I have something to say.
I'm trying to get back on my feet here. I haven't posted much, as anyone, in a long while. I don't blame my muse, or whatever, or a lack of thread partners and plots, but my own personal commitment to this site and these people. You all are great, in so many ways, and I quite enjoy socialising with you and threading with you. It's awesome.
I've been on tenterhooks about leaving my ST account for a while because I, at least in my own opinion, think I suck. At being an ST and at being an active member of the community here. I found out today that a PC in one of my quests left the site and I took that as a sure sign that my lack of commitment affected his choice to leave, but I know I shouldn't think that. Mizahar gets turnovers too, quite often, and even though Nijin is now the sole participant of the quest, I'll make it work for her. I owe her that. And I owe my DS and her PC some answers, too, not to mention the people that have been waiting on me for quite some time in my home domain.
I'm not a good ST, and I don't look for reassurances that I am or that I'm not. I don't mind what others will think about me, I'm still going to give this another shot and try to be the ST I expected myself to be when I volunteered for the position.
It's the holiday season. I can't promise a reply to everything every day, but I will promise a grade at least, or a heads up. I've not been good at that, at all, but at rock bottom I can only improve from here.
Guys, don't take this as a pity party or as anything but what I'm trying to make it. An apology. A public apology, not in the secrecy of a Coord thread or the relative privacy of an OOC thread.
I'm sorry, guys, and I love you.
I'm trying to get back on my feet here. I haven't posted much, as anyone, in a long while. I don't blame my muse, or whatever, or a lack of thread partners and plots, but my own personal commitment to this site and these people. You all are great, in so many ways, and I quite enjoy socialising with you and threading with you. It's awesome.
I've been on tenterhooks about leaving my ST account for a while because I, at least in my own opinion, think I suck. At being an ST and at being an active member of the community here. I found out today that a PC in one of my quests left the site and I took that as a sure sign that my lack of commitment affected his choice to leave, but I know I shouldn't think that. Mizahar gets turnovers too, quite often, and even though Nijin is now the sole participant of the quest, I'll make it work for her. I owe her that. And I owe my DS and her PC some answers, too, not to mention the people that have been waiting on me for quite some time in my home domain.
I'm not a good ST, and I don't look for reassurances that I am or that I'm not. I don't mind what others will think about me, I'm still going to give this another shot and try to be the ST I expected myself to be when I volunteered for the position.
It's the holiday season. I can't promise a reply to everything every day, but I will promise a grade at least, or a heads up. I've not been good at that, at all, but at rock bottom I can only improve from here.
Guys, don't take this as a pity party or as anything but what I'm trying to make it. An apology. A public apology, not in the secrecy of a Coord thread or the relative privacy of an OOC thread.
I'm sorry, guys, and I love you.