[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Aidara]

You should feel so super special that I got my ass out of bed far before I wanted to get up just to reply to your scrap. And I sat here for like... forty five minutes trying to find something important to say, and I got nothing. Just hugs, love, and a hand to help you wade through all the bullshit. Plus, Seven is right. Just keep on keepin on. I like that.

[Sojourn]

I've always struggled with true friendship on the internets. I have a few very good friends that I've never met in person (except via Skype, so I guess that counts indirectly), but would totally meet if the opportunity presented itself. These are genuine people who understand that true friendship is not give, give, give or take, take, take. It's a balance of both, and then so much more.

It's a rare gem on the internet, an anonymous place that many of us can say we've never been without (not me, but younger folks), that allows for a lack of accountability and responsibility whenever we so desire, to find someone genuine and willing to just be themselves. It's always a relief. An oasis, really. Those people are worth clinging to, because, indeed, they are the ones willing to wade through the bullshit and just be people, people who are there for each other in action instead of just text on a screen.

People who can be counted on to be there when needed.

Those are good friends.

Let everyone else just hang out with themselves. That's what they're doing anyway, even if they don't know it.

[Alea Davenport]

I've been struggling with the concept of friendship ever since I massively botched the execution a few years ago. I definitely agree that the time commitment is a major necessary part of friendship, and has been the main reason I've been struggling to find friends recently. My biggest hiccup seems to be that, while I'd be perfectly interested in hearing about someone's day, I don't really know how to convey that. I don't know how to go from being just Mizahar friends to being the kind of friends that talk about real-world stuff. I guess I'm just impatient, and don't like waiting the requisite amount of time for trust to be built.

I am a person who tends toward the selfish, but I also occasionally have a genuine interest in how other people are doing (maybe not quite as often as I should, but more than none). One habit I've gotten into, and I'm not sure whether it works or not, is that whenever I want to tell someone about my problems, I first have to ask "How are you?" (or some variant). Once I've listened until they are done talking, only then may I talk about me.

Anyway, if you ever have people dumping their problems on you, feel free to send 'em my way if you want, because I'm pretty darn sure I AM one of those people who loves hearing about people's problems. I've even declared it a hobby in the past....

Aaaand with that, I declare it to be past my bedtime. Happy scrapbooking, and thanks for letting me babble

[Cascade]

I can kind of relate with how you feel. Personally, my feelings on the matter can basically be summed up to, "I don't mind listening to you, but it would be nice if you could ask me how I feel as well."

I do agree with you when you say that some people tend to use online friends as a substitute to real friends. This shouldn't be the case. Just because someone's online on your messenger list and it's easy to type up everything to a faceless person doesn't mean you should do just this, especially when she barely knows you, and vice versa. I, for one, don't mind listening to other people, but that's not something that magically happens. I have to actually like you before anything, until then, you're just another blank face on the internet.

It's difficult to evolve from a 'blank face on the internet' to someone more than that, but the process does not involve spamming another person with things about yourself. Soj is right, it's a balance of give and take.

[Ulric]

I'm getting lots of vibes out of this, so I'm probably going to ramble.

think of it this way. If I’m here, it’s because I want to write with people. I italicize write because it’s my focus. I find the with subordinate because when I don’t write, I don’t interact with people here. I’m usually a laissez faire, do what you want kind of guy, but I don’t like when with replaces write. I won’t knock you if that doesn’t affect me, but I’ll quietly disapprove. I like anonymity because it keeps to ignorant of distractions and lets me focus on what I’m doing. It’s convenient, but invariably that kind of hiding works against you. I don’t know what people look like. I don’t know if they’re pulling a fast one because I only get to know what they divulge. It’s the reason I stay away from with.

With isn’t a bugbear, though. Friendships do exist, and chat can be moderately entertaining. Forums are inherently social mediums. Dividing IC from OOC can be tricky, prompting a majority of squabbles. People do live vicariously. Some do it unflinchingly, but there’s usually a kind of middle ground. There wouldn’t be a magical fake world if we didn’t occasionally wish we could ride eagles or throw fireballs. There’s nothing wrong with that, just the intensity. Always seeing the same faces worries me. This could be the entirety of their social life.

That means character relationships may become analogous to personal relationships. This disturbs me.

Through my life, I’ve incurred plenty of anger by advising, ‘just chill out.’ That’s my policy. Taking everything so seriously only leads to hurt feelings. Thinking you can barge in on somebody and instantly become their best friend is delusional. The only time I’ve gotten worked up here is when, in my judgment, I think cliques begin subordinating writing. I don’t like this because somebody’s always mad at somebody else, and I want to shriek that they should all get over themselves and be more professional. I haven’t don’t it yet, and I probably won’t. It’s not for me to say. I can’t dictate their writing/with ratio. I simply ignore it as best I can. There are plenty of people I might not like, which is why I don’t talk to them. That leaves room for respect, coupled with ambivalence. Ambivalence and disharmony don’t mix. Like at all.

Jen, you shouldn’t have to deal with people forcing themselves on you. I can’t help but think it’s because they don’t realize it, since otherwise, what does that say about them?

 

[Gossamer]

. Bracelets From Ron! Otherwise known as Ravok's DS the intrepid Verilian. My favorite website and my favorite saying... Ron did a fantastic job with them. I ordered a large but I should have gotten even bigger. I have such excellent wrists to use in case of a honkeytonk brawl but not so suited to delicate bracelets. They say "Mizahar"... "Words Reveal Soul" .

[Evalin]

Only one thing to say... where can I get one?

[Verilian]

Well, as long as we're all showing off our Mizahar wristbands, here is mine! It's old and starting to fade, but I think it just makes it more awesome: I've been wearing this (well.. 2 copies so far) for the last year and a half. Oh, and I forgot to post this when I made it so here it is. Jules demanded I do another, so here it is. The making of: And if you want to know how to get one for yourself, the way to do it is in the description.

[Pash'nar]

Ummmm ... those are awesome wristbands!

[Phoenix]

In Which Jules Replies to Jen and is Awkward