Flashback Parting Gift (Ayatah)

[Razkar]

”It will be good to rest.”

Razkar could only grunt his agreement for the moment. They had trekked through the jungle for well over six bells and covered more ground than he had hoped. They had passed the swamps, the tiny lake that stood between his village and Taloba, the copse of strange purple-trunked trees that had been there for generations...

"We're making good time," he said as he started making a fire, forming a circle of stones first and then gathering firewood. Once it was lit and roaring, they'd get some of the salted boar from inside their bags. "At this rate, we should get back to Taloba by tomorrow evening."

The words should have been delivered with enthusiasm, even pride, but as it was they sounded... mournful. There they were, two young Myrian heading back to their capital, where purposeful service awaited them, and all he wanted was a few more days. Or months. Or years.

Why did time have to be so merciless with them? Why couldn't it stall for the better moments? Always it pressed and bullied its way forward...

"I suppose..." Razkar spoke slowly and carefully, words punctuated occasionally as he banged flint against his gladius. "That we should, ah... talk about what will follow. When we arrive at Taloba, I mean."

The silence was, in a word, resentful. Like it wasn't enough that time was conspiring against them, Razkar had to add himself to their list of problems. He found that he couldn't even turn to face her as he skewered chunks of quivering meat onto sticks, readying them over the juvenile but growing fire.

He smiled, rubbing his tired and sweaty face. Problems weren't solved by avoiding them. No matter how far you ran, they always found you. He turned and looked at her plain, face intent.

"We cannot put this conversation off forever, Aya. You know of what I speak."

When their dinner was over the flames, he shifted over and seated his rump on the pelt next to her. He took her hand, letting her know his words were in earnest with that simple, solid connection.

"I... I, ah..."

Still he could not find the words to throw all caution to the wind. It would be nothing less than throwing himself from a cliff, and much as Razkar look, he knew he did not have the courage for that. Finally he clenched his jaw... drew a breath... looked her in the eyes.

Found that his courage was with how she looked at him in that moment.

"I love you." He felt a strange power take root from saying those words. A liberation. "I... I am sure that is what I feel for you. It has struck hard and without warning, and I was not sure for a while what it was. Barely days have we known each other and yet... I have never felt this for another. Not kin, not clan... no-one."

He reached up and stroked her soft, shocked cheek, smile creasing his features.

"But our own feelings, our relationship, is not all in our lives. We have our duties. Our clans and our responsibilities." Almost without him knowing it, he felt his words grow harder, tighter, as if his parents were speaking through him. Love and feeling were fine, giddy things, but Myrians had their duties and then did not shirk them. "I do not know how we can reconcile the two halves of this problem, Aya. Help me, I beg of you."

Razkar let his head drop, silence enveloping them, broken only by sizzling meat and the distant, disinterested sounds of the Jungle.

[Ayatah]

"At this rate, we should get back to Taloba by tomorrow evening."

Ayatah nodded in agreement, but did not smile nor say anything. They should be glad to complete their journey in a third of the time. But her back ached, her shoulders were sore and her legs cramped when she stretched them…. And of course, Taloba meant the separation of them both.

So she sat down in front of the fire, warming her hands and legs as she watched him ready their food. She shrugged off her longbow, and placed it on her lap. The bow was well made, with

"I suppose... That we should, ah... talk about what will follow. When we arrive at Taloba, I mean."

Ayatah froze then, muscles coming to a dead halt as if she was infiltrating an enemy camp. Part of her wanted to completely ignore what he had said, and to live in complete denial about the passing time. But with only a day or so to go…

”You’re right.” Her words were simple: tight and constrained. It would be obvious to him that she was meticulously controlling how her words were pronounced and spoken, as if she feared letting her true thoughts and feelings escape.

But she could not control her voice and her facial expression. That seemed too much of a task for Ayatah, given the current topic of conversation. She watched the fire intently, face still and hardened, but if he happened to look close enough, he would see that her brow creased into a light frown, and that she grazed her bottom lip with her teeth. She was worried; fearful of what his next words might be. Rejection was not something she had ever taken lightly, let alone when she was in so deep already.

She felt his hand on hers, and her dark eyes cast over his. They held each others gaze for a chime or two, and Ayatah’s frown eased a little and she sighed the rest of her worry away.

We have been lucky for these past few days. If that is all I can have, I will have to suck it up and be happy…

…Yeah, like you could move on just like that…

”I love you.”


Thank Myri…. She blew a jet of cool breath from behind her teeth, and let complete and utter relief wash over her. He had admitted his feelings, and they just happened to match her own. The smile on her face betrayed her overwhelming joy at the words, and she nodded along to what he was saying.

"I do not know how we can reconcile the two halves of this problem, Aya. Help me, I beg of you."

Whether it was the Myrian within her, the Eypharian, or just the fact that Ayatah was a woman, she didn’t know -- but the answer to their issues did not seem so problematic now. Her fingers gently brushed the side of his face, lifting his head up so they were looking at each other once again.

”I love you too.” She smiled and shrugged, as if the words were as obvious as the sky was blue. Her voice was soft, barely louder than a whisper. ”And I do not want to…” She tilted her head to one side as she considered her next words.

”I do not want to give up on what we have. You’re right; we’ve known each other for barely anytime at all. But… We both feel something completely new for one another, and so I think to not… try would be folly. I don’t want to be some old woman who lives in regret of what could have been.”

She shifted her position from sitting to kneeling, facing him straight on.

”But you’re right, again. Our duties and families mean that we can’t just delight in each other and ignore everything else. But that isn’t what I want.” Ayatah’s fingers brushed his chest lightly and affectionately, ”I want you to be a part of my life, along with my duties as a daughter of Myri and alongside being a member of the Scattered Bones.

”So… we try. We bang the metaphorical two halves together until they fit. We do our duties - you with your service and me with… whatever Myri throws at me. And we see each other when we can. I assist the army in patrols or missions if numbers are low… So our respective duties might throw us together time to time.” She nodded, as if convincing herself as much as anyone else.

”But we try. We try our best.”

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Razkar]

”I love you too.”

Razkar felt a long, shuddering sigh escape his mouth, but the shuddering did not shake. The relief coursed through him and he could barely believe what he'd heard. But he had, he was sure of it. He hadn't fallen asleep yet and so this was still real.

At least they were on equal footing in this strange journey.

”I don’t want to be some old woman who lives in regret of what could have been.”

The male smiled sadly and nodded. He knew such women, and men, who had that story to tell. They always seemed to, as well, as if reminding themselves of their folly. Myrians lived a long time. Over a century, for most. Razkar could not imagine so many years, so many decades, eaten up by unrealized hopes, by loneliness caused by a word not spoken or spoken at the wrong time. But for those, mayhap his parents would not have been joined, and where would he be?

No. He did not want a live shadowed with regret. What could be worse?

”But we try. We try our best.”

Razkar listened to the rest, held her hand as she stroked his face, but it was those final words that sealed it for him. It was their entire plan in two short sentences, because what else could they do? They could only plan so far, only see the pitfalls and problems for so many turns. Other than that, they would just have to... wing it.

But then that fear gripped him again: that terror of what time could erode. What if their feelings for each other faded? How long would it take? Years? Months? Weeks? Would it happen for both or just one? Or-

Razkar screwed his eyes shut as if trying to drown out a multitude of voices, which he was. His lover saw the look on his face and drew his face up to hers. He opened his eyes... and looked into hers...

He kissed her. Hard and passionate and there was a desperation to it, as if claiming her here, now, under the dying sun, would somehow mark her forever. When he broke off, there was a hoarseness to his voice, but his wits were slowly returning.

"We will try, my love. We may fail. We may not. But we will not look back with regret. We will honor our clans and our Goddess-Queen... and each other." He moved away from her and kissed the back of her hands, smiling as he pressed his forehead to them. "I thank her for bringing you into my life, Aya. For making the world a little less grey and dull by your entrance. We shall try."

Finally, he stood, and she rose with him. Still holding her hand, he jerked his head towards the smoking chunks of boar. A new smile was on his face now, reborn and filled with something that made it seem radiant.

Hope.

"I hope you're hungry."

[Ayatah]

That was it. Their conundrum was solved… or rather; they had decided what to do about it. A decision had been made: they would try.

And Ayatah could not even attempt to wipe the sheepish grin that claimed her face. The two of them had confessed their affection - no, their love for each other - and doing so had only solidified what Ayatah knew she had felt beforehand. Paira had told her daughter before that love and combat were incredibly similar; both were fuelled by passion, albeit by emotions on opposite side of the spectrum, both had the potential to cause heartbreak and loss. And both were precious in their own way.

But like many children who hear to their parent’s sayings and beliefs throughout their life, Ayatah had dismissed her mother’s wise words. Until now, of course.

Now, she understood exactly what her mother had meant. It had been truly terrifying to share her honest feelings with Razkar, even if he had done so first. In a way, it had been a more harrowing experience than going in battle; Ayatah knew how to fight a Dhani, or Charodae or human. But how do you fight heartbreak and hurt? I pray to Myri I won’t find out…

But the victory… Ah, yes. The victory of knowing that her lover loved her was even more rewarding than a dead Dhani... And the idea made Ayatah chuckle coyly.

It would have been foolish, however, to assume that there would not be hardships or challenges. It was possibly that their feelings for one another might abrade with time, or distance. Now is not that time for ‘what if’s, Ayatah told herself sternly as she pushed the pensive thoughts out of her mind, we deserve this time, at least.

Their kiss was perfect, and Ayatah melted into it most willingly, as if she was experiencing the sensation for the first time.

"We will try, my love. We may fail. We may not. But we will not look back with regret. We will honor our clans and our Goddess-Queen... and each other."

It was an ideal plan, and whether or not they would succeed in days, months or even years to come no longer concerned Ayatah. They had each other, in equal measure of love that existed between the two of them. That was enough for her. ”And I thank the Gods for you, Raz. We deserve to try.”

They stood and made their way to the fire, picking the skewered pork carefully with their fingertips. The meat was had blackened a little too much, but given the conversation topic that had taken up their time, Ayatah could hardly complain. It still tasted great regardless.

”So,” she said, keen to lift the topic of conversation. There was a frisky smirk on her face as she spoke, ”how about we test that tiger pelt?”

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Razkar]

”So, how about we test that tiger pelt?”

Razkar was still wiping the fatty, delicious juice from his lips when he heard those words purred to him. Cheeks still stuffed with meat he turned, and saw... well, dessert, for want of a better description.

A few hasty chewings later, and he was kneeling next to her, cushioned by the thick and luxurious pelt. He was always amazed how the pelts never seemed to get sodden or slick with humidity. Then again, if they did, how would the tiger who wore it ever survive?

"Purely in the interests of workmanship, yes?"

She nodded and he let the chuckle escape his lips, disarming himself. His gladius and ax and his new dagger went to the side, always within arms reach. The fire would burn the rest of the night. It would have to. There would be plenty of things stalking and slithering while they slept, and most knew only the fire of the Myrians as something to fear and avoid.

Myri knew Razkar did not want to be disturbed that night.

Once he was down to just his loincloth, and so was she, he got on all four and prowled towards her. Smirk large and happy on his face, he positioned himself over her and lost himself in a deep kiss, slowly sinking his body down until they were pressed flushed together. Light fingers traced down her smooth skin, undoing troublesome clasps and slipping leather from flesh as they went.

"And if nothing else," he whispered between kisses, "We have these nights... and they cannot be taken from us..."

[Ayatah]

"Purely in the interests of workmanship, yes?"

”Oh, of course.” She agreed, leaning back on her elbows upon the soft fur and grinning widely.

The sounds of the jungle seemed to slip away as he leant over her, and when his body pressed against hers, everything around them disappeared. Almost like tunnel vision, Ayatah could only see Razkar, could only feel his warm skin on hers, and hear the sound of his breath and heartbeat.

"We have these nights... and they cannot be taken from us..."

His whisperings were true, Ayatah knew. And it was such memories, of the two of them lying together on the skin of that tiger they slew just days ago, that she would go back to in years to come. Her own Great-Grandmother had such memories, some that she shared with her family and others that she kept private to herself. Razkar would be one of each; some she would gladly tell her children and descendants, and others… not so much.

Soft fingertips brushed his shoulders and back, feeling the muscles and making the most of these stolen moments. It did not take long, or much effort, until the clothes were off their bodies, and flung carelessly away from the two writhing bodies.

There was no feeling like that of flesh on flesh, and soon their bodies were joined. Ayatah moaned and arched her back, drawing her long legs upwards and around his waist. Each pulsating and grinding movement made her gasp and bite her lip, or drag her fingers tantalizingly slowly down his back.

Oh, how she would certainly remember this night.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Razkar]

When their lust had been satisfied, after they had risen and fallen against each other until they were spent, Razkar would remember being more in love with her in those quiet after moments than at any other time. Maybe it was because his head was riven of fears and concerns; nothing mattered in them, so happy and carefree were they both.

It was the same that night, lit only by the fire before them, tiger pelt under their worn and sweating bodies, and yet they held each other despite the heat. They kissed and caressed for what seemed like an eternity, until the fire shrunk to the point Razkar had to put more wood on top.

She was already half-asleep when he returned. He smiled and moved behind her, wrapping her arms and that of the tiger pelt around both of them as he did so.

The Jungle sounded around them, from mating insects to squealing predator and prey, doing their endless dance of hunt and death in the dark foliage.

Razkar ignored it all. His world and shrunk to her, and for that night, it was big enough.

----------

Whenever they one drew close, it was always the smell that alerted the senses to the presence of the city. Razkar's nostrils twitched, uncertain at the change of atmosphere, sensing... tanning leather. Forge fires. A multitude of sweat and churned dirt. Oils and fruits and meats and spices in no way native to this part of the Jungle assailed him, told him they were close.

That and the shadow.

Even through the thick greenery of the Jungle, Razkar could see the ominous stone hills rising from leagues away. As they picked their way closer that afternoon, the hills grew more distinct, larger, sharper, formed from vast stone blocks put in place centuries, perhaps even millenia ago.

When they finally broke the treeline into the open ground surrounding the high walls of Taloba, Razkar... well... one could not fail to feel small next to its grandeur.

"Glory to Myri," he said, using the same worn but vital phrase his clan had taught him, bowing slightly to the distant gate with the massive Dhani skeleten snaking over it, "For we have arrived at her seat, and the heart of her people..."

Then the young male sighed, a strange clash with his previous piety, and cast Ayatah a reluctant look.

"Well... I suppose we'd best get inside."

[Ayatah]

Taloba meant home to Ayatah, though her family lived on the east side of the city -- so why did she feel so odd returning to it?

The tall stone buildings, the smells, and the sounds of hundreds of voices all bought back familial memories to her. She should be relieved to see her home, and a small part of her was. But another part… Ayatah stole a tiny glance to Razkar, standing beside her. Things had changed since she had left for the Kandukta, mere days ago. There was an entirely new person in her life, someone who meant so much to her, and in a completely different way to anyone before.

Of course, she was eager to see her family, and be reunited with the rest of the Scattered Bones. But after the most recent events, she could not help but feel a little like a stranger in her own home, as if she had been away for a long time instead of a few days.

"Well... I suppose we'd best get inside."

Yes, they had. Syna was a little past midway through the sky, and there were still plenty of dark, lithe bodies moving amongst each other in the busiest parts of the city. As to expected, the trading square would be the hubbub of activity, with loud voices crying out their wares and prices.

”We certainly had,” she said, shielding her eyes against the glare of the sun as she stared up at the tower of bones. It was a huge thing, and Ayatah’s personal favourite structure within Taloba. It signified the strength of their people, as well as how they had darks eyes that watched all directions of the jungle. Nobody moved near the city without the patrols atop the Tower knowing about it. No doubt Razkar and Ayatah had been spotted a while back.

”When do you have to… Return to the Garrisons?” She asked, hoping that it would not be until Syna sunk into the horizon. She wanted to know how much time they had left before…

Before they had to try.

It would, after all, be perhaps socially acceptable for him to meet her mother, at least. Although Ayatah had very little clue when it came to the social guidelines regarding such things. The Myrian people were not conservative when it came to sex and coupling, but her family was a close one, and no doubt they would be fascinated with who had stolen their half-breed daughter’s heart. Plus, a tiger pelt would certainly raise eyebrows.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Razkar]

”When do you have to… return to the Garrisons?”

Razkar took a few moments before he responded, still enraptured as always, to some small degree, by the majesty and size of Taloba. It was always there, whenever he returned there. Despite the hundreds, thousands of his people living there, it still seemed... almost alien to him. He'd been a teenager before he'd first come here, never having seen stone buildings before, just the leather and wood longhouses of his village. To learn of things like "streets" and "boulevards" was a bewildering experience.

And the size, Myri, the size of the place. The Shorn Skulls village was big enough to hold two hundred of his people, and for the longest time he had thought that massive. Then he had come to Taloba. Two hundred souls might occupy one single street. He walked and walked and only after two bells could he cross from one side to the other.

You could do that in his village within a chime.

"Not until tomorrow morning," he finally answered as they both walked under the main gate, nodding curtly to the guards on duty, and the two tigers idly twitching their tales, eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly as they saw the pelt of their smaller, weaker cousin carried by the female Myrian. "So there's... not a huge rush..."

He let the sentence trail off, an unspoken answer to her unspoken question. Ayatah had already met Razkar's family; all of them, as a matter of fact. Protocol... no, that was the wrong word... politeness dictated that the same happen now they were in the place hers lived. He took her hand again, both of them weaving easily through the trickle of people on the streets.

"If you would be amenable, we could meet you family."

He did not say anything else, not wanting to push her one way or another. What happened would happen, today or another time. They found themselves on the edge of the Plaza, a vast open space where all manner of festivals, celebrations and dealings too place. Hundreds of Myrians went to and fro, not to mention the odd smattering of other races, moving almost furtively through the sea of a people not well-disposed to foreigners.

Razkar waited for her answer, face as reassuring as he could make it.

[Ayatah]

As they made their way further into the city, the memories came flooding back of a childhood surrounded by strangers, but feeling perfectly at home. Ayatah was certainly a city dweller, and knew the quickest and quietest routes to take to get to most places within the city. This was where their Goddess-Queen decided their people would live, and where she built the city from the earth and up. It was testimony to their history and story.

And it was her home

"So there's... not a huge rush..."

The words aroused a smile from Ayatah. ”I’m glad.” She said simply, her fingers brushing his forearm momentarily. An extra night, yes. It was just enough to allow them to indulge in each other’s company for a little while longer.

"If you would be amenable, we could meet you family."

”They would probably appreciate it.” She nodded, patting the tiger pelt on her back, ”I feel I might have some questions to answer, at least.” The latter sentence was accompanied by a grin, confident in how her family would respond to her sudden reappearance. And with company, too. It would certainly be unexpected, to say the least.

So with that, they moved on and out of the crowded city centre. The people became fewer, the buildings more modest. Eventually, they were passing clan homes, but these were different to the village of the Shorn Skulls. Due to the business and size of Taloba, the families that inhabited the surrounding area had to compromise in the size of their homes. It was not uncommon for a clan to have to build their new lodges a little way away from the older. The Gouging Eyes, for example, had had to build three huts a good half-bell away from the rest of their lodgings. Buy luckily for the Scattered Bones, they were a small clan, and lived just far enough away to all live in the surrounding area.

Eventually, the heart of Taloba was behind them, but the great stone buildings threw strange shadows on the earth that grew as Syna shifted westwards.

This feels more like home…

They were following a dirt path, and slowly, but surely, white fletches of bone began to erupt from the ground. Some were lying flat, and had long taken a marble-like smoothness having been walked over in the hundreds of years that they had lay there. Others stood proud and sharp, perhaps functioning more as a trap to wound enemies than decoration.

”When one of us are born, our parents always bury a bone here in our name.” she said, gesturing downwards. Some of the newer bones had small engravings in them, spelling out the name of the then-newly born clan member. She paused, point to one bone that was ever so slightly curved. ”And that one’s mine. It’s a collarbone, and it’s from a human male my mother killed just after she found out she was pregnant.”

It was a bit of a grim tradition, to a non-Myrian, at least. But such rituals symbolised a clan, and unified its members together. They created a legacy that would be passed down for centuries.

”We’re getting nearer.” The smell of food would have led them easily enough, but Ayatah had walked this way since she was a young girl, and could do so blindfolded.

Before they had even erupted from the surrounding foliage, Razkar and Ayatah had been spotted.

”Ayatah!” The call was loud enough to catch the attention of all clan members, and their heads snapped upwards to the stare at the two figures standing at the edge of their home.

A young girl hurtled towards them, leaping at Ayatah so the half-blood had no choice but to catch her. The child was a good ten years younger than her half-sister, if not even younger, but already it was clear that she would one day tower over Ayatah. ”Ismae. My little sister.” Ayatah said, nodding to the young girl she now balanced on her hip, ”who doesn’t realise that she’ll soon be far too big to throw herself at me.” Those words were directed more to the girl than to Razkar, but were said with a smile all the same.

The child giggled and nuzzled her sisters ark hair, before finally paying attention to the man next to her. ”Who’s that? Is he your friend? Where did you go? Why do you have a tiger fur on your back?”

Home sweet home….

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||