You might have noticed I've been a bit out of it these last couple of days. I was smote, smitten or whichever the right word is with the cold. The cold is a really interesting illness for one simple reason in my opinion. I can still do everything that I can do regularly but I am constantly tired and my thinking capacity doesn't span longer than brief windows of clarity which I, selfishly, was using to work on my PC who, despite being here since Summer, only recently passed the literal IC 50 posts.
So I've been really selfish with my time since about Friday onward which was the day after I got back (I think) so, in essence, my return to my modding duties has been a flop to say the least. With a whole months worth of creative ideas splurging around in my head only able to burst out in those odd moments of clarity between hacking up my lungs and sleeping in six hour bursts I just dove headfirst into Shane and ignored my moderaterly duties.
Which got me to thinking about the whole affair. I'm kind of bad at this. I've always been bad with deadlines. I'm a slow and sporadic worker. The kind that works best on flexitime. You know I do a few hours here and a few hours there but the work gets done. Unfortunately in any kind of work that involves other people depending on you it just doesn't work.
If I were a Grader I'd probably have been fired by now mitigating circumstances or no. Mostly because I keep putting Grade Placeholders on things and although I remember reading that you're only meant to do so when you're actually grading but every time I work out with Mirage what I'm going to be grading or see an interesting thread I put a placeholder on it meaning to claim it so that Mirage, the only other grading person I know of in Sahova, doesn't start grading it. So, although I know one rule at crunch time it never occurs to me. I don't know if I have a memory defect or a subconscious rebellious streak. The funny thing about this rule though is that the only people who seem to tell me off for doing it are not Mirage (in fact the only people who tell me off for anything just happen to not be Mirage) but I need to be told off anyway so it doesn't matter so much the source.
I considered quitting earlier this week. An incident in Chat kind of opened my eyes to just how terrible a mod I really was. On two or three occasions I've had to amend my Grades because of embarrassing mistakes. I've left grades sitting for days and weeks at a time because I haven't got around to them or had to do them in parts (sometimes I wonder if Sahova was such a good choice for a new STer. Some of the biggest and meatiest threads I've ever seen take place here). Frankly, my work rate has been appalling to say the least but, for some reason, Mirage still has faith in me and that need to give back that I've had since I joined the site is still here. I feel as if any help no matter how slow, or small, is help. As long as I'm not hindering anything then I'm useful and I want to be useful. I might never be a DS or even as good as some of the high-flying AS out there but I am helping.
I don't know how you existing Storytellers took to the role. Maybe you were pros after just a week or maybe you had teething difficulties like me but I ask, of all of you Founder, RS, DS, AS, JrST, Chat Mod and player, to handle with care. I'm learning and adapting and trying my best to stop sucking so much (mostly at the grading, I've heard considerably less complaints about the developing).