[Elysium & Eosi's Scrap] Pithy Insights

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The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.

[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Sybel on December 17th, 2012, 4:02 pm

Nice Dream! (Huh?)
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Last night I had my first real Mizahar dream, (unlike all those half-waking remembrances of staring at a glowing screen.) I kept hanging out at Jen's house which was not a farm, but rather an extremely long adobe-style house with whitewashed walls and really ugly gray carpet. When I say long, it was a dream-world kind of long, E.G. NEVER ENDING. My boyfriend kept hanging out there too, but for some reason there was no Gillar to be found. Anyway she kept harassing me about staying for her end of the year party, which for some reason was a Halloween Party rather than a Christmas Party. I stayed about five minutes and the party was underway.

Jen kept disappearing, all her friends were just dressed in a lot of black. I kept losing various objects and finding them again. When I made it out into the back yard, there was a whole group of State Troopers just hanging out in a circle. Our lovely host, whose height blotted out the moon, kept assuring me she'd be back. Deja vu moment. Seriously. Every time I'd happen upon her at the shindig, she'd have some other group of people to chat with in her ENDLESS house. Julie was supposed to be there but never showed up. By the end, I was sitting in a sweet dodge 4X4 ready to drive home. But some gorgeous guy with bright blue eyes passed by and I ended up cat calling at him and following him back into the house.

Sigh.

I woke up really amused, needless to say.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Phoenix on December 17th, 2012, 7:19 pm

I always show up to parties

Especially creepy, obviously murder filled holloween ones.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Gossamer on December 17th, 2012, 7:26 pm

We were just stalling to kill you. The victim in any horror flick always goes back in for more as the audience screams DONT GO IN THERE!
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Elysium on December 17th, 2012, 7:29 pm

We all know how much you love parties, Jules. :P

As for waiting to kill me, I'm unsurprised. I think my dream was alluding to that when I couldn't find my keys toward the end there.

My question: What was up with the cops? They were just hanging out, roasting smores. If it was a costume, then I'd be surprised. Those shotguns looked pretty real... For a dream.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Sybel on December 19th, 2012, 4:43 am


Atlantis - Ellie Goulding

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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Sybel on December 19th, 2012, 3:25 pm

Exhausted

I really wish I didn't feel so tired all the time. Sometimes I wonder if it's a health-based issue, but I know that can't be right. Other times I believe it's stress but my life isn't that difficult in lieu of what others deal with. Whatever the reason all I know is that I feel tired about ninety percent of the time. I think a good solution might be to take some vitamins. I know my birth control can lead to brittle bones, so I should be taking calcium supplements. Then again, I knew that three years ago when I started the medication in the first place.

I tend to get tunnel vision. I focus acutely on one thing and all else sort of falls to the wayside. Friendships, projects, homework ect ect. I've become infinitely better at balancing things with age, but it's still something I deal with pretty regularly. Like right now. I'm writing this and I have six minutes to be ready for work. I can manage that in ten, but you begin to see my issue. I really need to work on maintaining balance. AND on that note, adieu.

EDIT

You didn't think I'd leave it hanging, did you? I really hate loose ends. Anyway, I think what my exhaustion boils down to is sensitivity. I become flustered far more easily than others. To an extent I do it to myself. (E.G. making myself late to things) but otherwise it's my inability to micromanage my own life. Being raised by a single Father really helped me with the "big picture" aspect of management, but now I feel that I appear callous or absent-minded because I'm constantly everywhere all at once.

I've been habitually making a cup of tea and taking a calming breath when this happens. Factoring out the world's imminent end, I have some time without kids coming up at work. The easygoing, project-based environment will help me chill out a lot. Just writing some of this down helps me feel a bit better about everything. I just need to relax.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Sybel on December 21st, 2012, 7:23 pm

Purpose

For those of you who didn't read the first page of these scraps, I work at an environmental education camp for sixth graders (eleven year olds) as a part of their media arts team. We have a nightly character-based program called NorthBay Live! that is co-hosted by my counterpart and I. Last night I sat, admiring one of the live musical interludes we have during our final performance. I thought: What if this really was my last moment? I could feasibly die before I made it home. Anything could happen. Just sitting on the stage near the speaker, feeling the bass radiate through my chest, I began to think about what my life had meant.

I've been blessed with a unique opportunity to impact children's lives. My job description could arguably be "professional role model." I teach these kids to be responsible for the choices they make, to act in kindness toward one another rather than hate and to choose the life they want regardless of the circumstance. Some of these kids come from Baltimore City and PG county - from some incredibly tough neighborhoods. Once upon a time I went to leave the Theater and found a small boy curled up in the fetal position, weeping. I asked him what was wrong and he proceeded to tell me that his Father had died during his stay at NorthBay. His Mother was in jail. He wept because he didn't have a home to go back to him and feared what his life had become.

I was stunned. I didn't know what to do.

That is just one of the unique issues these children face. So I got up from my seated position and moved to our next segment where we talk one on one to the whole audience of children. I remember trembling, almost for the first time truly comprehending the impact I could have on their lives. They might remember my name, my face. They could remember me as the person who showed them they could always do better for themselves. When the talk was done, it was eerily silent. Every single one of them had listened intently to what I'd said. How I told them to "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Which is funny, because had you asked me three years ago if I'd be quoting Plato for a group of three hundred middle schoolers, I'd look at you as if you'd suddenly grown an additional arm.

We told them they were special. That they were all kings and queens in their own right. They began to cry; no one had ever told them that in their entire lives. None of them knew what it was to be loved unconditionally by their parents. When I say none, I mean none. The whole room was rife with tears. I remember crying too. That tends to happen a lot on Thursday nights. I once was a child of abuse and neglect. I know what its like to be just like them. That is what strikes a chord so deeply in my heart.

You want to know why I do it?

This is why:



They deserve that life they were never afforded. They deserve to live as if money was not an object. Each child is faced with having to earn that for themselves however. They have no support system. Their families have nothing to give. Most are barely getting by as it is. All they have to operate on is, literally, what they were born with. That's it. For some of us, it can be pretty hard to comprehend not having wi-fi or a television or even a car. Imagine living without even one good parent - living in a foster home or with your grandmother. Imagine living in a hellish, abusive situation. Imagine that your brother, father and all of your cousins are in a gang. What options do you have? It can be hard to have a frame of reference.

I do it because if these kids need an advocate, by the gods it'll be me.

It all hit me then. I love my job and I love my life. I love the friends I have here on Mizahar and I love the people I have here irl. If I die tomorrow, I will have died knowing I had purpose. That's more that can be said for a lot of people in this world.

That I loved until my heart was fit to burst.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Elysium on January 5th, 2013, 9:26 pm


Okay, I mean it this time.
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Whimsy on January 6th, 2013, 1:23 am

1. You are ridiculously pretty. Like, really.

2. As Floating AS in Kalea, I can not only speak for Lhavit (which will always have a special place in my heart) but also the entirety of Kalea. As Kate said, there are some really amazing plots coming up. Small scale, and wide spread.

3. It's a really brilliant time to make a PC in Kalea. Kalea's the sort of place where there are so many extremes and opposites that anything goes. A mad hypnotist high on Djed and Illusions from Alvadas, an Ethaefal torn between secularism and devotion in Lhavit, a Symenestra desperate to see their people continue, whatever you want. It's such a wonderful region. It really really is. And with so many new STs and so much development happening, you can really be assured that there will be personal attention to each and every one of you.

4. Did I mention that you are pretty?

- Haley xx
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[Sybel's Scrapbook] Lust for Adventure

Postby Sybel on January 7th, 2013, 2:49 am

stuff and things

Haley - Thank you! (blush) I really appreciate you watching and you are absolutely right. Kalea is the place to be!

For everyone that I owe threads or replies to... I'M SORRY! This is especially going out to Mike. (I'm so sorry) I have been so stuck on Eosi that I'm feeling helpless with poor Sybel. I promise I will get back to you all as fast as I can.
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