. He could feel the hypersensitivity of her nipples through the bond as they rubbed against his chest. She shook her head to release his grip on her hair and leaned forward to lap the sweet salty sweat off the side of his neck. Kelski had no inclination of moving and certainly didn’t want him off or out of her. Instead, she was deeply satiated and happy, drunk with the love and acceptance he oozed. She was so proud of him, so pleased with the bond. He could almost hear her thoughts, though her emotions flooded him quietly since their bond was wide open.

Love. Pride. Loyalty. Passion banked because it was satiated. Her silvery gaze was dilated, her black pupils opened so wide they almost swallowed the silver. Sweat plastered her hair to the side of her face even as she looked at him. There was no need for words, but she said them anyhow.

“Mine. You are mine for as long as we live. I will never leave you, never betray you, and try to never let you down. There will be only you for me, for you have always been the only one I’ve ever wanted since the moment I met you. I will protect you. I will nurture you. I will bear your children when you want them. My hands will be your hands when you need them. My body will be yours when you crave it. Serving you… loving you… being yours will be the greatest privilege of my life.” Kelski said softly. With each sentence she planted a kiss on a different part of him… eyelids, forehead, ears, cheeks. There were nuzzles too. She brushed her lips across his softly. “I love you. I hope you can feel it as much as I can feel your love for me.” She whispered, flexing her core around his shaft that was still buried deeply within her. They fit… together. Their bodies and minds fit so nicely together, complimenting and contrasting each other with a staggering perfection.

Kelski bumped her forehead against his, her lips still on his, and he felt it with his lips when she smiled and that smile translated into happiness and flowed across their bond, flooding him. It was flavored with satisfied pleasure and tinged with a soreness that Kelski seemed almost smug about. His Kelvic felt well-loved and was enormously pleased with what had just happened between them.

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Troubled Devotion (Kelski)

Postby Kynier on Yesterday, 2:53 am

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It had sounded as though it was an intrusive quality. To have such free access to the mind of another person. Feeling their feelings and noticing when they were actively thinking. While it was each of those things, it did not feel like a violation of the mind. Kelski’s presence within him was the opposite of Hashimer. When the voice stirred and came forth Kynier felt the lack of empathy and selfish drives He used to so frequently suggest. The Sea Eagle was more like experiencing a moment of clarity. The cool weightless sensation of the mind that would begin in the frontal lobes and make its way to the occipital lobe. She filled his mind with comfort, empathy, and so much more.

Already he was feeling the changes. Those that were occurring between them as well as within himself. All his life he had been withdraw and kept himself closed off from others. During their relationship he had opened for her, but they were merely cracks in his mental armor. Tonight, as they spoke, he acknowledged that it wasn’t sufficient to sustain what they wanted. That he needed to change to make it work. He did not know what it was that had changed for her, if anything, but Kynier had made the decision to open himself and embrace the possibilities, whether they would be pleasant or not. And pleasant was a terrible understatement.

Mentally he embraced her presence within his mind, they way he wished to embrace her in his arms each day. Through their bond they shared affection that words and actions alone would fail to articulate. The exchange of their emotions in their raw forms communicated so much. The cooling balm of her consciousness exploring his own, of bestowing love and assurances, provided a form of elation that no narcotic could ever simulate. Wounds and scars that he learned to live with no longer ached so terribly as she filled him with her spirit and with her nurturing heart.

Inside her mind Kynier had felt the doubts and uncertainties. The negative criticism she had for herself. Just as she applied the ice of her soul to his spiritual aches, he provided the fire of his spirit to share his passion and warmth. The Sea Eagle had suffered many hardships in life, and many different people had tried to break her spirit. To sense how much doubt she had in herself was shocking. Encouragement was what he tried to infuse in those spaces where she held doubt. And while the union of their souls was still solidifying, they both were actively filling in the weaker sections of each other to become something greater than the sum of its parts. They were both strong and uncertain of themselves. Of what they could and could not manage.

And for an instant, there was a moment of pure tranquility. It was that moment that the Sea Eagle set herself between him and the barrier that the voice stayed behind. Kynier desired the sensation to last, but it was so alien of a feeling to him that it felt undeserved. Gently, he suppressed the bond to pull her away from that place. Kelski fought against it and he felt the eruption of her own soul driven need to protect him. Even from himself. He loved her even more for it. But the voice felt like a part of himself. A resource that could be used for the right situations. It was impossible for him to imagine his mind without the presence of both of them now. Yet there was so much hostility that he sensed between them. There was a balance he would need to establish, one that was more in the Sea Eagle’s favor. For the voice had been quiet for a long time and provided less than it had before.

The dynamic was no longer the same either. He was no longer hesitant to fulfill his desires that came of her body. Before, the Sea Eagle displayed the sexual aggression and would play an equal share in establishing the rhythm their bodies took to. This time, Kynier established it all and she appeared to love it. All there was for her to do was to embrace it, which she gladly did. He tasted the sweetness of her skin as he suckled upon her neck. The feeling of her body and soul entwined with his own was rapture. The things he could not see but felt her doing drove him harder with his passion. How her long dark nails clawed at the skin of his shoulders, as well as the feel of her skin around his hips when she enveloped him with her legs.

Almost as soon as they started, he felt her body quake and tremble. The rush of sensations it had on her mind reflected in his own with such intensity that he had to grasp her tighter, suckle harder, and thrust harder to distract himself from such overwhelming pleasure. Continuing through it was difficult, though he was driven and determined to satisfy her need. Her complete acceptance of him fulfilled a part of his drive for power. Kynier took her body, mind, and soul selfishly and treasured it. All the precious stones in the world could not equate half of what she meant to him. This Sea Eagle… this woman… his Kelvic… was more valuable to him than his own soul. Kelski would feel it through the bond. How she brought him joy and meaning, as well as the carnal pleasures.

All of it was compounding on him and quickly. The wetness of her body, the feeling of her legs around him, the delicious taste of her skin, and the trills coming from her throat. Each of them stoked the fire of his passion until it became an inferno that heated his blood and lined his skin with sweat. He began to swell inside her as the inescapable end approached. Kynier felt it rising in her as well. A pressure building and building and building… until it had to be released in the sound of his name being screamed. Finally, his mouth released the flesh of her neck as he began to moan into her hair. Her legs squeezed him in tightly as the pressure of his own ecstasy was released into her. Kynier thrust harder into the entrapment of her legs with each releasing pulse, which was only made more astounding by her thrusting her hips back at his own.

When the last of his seed had been released, his body slumped a little. Kynier kept her up and against the kitchen counter, not intending of withdrawing or detaching immediately. At the shake of her head he released his grip on her hair and held both sides of her rump in both his hands. Gripping the muscles and curves she had developed in her freedom was something that brought him satisfaction. He loved the feeling of her strength. The strength of her body as well as her mind inside his own. The strength of her soul that was now and forever attached to his own.

When her dark tongue traced the side of his neck to taste his sweat his spine shuddered and his muscles rippled with pleasure. Her emotional and physical satisfactions washed over his mind, bringing the largest smile he was sure he ever had in his life. This. This was what he was afraid he would never have. That fear had been building gradually each day since their talk in the studio. All of it was gone and replaced with drunken bliss. The consummation of their bond brought satisfaction to his heart as much as it had to his body.

Kynier could not just look into her dilated eyes. His body was overwhelmed with love and pleasure he had to continue displaying affection. His hands tilted her body more into him as he felt her breasts press against him. Behind all the happiness and carnal fulfillment there was a lingering wonder. How? How had he been so blessed to be chosen by her? Kelski would sense the wonder of it through the bond, just as he sensed the pride and loyalty permeating from her in the bond. And he was breathless still as she covered him with kisses between the declarations of ownership and the vows she made. Kynier was so overjoyed that it felt like he’d shed tears of joy. He did not though. Bonded to Kelski, he felt that he’d never feel the urge to shed tears again.

Tasting her lips, he kissed her through the smile she had. When she flexed her core around him it caused him to flex his anatomy once in response. The smugness of her satisfaction did not go unnoticed. For him, it was an exhausted satisfaction. Had she desired a second round it would have required at least a bell of respite first for him. With both hands still cupping her rump, Kynier lifted her slightly so that he could slide out. With his flesh removed, he lowered her so that she could place her feet on the ground. Kynier leaned forward to keep her against the kitchen counter as his body seemed to envelop hers. A hand slid up the length of her body to wrap around the nape of her neck as the other slide up to her lower back just above the division of her rump.

Kynier kissed her once with a long, slow passion. He set his brow against hers as he looked into her eyes. “And I love you, my Feather. Anything you ask of me I shall give freely. I am yours, and you are mine. Each breath I breathe is for you. There is nothing that I have that is not yours as well. You have my heart. You have my soul. And you are forever in my mind. There is no other I could love after meeting you. I will protect you always. You have my support in everything and I wish to answer every question that I feel festering in that gorgeous mind of yours. I promise to hide nothing from you. To speak more openly to try and answer your questions before you need to ask. This life I have will be spent at your side. And I vow that nothing will come between us.”

He pulled her against him tighter for another kiss. If Kynier were a drunk, then Kelski would have been his drink of preference. For he was thirsty for her spirit and for that endless well of love and care he felt in her soul. The connection to her felt so perfect. A small fear arose inside of him. One that he expressed. “Tell me that this is not a dream, Feather. And if it is… keep me here with you.” He could not hold still and his hands were continuously moving over her skin. Tracing ever inch of her skin along her back, her sides, her hips, her breasts, her shoulders, and her neck. So great was his love that he felt as though he could consume her.

Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the one tear from falling from his eye. Kelski would sense no sadness within him. Just an overabundance of joy. As his brow rested against hers, he closed his eyes. His next words were a soft whisper that he spoke in reverence. “Thank you Akajia. Thank you for guiding me to your Favored. For all that you have given to me.” When he was done, he possessively hugged his bondmate tightly to him. “I love you. It feels that I could never say that enough.”

Then a thought formed in the back of his mind. One that grew continuously until it could not be kept well enough alone. The idea felt a little absurd after what had just transpired. But there was a strong curiosity and compulsion to indulge in it. Kynier pulled himself away just far enough to look directly into the Sea Eagles mercurial silvers. And the question on his mind was burning on the tip of his tongue. “Kelski, there is something that I want to ask. Something that seems silly to ask after finally establishing the bond with you. But it is something that I cannot help but to ask.” His heart pounded heavily in his chest with apprehension. He took a shaky breath as he steadied himself to ask.

“Kelski… would you be my wife?”




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