[Verilian/Sira's Scrapbook] The Truth.. as I See It

by **Sira** on December 2nd, 2011, 2:45 pm

Sira's Thread Goals
Winter 511 AV

December (2011)
1. Build something out of snow. (probably build a snowman with Addy or something)
2. Get lost in the Winter Wonderland. (probably do this in the same thread as the snowman)
3. Make a new friend (do a thread with someone new)
4. Discover a secret (still working on that idea.. maybe find out the name of Sira's father)

January(2012)
1. Eat the Blue Mold

(just work that into any random thread)
2. Explore someplace in Wind Reach that you've never been. (um.. I'll pick somewhere)
3. Winter is stressful. Find a way to cool your (or someone elses) temper. (possibly do some drugs with Addy)
4. Explore what it feels like to really be hungry. (drugs, a baby, and lack of food make Sira a hungry girl)

February(2012)
1. Learn to Dance. (something at the inclement weather, possibly while on drugs)
2. Help Someone in need. (maybe realize Addy has a drug problem and help her. if not, help a hungry dek, or maybe find another PC to help)
3. Attend the Winter Revelry. (uh.. attend the Winter revelry)
4. Celebrate Diversity. (hrm.. not sure yet)

by **Verilian** on December 9th, 2011, 6:13 pm

Come What May

No, I'm not talking about the song, though I do like that song. This is about my life philosophy. First of all I would like to say that I was not always like this. At some point I had an epiphany and changed, but I won't go into the details of how and why here. Second, I am not trying to criticize anyone else by writing this, I just felt like writing it. In all honestly, I could care less how you live your life or what you think about mine, its part of the philosophy. Anyway, now that the disclaimers are out of the way, its time for me to ramble on and hope that I make some kind of sense.

First issue I'm going to address is anger, because in the end its the only thing that matters. I used to be one of those people who bottled up their rage over time until one day it built up so bad that I would explode on a random person. If something made me mad, or sad, or whatever I just kept my mouth shut, seethed in rage, and waited until I couldn't take it any longer. Not a very healthy way of living, but there are a lot of people out there who are just like I was. Other people react to bad situations instantly and explosively, while others hide their anger and plot their revenge.

I hate anger, I hate it with a passion. My wife is an exploder and revenge plotter. Don't make her mad. My new way of seeing things annoys her so much. That's because when things happen that should make me angry, I just don't seem to care. Now that's not entirely true. I will admit that I find myself in a state of being where I really do just not care about certain things, but in truth its a bit more complex. This all happens in an instant, but if I take time to slow down and think about it I can explain what actually happens. Basically, when something happens that might anger me, time freezes. My mind says, "Hey, let's chill here for a bit in the time outside time and see how long it takes for you to cool down. So.. its been an hour, still mad? Okay, let's wait a day. Still mad? No? Good. Now, is it worth getting all worked up over this and potentially saying or doing something you regret? Is it worth actually feeling those horrible feelings that come with rage? I don't think so.. well, lucky for you you've already had a day to cool off, so let's unpause." With a clear and calm mind I react. No rage, because rage sucks for all of us. Rage is unhealthy. Don't rage.

Now.. does this mean I ignore everything? Of course not. But it allows me to choose what is worth actually dealing with, and what is better to just let go. Hint: most things its better to let go.

I have this saying, "If its not going to affect me in the long run, why should I get worked up over it?"

Now.. there are many things I won't let stand. Injustice, people hurting my friends and family, people abusing animals or children, but I find that being calm and assertive is a lot more effective than raging out of control. ...unless you are trying to get your money back because Best Buy fucked up your Verizon bill. >.> Sometimes you just gotta scare them, yknow. But I wasn't actually mad, they made a simple $200 mistake. ...and they have fixed it.

So.. Come What May, the name for my philosophy that I just now came up with. Come what may, I will not allow it to ruin my day unless it is absolutely worth it. If my mom dies, I'll be sad. If my roommate accidentally breaks my xbox, I'll be annoyed and maybe a little angry for a second, but I will calm.down just as quickly and calmly demand that they replace it. If you hurt my friends and family, I will exact swift justice and move on with my life. Come what may, I am going to live my life in peace and fuck all of you who try to stop me. I don't get mad, I move on.

PS: So.. I think this scrap mostly came off as me just bragging about my life view... I really don't know what my intentions were in writing this. I'd just like to say, if something bad, frustrating, or infuriating is happening in your life, stop for a moment and ask yourself: Is it worth feeling all these negative emotions, or should I just move on? Sometimes you have to deal with things, but sometimes its just better to move on and let come what may.

by **Caelum** on December 9th, 2011, 6:23 pm

One of my all time favorite quotations:

"Say what you know, do what you must, come what may." - Sofia Kovalevskaya.

by **Gossamer** on December 9th, 2011, 7:07 pm

Can I meet your wife? I need more revenge plotters to plot with in my life.

by **Aidara** on December 9th, 2011, 7:14 pm

Jen, invite me to that meeting and I'll stand anxiously in the back, wringing my hangs going "guys thats really mean!"

And Ron, I love this scrap. With all the passionate anger Ive been feeling in my current situation, this gives me a LOT I think about. I hate being mad.

by **Verilian** on December 12th, 2011, 7:36 pm

So um.. I still needs some assistant storytellers in Ravok. I'm all lonely and stuff over here...

Seriously though, I am looking for at least one Assistant Storyteller to come help out in Ravok. Whether you like busy work or weaving epic tales, I need a bit of everything. And if you like development, well, we've got a lot of that coming up to. Don't be intimidated just because the city is ruled by a big scary woman and her even bigger and scarier lover. I promise Rhysol and the Voice won't bite you. They only bite players. Storytellers get cookies. (Cookies are entirely fictional and have no nutritional value)

So, if you want to get your hands dirty, spread some evil and chaos, and join a thriving city the please please PM me and we'll see if you're a good fit. I promise I won't bite either.. unless you're into that sort of thing. >.>

by **Verilian** on December 13th, 2011, 5:40 pm

So.. due to some recent weirdness on my AIM account, I have decided to make a new one. The new name is:
Verilian1

I won't be logging in to the old one anymore. In fact, if you do see me logged in please send me a PM on miz or shoot me a text if you have my number. Thanks!

by **Verilian** on December 14th, 2011, 11:26 pm

Self Critique
AKA
Self Doubt

Twin Souls

Okay, so I just finished my first ever gnosis thread. I've never been in one as a player, and never started off with gnosis, so really this was my first ever gnosis thread. Now I'm sure if Xalet reads this she will say that it was a great thread and lots of fun and all that. I'm not saying it was bad... but was it enough? It certainly wasn't my longest modded thread. I had these big plans for it, and everything I wanted to happen happened... And yet I don't know if it was enough.

The thread presented challenges, Xalet almost died twice, and it had opportunity for personal growth which Xalet used to better understand his other soul. So... It had everything I wanted. But it turned out to be a lot shorter than I thought it would. This is actually a problem I have with a lot of modded threads I do. It's not me getting bored and wanting to end it or anything. I just rush the story along. I don't like to sit on once scene for twenty posts when it can be done in two. My fear is that I lose out by doing this, not that its intentional, its just how I write.

So I guess what I take from all this rambling is, I need to learn to slow down and let the story develop a little slower. But not so much that I spend twenty posts on every scene when they aren't that important. I just need to try to spread out the important parts. Um... So yeah. Feel free to comment if you want. I mostly wrote this for myself as a reminder that I need to take my time and extend the epic.

...the end. >.>

by **Verilian** on December 29th, 2011, 5:18 pm

Bleh... I hate doing these, but I'm gonna make a wallowing in self pity scrap. Why? Because we all know that writing makes us feel better (its who we are) and because we all secretly want someone to tell us its all gonna be okay. So feel free to do so and help get me out of this damn rut.

It's the holidays, my favorite time of the year, and they have been epic on levels that I cannot describe without breaching the generally PG13 rating of my scraps (ahem. Think that Last Friday night song by Katy Perry) I should be happy, but I am not. My roommate, who Kelsey and I both adore, both have a secret (not so secret) crush on, and love living with is moving away because of an awesome job opportunity that we couldn't begin to deny her. She is both of our best friend, and changed our lives with our awesomeness. Kelsey and I were falling into a depression. Our jobs weren't going anywhere. We couldn't afford for either of us to go to school. Our roommates who we thought were our friends betrayed us and (we suspect) robbed us of almost all our possessions. Our lives sucked.

Then Kimmie comes along, an old friend of Kelsey's, and things started getting better. Despite what I might seem like around here, I am very bad at making friends. I don't like stupid unimaginative people. Luckily you are all writers and possessing of at least some intelligence, otherwise I probably wouldn't like you either. But that's neither here nor there, the point is its hard for me to make friends, real friends anyway, and even harder for Kelsey. But Kimmie wanted us as friends, and even though I resisted I couldn't help but fall in love with her charm. She's awesome, and the three of us became great friends. She invited us to live with her in her dad's rental house, and for an insanely low price. And we all became better friends.

Which brings me to reason two that I am sad. We're about to be homeless again. We knew it was temporary, that her work was going to take us away from each other for a while and her dad was gonna sell the house, but it came five months earlier than we expected, and now we are about to be homeless. Her dad doesn't want us there if she isn't. The only reason he was renting the place out at all was to help her. So... While we are both very happy for Kimmie and fully understand her desire to take this opportunity, and though we will miss her we understand she'll be back in a few months.. we are about to be homeless. We have till the end of January, which is plenty of time, but its just depressing and I am depressed and as I said in the beginning sometimes we just gotta wallow in self pity.

So.. I demand happy pics and to be told it will be okay! Do it!!!

~V

by **Liandra** on December 29th, 2011, 5:42 pm

One of my cats has offered to stroke your cheek ever so gently to comfort you.