Timestamp: 69th of Summer, 518 AV.
Kelski felt like somewhere in the last five days she’d turned into one of the shadows she utterly loved. They were with her so often, never leaving her alone, that it made sense somehow in her damaged psyche to see herself as one. She was home, safe, and people who loved her were all around. But they’d been hovering, never leaving her alone, until finally she’d asked one and all of them to give her some space. She’d done so retreating into her workshop, but she’d only looked at her gems and hadn’t truthfully felt anything.
That was the problem. There was such a detachment that Kelski felt lost. She was scared to leave The Gem. She was frightened of the thought of visiting the market again. She hadn’t taken to her wings because her ribs and face had hurt so much. No one could tell anything had been done to her, but Kelski felt differently… when she could feel at all.
And she wanted to feel something. Kelski felt trapped within her soul, deep down a dark well, and the outside world was passing like clouds drifting by the opening Her world was narrow and small as she stood down below in the water and peered upwards and outwards… the well her own soul. Ebon had stayed by her side, but his endless sadness disturbed her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him around, but it was as if she wanted to feel what he was feeling because then it would be something. Ren had tried to cheer her up, but the Ocelot had no idea what Kelski was struggling with and why she wouldn’t play.
Little Rhaus played for her, but sometimes she just wanted the silence too. He seemed to understand and even though she fought it, the moods she felt would change with his music and the tension she was always feeling in her head sometimes eased. Sometimes she felt less scared when he played, but she hated that too because it meant she had to acknowledge she felt scared when the feeling lessoned.
Aer’wyn was the best help of all. He sometimes just dropped by, pretending things were normal, and told her something about his day before leaving again with some excuse to be on his way. Kelski appreciated that, being included, without any demands made on her. She rarely spoke, rarely acknowledged when someone was near, but managed to carry on the motions of normalcy hoping no one would notice nothing was normal about her anymore.
The hardest day was two days after she returned when Ebon brought her some sort of tincture and asked her to drink it. She looked at it and at him and tried to manage a question, but nothing came out. “It won’t taste good.” He explained and then gestured to the cup. “Little Rhaus told us what happened… what he did. I… you need to drink this Kelski. Just in case…” He said, his expression stoic like he had made the comment a million times before. Kelski had taken the drink, looked at him, and looked at the drink, and tried to make sense of it. Ebon tried again, this time just flat out telling her what it was. “It will keep a child from quickening inside of you, Kelski. Darvin’s child.” He said, covering the cup with her hand and urging her to drink it.
Kelski simply stared at him. Why would he care? Why would she care? It wasn’t the child’s fault if there was one. But then she realized what he meant. It would be another Darvin. Younger, perhaps more innocent, but Darvin nonetheless. Kelski opened her mouth to tell Ebon she didn’t care, then closed it again, not finding the energy or the willpower to do so. She carefully placed the drink to her lips and emptied the cup into her stomach. Bells later cramps followed, so too did blood, and her body acted like a human woman’s and cycled though Kelski had never had to bother with one before.
Ebon had walked out of the room, forgetting the mug still clutched in Kelski’s hand. As soon as the door to the suite closed, the Kelvic had hurled the mug at it. The mug smashed into it, shattered into a thousand pieces and caused the Kelvic to rise. The next day she felt a little glad… glad that she’d killed Darvin’s child if it was inside her and glad that all that was in her body when he had been was gone. And so skipping eating, skipping gathering with the group around the table, Kelski had headed for her workshop in a quiet way that leant them to believe she was going to be down there a while, and when she stopped in the middle of it, she turned a full circle, surveyed the whole place, and felt the walls closing in.
The Sea Eagle wanted to do something she was afraid to do. So she quietly left everyone behind, closing the door of the shop behind her, and set out across the city towards the market. She took her time getting there, dragging her feet along the way, and half talking herself out of it several times. Once she came to the market, the day had grown pleasant, the streets clear, and virtually no one was out and about in that early hour. Except boys… boys were casing the place and Kelski watched them do it. They spotted her and immediately they flocked into her flight path, whispering something Kelski was surprised to hear.
“Pretty lady… we’re supposed to gather all the pretty ladies. There’s a new place in town… a place to forget yourself and dance the night away. There’s liquor and music, beautiful music, and we’ve promised safe passage to everyone there. No violence allowed. Dancing only…. “ And the little boys handed her a flier. “Dress pretty… dance wildly… everyone will be there.” The boys said, looking at the flier and then looking at her. Kelski took the piece of paper, read the description on how to get to the building, and looked thoughtful.
Dancing….
Yes.
It filled her with excitement and she latched onto the feeling. Kelski carefully folded up the letter and kept walking. One of the boys, as they ran off, turned his head back towards her and said… “Wear something nice… sexy… and something other than black lip pomade.” The human said. Kelski blinked but glanced around the market. Excitement slowly replaced fear. She found it hard to be afraid when the market was all but deserted. She thought it would be hard coming back here, but it was easy with the… the monster dead. Kelski started to wander.
She passed booth after booth, the folded flier of parchment in her hand, wondering how she would acquire something to wear when a woman stepped out and hissed at her. Kelski startled because in her world hissing was a bad thing. She started to retreat, but the woman snaked out a hand and caught her wrist. “You looking for things to wear? To The Bolt Hole?” She said, nodding at the paper. Kelski caught the woman’s eye and saw nothing in her gaze but a saleswoman wanting to make a sale. The Kelvic nodded.
The woman beckoned to her to come into her tent and Kelski followed her inside, startled by the clothing that surrounded her. Most of it was leather, most of it was barely there, but all of it one could fight in. The woman looked her up and down and pulled out a pair of tall leather boots with heels that weren’t too high but just right, two inches and solid. She tossed a leather skirt on the boots, and added a belt and a cropped silk top in a deep blue that shimmered with a multitude of other nighttime colors. She added a black corset to the mix and then walked to a spot on the far side of the tent that held cosmetics. She tossed a couple of brushes into the bag, a pot of kohl, lip pomade in a color that matched Kelski’s silk top, and an assortment of other things.
“Do you know how to use any of this stuff?” The woman asked, gesturing at the cosmetics. Kelski shook her head, still not having said a word, and the woman sat her down. “You’re Kelvic aren’t you? Unbonded or you wouldn’t be clutching that piece of paper would you? Looking for a bondmate there? I’ll fix you up. It’s what I do. Those twins from Wind Reach put on an incredible show. Even if you cannot find a male of worth there, you will have a good time. Now… let me show you.” She said, setting up a mirror where Kelski could see herself, and settling across from her on a stool.
The woman laid out the cosmetics and carefully and neatly began to give Kelski a lesson. She painted her eyelids with a pot of glimmering blue shadow that matched the silk top on the pile. Next her eyes were lined and her lashes coated with a thick black inky substance that dried and made them look about four times as long. The woman powdered her face and then added a blue lip pomade to Kelski’s already black lips. Rouge painted her cheeks and Kelski stared at herself in the mirror, completely not recognizing who she was.
“Now… stand up and get out of those clothes.” The woman said and Kelski did. There was something about the woman that secured in Kelski’s mind that it was safe. She stripped and the woman helped her dress in the silk blouse, black corset and the skirt that was barely there. High boots protected her legs, and the belt fitted around her waist to hide her daggers. Kelski didn’t feel remotely like herself and she loved it.
“You look ready…” the woman said. “I’ll send your regular things back to wherever you tell me to and then you best get going… the party is about to start.” She added, laughing and looking around. “I need to be changing myself. I’ll see you dancing out on the floor… save one for me, pretty little Kelvic.” The woman said, gathering up Kelski’s discarded clothing and boxing it up. Kelski paid her what she asked for in the bill, and then wrote down the address to The Midnight Gem where the woman was already acquiring a messenger to send her things back.
Then Kelski turned and headed out, feeling… somehow better… somehow invincible as she walked and read the flier, following the instructions. She heard the music before she saw the crowd in the huge abandoned building. The sound matched her heartbeat. People surged in a huge crowd to rows and rows of drummers that were playing wildly. Torches burned even though the sun hadn’t gone down yet. When full dark set the place would look amazing. There was a raised dais with multiple drummers and singers all making music at once.
A smile split Kelski’s face and she quietly waded into the fringe, shouldering her way forward and beginning to dance. She couldn’t’ help but dance, not with the music playing and the air thrumming. IT wasn’t any kind of dancing she had seen before. People just surged in and out, ebbed and flowed, each moving their own individual way.
Within a heartbeat, someone was dancing with her, then someone else was passing her off to another partner. Sometimes they were male, sometimes female, but she enjoyed every one of them. The music was too loud to talk, so she danced, noting there was a bar that was quieter opposite and behind where the drummers were. People could talk over there, get a drink, and mingle.
But for now that didn’t interest Kelski. She wanted to dance… feel…. and be lighter.
receipt :
Count: 2040
