[Redd's Scrapbook] My Ramblings

[Nemesis]

Nemesis

Hugs and cuddles.

You've been through many recently... and can you remember when I told you about my own slave PC troubles? I don't think anyone can truly understand how hard it is to have a slave PC on this site unto they've tried it. You have my complete sympathies.

And, you know what else? I struggled with playing all of my other PCs, and even doing moderator duties, when everything went to shit with that particular PC. It's draining to know that your pride and joy is sitting there, collecting dust and just being a vat of wasted potential. Gah, it's the most frustrating thing on the planet isn't it?

But hey, I'm still fighting through and even though I tell myself that this is the last attempt at sorting my PC put, I know I probably won't give up if this new go all comes to nothing. Cause however much it hurts, I can't bear to let her go

On the plus side, however, it means that you have a stupidly sympathetic moderator who will bend over backwards to make Redd work for you... so we will sort something out for you, I promise. I even have a PC who's in the market for a slave, if it comes to that.

Don't give up. <3

[Estrellir Konrath]

As a side note, I read almost all of your posts in here... and all the personal ones. I've wanted to comment before, but this time I simply have to.

I'm sorry for our stalled thread. Eida's player told me she wanted to continue, but then she told me she wanted to retire Eida and focus on her main instead. (I probably forgot to let you know about that last bit.) Point is, I haven't forgotten about it. I want to continue it and I think it'll be an exciting thread once I get past the research part. It's just that I tend to be really slow with solos. I'm always behind on my job threads because I'm that slow... even in the threads that are just part solo. But I'm doing my best.

We had some plans for Shalita's and Est's relationship after that thread, right? I'm not exactly sure what they were, but since some of my threads have died too (and I really need new ones to get back into posting and leave behind the frustration), it'd be nice to have more threads. Even with the same person.

On a more general note, don't give up yet. Most people really like new threads with new people. I tend to PM people that are new in town just because I like their CS or their writing... and it works. At least for a few posts. Like I already mentioned, I enjoy reading your scrapbook and I'd be sad if its author disappeared together with her PCs.

[Clyde Sullins]

Perhaps I don't directly understand, as I've never made a slave pc, but in general I do sympathize with you, and know how plotting can be, and varying activity can be. Honestly most pc's that've been around for awhile and have opened themselves up at all to other pc's and risk, and did any non-solo threads to an extent will understand what you are going through, and feel your pain. Which is one of the reasons so few older players are left unretired, and still on the site. I've had well plotted out plots fall apart due to other characters, or even ST's, vanishing. I've had threads partners vanish, never post again, and have left the thread unfinished. (my oldest one of these is just over 3 yrs old, and still sitting in my subscribed threads). I've even been thread locked due to a quest several times, and unable to post until said quest was done. And at times, I've been the one who fell inactive for a time, and left others stranded, for which I do regret and apologize for, due to either getting busy, or forgetting about the thread. All I can tell you is that it will get better sometimes, and at other times worse. You'll find that pc partner to thread with who sticks with you for awhile, through a plot, and who it becomes easy to rp with, fluid almost. And at other times it won't work out well. But I find its not best to focus on these down points, and instead focus on when it is good, or else you'll never end up threading with anyone. Over the years I've had some pretty amazing thread partners, plots, and story arcs, of which I've probably had three times as many stunted and failed attempts at such things. But trust me when I say, the good ones outweigh the bad, and that while you might be at a dark and inactive point right now, there will be a point, hopefully soon, where you'll have more threads than you know what to do with. I also understand the Main character thing. Clyde is my current main, and usually if times are slow for him, I end up being slow with my other pc's, even if they have lots of thread opportunities. I think its contagious, to a degree, since we pour so much love and energy into our main's. I've gained and lost a lot of friends over the years. Clyde alone has had a kelvic he almost bonded with, two ghost "girlfriends", a pair of slaves, a pair of mage apprentices, a sidekick, several mage friends, enemies, and a plethora of other people, who are now inactive. But I think in the long run, it was worth investing in all of them, for what I did while they were around, and all the crazy adventures that occurred while they were active. Here's hoping that a active time is coming up for you soon, Clyde Sullins.

[Redd]

~Ghosts as "Girlfriends"

Thank you guys! I appreciate those words more than you know! That also goes to the people that spoke to me in message and chat! -Snuggles to all!-

Ok, so this post is mostly about the conversation that we had in chat about ghosts being as "girlfriends." Est missed out so I offered to post it into my Scraps. Enjoy everyone!

~Zebra

[Redd]

~Just a Song

This song kinda reflects me at the moment. If I have promised a thread, I'm getting round to it, just know that I'm feeling a bit of meh at the moment. Just certain things reminded me as to why I stopped doing it. xD

[Inoadar]

If you can set up having a master that's an NPC, it solves a lot of problems.
I think Vanari and I set up Yoona pretty well as a slave PC. It was not what we set out to do, but my little girl protege NPC, Vera, was originally created by Vanari, and then taken over by me when Vanari went to Nyka. She became my NPC, mostly just scenery, but she added some cuteness to a few situations.
Then in "Fish bait" she bought Yoona as her slave, to save both Yoona and Inoadar from the wrath of a pissed-off Stryfer.
So Yoona is a slave, belonging to an NPC master that is my assistant.
Not a situation that can be set up overnight by any means, but it worked out well.

In the meantime, I thought I'd throw this your way. Part III of "Close to the Edge".
Some sloppy editing at the end where it should be breaking into the big jam, but I still love it.

[Redd]

~Just Had To

Honestly, there are days that I feel like I'm going to end up accidentally shooting myself in the foot. This is one of those days.

Anyway, I shall leave you a video that I can't get out of my head ever since grading a thread for someone yesterday.

~Zebra

[Aoren]

I can't even! I am laughing so hard at that video!

[Redd]

~A Quick Note

Just a quick note to let everyone know that yes, I am focusing heavily on NaNo now and for this month, I will be lagging on a couple of my PCs as two of my other PCs will take priority this month.

Why? Because one, people are relying on me to help them get through NaNo and two, because I really want to see how far I can get my PC Redd. So, I will be focusing a lot on her history, which means flashbacks and I will be skill grinding, big time.

So I ask for your patience and thank you!

~Cheers,
Zebra

[Redd]

~One Pissed Off Redd

[WARNING! Purely OOM[Out of Mizahar] rant with details that you might not be comfortable reading.]

Yeah, it's basically as the title says, I am one pissed off Redd and it's not even Mizahar related, so people can chill if that's what they are thinking. Na, Mizahar is my release, it helps me to blow off some steam and I'm pretty fucking pissed off at the moment so don't be surprise if I hit out a lot of replies today. I mean, I am ABSOLUTELY pissed and rightly so. Again, not Mizahar related.

I am pissed off, because there is this jackass that is my boyfriend's brother, who lives in the flat with us. Well, he just has this way of pushing my buttons continuously, so after a while I have this big ass mental break down because I can't always continuously be strong or remain indifferent. I tend to snap in two ways, either in tears or I start to see red and go berserk, quite literally. Once I go down one of those two paths, I always tend to shake afterwards. Once I almost choked someone to death because all I was seeing was red. Which coincidentally was why I named Redd, Redd and I started Mizahar because I wanted to have a different outlet rather than physical violence and writing has done that for me so far... Until today.

The boyfriend's brother, is just one complete pig. He expects women to act like a 1800's wife and it really pisses me off. He expects me to do all the fucking housework and he is always putting me down with hurtful words every fucking day. So when he throws the clean clothes I just washed today on the floor when the clothes basket was right behind him, I just literally snapped and threw his clothes out the fucking door! Like shit! Really?! You can't just throw the clothes that I just fucking washed on the floor and expect me to not retaliate! Then he turns to my boyfriend and says, "Restrain your fucking woman." I tell you what, when he said that I really was seeing red and I wanted nothing more then to rip my nails into that new fucking tattoo of his. Like fuck! Sometimes those in my real life really piss me off and sometimes I feel as if I'm just not there to some people in this house. As if I'm invisible and that my feelings do not matter.

Anyway, that's my rant over and it's time to post.


-Redd