[Verilian/Sira's Scrapbook] The Truth.. as I See It

[Sira]

Okay, since everyone else is doing it, I will too. Caelum's guide thingy Sira Sira's Goals: Okay, so my view on this whole goals thing is that your character can have goals, but you can also have goals for your character. They don't even have to be similar to one another. For instance, one of my goals for Sira is to get a year’s worth of thread goals done and get the medal. But that of course has nothing to do with Sira herself, and if someone were to walk up to her and ask how she was doing on getting all her thread goals she'd look at them crazy. Another goal for Sira, obviously, is to have her baby. In character that simply means surviving nine months of pregnancy and popping the little thing out. But for me that means finding somebody to play the child. I had a person lined up who would have been a good fit, but they have been gone and I don't know if they will be back in time. I will wait as long as I can, but its getting to the point where I am going to start having to interview new candidates. A more recent goal for Sira is to find her father. This hasn't actually come to Sira's mind yet, but will be spawned as a result of discovering her mother is dead. Sira went looking for her mother to ask questions about the baby only to discover she had died some time ago and nobody informed her. True, she could find out some answers from her brothers, but the idea will pop into her head that she needs to find her father. She'll have many questions for him, such as where has he been, why didn't he stay, ect, ect, and will he have a part in her life from then on. But that is only the extent of Sira's goal. My goal is to turn it into an awesome quest. My hope is that whatever storyteller/s help me out in this will lead me on an epic search to find Sira's father. Maybe he was important, maybe he is a criminal, maybe he was banished from wind reach for some reason, maybe he is a god? Who knows? It doesn't matter why, to be honest, so long as it leads to a great story. But I want something more than just he was a kelvic passing through who slept with Sira's mother and moved on. Future goals for Sira.. well, I know I want her to get marked by Priskil. But I am in no rush on that. Slowly I am leading her towards her faith, but that is a gradual process. All in all, I'd like Sira to do something important with her life. I want it to have meaning, and get as many epic quests out of it as I can. Sira wants only to be accepted, loved, and prove herself worthy of her station. She doesn't want all this horrible epic stuff to happen to her, but I do, and so she's just gonna be stuck with it. Traits: It's hard to define Sira in just four traits.. but I'm going to try. Oh, and I liked Jen's use of the word trait over character Diamond. I've heard the term before also.. but I don't like diamonds, and it sound too rigid for me anyway. I also did not mark the traits as positive or negative, as most traits can be viewed in both lights. Constant Traits: Pride: Sira is very proud of her self. Of what she has accomplished in life and what she believes she will one day accomplish. Her pride is why she never backs down from a fight, be it verbal or physical, and why she resisted bonding with a person for so long. She cannot acknowledge anyone as a master, though she does accept that there are those with more authority than her. It is what made her bonding with Aidara so hard, because she feared becoming a servant like all the other kelvics out there, and it is also what drove her to prove her worth as an endal. Sira's pride drives most of her interactions with her. If you slight her and damage her pride she will not be happy. Insecure: Sira's insecurity is another thing that drives her. Just as her pride pushes her to do better, her insecurity is why she wants to be better. Sira has believed for a long time that because she is not a true Inarta or a true Wind Eagle that she is not as good as they are. Her pride often covers this, but when her heritage is put to question or her inability to do something is brought to light Sira's insecure side comes out. She fears not being accepted above all else, and so she tries her best to prove she belongs even if she believes she does not. Situational Traits: Impish: Sira enjoys playing around. She especially enjoys messing with the lower castes, putting them in situations that she knows will be awkward for them for her own amusement. Games are a favorite of Sira's, even if the other players doen't know she is playing with them. Any time she finds something she can toy with, she does, whether it be an unsuspecting dek, and endal who botched a hunt, or a healer who woke up with frizzy hair. Sira is going to have her fun no matter what. Opinionated: Sira believes what she believes, whether other people agree with her or not. If somebody does something she believes improper, wrong, or just plain stupid they will know about it. While she is very accepting of lower castes and other races, she also believes everyone should know their place. There are times for fun and games, but if one oversteps their bounds they are going to hear about it. If somebody does something Sira deems stupid, they are going to hear about it. If somebody does something the wrong way, they are going to hear about it. Sira is not afraid to speak her mind.

[Sira]

Leveling Up! So.. I'm not entirely sure how to begin this scrap. This is something I've been thinking about for a while now, but don't know exactly how to achieve. Don't worry, this wont be a sappy or sad drama filled scrap. This scrap is about self improvement, primarily with my writing though I will touch on a couple other aspects of my life first. Next semester, barring any unforeseeable disasters (which actually happen to me a lot), I will finally be going back to school. I'm pretty excited, but I recently had a conversation that has given me pause. I'm still going to school, don't worry about that, but I am now doubting my plan. I know what I want to be, but it's the how that has been put into question. I want to be a police officer, eventually a detective. I originally planned to get a degree in criminal justice, just like all the commercials tell you to do. But after a recent conversation with a county sheriff I am not so sure anymore. He said that I would be wasting my time, that getting a degree in criminal justice would be pointless. Now, I'm not trying to bash anyone who has gotten the degree, those were his words not mine, but his arguments made sense once he explained them to me. He said that it was pointless because I was just going to have to learn it all again as part of my job. It wouldn't help me to already know it, it'd just be doing the work twice. He also said that if I ever changed my mind about being a cop, or was unable to be one anymore, what was I going to do with a criminal justice degree? It wouldn't serve me anywhere else. Getting a degree in something else means I bring something unique to the table, and I have something to fall back on should becoming a cop not work out. I see where he's coming from, and I completely agree.. so now I have a dilemma. What do I do? I would like to have my own business one day, but I don't need a degree for that. I just need money, a product, a market, ect. Of course my other dream is to write. As I'm sure many of you here would also like to do, I would like to write a novel one day. It doesn't have to be a best seller or anything, but I would still like to do it. ..but do I want to go to school for that? Do I need to? Feel free to comment on any of the above, but ultimately this isn't what this scrap is about. It's about my writing, here on Miz. Recently I've been given two medals, and a promotion to DS. I know I'm a good writer, those awards are enough to wipe any doubt from my mind, but I don't believe I am not a great writer yet. I have my strengths and my weaknesses just like anyone else, and I am working on improving. Looking back at my writing on my old site, where I received similar awards to the ones Sira has been given, I realize I have improved a lot since then. I'm also not in high school anymore, I'm older, and have more life experience under my belt. Looking over my time on Miz, however, I do not believe I have improved all that much. It may seem that I have, but I think it's more that I have gotten used to writing in Miz. I've become more familiar with the lore, my fellow writers, and just grown comfortable her. Lately, however, I feel I've gotten a bit lazy. Sure, my posts per day are way up, but my posts are shorter, I'm not spell checking like I should, and I think my quality of writing has gone down a little. All this is related to laziness, I know, and now that I'm aware of it I'll slap myself on the wrist and fix it. Being lazy doesn't concern me much. It's the why that bothers me. I feel like my writing has become stagnant. Like it isn't going anywhere. I need to find a way to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses, and I am no different. I know that other people's views of what I am good or bad at may even differ from my own, but I am going to try to outline them here. Sort of my own personal character diamond type thing.. except I'm only going to do one strength and one weakness.. so.. character.. line thing. My biggest strength I believe to be my ability to come up with a story. It's easy for me. You want an action thread? Sure, I'll give you an action thread. Romance? You got it. Mystery? I got a puzzle for you. Coming up with plots and making them happy is simple for me. And as Jen once told me, they make sense. I think this is because I always try to come up with a reason for my stories. I'll give an example. Bob is new to Ravok. He wants a thread where he gets to kill somebody. Okay.. that's easy enough. People kill people in Ravok all the time, I could just have somebody randomly attack him. But that's kinda lame, and would Bob really appreciate the lack of work I put into coming up with that story? If you even want to call it a story. So lets add some dept here. Did he break the law? No, Bob's a good guy. But he is an Akalak. Okay, so Ravok is a racist town.. but that's still probably not enough for someone to risk their life over. Time for more depth. Let's say the antagonist, who will be known as Tom, developed a firm hatred for Akalak's after his mother was sold to one a couple years back. Still not enough to risk your life attacking a random stranger? Well let's also say that Tom's mother died giving birth to an Akalak. Now.. that's quite a bit to make someone hate Akalak's, but why risk his life now? Well, it's the anniversary of his mother's death. He's been drinking away his sorrow, and Bob just happened to be getting a bit too friendly with a pretty human waitress. Tom was just trying to protect her. Things get out of hand and blood is shed. Take a simple idea, add some reason to it, and you've got a meaningful thread. My biggest weakness I think is my inability to put what I am seeing into words. I suck at describing things. I'm a very to the point writer also, which some people have said is a strength, but a lot of times it hurts me. I hate it when people fill their posts with paragraph after paragraph of flavor/descriptive text that has nothing whatsoever to do with their point only to make their posts look longer. Some flavor is good, but too much is bad. Still, when I am writing I sometimes skip or gloss over describing things that deserve more detail than I give them. I just have trouble putting to words the visions I see in my head. Whether it's scenery, my character's appearance, even action posts some times, I just have trouble describing to them. Even if I have a picture I find it difficult to describe what I am looking at in words. Maybe my vocabulary just isn't big enough, but I don't think that's it. I just can't figure out how to describe things, and so often times important things in my stories don't seem nearly as important because I was only able to put one or two sentences into their description instead of a whole paragraph. Again, I think too much flavor is a bad thing, but no flavor is even worse. My posts aren't entirely flavorless, but sometimes I think they could use more and I can't figure out why I am incapable of doing it. Another thing that ties into this is describing emotion, or giving an entire post a certain emotional feel to it. Once again I have difficulty describing these things in a detailed or effective way. I can write a mystery thread, but it doesn't feel mysterious to me. Romance I'm a little better at, but even that is difficult. Anyway, I would love to hear what everyone else thinks about this. What do you think my strengths and, more importantly, my weaknesses are and if you have any tips or advice on anything I've mentioned I'd love to hear it. I want to take my writing to the next level, but I need help to do it.

[Caelum]

First and foremost, you totally get a beer from me for the self character diamond (even if it more of a character line). Cheers. Please be aware that the only reason I am stating anything that could be perceived as negative here is because you specifically requested constructive criticism. To be honest, I’m a pretty big fan of yours. I have found both your posts and ideas to be consistently entertaining as well as inspiring. Typically, I wouldn’t breathe a critical word. Finally, my opinion probably doesn’t count for crap anyway. Here goes. You stated your biggest weakness as an inability to put what you’re seeing into words. That translates to me as flaws in the effectiveness of your communication. Sure, it can have something to do with vocabulary, but I doubt it is the vocabulary you know more than it is the vocabulary you actually utilize. It seems to me your strength has created your weakness. What I mean by that is direct, to the point writing is a strength. Clarity and eloquence are children of that style. Unfortunately, so are sterility and distance. As I am someone who is likely of those writers you would box as overly descriptive, I might not be your best resource. However, in the end we can only talk about what we know; and this is what I know and how it relates to my writing. I abhor an abundance of words. Wait, what? KATIE? I know, right? But I’m dead serious. Look at my face. This is Katie’s Serious as Shit Face. I do not like being overburdened with useless words. I cannot stand to read a piece of literature (book, game, or otherwise) that has a good four extra paragraphs of unnecessary verbiage. It drives me insane when players in Mizahar talk about post length as if a long post somehow equates better writing than a short post. It doesn't. Period. Hemmingway's technique of "every word must fall like a brick" is very true. You, sir, have a talent with this. This is a talent in cutting out the excess, in leaving out anything and everything that is not absolutely necessary to the story. It is an excellent communication vehicle. So why did I say it seems your problem is communication? “Necessary to the story” is ambiance, voice, feeling too. These things can be achieved without excess by using tools such as evocative language and motif. Evocative language is most easily obtained by substituting the first word that comes to mind with a different one that says the same thing, but better. “Live” words, I think of them. The wind is blowing through the branches. The wind is weeping in the trees. The wind is snapping branches like elbows and knees. And so on. Each of these sentences ultimately just means the damned wind was up in the stupid trees, but word choice changed how the reader felt about them drastically. It set a mood and still kept it short and to the point. Motif, well, I’m sure you know what that is too. You mention how you have rarely found it necessary to describe how a wall looks or how the air smells or whatever it is. I can’t say I blame you. On the other hand, insolong as you consider such things to be boring, they will be. You can describe the way a shadow is thrown on a wall and alter the entire ambiance of a scene. The trick is not to be descriptive for description’s sake, but to use description like the cheap whore it is to both enhance and further plot. Write the description of how a man is riding a horse instead of stating how a man feels or what he is thinking. Make it communicate the same thing in the end. The exact same thing. Nothing extra. All pertinent. I hope this has been somewhat helpful. Again, I am a fan of yours. I should get back to work. Take luck. - k.

[Sira]

Thanks, Katie. Actually, that was very helpful. I could think of exactly what to call my "weakness." But you figured it out. Granted, I still am not very good at actually describing what something looks like, but you did help me concerning how to describe the general feel of the post. I couldn't think of the word motif, but yeah. Anyway, thanks! I'm working on a post right now that I am trying to "level up" before posting, and I'll try to incorporate your advice. And maybe not even call it a character line.. I kinda bounced around a little, so it was more just a character squiggle. ^^ ~Ron

[Verilian]

Posts Due How Healers Hunt Ahhhh. Gotta love that New Home Smell Promises Must be Kept

[Sira]

Sira's Thread Goals Fall 511 AV September (2011) 1. Start a brawl. Promises Must be Kept 2. Train a skill. talons or Sword Why not Both! 3. Take a fall. Are you smarter than a newborn? 4. Craft something completely from scratch. Cooking away her Frustrations October(2011) 1. Throw a party. It's a Party, People! 2. Have a crazy dream. Sex Dream 3. Wax eloquently on a topic for bells. Say "Hello" 4. Invent a new saying. Promises Must be Kept November(2011) 1. Try your hand at home brewing. Cooking away her Frustrations 2. Insult someone or be insulted. Promises Must be Kept 3. Give someone a gift or receive one. It's a Party, People! 4. Acquire a serious injury. Promises Must be Kept

[Verilian]

Kelsey and I at the Ren Fair

[Phoenix]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. You guys are SO CUTE. I WANNA GO TO THE REN FAIR. WTF.


Why didn't you invite me


Were in a fight.


Fight over, cause I'm awwwww'ing at the picture again.

[Verilian]

Post by Post Word Counts Sira's Word Counts : Day 1 879 678 502 500 551 590 Day 2 531 750 508 Day 4 754 757 Day 5 1180 Day 7 786 Day 8 1313 616 677 480 Total: 10872 Sashi's Word Counts : Day 1 745 Total: 745 Leiwinn's Word Counts : Day 1 506 325 Total: 831 Massacre's Word Counts : Day 1 558 Day 2 553 470 Total: 1581 Verilian's Word Counts : Day 1 411 Total: 411

[Sira]

Oie.. I think the world just doesn't want me to write. Yesterday was writers block and today i have a headache that wont go away.