Okay.. so after chatting in chat, I decided to go ahead and write this. It is the story of me and my wife.
A long time ago, in a town that happens to be the exact same town I'm in now, I had a van. It was big, it was brown, and it was awesome! It once had shag carpeting, which was pretty cool, but it was replaced with wood interior. Why is this better? First of all, it's wood, and who else can say they have a wooden car? And secondly, if you spill something, you just wipe it up. Instead of vacuuming it out or shampooing carpet, I just swept and mopped it. Also, it had a killer sound system. This van was my second home. And it was always full of people. Often before school we would hang out in the parking lot listening to music and just "chillin" in the back of my van. One day my best friend got in the van with this girl. I thought nothing of it. She was just some chick my friend was dating, and so I paid her little attention at all. Plus, they were making out.. and that's just not something I wanted to watch, and so really I didn't even look at her.
So, time went on, and every day this girl was there. I learned that her name was Kelsey, but knew little else about her. My friend was too busy making out to let her get to know any of us. It wasn't until my dad, who is a former karate teacher and 3rd Degree Blackbelt in P'an Q'ue Do (my family's personal martial arts style), decided he wanted to pass on his knowledge to his children that I started to get to know her. It was all just to teach me and my brother, but he let us bring others, and thus our karate classes began in the tennis court at the park down the street from my house. Kelsey, along with my best friend and a few others, all started coming to karate class with me. Seeing as how I had the big brown van, and was the only one with a drivers license, it was generally my job to pick everyone up and take everyone home. I didn't mind, I loved doing it.
 My brother (left), Kelsey (center), and Me (right)
Now, my best friend, his parents were crazy. And I mean in a literal sense. So he was often grounded for no real reason and unable to come to class. So time and time again I was left taking Kelsey home without him. This meant we got to know each other better, and started becoming friends. After a while, even when my friend was there, I would take Kelsey home last just to talk with her alone for a little while. I didn't realize I was falling for her until much later.
During this time we also joined the robotics team at our school. Well.. my best friend joined, and so I followed because I was bored. Same for Kelsey. I knew nothing about robotics, nothing at all, but neither did half the members. I didn't even see the robot until it was complete, to be honest. My friend, however, did no a little bit about robots and was often involved in the actual process of making it or programing it. Which left me and Kelsey alone again, and our friendship solidified even more until she basically replaced him as my best friend. Still, I didn't realize I had actual feeling for her, though everyone else except her boyfriend seemed to notice. He was far to oblivious to notice my growing attraction, or her detachment from him. But nothing happened between us. We were just friends.
Now, I used to race motocross, which is dirtbike racing. I was pretty good at it, and back then I had the time to do it often. It was a big race, and so I invited all my friends. Kelsey came, but he could not because he was grounded again. So, she came without him along with several of my other friends. When I wasn't racing, we hung out and wandered in the woods. Eventually Kelsey and I got separated from the group and found ourselves sitting by a river just talking. I was holding her hand. I will never forget that moment, even though at the time I thought nothing of it. I had been holding her hand to help her down onto the rocks, and just hadn't let go. But still, we were both oblivious to the feelings we obviously had for each other.
 I'm the one in red
So one day I take her home from Karate.. or maybe it was robotics, I can't remember. We're sitting in the van talking for hours. I don't know what we were talking about, just random stuff. I remember I was looking at her, and she was looking back at me. And we just kind of trailed off and stared into each other's eyes. And then I snapped out of it and pointed at something random and said, "Hey, look at that." Shortly afterwards she went inside and I went home. That's when I started keeping a journal. Here is my first entry ever: (warning, there's gonna be a lot of mushy stuff for a while, so bear with me)
11/2/04
I've had this journal for months now though I've never thought to write a word in it until tonight. Make no mistake, to anyone reading this, this is not just a random thought. I've had this in my head for weeks now, but I'm afraid to say it. So I'm writing it down in hopes that it might make it easier for me. Oh, and ignore the upside downness of how I write, it's just easier for a lefty. Well, here goes.
I know you've said I can tell you anything. You said it to me just tonight, and you're the first person to say it that I actually believe. But the thing is, I'm afraid of what might happen if I really do tell you everything...
A while back you asked if I had feelings for you and I said, "Yeah, I guess I do." Well, that was a bit of an understatement. The truth is, I like you more than just a little. I like you more than a lot. Of all my friends, of every girl I've ever liked, you are the first who actually gets me. You are the first I can sit in the van, or on the bed, and talk for hours with. You're who I dream about, who I think about when I'm alone. I love every moment I'm with you, even the ones when he's around. There's not a day that goes by I haven't wished you apart, so I might at least have a chance with you. But I'm afraid it might ruin my friendship with him if he knew how I feel about you. I know I don't have to worry about you. I'll always be your friend, and I know you'll always be mine. It's just so hard to come out and say it. To let you know how I feel, though I think you might suspect it. You might not think I like you this much, but I really do. I like you more than like. Maybe it's love. I don't know. I've never been as close to anyone as you. But unfortunately I can't tell you any of this. You're with him, and I'll just have to be content with being your friend. ...I don't even know why I'm writing this to you. You'll probably never read this. And if he ever reads this, I'm sorry but it's all true. I hope he doesn't get too angry and stop being my friend. If you ever read this, it's all true. I mean every word of it, I'm just afraid to tell you. |
Ahem.. yeah.. so that was the first journal entry I ever wrote. I don't remember her asking if I had feelings like I wrote, but apparently she did. Anyway, doesn't matter, the point is, I started writing every day to hold it in. Then one day we are talking over AIM, or maybe it was Yahoo!, I don't remember. And I don't know what made me do it, but I said, "Kelsey, I think I love you." She took so long to respond.. I was freaking out. Why was she taking so long? What's going on? Did I just ruin everything? Finally she responds back, "I think I love you too." ..apparently her mom had been in the room and she was waiting until she left. Now for some more journal entries:
11/21/04
Today was great. From beginning to end. We played D&D for most of the day, and Kelsey didn't have to much trouble learning I think. There are way to many people in the party though. We need to lose Jonathan and Chris Laut, I think. After I took everybody home, I went to the movies with Kelsey. We saw the Incredibles. Surprisingly, it didn't suck. Near the end of the movie Kelsey got a little close. She... snuggled my arm and leaned her head against my shoulder. I wanted nothing more than to snuggle her back. I think I would have too had her family not been there. I wanna go to the movies with Kelsey alone, just to see what happens. I hope something happens. After the movies Kel and I walked and talked. I wanted to bring it up and talk to her about it, or hold her hand, or something.. I just didn't have the courage. Anyway, I'm tired. Goodnight.
~Ron
11/22/04
I want them to break up so much.. even if I don't get her, I can't take being around them. Today we finished up D&D. That's about it.
11/23/04
I told her how I feel! She feels the same, I think. I don't know what's going to happen next. I'll write more later. I need to sleep now, if I can.
11/25/04 (Happy Thanksgiving!)
Today is thanksgiving, but that's not what I'm gonna write about. I'm going to write about yesterday. Day before yesterday we had a Halo 2 party. Power went out, tornado knocked over a tree. Tommy & Jon spent the night. I dropped them off at 2, then wet over to kelsey's. WE spent the rest of the day together, wandering around, talking, cuddling at the park, and cutting vegetables. I left around midnight. But before I left, I was sitting in her room on the bed and she tells me to close my eyes. My heart started beating so fast, I knew she was going to kiss me. I expected a short kiss. It definitely wasn't short. One kiss led to another and we made out for a good two minutes or so before we pulled away. I don't know which one of us pulled away. I didn't want to stop, but I think it was me who pulled back. At the van we kissed again. I didn't even feel the cold. I didn't want to let her go but I did. We said a reluctant goodbye, kissed again, and then I went home. The whole drive I was shaking, I don't know if it was from the cold or excitement or nerves or what. I can't wait to see her today. I'll be eating thanksgiving with them. When I can get her alone I'm gonna kiss her again. I don't want any awkwardness between us. I love her...
~Ron |
So anyway.. that's enough journal entries for now. Tommy was grounded that week, which is why he never got in the way of anything. We were all off for thanksgiving, but he was stuck at home. Monday when we went back to school she broke up with him. He was devastated.. we kept our relationship a secret from him. About a week later we couldn't hide it anymore, and on December 11th, 2004 we officially started "dating." Tommy was furious. He wanted nothing to do with me.. which is understandable. He wanted to hurt Kelsey, which was over the line. Tommy, being the coward that he was, threatened to fight her. Kelsey, being the proud woman she is, agreed and they were going to fight each other after the robotics meeting. ...he would have crushed her. I've seen both of them fight in karate and it would have been brutal. But as soon as I found out it was going to happen I interfered. I stepped up to him in the parking lot at school and he backed down. His own brother threatened to beat him up if he so much as laid a hand on Kelsey.
Finally, about a month later, he tells me he is going to punch me. I said, "Okay, but if you punch me I will punch you back." He said no, because in his mind he deserved to punch me. I told him he was right, he could have the first punch if he wanted to take it, but I was still going to punch him back. I'm sorry, but if somebody punches me they aren't getting it for free. Again, he backed down. I lost all of my friends.. well, not really, but it was just too difficult to hang out with them since all my friends were also his, so I let him have them. Occasionally they would come hang out with me, but everything changed. I didn't care, I had kelsey and I was happy.
We left Texas and moved to New Mexico with her sister. That was probably the best year of my life. We got to build a new set of friends. We went mountain climbing, snowboarding, visited native american ruins, all sorts of stuff. Over the summer we went on a huge road trip through several states, went to the Rainbow Gathering which is a mass gathering of hippies in the wilderness, and did so much. The wedding was soon to come. ..but it all came crashing down when our landlord refused to let us renew out lease. He wanted to remodel and charge more. He kicked us out. We would have stayed in New Mexico. We should have stayed in New Mexico. But my parents had an extra house for us back in Texas, so we returned.
From there it was one hardship after another. Robberies, terrible roommates, house falling apart, 2 hurricanes, broken down cars. Over and over something bad happened. Over and over we put off the wedding due to lack of money. One good thing in all of it, we made up with Tommy. He calls me up one day and says, "Hey, I heard yall were playing D&D again. Can I come?" I said yes, and we patched things up. He was married by then. But that was minor compared to all that happened. But we held on, and the wedding finally came.
That didn't things any easier. Robberies continued, car problems got worse and worse, and our roommates.. don't even get me started on them. Our dog died a very painful death from a blood clot.. it was one of the saddest moments of my life. I've had dogs die on me, but never in a way like this. Her leg was the first to go. It was ice cold.. like death. We took her to the vet and they told us, "Oh, she'll be fine. Bring her back on Friday for surgery." ..that was two days later. She died overnight. We woke up in the morning... we cried for hours. I never cry, but it was so sad. We buried River in the woods behind my parents house. Sometimes I still go out there to sit next to the engraved bowl with her name on it, which marks her final resting place.
The robberies and all that continued.. we ran. We kicked out our roommates, fled to my parents house, and emptied the place of what little valuables were left. We don't get along to well with my parents.. but it was better than living in fear of the next break in. Things started to get better. ..and then our cat got eaten by a hawk. He was our first pet together, little Kenny.. and a hawk stole him from us. A short while later we got a puppy, but she was stolen from our yard. ..the car broke down completely, we were forced to get rides. Kelsey was fired. I was fired a few months later.
I have a new job now. Kelsey is finally going to school. We have a new puppy, a new car, and are about to move into a new place with new friends who have good jobs and are good people. It took seven years of hardship, but things are finally looking up. Kelsey is smiling again. We are finally happy. And that is our story so far. Perhaps it's not as epic as I made it out to be, or perhaps I should have gone into some more detail on some of the things that happened, but that's what it is. |
by Irriari on July 29th, 2011, 7:23 pm 
